it wasn't supposed to be but my cousin came in town (I live across the country from my family so I didn't get to spend it with them due to school) and we just pigged out and watched movies. (part of it was I got this crazy depressive mood swing so I ate more than I wanted on purpose. Its like I punish myself when Im sad and its a habit Im trying to kick. I use food as a reward and as a punishment. It just happened to be when my food choices weren't going to be as strict and it exploded)
So no exercise and no healthy eating. And I barely drank any water. But its okay. Back on the band wagon now and its time to kick some booty.
Well, pretty good day today. I worked out 45 minutes, ate well, drank lots of water and no soda. I got some relief from mom until just now. She texted me again, hoping I will call today. What she doesn't realize is, every time she texts me, she's pushing back the time I will call her, because I specifically asked her for space and time to think, and she is not giving me that. How can I reinforce that behavior by calling her because she tells me she wants me to? She is doing this based on what she wants, not based on what I told her I want. She doesn't care about what I want or need, she's just trying to get her needs met. Which is why I'm not calling her. Hopefully she will get that soon.
Overall today was successful, I took care of me today.
Hey everyone, here's the week 4 charts. Not a lot of weigh ins this week because of Thanksgiving, hope to see more people next week! Onwards and upwards!
oh yay! I didn't totally screw up my weight loss. I'm actually lighter than the chart. 194.0 this morning, water weight is starting to go away! I cannot believe it is december. That is really messing with me. It's kind of nice because I know I'll get time off at the end of the month, but kind of bad too because I'm so behind with work, and right now I just don't care about work. Hopefully I can get a few things done the next few days, but it probably wont be much because Papa's funeral is tomorrow, I won't be getting anything done that day. I just hope that things start looking up soon. At least I didn't mess up my weight loss. That's a good thing.
Whoops, forgot to fill mine in! It's for the best anyway since I didn't get a real end-of-month reading because of traveling for the holiday. I think I'll just leave it blank if that's okay, and weigh-in again at the end of this week I've definitely got a lot of bloating going on right now though. I thought I did pretty well with my eating, but even eating at maintenance for a few days still makes my body freak out because it's not used to that kind of food!
Pretty good day today. I did well with my food, didn't exercise today, but I just did yesterday. No problems there. I'm still super stressed emotionally and about work, but right now there's really not much I can do about it.
Tomorrow is Papa's funeral, so my husband and I are spending the day with the family, which we definitely need to do. I'm going to do my best to eat well tomorrow, but I won't be in charge of my food, so it may be a bit difficult. I'll just have to play it by ear. I was actually 150 under my calories today (just not hungry) so hopefully if I do go over a bit tomorrow it will balance itself out. My priority is spending time with the family, we don't get to see each other often, and my husbands family definitely needs support right now.
Well, the service today was beautiful. Very emotional, but it was also good. We came home this afternoon, and I worked out for 45 minutes while my husband worked on his paper. He is obviously not in good shape today, but he still has so much work to do. He is so incredibly stressed, it's unreal. He is having anxiety attacks from the stress right now. He is trying to finish his masters in finance (he has about a month of class left, through Xmas, the busiest time at his work) and he is working full time as well. Full time for him is around 70 hours a week right now, which is SO rough on him. He hasn't had any time to just relax in forever, and it's eating him alive. I'm picking up as much slack around the house as I possibly can, but unfortunately a lot of the work he is stressing over is stuff I can't do for him. I can't go to work for him or do his masters for him, I just hate that there is so little I can do to help. I'm trying to help him relax, but I feel to a certain extent that I'm failing to help him de-stress. I just hate seeing him like this. Anyone else have this issue at home? I just don't know what else to do to help him!
Still weighing in at 161 lbs which is awesome, I always worry that when I see a drop it's just a fluke and it will go back up the next day. But not this time! I've have been pretty busy the last few days. Christmas shopping on Sunday, with a big lunch at a Caribbean restaurant (but managed to still be 161 lbs the next day so, yay!), then afterwards went to a local switch on event for a house that goes crazy with Christmas lights. It was all in the name of charity so it was a nice event, but really crazy to see our quiet neighborhood be so crowded!
