It's Candice Swanepoel, I have a wee obsession with her and her amazing body. I swear she's like an athlete not just a model. I know most people generally frown on Victoria's Secret but I can't help but love them all.
I am a compulsive over-eater and today I over-ate big time. But I'm slowly managing to implement Beck. I did manage to eat a salad before I ate anything else at dinner so I was a little more full and I had less fries.
One thing I've learned from Beck: I will no longer let anyone else undermine my diet. If anyone else is going to make me gain weight, well that person is going to be me and no one else. It is my choice alone.
I got the Beck Diet Solution Weightloss Workbook in the mail today (I had the first book but was dying for the second as well) and I've never been more excited in my life. At the same time I'm feeling really discouraged because I feel like I have so far to go, and I might never get there. I have a lot of sabotaging thoughts. I know these things take time but I don't want to wait. I'm sure everyone feels like that.
I'm so afraid I'll always be 167 and nothing else. I'm so upset with myself for getting this heavy in the first place.
I haven't wanted to post, and at the same time I have known I have to post. Somewhere this month my being on plan just took a backseat again. I was steadily losing, fitting into a few things and then I started to mess up. First it didn't show and then up a pound. And another and another to a total of 4lbs higher from my hard won low. Now I am eating too much again over the weekend and again snacking on ridiculous stuff. I feel very sad to see myself so determined to blow it.
However, if I didn't come here I'd surely be much heavier and possibly sick with something.
So credit for coming back.
Foodwise ... One word: tracking. I just stop.doing that when I have blown it for the day. Bad thinking. Better thinking would have me create a plan of strategy for dealing with these fairly predictable challenges. I have been very emotional lately. I'm still not coping well without food in times of feeling both tired/worn out and sad. This is the best combo for.me to not just give in to extra food but to have me seek it out.
Back to the drawing board. I need to get excited about weghtloss. It happens when it feels good. These days I feel like a complete failure and every slipup reinforces the feeling of failing. Sabotaging thoughts. I must do what helps, what feels.good and I need,to set small achievable goals. Nothing succeeds like success. I need that in a big way.
Lost my earlier post when a previous web page opened about 25 windows and now I'm concerned about virus on work computer. An innocuous site, so not sure. Frustrated. Food today was ok...balanced unexpected free lunch of cheese pizza with turkey bacon blts tonight for dinner. I loaded mine with lettuce and tomato and DH called it a dagwood sandwich. I got a bit offended. It wasn't that big.
Credit for shifting the meals and rolling with the flow at volunteering gig...I didn't have transportation and then couldn't take an additional lunch period. Smoothie for breakfast. Credit for getting outside and mowing when I absolutely didn't want to after work. Sweltering. Didn't finish the back but got a lot done, as well as some trimming.
Plans set to celebrate dhs dad's birthday in a few weeks rather than this weekend so that gives me time to plan the menu better...
It has been an extremely busy week. I looked back and my last post was on the decluttering thread last Friday. Anticipating our family gatherings last Friday and Saturday I gave myself permission to be a little looser with food yet pledged to be mindful. I accomplished that. Credit. I had planned to have a "comfort food" kids dinner on Friday night to celebrate both DD and Granddaughter's BD. We had bacon (organic/humane/and a bit expensive), mac and cheese, organic tater tots, broccoli and salad. Credit for taking extra time to make my homemade mac/cheese even though I looked at several different choices for buying premade. After reading labels I couldn't justify the time saving purchase. We did have cake/icecream which I enjoyed in moderation. Saturday evening was dinner at the Latino side of the family. There were many scrumptious dishes which I enjoyed in moderation, too, although I did have an extra tamale. DH and I left before the cake and I resisted a strong urge to stop at WhFoods for a treat to take home, even though we drove right by.
Sunday AM I went to work even though I did not feel well. By afternoon it was apparent that I should find a sub for my Monday and possibly Tuesday. I did and am grateful for that. I have had a constant headache and very achy body. I was a bit clumsy and dizzy, too. Oh, well. I ate very sparingly yesterday and focused on rest. I will not work today, either, and am feeling a bit better.
I will try to catch up here, I have been reading posts every day, but have never gotten to be a "poster" from my phone.
