I didn’t feel like going for my run yesterday but went anyways. I was tired from several nights of disrupted sleep, but I just reminded myself that I need to do something, even when I’m tired. So I let myself run slow and took walk breaks when I needed it. It’s funny that my slow lazy run is faster than my pre-Beck normal runs. Yay for those positive things that creep up on you without even realizing it.
I’m heading off to Laramie this AM to sell some yarn. I’m going with a friend who has two daughters living down there, so we’ll have fun. I just have to pack my Beck skills.
Gardenerjoy, it’s great that even when we’re not following Beck, she still has the answers to why we’re not doing it. Thanks Beck for thinking of everything!
Maryann, congrats on 7.1 lbs down. And you didn’t even have to lose blood to do it! The individual pear tarts sound wonderful. I’ll have to try it for a nice fall dessert.
CeeJay, I love the thought that things happen when we’re ready for them.
BillBE, white beans and sage sounds yummy. I have an overgrown sage bush right now. I’m thinking of moving it and the mint since they’re crowding out all my other herbs. But it’s hard to complain when something grows even when I neglect it.
I went for the vegetarian plate at supper, along with my SIL who really is vegetarian. Butternut squash "bowl" filled with gingered carrot soup, broiled tomatoes topped with spinach and parmesan, sauteed greens / green beans / asparagus, brown rice. It wa delicious! And on plan. Credit!
I'm off to march in a parade!
WI: -0.2kg, Exercise: +55 995/1800 minutes for September, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Thanks to you all for your thoughts and caring ways for me as I walk through this hard time. Yesterday was awful - there wasn’t enough food to make me feel good or better. I kind of hit my bottom with food and feelings (I think). My stomach was aching and distended when I went to sleep. It hurt and I had horrible heartburn too with nausea. I got up today and said to myself…’That’s it. I can’t go there.’ So, I’ve made my food plan for today and will take it one meal and snack at a time. - like Maryann said…sometimes it take 20 minute goals.
I got up this morning and did a meditation right off the bat - step one. I wrote down my daily gratitudes (I’ve done this for 12 years) - step two. I’ve made a food plan - step three. I’ve started to post here….. And I will do what I can to get through this day. So far so good.
gardener joy - your mentioning ‘why not’ is another reminder to keep trying…it’s here to use. Thanks for your kind words and hugs and warm energy. Yes, I did like the therapist very much. I will see her again in a couple of weeks. As for my limitations…I am getting around in short spurts of walking. I still can’t walk around a store -but, am managing to go to see friends, drive from here to there, and getting out a bit. I am wanting to go to see my grandson and tell some stories, etc to his preschool class before my surgery. I am going to investigate mind maps and relating it to journaling. Thanks for the ideas.
Maryann - I am doing a happy dance for your wonderful weight loss. Thanks for your thoughts…20 minute goals sound like a plan.
Ceejay - thanks for your thoughts and support. The therapist I am seeing actually works with folks that have health problems, food/weight challenges and life stuff too. It sounds like a good match for me. She even uses many of the Beck principles helping folks with eating/food stuff.
Billbe - I love sage too. Credit for eating such a healthful meal! Thank you for your supportive thoughts. I will try to remember to shout the healthy response you mentioned back to any “I don’t care’ attitude I feel during the day.
We are going to see some friends today.. for a cookout and bonfire. They live way out in the country and have 12 acres. It will be fun to see them. I made some sweet/sour cucumbers & onions with splenda. Hoping for willingness to eat healthfully as each part of the meal faces me.
Thanks to all for encouraging me and inviting me to keep posting at a time when I am struggling so much. I dearly appreciate it.
Last edited by Beverlyjoy; 09-18-2010 at 09:14 AM.
Check out my avatar!! I can't believe I could do it. The picture is inconsistent with my life as a farmer's wife in the central valley of California BUT I grew up on the ocean and have always felt called to be there from somewhere deep inside myself. This is Mendocino, California this summer. Just out of site in the picture, at the waves' end, is my beautiful son playing.
Speaking of son - he is demanding breakfast. Perhaps I can check back later. Happy Saturday.
You can do it, you can do it -- there's really nothing to it.
La-la la-la la-la-la . . .
Except, of course, there's really quite a lot to what we're trying to do!
I'm trying not to be depressed about being the library on a Saturday morning, so I sing myself a Cinderellie-song, one that always pops into my head when I'm up against a challenging situation. I didn't get enough done this week. Except for working out. That seems to be the only thing I can control, so I run to it . . . So, it looks like it's a working weekend.
