So I went and worked out today. My hrm said I burned 525 calories during my bootcamp, so I'm happy. However, I decided before bootcamp that it would be a good idea to eat chocolate before working out, so I'm still shaky now. Stupid blood sugar. Stupid idea, too, lol!

I'm down to 159.6 today.

I've got this.

It seems like I've been at 144 forever! I just want to get out of the 140s already...common swoosh, common!

Congratulations Cookiebear!! That is awesome! I can't wait to hit a healthy weight again.

Tropica, you'll probably have that swoosh any day now! I finally got mine.
142.6 today... even though the scale was being a little iffy on deciding. It might jump up tomorrow, but for today i'm changing my ticker!!

Kristen: Don't you love moving your ticker down?! Sometimes I'm just happy to move it .2lbs. Anything down makes me happy. Also, congratulations on your swoosh!

Congratulations everyone on your recent losses! (Feels funny to say that in any other context except weight loss!) I am JUST into the 150's as of this morning - 159.1! Woohoo! Hope the scale holds... This was my first mini goal, to weigh less than 160 so I would weigh less than my boyfriend :) It's the little things, right?

I am so thankful for this forum and thread! It feels so good to celebrate successes with all of you!

Congrats uwfan! Isn't it awesome weighing less than one's boyfriend? I only recently got to that point myself (boyfriend has trouble putting weight on!).

No downward movement on the scale for me, but I'll attribute that to salty Thai food and bar exam stress (part 1 is tomorrow...eeeeeeeek).

Congratulations uwfan!! It's always the little things.

Good luck tomorrow, Cookiebear. Just thinking about it makes me nervous. However, I am sure you are going to rock it!

As for me:A little stressed this morning. I really hate Mondays. Warning: A long rant is coming!

I haven't really talked a lot about what's going on in my life lately, but it's been stressful and really bothering me. I also think it may be contributing to my very slow weight loss.

To try and make a very very long story short, my graduate mentor did not get her contract renewed and has been fired. This professor has been a great influence on me and I have learned a great deal. What has happened to her is very very unfair. Unfortunately, we are at a private university and the rules that apply other places do not always apply here. Therefore, I have to change advisers right before I defend my thesis. This sucks, but is definitely not the worse part of my situation. As I mentioned before, I highly admire my mentor, but she has been crazy ever since this has happened to her (end of October). She can't get over it and is constantly bashing the entire department. She tells me way too much, both personally and academically. I do not think it is professional, but she does not have many people to support her at the moment, except for me.

For the people I care about, I internalize their problems and pain, which is what I have been doing. A few weeks ago, it was a particularly bad day and I ended up binging to the point I got physically ill. Later that night, right before bed, I had my first panic attack. I had been thinking about how I had to see her and interact with her the next day. I think I completely freaked out my husband! Anyway, that was my breaking point and since then I've been trying to talk it over with those that I love and trust. It has definitely been helping.

There really isn't a lot that I can do with this situation, but try and not become too emotionally involved. I've been doing a lot better! I'm sorry this was so long, but I just feel like I need to write it out and maybe get some more support from you wonderful people!

This morning has just been one of those annoying days with her. I've worked my butt off trying to get things done for her this morning. I e-mailed her to tell her I finally completed everything for her to say, "Yeah, I'll be in between 12:30 and 1pm and make sure you eat lunch because we have a lot to do today". Sometimes, I really feel like I'm being used by her. But then again, I am a doctoral graduate student and maybe that's just the norm. I really could go on and on about how used I am (i.e., emotionally, psychologically, and physically), but I think that's enough for now.

I do feel better now...So, if you've read this entire message, thank you so much for listening!

Tropica,

I'm a PhD student as well and I have a much different (though not necessarily good) relationship with my advisor. I'm inclined to say that your advisor has license to "use" you pretty much however she would like because of your relative positions. My advisor is comparatively lax but my husband's advisor is pretty demanding.

My first question is how much longer do you have left? Is your defense date within a month-ish? You do need a good lifelong relationship with your advisor so it's easier not to rock the boat in terms of how much emotional support you're giving her now. If you have more than a month though I would consider taking active steps to change the less professional parts of your relationship because of how it's affecting you physically. You could talk to whatever departmental advocate is assigned to students (called a Director of Graduate Studies at my university) or the university's counseling services to figure out how to confront and correct this problem in your relationship. You can even talk with your advisor with a third party present if you like.