Yesterday I had TWO interviews for jobs. It was super stressful, but I made it through the day. The first interview was for a really dodgy company, they advertised the job as admin assistant but it ended up being a job that just calls people to harass them about pension schemes. The woman was also a bit too quick to say she'd hire me, that I'd have to work a week without pay, talked a lot about making money and the such. I generally just got a bad vibe from them so when I missed their call later I didn't rush to ring them back! The second interview was a MUCH better company - they were super nice and the office was lovely. The interviewer was really cool, which can be bad in a way because it makes me feel more relaxed i.e. prone to rant more casually than professionally. However I felt I did well, but unfortunately he's off for a week because he's getting married so I don't find out until the 15th if I got the position. I'm happy he's getting married, but not so happy that I have to wait so long to hear from him! So until then I'm going to keep applying as if I didn't get it just in case.
Unfortunately I had a massive binge after the interviews yesterday. It was bad. I had chocolate, Coke, jaffa cakes, crisps...just ALL the bad food that I love but that is so bad for me. I felt super guilty about it today so I'm going to lock that feeling in my memory bank and make sure it doesn't happen again. I didn't weigh in today since I knew it would have been bad, but tomorrow I'm going to weigh in and see the damage.
Today I was going to work out, but my Mum asked me if I wanted to help with the Christmas decorations and I said yes. We ended up spending a good 3 hours hanging up lights outside and inside, then by the time I'd had a small break (to regain feeling in my fingers - so cold!) it was time for me to start cooking dinner! Then after dinner my friends came over for a catch up. So I'm not too bothered that I couldn't work out because I had lots to do. I barely ate much today, I drank green tea and water all day to flush any crap out of my system.
In another thread for this challenge I've just received a complaint from someone who said that the fact I create an overall top 20 chart was insulting, that I was not treating people equally and I was a control freak. I honestly was shocked to be called out on all these things, so I was wondering, do you guys think the top 20 chart is a negative thing? Or does it motivate you? The way I always saw it was that this is a challenge, a challenge has to have some competition and the top 20 IS the challenge. You can choose to weigh in and stay accountable, there's no problem in doing that, but to push yourself harder to get into the top 20 is something I saw as a positive thing. But if any of you have any feedback then I'd like to hear it.
P.S. - Draconicdreams if you're reading this, you're definitely keeping me on my toes to make sure I keep on track!
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hilarious - I know how you feel, I use food in a similar way too. Lost some weight? Time for a treat. Feeling stressed? Time for some food. I think I might start trying to put some money aside for when I want to treat myself - thinking about it I'd much rather buy something that will last a long time than something that will be eaten and have a bad effect on me! Definitely just get back to normal asap and you'll do great
clay - *big hug* Things are tough for you right now but the fact you're still coming here and updating the chart/thread with your progress is amazing. Staying accountable during a tough time is so important, you're doing really well. Even if you do over eat a bit here and there, you're still HERE which is what counts. Take it easy!
noname - Please right click the cell and insert a note to say you're not weight so I don't end up moving you to standby by accident!
Last edited by Riestrella; 12-02-2014 at 07:02 PM.
Rie Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it. I'm trying to make sure I stay accountable, because I really am enjoying my new lifestyle, and I don't want to go back to old habits. As far as the thread is concerned, I have no problem whatsoever with the top 20, I actually like it, because I want to BE in the top 20! I can see how maybe some people would find it upsetting if they're not in the top 20, I definitely wasn't in the Halloween challenge, and that is disappointing sometimes, but it feels truly awesome to make it there with hard work. In my opinion, if someone has a problem with the way you do your challenges, they don't have to join it. I definitely don't think that makes you're a control freak. That makes no sense to me. Honestly, that sounds like a comment from someone who was hurt or felt insecure about their progress, and wants to take it out on you to make themselves feel better, that's just my opinion. And, as you say, it is a challenge after all!
