Spanky and IBelieveInMe- I'm joining you with getting back on track tomorrow. I'm counting on you to join me and I'll not feel like I'm the one person struggling to get back again. Actually getting back on track tonight ... so will wake up already on track Better note in the morning. Hopefully a better outlook. And a better outcome with the rest of the day. Already have had work issues this afternoon/evening so tomorrow will be a humdinger.
spanky, nationalparker, IBelieveInMe2, you're all saying the things that I send most of the second half of last year. And for the last 2-3 months of last year, I told myself I was actually going to find a professional to talk to to help me figure out why I wasn't making the changes I knew I needed to make. I didn't know why I was eating junk when I knew my blood sugar and cholesterol were at dangerous levels.
What actually got through to me the most was a urologist who I was seeing to make sure my UTIs weren't because of something sinister (they weren't). However, he talked to me, seriously and professionally, about being 50 and the need to make changes before more permanent damage was done.
I don't know why he was the straw that finally broke the camel's back and got through to me--it's not as if other doctors hadn't tried. Somehow, though, when our New Year's house party was over, I was ready to start making changes. There was a 'click' there--and I was never able to identify why I wasn't trying before. I'm made the switch to being able to follow through and be successful, but can't share how that happened--I don't completely know.
I do know that I started with small, measurable changes. I am going to track everything I eat, walk 20 minutes 3x/week with DH, and never eat treats before dinner. My intent was to concentrate on things I could control. Then I added Beck into the equation and added in "post every day and never miss two in a row" and "eat slowly sitting down" and "plan". I think the planning was the big thing that has made this attempt successful for me.
I don't know if any of that rambling helped, but I rambled it.
As for me today, I've been OP. We ended up at Ruby Tuesday for dinner and I used their FT labels to help me select a healthy OP entree. I had the salad bar but selected only veggies--I didn't have cheese or meat or egg since I was having chicken for dinner and didn't need more protein. I did have 3 of their little biscuits. DH wanted one more and asked the waiter for it and I said only to bring one, but he brought two. DH took one off the plate and I made the waiter take the other one away. I'm sure he thought he was being crazy, but bread is my weakness--and I didn't want there to be another one on the table to tempt me.
I left chicken and even some delicious grilled zucchini uneaten--I was full and stopped. Credit for that.
We went grocery shopping--that was too much for my foot but I'm better and faster than DH. He drove and did the carrying and loading and unloading. That should cover us for another week, though, and he really hates grocery shopping. (It takes me an hour and a half to do what I can do in half an hour)
I go back to work tomorrow. My next door neighbor works very close to where I do and is giving me a ride in. I'm sure the county transportation service to get home, when timing is less important. Going back to work will not be a highlight, but it's time!
BelieveInMe2: I totally identify with the feelings of sick and tired of being heavy. I was over 200 pounds for a long time. My support statment for you is "If I can do it, anyone can do it." I was so obsessed with food ( eating it and not eating it) that I was letting life pass me by. There is a solution with Beck. The only requirement is to not leave, keep posting, keep being honest, keeping working the daily skills to the best of your ability. You will find peace.
nationalparker and Spanky: I think that sometimes what I repeatedly blow my food plan I am sub consciously asking myself for compassion for my own frailties. I am so hard on myself, that my healthy self says, "Get off my back. I am going to overeat until you love me unconditionally." Defiance is certainly present in any relationship, even the I have with myself. With my students, I know if I extend love and compassion instead of rigidity and condemnation, they are more likely to change their behavior.
As for me, I am completely amazed and grateful to be at a work conference and NOT eat sugar. I had a delish salmon spinach salad and let the idea of dessert go. I allowed myself to grieve once again over the loss of my best friend sugar and then said, "Oh well." Read my advantage cards.
Diet Coaches/Buddies It was a day of doing things without much time to just contemplate some glorious sunshine. DW and I had scheduled dinner for ourselves at an upscale place - we seldom go to dinner alone these days. Enjoyed that pain of having at least four must-have options to choose between. This restaurant delivered flavors that we'd never duplicate at home, sorta justified their prices. I'm usually good with the bread basket, but this place had a spiced bread and olive oil that I choose to have - it was worth it, no regrets. But I'll need a lean day to compensate.
Got in just a short walk, CREDIT moi, before dinner in anticipation of the volume of calories looming.
Joy (gardenerjoy) I, too, am finding that the sharp edge that I held during my losing phase is dulled. On the weekend that I started my journey seven years ago, we took the kids to a French restaurant where I ate entirely on-plan - not a bite more - with ease. I miss that ease.
Debbie (Lexxiss) Monarch butterflies on an IMAX screen boggles my mind. Our Museum of Science has IMAX so I'll watch for that.