Hmmm….my favorite places. Glenwood Hot Springs Pool, Grand Canyon and SFO. Nice they are all accessible to me.
Welcome, howyoulose! Great insight you have already learned that you wont let anyone else undermine your food choices! Kudos!
onebyone, great credit for getting back here! It's a great accomplishment to get back on track before regaining too much! Can you make yourself a definite plan for posting? I find the accountability is extremely helpful!
MaryAnn, thank you for sharing your anger/grief over the new book and it's impact on your family, especially your DS. I will join with the boycott.
Eusebius, glad things are calming down for you.
Gardenerjoy, I have learned a lot reading your new response cards, especially regarding taking a break.
Karenrn, have a great hike with Sierra Club! Portion control is such a reliable back up plan!
Diane1102, sorry to hear about the AC! Hope it gets fixed today!
Silverbirch, keep moving forward, and yes, I remember that "stuff*"
SuzLen, kudos for getting right back on track after Doritos. I find myself often removing foods that DH has left sitting out. It's very helpful for me to have them out of sight.
BBE, wow! You had me looking to see where else the Hokusai exhibit might travel. I couldn't find much info. I did gather this is a once in a lifetime tour! Kudos for good enough eating!
CeeJay, glad to hear you are on the healthy eating plan! Thx for dropping in!
Nationalparker, nice list of credits yesterday, especially mowing after work!
Curlyjax, sending you supportive thoughts! Best wishes as you investigate another job within your agency!
Love2garden, I love that I don't think about food when working in the yard! How is your friend w/medical problems doing?
Spanky, welcome back!
OK. I am back to bed. I slept almost all day yesterday and plan for more of the same today. I did find a book on tape to listen to since I didn't want to "read" with a headache. When I woke up at midnight I let the pups out, unloaded and reloaded dishwasher, opened mail and started a shredding project. I will finish the shredding today. I can find some ways to move forward even when not feeling well. Credit.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Dinner was going to be whatever I went to Whole Foods and brought home that could be eaten cold. Gardener DW had spent enough hours working in the sun that cooking dinner had no appeal. Fortunately, Whole Foods does sell a rich array of cold dinner items. My choices: cold citrus salmon, salmon in wild rice, ginger sauced sugar snaps, with water melon for dessert. An appreciated menu. Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi, with snack remaining larger that I want. Gonna work on that today.
Did gym, CREDIT moi, comfortable in the air conditioned space even as it was sweaty just to walk in and out of it. Walking in the heat had no appeal, although it had cooled down enough to be able to eat dinner on the patio.
onebyone – I thought of your astronaut paintings yesterday on the anniversary of the first lunar landing. Yep, Kudos for coming back and setting out to reorganize your thoughts.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – We do seem to use food as the excuse for so many other things. Kudos for recognizing that you want a break - not a snack.
Erika (eusebius) – Yay for subtitles. I've never thought that a real live human being was backstage working them - Duh!
Debbie (Lexxiss) – Ouch for the dizzy and out of sorts - hope it goes away with a little rest. [The Hokusai exhibit was put together from the archives of the Boston Museum of Fine Arts. It's hard to believe that they have that much stuff in the basement that we don't normally see.]
silverbirch – Why, Yes - I do happen to remember the nine feet of snow that we had last winter. Keep the faith, this too shall pass.
maryann - So good to be reminded that big food creates "recipes to make you crave not satiate." [Can't wait to make it to San Francisco. Picture myself enjoying the Asian Museum with pecans dribbling discretely from my lips, LOL.]
nationalparker – Yay for "a dagwood sandwich" - a warm childhood image for me. Kudos for working in the heat.
Karen (karenrn) - Staying in a Yurt is on my Bucket List - can't wait to hear how it goes. Have a nice hike to Kendrick Peak.
SuzLen - Yay for clothes that now fit. Ouch for Doritos - I have a hard time eating those in moderation when they appear in my life.
Diane (diane1102) - Good plan, "put it behind me and move on." Hope you live through the heat until your air-conditioner gets fixed.
howyoulose - Super Kudos for no longer eating the bad food at your work place - it's so easy to just grab what's handy. Congrats on your engagement. My only tip for getting the Beck strategies incorporated is to take them literally, i.e. Just DO It. Initially, I thought them all a bit simplistic. Well, maybe, but my brain seems to respond well to simple ideas. Neat that you already know that Cognitive Behavior Therapy works. Glad that you've joined us.
