I really planned and planned, foodwise, for this Thanksgiving. Many of you were part of helping me figure it out and reinforce my ideas. I am thankful for all of your input, etc.
I thought I had it figured out, planned alot, gave it alot of thought, had the tools, could face the food with reserve, had healthy alternatives and more.
And still, I could not get through the four days without bingeing. I just didn't have the willingness, I guess.
I am beginning to think that it's been 48 years of horrible horrible unhealthy eating (started at age 12 for me). Maybe it's too ingrained in who I am. I feel like I can never have any long term real food sanity. Do I need to have a heart attack or stroke??? I've 'tried again' a hundred times or more. I am feeling like it's just too late.
I am feeling guilty that now 33 year old son has food issues. He is gaining weight steadily. I was never a good role model for him.
I don't know if it can ever happen for me.
I guess I will try again...
Last edited by Beverlyjoy; 11-26-2012 at 03:20 PM.
Love love love this.... There are ways to feed the soul without feeding the mouth.
Quote:
November 26, 2012 - Monday Motivation
The holiday season is upon us! This year, think about all the ways in which you can experience the spirit and joy of the holidays that have nothing to do with eating. Remember, there are many ways to feed your soul without feeding your mouth.
Credit today for tracking what I've eaten and being on plan. Didn't do it over the holiday and I'm paying the price now. Holiday week damage was +1.5.
Food all planned for today. Yesterday OP. Feeling more positive. Thank you for support.
Beverlyjoy--I do know just how you feel. On bad days I think I just can't do it, or don't want to do it. But I keep coming back and so do you. Look how far you've come! It doesn't matter if it takes a long time to get there, what matters is that we keep going. Or so I think!
Feeling good, feeling positive. I'm making mistakes daily but I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. I keep telling myself that I'm trying to be better, not trying to be perfect.
I "posted" earlier and returned now (just before work) to find my internet had timed out...losing my post. I reported weighing, food plan and some ouches from yesterday....and kind words for Beverlyjoy, which I will try to formulate again later.
Credit for a food plan for the second day in a row. Credit for an exercise plan taking into account that afternoon and evening plans mean that I have to do it early or it won't get done.
WI: -0.05 kgs, Exercise: +50 1265/1600 minutes for November, Food: 90% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Beverlyjoy: It sounds like you did much better than in years past -- take credit for each of those successes!
I reached my goal weight and I still have the occasional off-the-wall relapse. I think you're right that we're never cured. But that doesn't mean that we can't improve -- have more good days this month than last month, have more good months this year than last year, and try new things to see what else might help. Progress not perfection. Even thin people overeat once in a while.
Hi Beckies/coaches/friends - as I said above, despite my planning and thinking I was ready to face the food laced four day weekend with family and freinds... I wasn't able to stay with my plan. I had a very broken spirit - thinking sanity with food could never 'happen' for me. I posted about it here and another forum, too. Thankfully, you all and other folks have been so kind and helpful to me and helped me to forgive myself, put it in perspective, and to - hopefully - get back on my plan.
Thus, I have planned for a good, healthy day. And, am hoping to get through it. I've written down a plan.
teachme, gardenerjoy, lexxis... thanks so much.
Thanks to you all.
Last edited by Beverlyjoy; 11-27-2012 at 01:42 PM.
For Beverlyjoy and all the rest of us............ A timely tip of the day.
Quote:
November 27, 2012 - Tuesday Reality Check
There is NOTHING magical about losing weight and/or maintaining your weight – no one perfect combination of foods that will enable immediate and permanent weight loss, no magic bullet pill or patch. Once dieters accept this and stop looking for a quick fix, it allows them to just do what they need to do - exercise and eat in a consistent and healthy way.
Yesterday's calories were under 1200. That made for a happy scale reading this morning. I'm now only .5 above the low pre-holiday #. Here's hoping (no planning!!) to keep the calories low again and see that extra .5 gone again. Credit for the happy scales this morning.
*credit* weighed this morning at 252. I am stable at 252 now which is a miracle. But I have *been* 252 since... April? Good and bad. I am unwilling to call 252 my goal weight so I am doing what worked for me before and returning to my Weight Watchers meeting on Thursday. Time to re-focus.
I had a dermatology appt yesteday which went well, but like most things these days it just served to me off. Appt took 5 months to get it. Took 5 min for it to be over. This was some high-end cosmetic surgery place and I felt like I was rushed through since I wasn't in the market for any pricey procedures. I'm projecting though, I know. I *am* very grateful there is nothing wrong with me skin-wise.
