LOL! I used to be the same way and people probably even dreaded coming to my house because I was so busy cleaning up after them. This super neat and clean thing stopped a couple of years ago because I decided there is more to life than keeping my house spotless. I garden, have flowers, walk and ride and drive my horses. If I do all that there was just no time to spend keeping my house spotless. It still is hard at times letting things go.

AMY: Hey WELCOME :) I am struggling with the chocolate 2 my mom the wonderfully nice women she is bought me a full chocolate cat :S I have been good though and Ihave only eaten the ears and a bit of the face. Australia that is the one place I want to visit before I die!!! it looks so beautiful and has amazing wildlife. I am addicted to the biggest loser australia don't know if you watch it but first season I loved adro glad he won. This season I am rooting for allison, Sam or michelle. tha sucks that your husband works so far away! My husband used to do 12 hour- 16 hour shifts and I thought that was hard enough!

well I am officially going insane lol. 2 weeks until my audition!!! I finally have chosen all 3 of my songs. Misery business by paramore, gunnin by hedley, and tongue tied by faber drive. I wanted to use one of the other 2 songs as my main song for the audition but my coach insists I stick with misery business. It is really stressing me out because I have to do a key change half way through misery business because it goes to high and I don't want the judges to count that against me. Also there are 2 parts that go a bit high and I think it sounds funny. He thinks the other songs need to much work to use as a main. :S anyways now that I have bored you all to death I am going to go sit in a corner and stress lol talk to yall later

GOOD MORNING ALL!

I just feel the need to say that I am feeling better today. Of course, TOM is here not making things any easier for me. So, last night I had a good nights sleep probably for the first time in two months. Still woke up a few times and I awoke with a new attitude.

What I realized last night was I have lots of issues going on myself. See my youngest is now 17 and will be 18 soon. She has a job and a BF. I am moving into the next phase of life. I think I was using my GS to keep from moving into that next phase. We all need and want what is comfortable and raising kids is a comfort. I am afraid of this next part of life. No kids and DH works out of town. On top of that DH and I have never really been alone, he is a little scary (just kidding). My ODD is by my first marriage so she was there when we met. This is just all strange, new and a tiny bit scary. I never took the time to know who I am, never had time, now I will have time and I am finding myself a bit boring. LOL! No really, I am ready to discover the world and who I am. If the opportunity comes to take GS I will but if it doesn't happen then it doesn't. God has his plans and he knows best. For the first time in my life I leaned on God to help me and didn't try to fix it myself. As you can tell I am still learning God's ways. Another reality is, is my GS is healthy and alive. I was asking as if he is gone forever. He isn't just I won't see him as often. Well not at all until things calm down between DD and I.

IRISH! You are not boring us and I want to thank you for being their for me. :hug: You are so brave and I just can't get over what your doing, I would be crapping my pants. LOL! Picture that for a laugh. HAHAHAHA! I could be like my grandson and say Lara pooping while I am grunting. LOL! Ok, so maybe that was gross instead of funny.

Zenor ~ I sure hope you don't have to move again. I wouldn't like that at all but I know you have to do what you have to do. It would take a lot to get me to move from where I live. I don't like change and my family is in this area, even though I don't see them very often I know they are there.

BIG HUGS! My sister used to do that type of work and it is definitely trying on your nerves. My sis had one that always pinched her boob but that is the worse she had. They can definitely be scary and I hope they don't have you work with that patient again. They can be right down dangerous.

I used to work with the mentally handicap when I was in high school and decided right then and there that wasn't for me. I had one making sexual advances towards me and actually chased me around tables trying to catch up with me. Thank goodness he had physical handicaps also and someone came right away to help me. I only worked for a few more weeks and I decided I didn't trust any of them anymore and quit.

Thanks everyone for the support and yes I know what is going on is for the best. I knew I couldn't continue to face the mental abuse any longer even if it means not seeing my GS. My DH is not an emotional person and watches over me like a hawk and if anyone crosses me or hurts me he is right there to take care of the problem. He hasn't talked to my DD, he is the only Dad she knows and he loves her like his own, in probably 3 months because of what she has been doing to me. I think with my heart, he thinks with his brain. Now, she doesn't have any leverage against me. Just I feel so bad for Jose but what can I do, nothing. He is in Gods hands and I will continue to pray Gods will be done. God has all the answers and in time will reveal them to us and I will then say, thats why.

