One of the things that I think got me started down this finally successful weight loss path is realizing that this wasn't an all or nothing endeavor...
The big picture is intimidating, and it isn't often suggested that a person not worry about the weight they can't see themselves losing, but only start with the weight that they're confident they can conquer. Heck even if it is only 5 lbs out of the fifty - maintain that 5 until you think you can go for 10. But 9 times out of 10, I think that once a person reaches the "easily doable" goal, the more likely they'll be ready to keep going.
Well, in theory, it could be a five pound goal all the time? Lose five. No doubt after that, you'll want to lose another five. Just thinking in five pounds the whole time, not fifty, is difficult. I think this is what I'm going to do. This way, going for one pound has so much more satisfaction, and easier to give up that bar of chocolate, or bag of chips.
Quote:
Originally Posted by recidivist
I wish I could be this positive, but this is exactly how I felt three years ago when I lost 70 lbs and kept it off almost a year. This time I will have to be on maintenance at least 3-5 years before I believe I'm really going to stick with it.
Me too, when I lost 25 pounds this time three years ago, was on top of the world, but today I'm five pounds heavier than when I started then.
Neurologically thinking, I am more curious as to how our Newly Electrified Purpose just slowly evaporates without noticing, our new learned insights and success skills just drift back to the long term behaviors, in a memory bank of association with the heavier lifestyle. I happen to think a lot of association with our Old Selves has to be closely examined, because it *things, environments, even relationships.... stays there when we change, beckoning us without our conscious knowlege of it. I know that sounds pretty abstract. (I'm reading a book called "Evolve Your Brain") Just thought I'd throw it out there.
Last edited by Hermit Girl; 01-05-2009 at 09:39 AM.
Neurologically thinking, I am more curious as to how our Newly Electrified Purpose just slowly evaporates without noticing, our new learned insights and success skills just drift back to the long term behaviors, in a memory bank of association with the heavier lifestyle. I happen to think a lot of association with our Old Selves has to be closely examined, because it *things, environments, even relationships.... stays there when we change, beckoning us without our conscious knowlege of it. I know that sounds pretty abstract. (I'm reading a book called "Evolve Your Brain") Just thought I'd throw it out there.[/QUOTE]
I rarely post, so I hope I`ve done the quotation thing correctly.
Yes, this "drift" is befuddling. I think it probably happens one tiny choice at a time, much as sometimes happens as we get on track one tiny choice at a time. But when you are there, either ON or OFF, it feels sudden.
I have "clicked" as Robin and others have talked about, but I have also "unclicked". I think it might be a perception that is actually an accumulation of thoughts and choices. Does this make sense??
I think one weapon against the drift is just to be aware of it, and have a structure in place to address it. It might be a monthly re-evaluation, maybe even quarterly, maybe weekly. Whatever it is you need. It might be primarily a numbers review, it might be primarily a psychological review, again whatever works for an individual. You might do it alone, you might have an appointment with a friend, group or therapist. Whatever, but put it in writing, make it self-perpetuating, not dependent on you remembering or feeling like it. Make it the same priority as getting Paps and mammos and teeth cleanings.
My re-evaluation is daily. I read on the Mayo Clinic site that one of the number one things that a majority of long term maintainers had in common was that they weighed themselves EVERY day...as part of their morning routine. No ability to have weight "creep" when you see it daily on the scale. So I have a small chart on the back of my toilet and a pen, and every day I put a dot on the chart. It takes zero extra time, and I am ON TOP of my weight every day -- not crazy on top of it. I don't sweat the three pound swings over the course of a month. But I do have a "five pound up" red line --and actually a "five pound down" red line (...a different issue relating to a tendency of mine to think I might look better if I was "just a little" thinner.), with my maintenance weight in the middle -- currently that weight appears to be 135 -- so, in essence, staying in the 130s is my acceptable maintenance range. If I approach my bottom or top "red lines" I will alter my behavior for a couple of weeks, and Presto! all fixed -- that is a WHOLE lot better than having to spend another six months doing it ever again in my life.
BTW, about the oatmeal - don't know if you're interested in trying it again, but I really dislike sweet things in the mornings. I eat my oatmeal with some shredded sharp cheddar, salt, pepper, and sometimes a dash of hot sauce. It's really yummy that way.
.
That's a fantastic idea! I looooove cheese! Personally, I'd much rather have eggs with cheese and ketchup or salsa than a bowl of sweetened cereal. I'll have to try that, thanks!