I'm still experiencing a hangover from last week's trip to my mother's. My local siblings are not calling or visiting. My mother senses this and talks about it. Given her memory I can't know who is doing what if anything. Staff there have not run into my siblings and also assume they are absent from her life. I arranged to give her cat away to my good friends. Cat has a great home. My mom is now feeling the loss of the cat who I think did its most good for her in the middle of the night. Now there is only the tv. We were asked to declutter her room as she is hoarding food (of course) and my sister did that while I took my mom out and she was furious at the world. She was so angry I was leaving and my sister would be leaving and she would be alone. We were told "good" news that they believe she does not have alzheimer's as she would have deterioriated by now and has been stable for 1.5 years. She, however, is stuck knowing she used to be better at stuff and she can't do what she did before. The director used the term "pleasantly confused" for my mom. We were told that the corporate powers wanted to move her to a locked facility. The staff/head nurse protested she didn't belong there. We just heard about this and about the downturn in the care levels due to corporate policy changes (maximize profit). Caring long-term staff are depressed and putting resumes out to other places. my sister and I discussed the possibility of moving my mom to here where I live. How would I feel about this? she asked me. I am a mess. I don't know. I feel overly-responsible and this was a role I was raised to do that I worked very very hard to break from. My mum didn't even raise me... and yet.
Foodwise I'm still ok. But I need that WW reinforcement. I need my studio time which is coming. I need my contact here. Thanks for listening.
beverlyjoy I see that your ticker states you were 271 and are now 215. I don't think this happened "by accident" Four days of a food onslaught would test anyone. And I'll bet everyone was enjoying that food too right? I say put it behind you and move forward. Credit for posting here and for sharing what is a normal event for those of us who share this problem. What is special about us though is we DON'T stay in the mess, we clean it up and get us out of it, as you are doing. There is nothing wrong with you, nothing missing, nothing broken. I have overeaten since the age of 8, 41 years now. Think of all the experience we have with this? That's got to be worth something. At the very least it speaks of our personal willpower to keep trying to get this weight thing figured out. People like us don't give up and so we will get there.
Still here, plowing along every day. Weight stays within a 2 pound range and I'm happy with that for now. Work is very busy, about halfway through event season. Watching what I eat but not tracking anything. Exercise is walking the dogs, and yes that is now plural. We adopted another rescue puppy 10 days ago for a buddy for Dexter. Dexter is now 8 months old and 72 pounds, his new side kick is Masuka, he's 27 pounds and appears to be a shepherd/border collie cross. We are hoping he tops out at 50 pounds as his feet are much smaller than Dex's were at that age. Watching them play together is fun and then they sleep in their beds side by side at night. And some nights we all get to sleep through
I see some new names on the board and some very familiar ones. Hope all is well with everyone and I'll try to get back soon
Diet Coaches/Buddies – It's good to be back. I had five major evening meals in a row starting with Thanksgiving - all with family and/or friends. I did remarkably well at Thanksgiving, very well at a family wedding reception (CREDIT moi), and only so-so at the last big meal at P.F. Changs where some food pushing from well-meaning relatives was going on. I was never stuffed, but did go over my plan when facing meals with NO salad and few veggies. I've had my protein quota for the rest of the year, LOL.
Walking with crutches is improving rapidly. I walked the entire three miles of the Miami Zoo without slowing down the group, CREDIT moi. They offered wheelchairs, electric carts, and wonderful pedal buggies large enough for four adults and two kids. But I decided to test my locomotion and strive for some sort of exercise.
onebyone – Congrats for having your skin in good shape - Ouch for a medical system with poor bedside manner. Sending supportive thoughts for all the emotions of dealing with your mother and your siblings. Yay for upcoming studio time.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yay for surviving the family gathering. Family is so good at pushing old buttons. I can survive with "reasonable if not stellar" - if I accept it and move forward.
Debbie (Lexxiss) – It's sobering to be reminded that we aren't that noticed by others, per, "no one even noticed that we did not jump up and take dinner plates to stack with food." I need that reminder when I have the urge to satisfy a food pusher.
Nature Girl – LOL at "but the [pecan] pie and I could not be alone in the same house without supervision." Fortunately, among the goodies I've faced for five days, pecan pie wasn't there.
Beverlyjoy – Yay for the family visit, and Kudos for "I am back on plan today."
Tazzy - Welcome Masuka - it's nice to have someone on board who'se gaining weight and proud of it. Dog walking is the greatest exercise.
TeachMe - Congrats on those lost 1.5 pounds. Sending supportive thoughts as you face your DH's surgery.
HaleyJu - Yep, "sampling the sweets" is the kind of thing that can keep going throughout the entire eating season. Good that you've identified it early on.
Wannabeskinny – This seems so important to me, "but I'm trying not to beat myself up about it."