DH told me last night, your baby (ODD) can't live without Mommy and to not worry. This is true and I know it. We may be mad at each other but int he end she always comes back to Mom when she needs help or straightens up. I have always been there for my girls and gave them my life and they know it.

Amy ~ WELCOME! My DH works in the oilfield and is gone during the week and home on the weekends except this time of year when he can be gone for weeks on end. Seems as many of us have had to experience this. It surely isn't pleasant for anyone but sometimes you have to do what you have to do to survive. That is neat that you have a laptop so you can at least use the internet to see one another. DH has not a clue how to use a computer so that would be a problem.

Chocolate seems to be a downfall for me also especially during TOM and this week is TOM, right along with the Easter candy sales. OUCH! DH is eating more than I am. LOL!

Good job on the loss.

The bright side is I am losing again despite TOM. I am finding eating hard to do but am getting around 1400 calories and the weight is coming off again. Maybe I need to lower my calories to get the losses moving again. Had way to learn that lesson. LOL!

Well I am off for the weekend. I am not sure if we are still going out of town over night or not. I took the afternoon off because DH said that he wanted to take the day off together. I couldn't take the morning but could the afternoon. Now he is working all day. DAH! Anyway, I am going to go get my hair cut. I would like to go look for a pair of pants but I bloat bad in the belly area during TOM so I probably shouldn't. Maybe I will just go home and brush my horses and be irritated by the goat.

Lara: I can imagine its scary moving on to that next part of your life. When I found out I was pregnant I was so nervous I was living in a small basement apartment with my cat it has no stove, one small window and black mold in the bathroom. I had just lost my job and my husband (he was my fiance at the time) was still living at home he had just finished college and was trying to save money with the new job he had gotten. Within a month and a hlaf we had moved into our own place this was my first time living with him, we got married 3 months after moving in together and I had my son 5 months after that. I went from being an independent 20 year old women living on her own to living with 2 males...both who are dependant on me lol. Also I grew up with all women (my sis and mom) I didn't have a dad and had only lived with my moms bf a year before moving out. I never got time to live with my husband before adding the baby. We never go the enjoyment of having the extra money of 2 people working fulltime with no babies. I wouldn't give up my life for the world I love my husband and son but I do sometimes envy the people who have time for themselves and money to do things. Although this year I decided I was gonna take sometime for me..I felt guilty about it at first but I needed to thats why I am taking vocal lessons 1/2 an hour thursday nights, I am losing the weigh I feel I need to lose and I am trying out for something that I have always loved and wanted to do. You now are opening another chapter of your life where you get to be a bit selfish again, you can take time for yourself and your husband, enjoy being able to go out on outings that aren't the park, zoo or a disney movie. you can eat a restaurants that don't ask if you want fries with that lol. Also when all is said and done with that weight loss you can do all that while thinking damn I am hot lol. Enjoy this part of your life because you get to discover your independence all over again. My mom is goign through the same thing you are I am married and gone, my sister is 17 in a serious relationship and ready to move on, my mom is single so she is lonely and scared to move on. she is trying to hold on to my sister, my son and my grandfather because she doesn't know what to do with herself. I wish she would get out there and mingle and snjoy being on her own :)

Irish your a girl after my own heart :) lol
I started singing when i was 5 and had lesson for 10 years and i have a great voice , when i was a teen i was the lead singer in a band and i really enjoyed that till one of the band member tryed to kiss me and grabbed at me and that was it... lol yuck lol i was living with my hubby too i met him when i was 14 lol and we bought a place when i was 16.
.. but not the courage to go audtioning for australian idol..
If the show started b4 i had kids i would not have had a second thought about it b4 you couldnt keep me away.. but I was pregnant the first year it was on in australia and there is no way i cold be without my kids they are everything to me . I never leave them with anyone, b4 Cameron went to kindy i probably got him baby sat once for about 2 hours so me ans hubby could go watch a movie we really wanted to see at the theatre and that was it..

