It's an interesting day here. My Mom is visiting and it's time to make, bake and write down several recipes which have been requested for our family cookbook and have never been written down. *credit* for cooking the family pancakes for lunch and having my standby salad since I knew I'd be tasting potato salad and would be wanting to enjoy a small serving with dinner. *credit*, also, for skipping coffee time after church for the same reason. I just stopped to read posts and fuel up a bit before starting on another case of peaches, which I will note are 99% eaten by my DH for snacks. I would imagine we will do 7-8 cases.
I'm on the run, but thought I'd share a quote I read this AM.
"Your beliefs become your thoughts,
your thoughts become your words,
your words become your actions,
your actions become your habits,
your habits become your values,
your values become your destiny."-Mahatma Ghandi
Since I'm wearing the "cool" hiking pants that are on my Vision Board I'm thinking of revamping and adding this quote with some pictures of my more slender days. I see Beck principles in this quote; as my Beck habits become my "values" my destiny will be a life at a healthy weight.
Thanks for all the supportive words for my last ranting / whining post. I've been struggling with issues of shame regarding this poetry-thing, and academic thing -- not to mention hormonal issues that just exacerbate these feelings. I should have logged on earlier. Y'all always make me feel better, and not-alone.
My DP complimented me yesterday on my weight-loss, noting that my shoulders are getting rounder, and my arms are getting firmer. That was a great feeling! I have been weighing myself every day, and seem to be steady, but I just don't trust my analog scale. My plan for today is to calibrate it. First have to learn how to do it. Ha.
My DP knows that I've been following the Beck principles, but yesterday morning we actually had an extended conversation. We were having coffee at our favorite weekend spot, she was reading the paper, and I pulled out my Beck Journal and began catching up on my FP and tracking my success skills. She asked me how I was doing on my "motivations," so I pulled out my A&R cards and she read them all. . . . I felt nervous, like I was about to be judged for whether these cards are "good" (whatever that means, right?) . . . But, as usual, my feelings of dread were ill-founded. She's happy that this is working for me. And I'm learning not to feel guilty for taking care of myself, even if I seem to be shirking other duties. Again, whatever that means. But feelings of guilt are the most insidious saboteurs.
I'll end on a sweet Beck-moment: I live with a rather extended family. My DP's eldest daughter (who was just diagnosed with lupus) is living with us, as well as her 10-year old son (let's call him DGS, because that's how I view him). Yesterday, after running around and dealing with the stress of bills, etc., I came home because I was starving and didn't want to go Off-Plan by eating out (I had inadvertently skipped lunch, and so it was that horrible time of the day known as 4PM). I also wanted to get in my work-out before I ate a larger meal. So, home to hummus and wheat crackers. I'm getting ready to have my snack and the DSG runs up to me and asks, "Mary, can I do your walking with you today?" He's seen me do this, and once he joined in, but it was sweet to have him ask to do it with me. It warms my heart to think I might be setting a good example for him. Especially when I think about all the negative examples of dieting and weight-loss I received, during my own childhood . . .
Just remember that we're ALL probably influencing someone for the better by being on the Beck Plan, whether or not we know it!
Hope everyone has a good start to the week, tomorrow. Thanks again for all your support.
Part of the denial, unfortunately, was believing that I was fat at 175 and not appreciating it for the nearly healthy weight that it was. So, somehow gaining 35 pounds felt no different than gaining five.
I could have written that - a very wise insight and one to remember.
Hello everyone and thank you for the encouraging words.
I have been slowly slipping and doing more emotional eating. I'm still 80% On Plan, but it feels like failure to me if it's not 100%.
So today, I processed 24 cups of homegrown basil. Made it into pesto and put it in the freezer.
I have been better about getting on the treadmill these past few days and I did a strenuous yoga class (and survived!).
-making a daily food plan: CREDIT
-not eating in the car: CREDIT
-Sitting down to eat, 95% of the time: CREDIT
-eating mostly OP: CREDIT
-frequently turning down food because it's not OP: CREDIT
I am trying to remind myself that I'm still new at this and can't expect myself to get it 100% right. I have learned a lot and I have changed a lot of behaviors in 1 month. I can do this.
As always, I am encouraged by reading everyone's posts.
Not a bad day, although it was challenging. The heat was ever present, plus I was cooking up salsa from garden products in the kitchen. DH found some free plums in town, so tomorrow we'll process those into jam. At the end of the day, the heat was making my family cranky, but we made it through. I ate within my allocation, but would have liked to fit more vegetables in. That will be a focus for tomorrow.