But I am BLESSED. And happy to be in the library because I'm a big dork.
Besides working out, the only other major credit I can give myself is coming again and again, face to face with these issues and not falling apart. To be more precise: coming face to face with myself and not running away.
Thanks as always for all the kind words and encouragement. I take much comfort in reading all the posts. And I'm sending warm, supportive energy to all!
I've been busy applying Beck to all areas of my life I find that not only is it helpful to stick to a pre-made food plan, it also helps to follow a basic daily activity list. If something stressful comes up, looking at my schedule helps me to put the problem in perspective and get through it, instead of dwelling for too long, especially if I can't control the outcome.
Today I got a new dumb bell, 8lbs, to use for side bends. I was trying to hold two 3 pound ones, but decided I was worth the money to get what would work better. I also updated my music to better fit my routine. I needed some breather room between exercises, so added a few short songs for that.
I feel all shiny and new - ready to take on a new week !
I hope everyone is having a nice weekend.
Woodland
Hi Coaches
I have kept to my eating plan the last few days - but have been doing a bit of eating at the sink and not being mindful. I was out for lunch at a cafe yesterday and made sensible choices so took credit for that
I am going to have to go back to lists and putting everything into a diary or list to be sure it gets done - that includes work and diet / weight loss skills as the TBDS recommends. Did a bit of that this morning. Found a semi detached house that I would love to move to - 7 minutes from work, pet friendly (!!), etc but ridiculous price. Wouldn't be able to rent my home for enough to cover some of the price. Will keep looking. Without the beasties it would be easy to find a unit of some sort
Exercised with my weights today so really pleased - don't know why I have been resisting - find interesting ways to self sabotage.
Lots of thoughtful threads on the list at the moment - wake up calls. BBE's quote for the day from TBDS is so apt. I truly expect people to be mind readers or at the very least they SHOULD have enough insight to know what is needed, how to go about things, how I am feeling etc. And when they don't at the least I get impatient and at the worst get resentful. Great fuel for the downward emotional spiral.
My weight continues to bob up and down annoyingly - can't tweak the diet any further and just have to wait it out. Exercise no doubt will help!
BeverlyJoy - I have been looking at the gratitude literature and have thought of a gratitude practice - your posts are helping to push me in that direction. I am so grateful to see you here and to see you taking it one meal at a time; 20 minutes at a time Shepherdess - Yay for running when you don't feel like it - I need to push myself harder. I have no work/life balance because somehow I think I like it that way - it absolves me of taking responsibility GardenerJoy - hope the parade went well. I liked your idea of concept mapping your issues and the stuff that fills up your head. Mine is chokers today hence the plan to make lists etc. And I cranked up mind manager to have a go at mapping. It helps to sort out the spaghetti in my head Lexxiss - massive drive for the weekend when you casually mention 900 miles! Hope Lake Tahoe is great and things went to plan BillBlueEyes - I too was ROFL after your post (I cross posted that evening) - you are clever with your responses and that was special. Yay for gym being gym and white beans and sage being thought a treat Maryblu - I ask myself why not regularly when I know that TBDS is a plan worth following and when I am not doing all the components. It is a useful distinction - not about faith but about knowledge and time tested strategies. I have to think about my self sabotage when I am not fully engaged with it all - thanks for the thoughts
We have had a whirlwind of a time since we decided to hop in the car and drive 900 miles. My food packing really helped and I made good choices during our drive. Hubby's snacking is a bit more annoying when I couldn't just get up and go to another room. I made a bit of mistake in planning this AM. I assumed that "breakfast" would be scrambled eggs, etc, but it was lots of store bought crappy pastries and nothing really healthy. I had some fruit, some very good but salty smoked salmon and too much coffee. Usually I'm ok with that, but I think that being tired from the drive made me weaker than usual. I got a bit shaky. Tomorrow I will eat before going to the white sugar and hydrogenated fat brunch. All in all, good choices. *credit*
Diet Coaches/Buddies - In the It Takes So Little To Make Me Happy department: My favorite Indian grocery store still had Nova Scotia blueberries in pint clams for $4; I bought 8 pints for the week for just DW and I - CREDIT moi for going out of the season in a burst of antioxidants, LOL. All other stores around here are selling the half-pint clams for $4 or $5.
Gathered another heap of tomatoes; CREDIT moi for accepting gifts from the earth. DW asked many dollars of tomatoes we'd harvested this year. We kept escalating the number back and forth til it got to about $300 after calculating that Heirloom tomatoes go for $5/pound around here and we had a bunch of 2-pounders. Finally decided that we didn't save $300, but that we had $300 worth of tomatoes that we wouldn't have had.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Drooling for that vegetarian plate - I suspect that Shepherdess would approve.