Beverlyjoy Yay for a monster exercise day digging for your Plant Swap.
maryann - Kudos for using "Oh Well" to sugar in the way that Beck uses that phrase.
spanky - LOL at taping your food plan to yourself. With your humor intact, your Mojo will follow. Kudos for being aware that you have to work to make it happen. Yep, just do it, Must. Start. Over. Now. And LMAO at "Single kudo," I thought Kudos were like scissors - no singular.
nationalparker Oh Yes, "Actually getting back on track tonight" - so you're already there in the morning - Kudos for that.
Beth (bethFromDayton) Kudos for sending back that Ruby Tuesdays biscuit. And also for stopping when full and leaving food on your plate at a restaurant. Welcome 'click' however it arrives.
Readers -
Quote:
chapter 5 Get Ready: Lay the Groundwork
day 1 Record the Advantages of Losing Weight
Motivate Yourself to Read Your Advantages Response Card
There might be times when that little voice in your head says, You don't have to read your card ... Everything is under control. This is just another example of sabotaging thoughts getting in your way. You might even need a card to encourage you to read your Advantages Response Card, such as:
I need to read my Advantages Response Card at
least twice a day if I want to resist temptation.
It'll take only a few seconds. It's not a big deal.
I might not need it psychologically today, but I'll
need it soon. I have to cement these reasons in my
mind for when the going gets tough.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 60.
Back on track. Phew. How can my mind take, basically, one day of too many snacks, one day on the road with eating too many calories, and one day with one meal over, and translate that into "complete failure" ... I needed to look back and say, I will not be gaining three or five or whatever pounds from that. I've done well for nearly five months, and a few poorer choices are not dooming me.
Work computer issues went unresolved for hours yesterday, so a major pileup of work for this morning for our whole department, so back at it.
Has anyone created an anti-ARC? I'm thinking of listing what will continue to be true at the weight I currently am. I tend to be more of a positive thinker--but perhaps it might be of use to think of the ARC as "<This> is true now. When I lose weight, <this better thing> will be true instead."
I super-sized a snack yesterday, but otherwise followed my plan -- that's definitely credit-worthy for me right now. I also took steps to improve a frustrated mood. My mood improved and my method didn't include eating. I listened to my "cheering up" playlist (http://open.spotify.com/user/joywees...U3eiykkioCsS6Z) while doing the things that needed to be done. And, then, I watched a silly made-for-TV movie targeted to 13 year old girls (The Princess Protection Program) while I exercised. That didn't put me on track for my monthly exercise goal but was a big improvement after several days of zero exercise last week. So credit for searching out mood booster that wasn't food-related and for 70 minutes of exercise.
I started snacking Saturday night then went totally OFFplan yesterday. (I did track. Credit. As well as I could estimate since measuring was also kicked to the curb.) I feel self-angry, -disgusted, shameful.... STOOPID. I had trouble sleeping last night because it was like, "How can I possibly post on Beck? They'll think I'm an idiot. I know! I won't mention it! I won't reveal what an idiot I am. Oh wait. That's REALLY being an idiot--trying not to look bad to virtual friends rather than seeking the help that will ultimately make me look good everywhere." OMG... These are all irrational, untrue thoughts. (Why does lying--whether to myself or others--come so naturally with food-related issues, but something I would never consider in other areas of my life?)
Anyway, I had worked through all that with the Truth. "Everyone in this group has dealt with this, understands, and is not going to judge. They will help and support. And even if they don't, I don't accomplish anything trying to hide." And "Oh well." "Get back on track NOW." "How would you talk to your best friend?" "I can do this. As long as I never give up."
Then when I read IBelieveinMe2, NationalParker, & Spanky's posts (and despite how much misery loves its proverbial company, I am truly sorry y'all are dealing with this too)--I knew I wasn't alone. And then everyone's compassionate responses to them. So... thank you, everyone.
I gained a pound. I think that's part of what set it off. I've worked so hard with both OP eating & exercise, and I gained a freakin' pound. I know it's just a number. And to give in or work less hard isn't going to make it better. And I have to look at the bigger picture: I've lost 10 pounds since Dec. (Not nearly what I thought I'd lose by now--but still... 10 pounds less.) My clothes fit better. Even my body comp (fat/muscle %) & measurements, which I have only kept for the last 4 weeks, keep improving.
On a sunnier note: , spring is here! When I wogged Emma this morning, it took almost no time to put on shorts, a t-shirt, and running shoes (versus 8 layers of winter Gortex). and SUNGLASSES!
Maryann - Yea yoga & your trip to Tahoe. I used to go there occasionally when I lived in Sacramento, and it is so beautiful. I hope you have a wonderful time. Thank you for any number of things: * "Anything is possible." ** The emotional and universal nature of music and your experience with the violinist. ***Your loving and compassionate post to those of us who are struggling.