Amberpr: Nope, don't know what I'll do when I reach goal. I may have to change that number anyway, since my body seems to be liking 130-133 better. I am happy with my calorie and exercise levels, so I'm not sure what I'll decide about that goal I set. Plus, I'm fitting in the clothes I plan to stay with, so maybe I'll change it.
Shepardess: I'm glad the fire situation near you didn't harm your family. We had a fire north of us all afternoon too! The wind was coming from the south east, so I wasn't too worried that it would come near us, but it appeared to be only 5-10 miles north.
MaryContrary: I enjoyed hearing about your experience with sharing Beck with DP. She sounds supportive, which is so great !
It is so encouraging to hear all your news !
Woodland
I missed posting yesterday but I didn't miss reading my Beck day and doing my stretches/strength & reading my cards. It s a big weekend here in our town and it isn't easy to stay on plan and on Beck with the parade, the friends back in town, all of that. I did better today and I'm really working on planning what I need to do tomorrow...food plan, exercise, read, eat sitting down, manage cravings, etc., etc., etc.
Wow I'm tired and can't seem to focus so I'm gonna stop there and I'll write more when Ican make more sense.
Tomorrow: on plan eating : all day
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Passed on the opportunity for cookies. CREDIT moi even though they were just supermarket cookies because I've been known to develop a craving for any cookie that arrears before my eyes. Maintained my I've had enough relationship with food throughout the day, including no grapes after dinner, which was rather easy with no grapes in the fridge (because I'd not bought any - DUH!). Bike ride with DW just relaxing on the long weekend - rewarded with a Great Blue Heron majestically waiting for a fish to swim by. Was grousing with DW that we had no blueberries because I wouldn't pay $5 a pint at Whole Foods when I suddenly remembered my favorite Indian grocery store - walked there before dinner and got 6 pints from Washington State. Yay for the last US blueberries; next available will be the half-pints from Nova Scotia which are pricier than I choose to pay.
Did gym on Sunday morning when it opened since I'm going birding today. CREDIT moi both for planning and for taking my gym seriously.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Kudos for reconstructing your weight loss history and thanks for sharing it. I'm particularly struck by the memory that believing you were fat at 175 made gaining easier. I hate that about myself, that sometimes when I'm a little behind, I use that for permission to get further behind rather than to work to close the gap.
Shepherdess - Yay for the rapid recovery rate of a healthy dog - wish we all had that, LOL. You got me drooling for "roasted brussels sprouts and red onions" - just love it when healthy food is that appealing.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - I'm really impressed by "we will do 7-8 cases" of peaches; sounds like a lot of work - but what an outcome for the winter. Thanks for the Mahatma Ghandi quote - neat to note that he spoke long before Cognitive Therapy was quantified.
Donna (new2me2) - Congrats to your stomach for remembering how to handle solid foods. Good luck working your way back to your weight lifting - would certainly think that a two week hiatus means a catching up is needed.
Woodland - Wish that I'd incorporate homemade salsa into my life; what a great use of fresh garden bounty. Yay for free plums - that'll make the jam ever more sweet in my opinion.
Amber (AmberPr) - Yay for a walk in the brisk air; but Kudos for doing that with memories of being 85 degrees F. only one week old. Ouch for the notion "as much fruit as I wanted" - Yep, that's deadly.
Marci (madrikh) - Yay for homemade pesto; Kudos for 24 cups of basil worth of it. I love that DW makes the little freezer cubes to be pulled out when fresh basil is a distant memory. Thanks for the reminder, "can't expect myself to get it 100% right."
MaryContrary - It's so annoying, "But feelings of guilt are the most insidious saboteurs." I just hate that guilt feelings can cause such disruptions before I've even acknowledged their presence. Guilt has got to be the least useful feeling in the human repertoire.
Heartwarming story having DGS ask to go for a walk with you. Thanks for the reminder that our sane behaviors might be influencing others - whether we know it or not.
Nature Girl - Yep, special events in real life are a challenge; Kudos for seeing planning as your way.
Readers -
Quote:
day 37 Reduce Stress
Three Steps to Lower Your Level of Stress
On Days 33 and 34 (pages 227-235) of this program, you learned how to cope with negative emotions and to solve problems that cause them. You'll use many of the same skills to cope with problems that create stress. Here are the steps you should take:
. . . Step 2: Relax
Chronic stress can make your body tense. Consider getting an audiotape that teaches relaxation techniques, such as progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery. Slow, controlled breathing, which I discussed earlier on page 131, should also help. . . .
I ran some errands on a street that I rarely use anymore, but used to frequently, particularly because it had all my favorite treats along it. At one point, yesterday, my car turned into Jack in the Box all on its own! I had to drive all the way around the back side of a strip mall to get back to where I meant to go. Sheesh! But I safely did all three errands without consuming one morsel of food, because I'm no longer the kind of person who believes she needs a treat as a reward for doing necessary errands. Credit!