Chickbury – Kudos for "triumphed on Thanksgiving." Ouch for hip surgery - hope you're recovering. I found that one of the unexpected difficulties of being on crutches has been people trying to help when I only need to be left alone - I'm going slowly because that's the speed that's safe for me. I almost killed myself when I turned around to push open a door with my back and a helpful person ran over and unexpectedly opened the door - I pushed into the open space. Thankfully, didn't fall but it's made me more wary. LOL at "Turkey Day penance."
Readers -
Quote:
chapter 1 The Key to Success
The Power of Cognitive Therapy
The Beck Diet Solution is based on the principles of Cognitive Therapy (also known as Cognitive Behavior Therapy, or CBT), the most highly researched and effective form of talk therapy in the world. My father, Aaron T. Beck, M.D., spurred a revolution in the field of mental health when, in the late 1950s and early 1960s, his research challenged the theories of Sigmund Freud. Freud and his followers believed that depression and other types of mental illness stemmed from a patient's repressed fears and conflicts, and they kept patients in daily psychoanalytic sessions over a period of years.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 19.
I weighed this morning, enjoyed my morning smoothie and packed two lunches so I won't have to do it again tomorrow. Work today then a trip to Denver to visit my pup's cardiologist. A check up with some concerns and a drain of the pocketbook. credit for taking care of responsibilities....which I DO recognize affects my food choices, especially the "should have" taken care of it when facing repercussions down the road.
"He has a cough...I will take him to the expensive Dr because HE is my responsibility then will follow her direction. That is the best I can do for my family today."
Welcome back, BBE and great to hear from Tazzy (and new pup)! Thx HaleyJu for continuing tips of the day, yay Beverlyjoy for facing your new day and hugs to onebyone as you deal with family matters while maintaining your lower weight! Yay gardenerjoy for two days written and to Wannabeskinny for a positive attitude to keep moving forward. TeachMe..kudos for positive steps during a stressful time.
everyone else! Yay for continued successes on our Beck path!
Hi folks/beckies/coaches - yesterday was a much better day - I stayed with my plan until bedtime. I have a running nose & post nasal drip. I had a couple of lemon drops. Bad idea... just triggered other unhealthy eating. Thus, the lemon drops are in the trash covered with dishsoap. Credit.
Wednesday is my 'official' ticker day. Today the scale says that I stayed the same as last Wednesday. I guess I 'undid' the damage of overeating during the long Thanksgiving family-athon (and eat-athon). I am so, so grateful for that.
I did write down my food, ate a little slower and drank lots of water. Credit and grateful for the willingness to try.
Today I am off to get some more healthy food in the house, meetings for storytelling, and an appointment. I've planned my food and got out my journal.
lexxiss - Credit for making two lunches... you are ahead of the game, for sure.!!!
billbe - glad you had a good trip. Wow... you did zoo on crutches!! Major credit and major exercise. I find that Chinese food is sometimes tough to work around. Glad you did mostly great!
Hi Tazzy = so glad you posted. Awesome to stay with your weight a pound or two. Credit!!
onebyone - yes, often maintaining and staying stable at a weight for a long time too is a success. Yes, Weight Watchers will really help you refocus. Thanks for your kind words yes, At the very least it speaks of our personal willpower to keep trying to get this weight thing figured out. People like us don't give up and so we will get there Thanks for that wonderful reminder to remember.
Haleyju - thanks so much for your postings or Beck thoughts. They always seem timely, for sure. Awesome.. for almost to preturkey day weight.
gardenerjoy - yep, we really aren't ever cured... I need this reminder that we just have to keeptrying.
wannabeskinny - staying positive is a huge part of this journey.
Today's gone out of control, but I'm here to remind myself that food doesn't have to follow suit. I can do this!
Thanks, everyone, for being here. Welcome home, BillBlueEyes -- we missed you! Beverlyjoy and onebyone and everyone, thanks for not giving up on us or on yourselves. Our little corner of the internet works so well for me because we all work for it. Thanks!
support.
me off. Appt took 5 months to get it. Took 5 min for it to be over. This was some high-end cosmetic surgery place and I felt like I was rushed through since I wasn't in the market for any pricey procedures. I'm projecting though, I know. I *am* very grateful there is nothing wrong with me skin-wise.
Four days of a food onslaught would test anyone. And I'll bet everyone was enjoying that food too right? I say put it behind you and move forward. Credit for posting here and for sharing what is a normal event for those of us who share this problem. What is special about us though is we DON'T stay in the mess, we clean it up and get us out of it, as you are doing. There is nothing wrong with you, nothing missing, nothing broken. I have overeaten since the age of 8, 41 years now. Think of all the experience we have with this? That's got to be worth something. At the very least it speaks of our personal willpower to keep trying to get this weight thing figured out. People like us don't give up and so we will get there. 
Wednesday
A check up with some concerns and a drain of the pocketbook. credit for taking care of responsibilities....which I DO recognize affects my food choices, especially the "should have" taken care of it when facing repercussions down the road. 