NationalParker - Thanks for your kind thoughts about my friend Susan. I'm so glad your dear friend is doing well. Thanks for leading the charge on getting back ON TRACK! I hope your day at work is a humdinger in only the best possible context.
IBelievein Me2 - We just have to keep persisting. (I'm so glad Steak & Shake left Madison. That is just way more temptation than my willpower dust can overcome right now.)
BillBE - The "rhymable" was about my reference to that day being "the pits"--and other descriptives would rhyme with that. I thought of you a number of times on the wog this a.m. As Ms. Em & I were heading for the street, a male cardinal & several robins were frolicking in the yard. And I wore my Red Sox bb cap & "Runners for Boston" t-shirt. Great statement: "Gym is more fun when you know someone there." Isn't that true of almost everything--and what brings us all to this sacred space?
BeverlyJoy - I hope you're able to have a fine visit with your DS soon. Yea for mostly OP and only 1 slice of pizza!
bethfromDayton - So fantastic to hear about your increasing mobility! How is it being back at work? Yea on the garlic bread resistance! Great job! Loved the reference to Alexander's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. That was one of DD's favorite books when she was little. (Maybe it still is!) My deep condolences on the loss of your friend who was such a friend to so many.
Spanky - My fellow traveler, struggler, and dog walker: BIG kudoS (plural) for walking the dogs. You made the world better for them and for yourself.
Rosebud - Boy, when you come out of a slump, you start batting .900! Congrats on the 21# lost! Thanks for your very kind comments about the video.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Wow, you posted from your iPhone. THAT is dedication & most impressive--particularly to someone like me who has incredibly fat & uncoordinated thumbs for those tiny keyboards.
Gardenerjoy - Loved reading about your mood boosters! What a treat, even to experience vicariously. Congrats on the 70 minutes of exercise!
Well, back again! Feel off the wagon, clambering back on. I'm not going to be too excessive in my self resentment and frustration because I don't feel like it'll be productive for me in the end.
I pulled out my dust old ARC today, shined it and polished it and placed it front and center in my thinking and life.
And tomorrow I will take step 2, and then I will take step 3 and slowly but surely I will climb this mountain. And if I fall off again, I will grapple back to where I was more quickly then before.
OK. I am on plan today and even have some calories left over.
My ARC list still reads like the phone book, but I'm focusing on how truly AWFUL it feels to have this roll around my midsection. It's really the only place I keep my fat--right there in my lap.That feeling is the essence of my reason for doing this. How tight it makes my scrubs pants feel. How it jiggles, etc....grooving on it so I at least have some real feeling behind my reason. So I'm not reading the card today, I'm pinching my inch (or two) to remind myself of why I didn't eat the fresh box of donuts the secretary left us.
I have a co-worker who is my age and has The Perfect Midsection. I WANT that, dangitt.
Everybody here on this group who's struggling, hang on. Keep doing stuff. And thanks to those doing the coaching and encouraging!!
Hi Coaches!
My life in general continues to be challenging yet I'm hanging in there primarily because I'm willing to find the time to keep planning. credit. I continue to resist many foods at work which is good since I seem to be spending lots of time there. I have decided, however, that I am going to be less available for filling in since I have heard that the hostess is wanting to come back for 3 days and the owner "hasn't decided". I guess it's my line in the sand. I'm interested in having my life back.
BillBlueEyes, yay for an unusual treat with no regrets AND self knowledge of a lean day to compensate.
veganasaurous, welcome back!
spanky, yay for OP especially while resisting donuts.
Liz(agna), yay for getting back on track sooner vs later! PS-I really enjoyed your video...was just in my whirlwind and wasn't able to relay that message to you.
gardenerjoy, thanks for sharing your playlist .many songs I enjoy, too! Yay for persistence getting back in your groove.
Beth(from Dayton), I don't have any anti-ARC's but would encourage you to give it a try..
nationalparker, kudos for reevaluating your one "off day" and finding a gentler and more realistic self analysis.
IBelieveInMe2, yay for getting right back on plan after your late night stop. I continue to send supportive thoughts. Just a thought...do you find your craving levels go up and down with your sugar consumption? I never realized just how much sugar affected my continuous cravings until I gave it up and experienced life on the "other side". The continual physical cravings for food went away...now I just deal with the emotional reasons I eat.
Rosebud, yay for joining the YMCA! Your family day sounded really fun!
Beverlyjoy, your food choices during your "plant day" sounded very sane even though you had a diversion from plan. credit.
onebyone, kudos for sticking with your plan and continuing to move down the scale.
maryann, thanks for an insightful post and the reminder of finding peace in abstinance from overeating.
to anyone I've missed and a shout out to LuLu...wondering where you are in your countdown?
Hi folks... Yesterday (Sunday) went well. I kept track and planned my food. Lots of water. Exercises. Always left a bite.