Off for an early morning walk with a friend.
WI: -0.3kg, Exercise: +60 305/1800 minutes for September, Food: 70%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Good morning Becksters! Still feeling better every day!
I did my 35 minutes of weights, and only had to go down a couple of pounds in weight on some exercises. This morning I did 50 minutes of Walk It Out. They were supposed to paint my building today, but I haven't seen them yet...wish I'd known that earlier because it looked like a beautiful morning for a walk outside, but didn't want to dodge power sprayers and cords, etc., lol. Oh well. I got a walk in anyway.
My eggs and bagel sat very well...later I used half that bagel to make a little turkey sandwich. That also sat well. This morning I had my protein smoothie as usual and then just tried an "egg beater" sandwich on some gluten free white bread. Hey, after two weeks, it felt gourmet to me, lol. I am going to try some pasta later I think...just a little, and the fresh pesto thing sounded good, but since I don't have anything to make it with, I may try a pseudo pesto with spinach. If that doesn't work out I'll fall back on a little tomatoe sauce and some crab meat I bought Saturday.
My weight went up a little bit today, but I was prepared for that.
Shepherdess Yay for moving when you don't feel like it! I LOVE brussels sprouts, and unfortunately they are one of the worst veggies for gastroparesis, but they can be so very yummy!
Lexxiss Oh how wonderful...a family cook book!!! My grandmother used to make some great dishes...wish I had a few of those recipes! Great quote!!! Thanks for posting it! I think I will get me some cool hiking pants, lol! Really.
MaryContrary Yay for supportive partners and good role models!
madrikh Great job on that yoga class! I still find yoga very hard. Try focusing on the behaviors you HAVE changed. Write them in your journal so that when you feel down about not being perfect you can see how far you've come.
Woodland Ugg, heat always makes me cranky, lol.
Nature Girl Yay for doing better and planning ahead!!
BillBlueEyes Yay for passing up cookies!
gardenerjoy I would have laughed at the car turning into Jack in the Box if I didn't know exactly how that happens, lol. Yay for getting yourself out of that situation and for realizing that "I'm no longer the kind of person who believes she needs a treat as a reward for doing necessary errands"...credit indeed!!!
We went to my FIL’s house for dinner last night. My MIL had several trays of caramel rolls set out on the counter, and everyone was gathered around them, talking and munching like it’s a perfectly reasonable appetizer. I had planned for dessert, but knowing me, if I had dessert before dinner, I’d likely forget and have dessert after dinner as well. I went outside and watched the kids ride a train around the driveway, credit moi. I need to do some form of exercise today. I’m feeling unmotivated, but will figure something out.
Lexxiss, kudos for planning for tasting the potato salad. It is all too easy to pretend that those tasting bites don’t count. Thanks for the Ghandi quote. It’s a good one.
MaryContrary, yay for rounder shoulders and firmer arms and for a great partner who can see the changes! It makes a big difference when the people close to you are so supportive. It’s great that your good habits are rubbing off on your DGS. Since Ghandi is on the thread today, “Be the change you want in the world.”
Madrikh, 80% is not a failure; it’s more than a passing grade! I struggle with that “all or nothing” mindset, but it is not helpful. I think for me, that mindset was just me looking for an excuse to give up. It’s helpful to remember that we are all works in progress here. Take credit for what you do right and work on the rest (I’m saying this to myself as well!).
Woodland, yuck for heat making you cranky, but yay for a hot day in September. We’re about to wave goodbye to those for another year—I hate that. Getting more veggies in is always a noble goal.
NatureGirl, best of luck staying OP with all the festivities. Learning to celebrate without over-eating is still a challenge for me. It’s so ingrained in our culture. Get some rest so you can face the challenge.
BillBE, yay for WA blueberries! I just stocked the fridge, knowing that I’ll be having frozen for a while. I love the Blue Heron as a bonus reward for an already pleasant form of exercise. They are beautiful birds. Great job passing on the cookie and maintaining that “I’ve had enough” feeling.
Gardenerjoy, you’ll have to get your steering checked out so you know why your car turns into fast food restaurants all on its own, LOL. Kudos for not letting it stop and for changing those old habits.
New2me2, glad to hear that the “gourmet” solid food is sitting well. Great job getting in your exercise and you’ll be back up to your usual weights in no time. You have a great attitude towards your weigh in. I just noticed how close you are to your goal. You’ll be there before you know it!
Alas, a very busy day with my Mom. *credit* for exercising and sticking with my food plan, so far. We are going through hundreds of recipes in order to find the few our family would like to save. It's great for me to reflect on just why I am working so hard to keep my environment organized and my clutter to a minimum.
