I've been hit by a truck - figuratively of course, but still...
Ok, I tell my guy I'm coming down in March and the reply was "oh" - he's been in a mood all day and I asked him what was up and he said he'd email me. The "oh" was odd. But now I know why. He didn't email me, he called me on his way to lunch in his car and told me that in March he probably won't be working for the company anymore (very long story, honestly I kinda saw this coming for him - or I should say they're doing this TO him). Anywho, so he said "here you are telling me you'll see me in March and I couldn't tell you I probably won't be here". He said he was bummed and that if/when he leaves we'll exchange phone numbers.
So, a really sucky thing and a good thing. I probably won't meet him in March - but he does want to keep in touch when he goes...
Oh geez, Terri. Don't get discouraged. It's all part of the natural process. It doesn't have to be bad... this could all work out for the best.
hugs and prayers...
xoxo ellis
Sorry Terri! The girls are right, maybe he will still be in the area. A lunch sounds like a wonderful idea. It is a bump, but it could still turn out well.
As of right now, I'm only going to be in LA for a few hours, literally. Long enough for a quick meeting and then back on a plane to the Bay Area, so I can drive home the next day.
I told him I'd tell the people I'm meeting with "nice ta meetcha' now I'm going out to lunch with your former employee" - we had a good laugh, and both realized that's not likely to happen - it could, but it would be a very poor business move...
So, yea, we'll see. This could be a bump or I could have 4 or so more weeks of "my guy" before he's gone. I'm thankful for what he's taught me and I hope we stay in touch, but I've also got to prepair myself in case that doesn't happen.
I would just like to let everyone know that when I got up this morning, the windchill was -39. The cold is blowing into every available crack in my big old house, and I'm anticipating one **** of a big heating bill.
The end.
On the subject of guys I would like your opinions. I just got off the phone with the boy. He has a job interview in California on Valentines Day, so he will be out there with my ex-friend and also the chick that he kissed. I am thrilled about the interview not so thrilled about the timing or the company he will be keeping. Not that I would have spent V-day with him, but it still doesn't thrill me.
Now the part I need opinion on - The chick who abruptly put an end to me and him is coming to visit in March. He has told her alot about me and she would like to meet me. He asked me if I would like to meet her, and I said "I don't know". Am I being silly? Should I at least make an attempt at being friends with someone I am going to have to deal with? She is willing to fly across the country to see him after knowing him for less then 6 months. And there is a chance he is going to move out there in 3 months if he gets the job. I know if I ignore her exsistance, she isn't going to go away. But I am not sure I can handle seeing them in the same room. I am so damn confused.
Terri - I hope things go much better for you!!!! Ellis is right - I am very impressed with your attitude. I wish I could be that ok with everything.
Well, others may disagree with me here... but I think it is time to move on. Why torture yourself with this whole thing? If he wants to be with you, he will choose to be with you. Please don't settle for second best... life is too short. I made this very mistake in college and I always regret it. After my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me... it sort of dragged on for awhile and he was seeing other people but still "missed me" and blah blah blah. I couldn't imagine my life without him. Of course I continued to let him treat me like this... in the end I had to accept that he just wasn't willing to choose me and commit to me. I wasted so much time settling for the scraps of his affection. And yes, he was my best friend and I loved him and I wanted to marry him and it was one of the hardest and bravest and most painful things I've ever done to let him go and walk away. But thank God I finally did completely walk away and got on with my life. If he had really loved me, he would have come back to me and he would have seriously commited to me... and that clearly wasn't happening. I had to love myself enough to insist that I deserved better, that I deserved someone who loved me utterly and completely, that I deserved to be treated with respect and love and care. I finally had to completely cut him out of my life... it took me over a year to get over him, but I did eventually get over him. After a couple of years of the single life I finally met my future husband and I've never, ever wished it were any different. I look back and always wonder "what on earth was I thinking??"
But I also realized I should probably explain myself better.
I do not want to be back with him as a couple. Last time I saw him and he was feeling rather happy and flirty, I was given the opportunity to slip back into that relationship, and I choose not to. I know we work very well as friends and only passible as a couple. Niether of us are ready to fully commit and therefore we shouldn't be a couple.
He is a very caring and committed friend. Probably more so now then ever before. I need his friendship right now. I need to talk to him now about things going on that have nothing to do with him, but I am the most comfortable with him. He knows me, my life and my past the best. I would be a complete mess without that connection right now.
I am not so sure how much I want to know her. I have no connection to her except him. And I would have a hard time with the two of them together only because, while yes the pain has lessened a great deal, I am afraid that seeing her may rip it open again. Him meeting her ended something that had become an important part of my life for almost a year. I know it isn't completely fair to her. And if she is going to be a big part of his life, and she is going to make an effort, then I should. I am just not sure if I want to. That's why I am confused.
If it was any other girl, I wouldn't have the problem. I am fine with that fact one of his exgirlfriends is trying to wiggle herself back into his life. And I know she would jump him if given half a chance. If he wants her, thats his choice.
Squeaker dear, Sojo is so right. The only one being hurt here is YOU.
If you need him as a friend, hang on to him. But don't allow yourself to be hurt by him in any way. I don't think you should meet that girl right now. It's too soon. This is not some sort of a test of your friendship with him. If he doesn't understand how you feel, then either he's not worthy of your friendship or there's a huge communication gap that needs filling.
And who cares if she's making an effort!? That's just "lovely", but she's got what she wants while you're sitting in the wings. Uh uh... if she's so nice, then she'll understand that you don't want to meet her right now. And you know, she's probably jealous of your friendship with the boy, and wants to take a good look at you!
Listen sweetie, he's a dear friend, but you have a life to live. You can't skip around his all the time. Keep your friendship, but move on with your life. It's not good for him to see you as being "always there" either. It makes you unattractive. Tell him you'd love to see him, but you just don't have time in your busy life to meet her right now. You've got other friends, a job, a life, things to do. You're not hanging around waiting for the dregs of his friendship.
I know how difficult it is to see clearly when you're right in the middle of such a situation. We're not trying to be know-it-alls, but it's easier for us to see what's going on, even when we're not right there with you. You're worthy of greater things; Squeak, and we love you too much not to be honest with you.
Okay, that's a **** of a lot of rambling.
I hope I haven't done my usual foot-in-the-mouth-thing, for which I'm so famous.
Squeaker,
Sojo and Ellis are right on the money. You need time to adjust to him first before you can take on meeting his new friend. All in good time my dear. There is nothing more I can add that these other two smart chicks have not already mentioned.
Go out with your other friends and have a good time. Enjoy life sweetie!
Virginia
Sorry Terri! The girls are right, maybe he will still be in the area. A lunch sounds like a wonderful idea. It is a bump, but it could still turn out well. 
squeak
Oh sweetie...