Shepherdess - That might be the whole of Cognitive Therapy, "but went anyways." Where did we ever get the notion that we had to honor I don't feel like it? Hope you sold skeins and skeins of yarn. (Is that the unit of your hand gathered yarn?)
Beverlyjoy - Ouch for negative feelings just when you have legitimate reason to see the path forward. Hoping you can find a way to get to your DGS therapy - methinks he could mend your spirits.
Cheryl (Seadwaters) - "at the least I get impatient and at the worst get resentful. Great fuel for the downward emotional spiral." BTDT. It's so easy to trigger our negative emotions - for me it's worse when I have no clue as to what caused it. I think you're winning when you see, and name, what it is. Sending good house hunting vibes.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Now that's calling a spade a spade, "white sugar and hydrogenated fat brunch," LOL. I need to remember that one next time I'm facing some mediocre prepared food.
Woodland - Buying 8 pound dumbbells is taking care of yourself; Kudos. Neat notion to turn to your activity plan to keep the day moving forward.
MaryContrary - Oh Yes, Monster Kudos for, "coming again and again ... face to face with myself and not running away." You are legitimately in a difficult time in your life; writing a thesis is stressful for most mortals. Methinks that continuing to acknowledge that your stress is real will help.
maryann - Yay for oceans; we keep one locally to observe sunrise over. Wish we could have a sunset one as well.
Readers -
Quote:
day 37 Reduce Stress
To relax your rules for other people, do the following: .......... . .
Change "should" or "shouldn't" to "it's realistic to expect that ... ." .......... . .
Other people should always be grateful becomes It's realistic to expect that not everyone will be as appreciative as I'd like them to be.
The Beck Diet Solution, pg 246.
Last edited by BillBlueEyes; 09-19-2010 at 05:20 AM.
Hi Beckfolks, coaches, friends…. yesterday was a better food day for me - I am so grateful. I didn't feel 'frantic' around food - that's good. I followed my food plan during the day. We had a wonderful time at our friend's gathering last night. I enjoyed the food I selected, ate slowly, and tried to concentrate on all the people instead of the food. My food wasn't 'perfect' at the party - but - really I am pleased with the result considering how I've been with food the past few days (weeks).
I got to see some folks last night I hadn't seen in 7 years. I love seeing the kids as teenagers and the new children, too. So fun.
I slept 9 hours last night - I am grateful for that. Since my skin stuff - I've been sleeping so poorly. It was wonderful to sleep in a bit. I don't need to sleep in the recliner anymore...my skin is so healed that laying down flat doesn't make my skin hurt any more - YAY. (I think I'll add that to my gratitudes for today!)
Maryann - I love the California coast line too. It’s so beautiful and often makes my feel serene.
Mary contrary - good for you getting in all that exercise. A Saturday morning at the library isn’t so fun…but, getting things done IS. You said: coming face to face with myself and not running away. Major Credit.
Woodland - I agree how having a plan and a blueprint can be comforting in a world of temptations, busyness, and more. Credit for getting new dumbells.
Seadwaters - credit for recognizing your eating at the sink and making good choices out. Yes lists are very helpful. Good luck with the house looking. I think having my daily gratitudes helped me get through the hardest days of my recent challenges. I recommend it greatly.
Lexxiss - traveling is challenging. Yes, it’s good to have your food around when the other yummy/junky food is staring at you.
Billbe- kudos for stocking up on the blueberries! It’s fun to figure out the ‘what if’ savings on our gardens. But, really - it’s picking those tomatoes and then in a moment eating them that’s the biggest payoff for me. Yes…I think a visit to my grandson is always good for my soul!
You get lots of exercise walking in a parade! Since transportation and parking is problematic, I intended to walk to and from it as well. But I ended up hitching rides with others who were also in the parade, so it wasn't quite as much walking as it might have been. I walked in the same parade a couple of years ago and was absolutely exhausted at the end. I'm thrilled at the difference two years made for me -- I have some achiness in the joints this morning from walking on a harder surface than I'm used to, but my energy level yesterday and today was normal. Also, I saw a friend on the parade route who didn't recognize me because I lost weight. Yay!