Readers -
Quote:
Day 41Make a New To-Do List
You've now learned the skills you need to continue losing weight and to keep it off. You just have to keep practicing these skills - over and over and over - especially after you've reached your goal weight. In fact, you'll use some of the techniques for your entire life. Doing so is the key to continued success. The reason you regained wight in the past is that you didn't have these strategies. Now, you do.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 261.
CREDIT for eating food that was OP, although I had written down what I was eating for breakfast and lunch, I had no idea what I was in the "mood" for for dinner. Ended up just having a healthy snack early and making dinner for the boys in my house and let them eat it. I am trying not to eat unless I am really hungry for food. A lot of time I just want to eat just for something to do, which really means I want, as gardenerjoy said, a break. I think I will attempt to use your response card and enjoy some herbal tea and a book.
BillBB: your dinner makes me crave a Whole Foods, the nearest one to me is over an hour away
Lexxis: how great you made a special evening for the kids, good memories. Hope you are feeling better soon.
nationalparker: mowing. A job I detest. I always felt that mowing in extreme heat should give me credit somewhere in the "lose weight" department.
onebyone: this is a journey, glad you are on the road.
howyoulose: welcome! Someone reminded me I didn't get to where I am in a day and won't get to where I want in a day. This is a long term commitment for a long and happy life. So glad you are here!
maryann: got my freezer yesterday, only needed a small one for frozen fruit and veggies. I LOVE bacon, and I love my pig. It makes me feel healthy knowing I have good, healthy meat in my freezer. I am trying to talk my sister into letting me have some of her beef, but she has seven kids and needs it all!
karenrn: once again you are an inspiration. I was in Flagstaff about two weeks ago. Windy! Hope you have a great trip.
diane1102: dessert struggles are real You can always get back on track, good for you!
Hope to organize some closets or rooms today. I want to feel organized at home before school starts!
I never made a food plan yesterday. Eating was just okay. It was always going to be a challenging day both for a plan and for food, so I'm going to consider it good enough.
We took a nephew and niece-in-law to the Missouri Botanical Garden for the Lantern Festival on "photographer's night." With a much-reduced crowd and permission to use tri-pods and mono-pods, we were able to get some great views of the huge Chinese lanterns on display. I'll try to remember to post a photo tomorrow after I process them.
I'm startled how wiped out I am this morning. It's a whole different way of using muscles to be on my feet for two hours without actually walking very much. It's no wonder I'm always so exhausted when I travel. I want to find a way to do something like this once a week from now until our next trip to get in better shape for it.
I also want to be very careful with my food plan today because being wiped out is a very dangerous space for me. Step 1: read my advantages and responses (CREDIT!). Step 2: write a food plan (CREDIT!). Step 3: post here (CREDIT!).
Here's a good response card for today:
Quote:
I learned from Hunger Experiment 2 that I have more energy when I eat less. The sabotaging thought "I need to eat something for energy" is a lie -- one I picked up from food ads.
WI: +0.15 kg, Exercise: +35 835/1300 minutes for July, Food: NA op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Welcome, howyoulose! Best wishes on your engagement. You're off to a great start with Beck.
I spent much of yesterday exploring Tahoe City by foot. Beautiful. I was able to sleep through the night. It is a big deal that I didn't have to wake for a pain pill. I am going to try to wear myself out myself out with exercise (it doesn't take much since I have been bed ridden now for awhile) as I try to wean off the meds. Plan for today is a mountain bike ride and an evening walk as I head back to the flatlands this afternoon. I have another PT appt. My progress is slow. I can't believe I have been suffering with the pinched nerve for nearly two months.
Food is in MFP. I have had some success leaving 400 calories free for impromptu decisions. I know this isn't recommended by Beck but I was failing completely trying to stick 100% to plan.