At this point, reporting on my (mis)adventure/accident is old news and not germane to my challenge at hand other than my challenge involves moving in spite of being injured. *Snarling, whining, as I am a big weinie whiner baby about pain and not at all patient about limitations. I am sooooooooo in awe of my Beckies who are..not even gonna mention cybernames, cuz there are quite a few of us Beckies dealing graciously with serious heath/pain/limitation issues so matter-of-factly.....credit, all.
I just want to get back on track and contribute as a Beck coach. I took some time today to read posts on other threads, and as always, it struck me that 3FCs are finding Beck wisdom/methods on their own; it makes me grateful Beck has laid it all out for us. For example, I was reading a thread about fasting, just to get in touch with our own body's knowledge/reaction to hunger..that person had to figure it out on her own, but our dear Beck methodology lays it out for us. Too cool!
Hello All, and hope that you had a wonderful Labor Day!
We spent the day with friends who have a lovely screened in porch. Dawn invited us "Want to come over and have goodies on the grill?" I was nervous about what the food options would be so we made sure to bring food along that was safe for me to munch on. ...As it turned out, Dawn had remembered that I was "doing a diet thing" so she had set out a lot of food that was light and healthy. Grilled eggplant, veggies with yogurt dip, watermelon, cantaloupe... I had made my mind up ahead of time that if she'd made a fancy dessert, I would have half the amount I would usually have eaten. Instead, out of consideration for me, she hadn't made a dessert at all
<Credit> for not making myself a dessert as soon as I got home. I recited BillBE's mantra "I've had enough".
Happy news -- today the pointer on the scale had moved a little bit! : This is the first I've weighed anything under 160 for the past 15 years.
I'm so glad for all the inspiration and feedback I get here
Well I met all my deadlines, made all my things, got them to all the right places and people, and have come out the other side.
THANK GOODNESS.
Under the pressure of the week I ate. And there were two days I ate off and on all day. My weight was back at 277 this morning. Salt salt salt and too much food.
Since I can't seem to not eat when under a lot of stress I think I need to alleviate the stress. Much of my body doesn't like these time crunches anymore, as if I ever really did. I must work on being more moderate.
Yikes.
Luckily we can begin again and so I am.
I've attached some images of my sculpture figures made entirely out of packing tape. This was called One Way and it's Charon the ferryman ferrying the souls of the dead over the river styx. In my sculpture I have the ferryman with his schedule on his clipboard. Two souls are happily hugging each other and holding hands while a third is late and while he has the full fare Charon won't let him on board. The images are of the individual sculptures seen during the day and then the whole scene as it was at the Lumiere Festival on Sat night, which is a night festival of light. My sculptures were lit from the inside with LED lights and I was VERY pleased at the outcome. The show got called off early due to heavy rain and very high winds that blew all day. As a lantern festival nary a candle was lit due to the weather It was still a success for me.
My next big thing is tomorrow when I hand in a 7' x 5' print to be judged by the city as to whether it is bought for the city archives, framed, and displayed in city buildings. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Congrats to all those here who are losing weight and those who are maintaining and those who are just starting. May we all reach our personal goals.
Bragging!! I ate all on plan today, based on a plan I wrote last night--I've never done that before!!!Good job I've eaten on plan before, I've written down what I ate after I ate it, but I've never made a plan ahead of time and stuck to it--WOW!
I had a busy day with family members home, people coming and going into town, and a special end of summer dinner. DH & I went up to my office and moved all the (very heavy) furniture around,and then I had to replace the books, clean, set up the computer, sort, etc; a real workout. (God job,) I was clever enough to take an OP sandwich & fruit with so that I would get crazy humgry ane resort to some of the old habits. (Good job)
Speaking of habits, I came to the conclusion tonight that there is another 'word' that goes with hunger, desire, & craving: habit. I've noticed that there are times especially in the evening when I get up to do something and automatically stop by the kitchen; not hungry, not even craving anything or really even thinking of food but just habitually (almost) grabbing something. Of course, this is where my daily plan comes in - I wake up and realize that there's nothing on my plan. Lucky also that we know about eating standing up--so I'm not able to open a cupboard, grab something and eat on the way back to the computer or wherever. So two more good jobs! for those two Beck skills--dang it, they really do work!
I should have logged on earlier. Y'all always make me feel better, and not-alone.
Monday - Labor Day
so she had set out a lot of food that was light and healthy. Grilled eggplant, veggies with yogurt dip, watermelon, cantaloupe... 
: This is the first I've weighed anything under 160 for the past 15 years. 
finnegan beginagain