WI: -0.4kg, Exercise: +80 1075/1800 minutes for September, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
seadwaters, Beverljoy, MaryContrary, Woodland, and others: do any of you have tools or methods you like for organizing tasks? That seems to be a component of what we've been talking about recently. I'm trying to start to work writing into my life without wrecking the healthy lifestyle I've developed and I've been thinking that better time/task management might be the ticket. Also, I'm trying to justify buying an iPad , so I'm exploring software that would work on the iPad as well as the computer. Even with software, though, I'm going to have to organize things with some overarching method that may or may not be tied to the software I choose.
BillBlueEyes: yay for yet more blueberries when you already thought you had your last!
Lexxiss: good job rethinking your breakfast strategy when the first didn't work out.
maryann: beautiful avatar! I find ocean views soothing, too, which is a bit of a misfortune living in Missouri!
gardenerjoy- I love your story about the friend who did not recognize you. That is pretty motivational/inspirational. Your thoughts on cravings were interesting and equating craving with suffering was a real eye opener for me. Thank you for that.
Beverlyjoy- credit for a better food day yesterday. Wishing you a good day today.
BillBlueEyes- nice savings on the tomatoes and aren't they fantastic fresh? Our tomatoes did terrible this year due to nonstop rain in June and lack of heat in July and August. Usually I have enough to freeze for sauces, soup, etc. but not this year.
Lexxiss-hope you are having a good trip! I would love to do that drive-- hope one day to see that part of the world. I made a new card out of one your statements- "Put my dieting first".
seadwaters-I am also back to lists, plans and writing down all my food. Only way I can keep on track. Congratulations on your weight loss.
Woodland-Your routine of fitting Beck into your day is excellent. And like you say it does not take that much time once you are in a routine.
MaryContrary- I think that giving yourself credit for facing issues and not falling apart or running away is fantastic.
maryann- down 7.1 pounds- awesome!!! I loved your post about 20 years of dieting and now 40 days into healthy eating. It is a wonderful achievement.
Shepherdess-kuddos for running when you didn't feel like it.
onebyone- Yes I think that your statement- don't think I've made any progress at all-- is a sabotaging thought. I really messed up most of this summer and was thinking about the same. But then we have to think about all the time we have been on plan and following our Beck guidelines and know that each and every day of healthy/sane eating is one day of progress that is not erased or taken away. All those days of not stressing our bodies do matter.
maryblu- thanks for your question about why not?. It is one I often ignore/avoid when I am not following the Beck program and I think that trying to tackle this when I start to slide may help me get back to what I want to do faster.
Pecola123- glad you got back on track after your mini freakout. That is the most important thing- move on as quickly as possible.
AmberPr- waving hello and hoping you had a nice trip to the cabin with your daughter.
Nature Girl-yay for staying op at the Olive Garden- a difficult place to navigate.
Houston2Command-yay for your pants falling off!!! New pants might make a nice reward.
Leonor- waving hello.
new2me2-hope your mouth is healing up.
For me- I didn't do great yesterday- mostly because I didn't plan. Already moving on.
Credit today so far for:
weighing in
doing arm weights
making a food plan for the week
checking in with my coaches
eating a healthy breakfast
I had my victory sushi dinner last nite. DH took DS down on the farm so I was alone. I realized what people might think of a middleage lady sitting at a table by herself listening to Miles Davis on her ipod, writing out a food plan, eyes shining in anticipation of a wakame salad on a hopping Saturday in the old home town. Did they think I was a lonely, sad? The truth is most of the time, I like to be alone. That is who I am. I have battled my anti social tendencies forever. I can make friend easily but inevitably I need more space then a life full of phone chats, lunch dates, and shopping trips for socks can provide. I have had the same close knit group of friends for over 30 years of my life now. I didn't marry until I was 37 because I think I feared the loss of privacy. What does this have to do with a food plan? I have always overeaten to numb my feelings of outrage at having to "fit in" with everyone else. Now that I have put food back into its proper small place, I have " no Choice" (as Beck would put it )but to follow the principle "To thine own self be true." I can't bother with what others feel about me sitting alone and I can't wish to be like them. I can't have it both ways. I have to be enough just being myself.
gardenerjoy- parades are always celebrations. Your story fit right in with that. BillBlueEyes and Shepardess: I can't repeat the quote enoguh times: Where did we get the notions that we have to honor "I don't feel like it." That goes down in the "All Time Greatest... Book of Quotes" Lexxiss-I have been on HWY 50 in the winter. I think I would prefer it in the summer - less vultures waiting for us Californians to mess up. seadwaters-I have been sink eating, as well, still on plan but an insidious example of self will run riot. Thanks for sharing. I am going to work on it as well. MaryContrary- I was forty pounds heavier than I am now back in my college days. Deadlines and library isolation is conducive to carbohydrate poisoning. Credit for taking preventive steps of exercise. I never did back then.