I ended up needing to take an nsaid on Sunday & today. Lots of gardeningsoreness. This medicine makes me retain water. Phooey.
Tomorrow (Tuesday) I go see the dietician.
Today I had some friends come over for a visit. We made it a 'brown bag lunch'. ie... everyone brought their own lunch. One friend doesn't have a TV. So we watched several episodes of House Hunters International. Fun. I had made some "Mussgo soup". It's all the veggies from the fridge and freezer that 'must go'. I added all the veggies to a can of reduced sodium broth, oregano and no salt added canned roasted tomatoes. I added a couple ounces of chicken and a some parm cheese. It made a tasty healthy lunch. Credit!
I hope you are all doing well. I must start psyching myself for spending time with my GS - which involves being out of my 'food comfort
Talk to you later. You all take care now.
Last edited by Beverlyjoy; 04-29-2013 at 10:07 PM.
My first day back at work was uneventful and eating was OP, even if the scale was up a little.
I've got tomorrow all planned out (credit) and need to change tomorrow's dinner, since DS called and said he'd be here for dinner and the menu I'd planned was based on a meal for two. Since DS is leaving for LA for the summer on Wednesday, I definitely want to see him! So, I'll be thinking about a different plan for dinner that involves feeding 3 or 4 (I'm not sure what DD's plans are). But at least I planned it--and breakfast and lunch don't need to change.
Today was a much better day for me. I did snack too much this evening, but then I got in a 40 minute workout which felt great. I really was not feeling in the mood to exercise, so I am proud of myself for doing it! CREDIT!
Thank you for all of the suggestions and ideas and support many of you gave me yesterday and today. It truly makes a difference to me, so please keep it comin'!
Lexxiss: I will have to explore that relationship with sugar and cravings. I try to avoid too much sugar, but don't always check the sugar grams, so I will be more vigilant to see if there is a connection. I really think my overeating is mostly emotional/addictive, though. There are so many times I find myself looking for food when I know darn well I couldn't possible be truly hungry. Sometimes, I am able to recognize what's going on and stop it, and other times I give in just because I want to eat. I need to remember to strengthen my resistance muscle! Lately, a little voice in my head has gone off when I know I am reaching for food but not truly hungry. I have been focusing on this fact: If I am going to get a different result, I HAVE to make changes in my behavior. That is the little voice I have been hearing. It has been helpful.
spanky: Way to get back on plan!!! I am doing a happy dance for you!
nationalparker: "Back on track" feels good, doesn't it? CREDIT to you for hanging in there!
Liz: I am so sorry to hear that you went off track and feel ashamed and "stoopid." You are NOT an idiot!!! You are HUMAN!!! It was bound to happen sooner or later, which is why you have kept up with your Beck principles..... to be prepared for just this situation. Read and reread your ARCs and jump right back on the wagon. We are all pulling for you!!!
Beverlyjoy: Good luck with the dietician! Let us know what happens. Try not to be nervous. She is there to help you!
Beth: Thank you for sharing your experience with something finally "clicking." It gives me hope. It happened to me one other time and I don't know exactly what made things click for me then, but I am at the same weight and just refused to go higher. So I am anxiously awaiting another "click!" An uneventful day back at work and OP eating sounds just fine to me! How is your foot?
veganasaurusrex: Welcome back! Sounds like your mind is in the right place to begin again. CREDIT for coming back and posting!
BillBlueEyes: Your dinner alone with DW sounds wonderful..... even the bread! And "no regrets" sounds even better!
maryann: Thank you for your support! I sooooo want to be in ONEderland again!!!
gardenerjoy: Way to go on boosting your mood without eating! Big CREDIT to you!
Hi Coaches,
Dd and I just went to the Y for aerobics and, for her, to do free swim. It was fun and a great workout..credit. I handled seeing a former student while in my swimsuit quite well too..<cringes>.... Eating was OP and I am stopping eating after 7 pm...credit.
I am so proud of those of you that are posting even when it is hard to do so because you are not in your Beck groove at the moment. That is hard to do but just as important as posting at any other time. Big credits to all of you for that!
Our Healthywage team has lost 82 lbs so far!! It is a lot of fun and a great support too. I don't expect to win but it is quite motivating to watch our team move up the ranks at times. Credit..
Better note in the morning. Hopefully a better outlook. And a better outcome with the rest of the day. Already have had work issues this afternoon/evening so tomorrow will be a humdinger.
Monday - Japanese Greenery Day
Dadrattit!
, spring is here! When I wogged Emma this morning, it took almost no time to put on shorts, a t-shirt, and running shoes (versus 8 layers of winter Gortex). and SUNGLASSES! 
to anyone I've missed and a shout out to LuLu...wondering where you are in your countdown?
better day