Rie Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it. I'm trying to make sure I stay accountable, because I really am enjoying my new lifestyle, and I don't want to go back to old habits. As far as the thread is concerned, I have no problem whatsoever with the top 20, I actually like it, because I want to BE in the top 20! I can see how maybe some people would find it upsetting if they're not in the top 20, I definitely wasn't in the Halloween challenge, and that is disappointing sometimes, but it feels truly awesome to make it there with hard work. In my opinion, if someone has a problem with the way you do your challenges, they don't have to join it. I definitely don't think that makes you're a control freak. That makes no sense to me. Honestly, that sounds like a comment from someone who was hurt or felt insecure about their progress, and wants to take it out on you to make themselves feel better, that's just my opinion. And, as you say, it is a challenge after all!
I'm the same way, even though I run them I'm very rarely in the top 20 until enough people drop out (which is inevitable). But seeing my name so high up this time around has been really motivating! The funny thing is is that the person was doing really well, so I'm not sure why my top 20 chart caused such a big reaction. Since the dust has settled and people have commented that there's nothing wrong with the challenge I feel better about the situation. The challenge stays as it is, it's worked for 3 years so I'm sure it can't be all that bad!
Ries - I agree that the Top 20 chart is very motivating! I'm not on it right now but I really want to be. Also, with how many people are participating, it would make for a very long chart for you to post and quite honestly I don't need to see that lol! I hope it was just a misunderstanding. Surely these people know they can still click on the link to find their info? And that their names are included in the chart for the respective forums? Glad you had a successful interview. I hope you get good news after his wedding (Added my note, sorry about that!)
Claygirl - Sounds like you and your DH need to schedule a nice relaxing get away to celebrate the end of his schooling and busy season, and all you've been through lately as well. I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you're doing all your can for your DH already, and stressing yourself out about what you can't do won't help. You keeping your head on straight while he gets through this next month will help him more than you know.
I'm back to tracking calories in addition to my normal dietary routine (intermittent fasting). I definitely need the extra boost during the holiday season, and I think tracking, at least during the week, will keep me on track. It doesn't help that I have a birthday coming up and a few other birthdays in my family! So I am trying to be extra diligent and refraining from eating out as much as possible. I'm really, really trying to get to the gym more this month, too and will not neglect updating in the Exercise Challenge this time!
I got really down on myself when I realized I've "only" lost 34 pounds so far this year, which is dumb because that's a lot. Just because I didn't lost 1lb/week this year doesn't mean I'm doing something wrong. At this rate, I'll be at my goal weight in a year and that is OKAY. Yes, NNS, it is OKAY!!! Must drill that into my head.
noname - Glad you find it motivating too! I did inform them about the fact that all the information is there, but they haven't replied yet. No need to apologise, I just don't want to end up putting you in standby when you're still around! I agree, staying accountable is really vital to staying on track. If I don't log calories I tend to lose my way a bit, so even if it's just estimations on my food it's better than nothing. Oh honey, 34 lbs is definitely not something to be down about! That's AMAZING progress!! Well done! It's easy to get lost in the number game but it's good to step back and tell yourself that you've lost a huge chunk of weight. Sometimes I like to see what objects weigh the amount I've lost. I just googled for myself "what weighs 39 lbs" and apparently I've lost the equivalent a 15-foot canoe or a 3-year old child!!
Hey all, finals week is next week and it's crazy that the semester is ending but I won't lie I need a BREAK.
I'll be having my first cheat meal on Saturday this weekend and I have to say I feel good about planning it and actually knowing what I might want.
The thing is, I like the healthy food that I eat, but the fact is that junk food is fun and tastes good! So I am not gonna spend the rest of my life battling between feeling awesome and eating healthy and then recovering from huge binges a few times a month. I'd rather just do it in a relaxed and planned manner.
Plus psychologically it's a HUGE break. Before I would just push myself to go as long as I could without a binge but every time I saw a cookie or pizza or something I would think "I can't eat that!" and then I'd be sad. Now I look at those things and think "Mmm, that'd be good right now but I will have that on Saturday."
haha
I've definitely got a lot of bloating going on right now though. I thought I did pretty well with my eating, but even eating at maintenance for a few days still makes my body freak out because it's not used to that kind of food!