Speaking of homegrown produce, I have now picked an entire bag of quinces and two boxes of fresh black mission figs. I am determined to turn them into healthy tart fillings for the winter.
Hello everyone!
I feel almost guilty for only posting periodically. Everytime I read your posts, I feel like I can stay committed to this for one more day.
I have been weighing daily (this seems like a good accountability practice for me): Credit
I am planning next day's eating, each evening: Credit
I have incorporated much of Beck into my thinking: Credit
I'm still journeying with depression; I had a medication trial this week, but it only lasted 4 days. It's a long story, but suffice it to say, I struggle to get out of bed most days. But I do get out of bed, everyday!! Currently, nothing sounds good to me, so I am struggling to make my FP.
My weight is up 2lbs today.
I have not exercised yesterday or today because I'm super sore from 2 very challenging yoga classes on Thursday and Friday. I just re-read that and it sounds like a poor excuse, but there it is.
The sun came up and all I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep, but I got up had some coffee and headed out for my long run. We’re supposed to have record highs today (somewhere in the mid 80s) so I couldn’t put it off. So credit once again for running when I didn’t feel like it. As always, once I was out I was happy I went.
The Laramie trip was good. We went out to lunch at a place that has great vegetarian food. It’s so refreshing to sit down at a restaurant in WY and actually have options. It’s so unusual it was hard to decide, but finally went with a sandwich with lots of veggies. It was so satisfying that the sinful dessert list was an entertaining read instead of a source of temptation.
I did arrive home without a very good plan in place. Unfortunately, I have depleted my stocked freezer and didn’t have a good alternative, so dinner was mostly snacks. I haven’t tracked the calories yet, but I’m sure I was over my limit. Oh well. I’ve got a plan for today and will do all the cooking necessary to restock my freezer.
Gardenerjoy, I’m drooling over your vegetarian plate. Yay for having the energy to walk in the energy to make it through all the parade walking! It’s so great to get those reminders of how much progress we have made.
Beverlyjoy, great job putting a bad food day behind you and dealing well with a tough food situation. And yay for a good night’s sleep! It’s so amazing what adequate rest does to all areas of life.
Maryann, I love the avatar! Kudos on your victory at the sushi restaurant and for finding the self-confidence to do what you need to do. I’m a bit of a loner myself, so I can definitely relate.
MaryContrary, best of luck on all your writing. I always found it difficult to spend time in the library when I was in school. Very few windows and something about the hum of florescent lights puts me to sleep.
Woodland, it’s great that Beck is spilling over into other areas of your life. Planning works with lots of things. Yay for new, heavier dumbbells giving you the strength to take a new week by the horns.
Seadwaters, kudos for making sensible choices at the café and great job doing those weights even though you were resisting it. I will never understand why it can sometimes be so difficult to do things that make me feel better.
Lexxiss, great job staying OP on a 900 mi drive with a serious snacker. It sounds like you did a great job finding healthy options and ignoring “crappy pastries.”
BillBE, yay for Novia Scotia blueberries. As much as I love the local food movement, I also love eating fresh produce year round. Yay for earning $300 of tomatoes.
CeeJay, I love what you said about every OP Beck day being a day of progress, and no backsliding can erase that. Great job of moving on. I always mess up on days I don’t plan. I’ll learn eventually. . .
Madrikh, hugs while you continue to find a solution to your depression and credit for continuing to try. Great job keeping up those Beck skills. You probably deserve a rest after a couple of tough workouts. On days when I need a rest, I try to do some gentle yoga, just to keep myself in the exercise habit (and as a bonus, it speeds recovery). Is there any gentle activity you could find to fit the bill?
You can do it, you can do it -- there's really nothing to it.
Mini-goal: 2 pages of writing before lunch!
I find that not only is it helpful to stick to a pre-made food plan, it also helps to follow a basic daily activity list. If something stressful comes up, looking at my schedule helps me to put the problem in perspective and get through it, instead of dwelling for too long, especially if I can't control the outcome.
I was trying to hold two 3 pound ones, but decided I was worth the money to get what would work better. I also updated my music to better fit my routine. I needed some breather room between exercises, so added a few short songs for that.
Sunday
, so I'm exploring software that would work on the iPad as well as the computer. Even with software, though, I'm going to have to organize things with some overarching method that may or may not be tied to the software I choose.