Food heavier than I'm needing so far today and aiming to balance that with a large salad and light entree tonight. I'd prefer to go just larger salad and skip entree but add protein to the salad, but it's honestly easier to not get the 101 questions from DH. In hindsight, I realize just having my fruit in the morning with breakfast instead of later doesn't make it more calories, just more all at once ... same with lunch. Ran home and ate more than I needed to. HUNGER IS NOT AN EMERGENCY! I can get hungry this evening before DH gets home and that's okay. I'm subconsciously thinking that lunch at 12:30 and dinner not until 8:30 is a disaster and I need to get over that.
SuzLen - I, too, believe that mowing in the heat should result in a visible scale drop, yet it invariably involves a minor rise due to fluid retention. Phooey!
Bill - VERY impressed at you being proactive to plan a chilled dinner on a hot, busy day for DW. Cool!
Lexxiss - Take care of yourself - wise to recognize the feeling that you needed to take a break to recuperate. How you manage all that you do continues to impress me!
If tempted to eat more this evening before DH gets home from work, I'll make a conscious effort to get back here and finish personals. Back to work!
How did you discover the books by Dr. Judith Beck?
And how did you find our forum here on 3 Fat Chicks?
Actually I bought the first book a very, very long time ago. Didn't really go through it and it's been sitting on my shelf. About a week ago I was re-organizing and I just sort of picked it up because I'm at the very end of my rope with my weight.
I was googling the Beck Diet Solution and I came across 3FC somehow, funny how that happens. Thank you!
And everyone else thank you so much. Everyone here is so wonderful.
Evening is wrapping up miserably - DH to bed w/o a word. I'm irritated and the more I think about it, more aggravated as time passes. This will guarantee a frustrating night for me, but will take a benadryl and at least fall to sleep at some point. We'll see how this shakes out. Especially irritated bc he ate a large serving of a gorgeous strawberry shortcake that I made for dessert with fresh berries, etc., and then not a dang word. Humpf.
Still feeling down. Still tired. I have been wondering if this is grief. Maybe. The thought that a month from now I may be at SIL getting my brother's desk, Art supplies and art books is overwhelming me tonight. I thought once my sister got her stuff (they did that last week) I could move on cause she wouldn't talk to me about it anymore. Now she feels we should "end it with the SIL properly" with a visit, a nice dinner together, and me getting the last of my brother's possessions before she, once again, lists the house for sale.
It feels painful. But feelings change. It's a great opportunity for me to not eat over my feelings.
I did OK on this tonight with only an excursion I to the land of too much summer fruit.
I'll take that over the things in bags any day.
Wednesday - 2nd Birthday Prince George Middleton Mountbatten-Windsor Wales Cambridge
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walk, CREDIT moi, in the heat with a cool stop at Trader Joe's to pick up stuff. I dawdled longer than necessary choosing that my wet shirt became cold on my back verses being hot again outside. Blueberries were more expensive than the ones that DW purchased the day before at Whole Foods which gave me great pleasure as we continue our too-many blueberries phase.
Lunch was my trusted peanut butter, pecans, and banana on toasted whole wheat sandwich thins with carrots and Red Bell Pepper to wash it down. Snacks were under control because I've mostly eaten all the out of bounds stuff that was lying about. I do best avoiding snacks that aren't there. (Sorry George - the title space above didn't have room for Alexander Louis.)
onebyone – Kudos for acknowledging that grieving continues for a long time.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – I've never encountered the thought that standing uses different muscles than walking.
maryann - Two months is a long time to be suffering from a pinched nerve. Kudos for continuing to seek ways to work through it. (I laugh every time I see your CookieMonster avatar.)
nationalparker – It's a big deal to face down the actual situation, "I can get hungry this evening before DH gets home and that's okay."
SuzLen - Kudos for being able to skip dinner just because you weren't "really hungry for food." Wish that was a natural part of my life.
Diane (diane1102) - Yay for air-conditioning when that's what's needed for sanity.
howyoulose - Neat that you left the Beck book on your shelves to be found when you needed it.
Readers -
Quote:
Day 41Make a New To-Do List
Do these activities daily:
Eat a healthful diet with limited calories.
Think about what you're eating before you actually put it in your mouth.
Sit down before you eat and then eat slowly and mindfully.
Eat only to mild fullness.
Monitor your eating throughout the day.
Give yourself credit.
Do spontaneous exercise.
Respond to sabotaging thoughts.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 261.
Tough
Welcome howyoulose
You can always get back on track, good for you!