Now with 2 kids i think we have gone out 2 more times and left the kids for about 2 hours lol.. We saw i am legend.. and we went out for dinner alone once too .. lol We spent that whole dinner talking about the kids and what they would be up to and the picked them up earlier then we said we werte going to lol.. Im one of those mums you see with out my kids up the shops running so i can get back to them asap even though my hubby is looking after them at home.. lol .. tragic i know.. People always tell me i should leav them with them and have some time off... lol why?? I dont enjoy it . I have 2 wonderful kids , they are not naughty or spiteful , they are great fun and very loving.. they arent angels.. lol but they are my kids and i love them more then anything in the world.
I get devistated when they are sick and my daughter has been sick alot and i eat crap when she is sick . i have gained 70 pounds since she was born .. i have almost lost her a few times but im happy to say she is now healthy . she is allergic food additives and sulphar dioxide . the immunisations contain sulphar dioxide and so do antibiotics . all of wheich we found out the hard way .. add to that asthma , serum sicknes erythemea multiforme and the time they thought she had leukemia when she was 12 weeks old and mumma got very fat lol.. and stressed.. lol 3 years old and a complete worry for her mummy .. i dread the thought of her starting kindy.. what is another child shares there food with her..... lol fun hey ..
But i tell you having a child that is allergic to food additives makes eating healthy alot easier lol .. the problem is chocolate is fine.. lol. not much else crppy can come into this house .. lol why couldnt she be allergic to choc too?? lol no im kidding she has to be able to have one treat.. processed food just cant enter our house.. i can buy only one type of bread, cheese and even one brand of icecream and yogurt. and everything else is fresh fuir and ve, fresh meat , no deli meats , ham bacon etc no suasages .. notta .. lol I have to make everything myself lol.. funnily enough there is baked beans and tinned spagetti that is also ok .. so the kids get those as a treat too.( i hate them lol)

grammy i hate that he has to work away but its just that he has too or we cant pay the bills . and its 4 weeks away 1 week home . so its very long .. the one thing i do like about it is that i dont have to wash his dirts greasy duty stinking wet clothes lol .. Its so humid up there and then there is orange dust blowing around and there is grease and oil everywhere lol .. im glad he has to do his own laundry lol ... Chocolate is evil and it needs to be outlawed lol i have been shaky and headachy for the last two day after i ate the stuff 4 days running after easter lol . I gave up caffiene along time ago so now even choc makes me a bit funny when i stop eating it.

anywa i still havent read thourgh all the posts .. lol im lazy i know lol . but thwe kids are running havic inside and i am going to dress them and throw them outside lol.. cyas later

Amy: I completely know where u r coming from on the kid front my son is one and has been babysat 3 x all since he turned one. One time we went out to a movie, One time we went out to a work party my husbad had to attend (he is the boss) and the last time we were extremely sick with the flu and I couldn't stop puking so I allowed my mom to take him for the night....first night ever away from him and I hated it but I didn't want him to get what I had. Canadian idol has been a dream for a while but the first year I was gonna go I was pregnant the next year my son was to young....this year my husband and family all say I need to do this for me. I am not expecting to make it to top 100 and if I do its only 45 min drive from my house so I could still see my son when I am not in rehersal or filming. They also say if you make it past top 100 you don't have to live in the idol mansion you just have to attend all the tapings and rehersal. I figure if I don't go after my dream what is that teaching my son. My dad was offered a world tour opening for a famous band when my mom was pregnant with me she told him to go but since she had previous miscarriages he was afraid to leave. now he no longer plays music the band broke up. I wish he had followed his dream :)

Allergies are scary. My son is allergic to cigarette smoke and its scary how fast his face puffs up and eyes water I am glad its not a life threatening one. As for vaccines I have chosen not to vaccinate my son I have done a ton of research adn found out really scary stuff about vaccines. Also I got sick everytime I had a needle. Its a very controversal subject and I get attacked for it alot but its my choice about what I feel is best for me and my family. I know alot of children who had very bad reactions from vaccines anything from SIDS (not proven to be from vaccine but the dr thinks it was) to a disease where both my friends girls blood platlet level drops so low they almost die and if you even touch there arm they get bruises and thats proven to be from a vaccine.

wow I am talkative today

Irish
It does sound like a beautiful place. Hope you enjoy the cat a little at a time :) I hope you do well in all things you want for yourself.