She IS behaving inappropriately by venting to you and oversharing details about the departmental workings and the only reason I recommend perhaps not changing anything, though you clearly need change, is the proximity of the end date. Probably you should avail yourself of your university's counseling services even if you decide not to confront your advisor.

ERHR: How much longer? Ha...that is a very good question indeed. It gets pretty complicated. I should have had my thesis completed in the spring (2nd year graduate student here). However, the Research Director of the entire university advised her to not let me matriculate my masters because she could lose her computer privileges and statistical programs, which would completely derail her research. Once again, another long story short, I will probably not get my masters until next spring.

We work very well together and we will probably have a life long academic relationship (e.g., I have 3 first author pubs very close to submission). I cannot burn this bridge. It would be a very stupid move on my part.

I also do not feel like I can talk to anyone affiliated with this campus because of her strange situation. I am in the Social Psychology program and work very closely with the Psy.D students and professors who work in the counseling center. Sadly, I do not trust these people...Talking about what she's doing to me to anyone who is affiliated with the university could really hurt her chances of getting a new job at a different campus.

So, I'm pretty much stuck talking to family members, my husband, and now to you guys :)

However, I have started telling her how I feel when things start getting too personal and inappropriate. She's aware she's using me as a crutch (tells me she's sorry almost everyday). The phrase I hate the most from her, "You're going to have to be my mother today..." Usually, this is followed by crying and very uncomfortable conversations.

Also! Our graduate director...another long story...Basically, our old graduate director was just a horrible person in general. He likes to tell the graduate students how "stupid" the undergraduates are. Plus, he was one of the people who helped get my adviser fired. Our new adviser is good with students, but also is not very fond of my adviser. He made some very rude, condescending remarks after her annual meeting (i.e., the one where she was told she was fired). One rather nasty remark had to do with her religion. Catholics are not well liked at my university.

I'm kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place...eventually, she will get over this though...I hope!

Tropica -I am someone that tends to internalize others problems and pain, empathy at an unhealthy level sometimes. It can be really difficult to separate our problems from those of others and I know how easy it is to feel overwhelmed. I have generalized anxiety and depression (which is under control now), so from experience it helps to talk about it and get others perspectives. I guess I’m not saying much other than that I can relate and am willing to listen anytime. :hug:

Thank you so much uwfan! I too have generalized anxiety and depression. Like you, it is also under control and has been for many years. Like I mentioned, things are going better than they were. It is just nice to be able to let some of it out when I get a little stressed from it all. I think my panic attack occurred because I was not letting it out. I feel like I have to be very careful in who I confide in because I don't want to hurt her in any way. Thanks so much for listening!

Hello ladies!!

Well I FINALLLLLLLLLLY broke through my plateau!! I am SO psyched! 10 days ago I downloaded the app on your phone thru that "other" site to count my calories and WOW! It has helped me immensely!

I weighed in this morning at 152.8, when I was seemingly stuck at 155-157 for over 7 weeks! To have broke through and in such a big way I am ecstatic! Now maybe I can reach the dang 140's within the next couple of weeks. I just hope this ball keeps on rolling!


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Tropica - I hope when you update us it's all good news! So sorry to hear about what you're going through. =(

Hang tough, Tropica. Situations like this can be difficult when you take on the emotional burden of others. Sometimes I have to talk myself out of behavior like that. Think of it as necessary for your own survival.

Hearing about your experience and ERHR's advice is so fascinating to find here in these forums, since I am currently preparing my graduate program application package!

bump, where IS everyone??

*peeks head in* I'm still here....been a little busy at work but I've managed to stay on track.

Krizstyling- WTG on breaking the plateau!!!! :carrot: That has to feel great.

I was expecting no loss or gain today for my weekly weigh in (had a few meals that were over my "diet" calorie limit but all still reasonable meals but balanced that with working out). Nontheless, I lost 1lb and am at 140!

I'm getting so close to goal, I hope my body keeps it up and doesn't stop on me. *fingers crossed and knock on wood* I feel like my body doesn't want to be fat and hasn't given me too much trouble loosing the weight so long as I am consistent with diet and exercise, KWIM?