I used to love making rice for a fridge-staple (you know, when you're hungry and just want to nuke something, you have a container of rice to heat up!). I'd crack an egg over a bowl of rice (poke the yolk so it doesn't explode!) and microwave it with some cheese until the egg was cooked. Delicious! I wonder if oatmeal would be good with egg whites.......
there are so many crucial issues here. hats off to colleen for articulating/identifying that what a lot of people are asking for when they ask "how did you do it? no, really?" is "how did you make the transition from thinking and wanting to doing and being?"
the answers are equally interesting to me. so many just had a moment of certainty that's been strong enough to sustain them for the long haul. i also hear folks who haven't had that moment, wanting it. it seems so elusive and magical - almost a psychological magic pill, you know? i didn't have a single day when i woke up and thought, this is it, but i'm 100% certain that this IS it. i'm going to go ahead and credit CBT (judith beck) for the jumpstart, but there are a number of ideas that have also emerged in this thread that are a huge part.
- dropping the all-or-nothing thinking about success, goals, and how you feel about yourself when you make those inevitable less-than-positive choices about food/exercise
- looking at the scale as nothing more than an indication of how my current plan is working, and having absolutely nothing to do with measuring my worth as a person (or as wdranne put it, "Fortunately it only measures the attraction between the Earth and I, and not my worth as a human being, nor my success at running my own life the way I want to.")
- i can only control my behavior, and i can't make my body lose on a schedule, so there's no point in making myself crazy or measuring my weight loss against some artificial timeline
- making peace with where i am right now - and i finally understand that losing weight is probably easier than maintaining, so i might as well enjoy the process
- making peace with the fact that getting to a healthy weight takes commitment, not motivation
- finally figuring out that it's easier to control my environment than my food choices
there are more - WAY more than seven words, huh?
Last edited by kuhljeanie; 01-05-2009 at 02:58 PM.
I really think one of the issues is related to our thinking of weight loss as a behavior or task, when it's really thousands of tasks. Imagine someone asking a neurosurgeon how to perform a Hemispherectomy (and expecting a 7 word answer). Or asking an olympic athlete how they won their last marathon, or more generally how they became an competitive athlete in the first place.
Wow, could you ask me something easier like how to achieve world peace?
Every thing I'm doing is a culmination of 36 years of attempting and failing. Maybe I'm a REALLY slow learner (actually I think I just kept falling because I was trying to treat weight loss like brushing my teeth, when I should have been looking at it as trying to learn brain surgery).
The thing is I'm confident that if my hands were steadier, I COULD learn brainsurgery - I'm not so sure about this weight loss stuff.
Like anything difficult though, (and it's probably different levels of difficult for each of us), working towards what you want has to be meaningful for you. You've got to remember every day why you're doing it - No one audits medical school (well, maybe I shouldn't say no one, but I'm sure it isn't common).
I really think one of the issues is related to our thinking of weight loss as a behavior or task, when it's really thousands of tasks. Imagine someone asking a neurosurgeon how to perform a Hemispherectomy (and expecting a 7 word answer). Or asking an olympic athlete how they won their last marathon, or more generally how they became an competitive athlete in the first place.
Wow, could you ask me something easier like how to achieve world peace?
And in a full circle to earlier posts people have mentioned, I think this leads back to some people expecting an "easy" answer. One answer.
And how eye-opening it is to realize that there isn't an easy answer, and if you ask 50 people, you'll get 50 different answers. (Well... maybe not if you ask a surgeon about how to perform surgery, I hope )
For me, before I began losing weight, I would see a person (or people) who were able to lose 50 lbs or more and think "Why am I not like that person? What do they have that I don't have? It's either a secret, or it's hereditary & I'll never have it."
I don't know WHY it clicked that I could do this, but even now that I'm down most of the weight I need to be I still don't really consider myself one of "those" people. "Those" people (the ones I've conjured up in my brain) just don't exist. There is no secret, nor is there an easy answer, and even if there were something hereditary, well I certainly don't have it so there's no use in bemoaning that fact I better just work with what I have.
I don't think it will ever truly hit me that to some other people out there, wanting to lose weight but finding it impossible, I already am one of "those" people. And aside from magically hitting them with epiphany dust, I can't change them from thinking that they aren't like me, but I so wish I could.
And how eye-opening it is to realize that there isn't an easy answer, and if you ask 50 people, you'll get 50 different answers. (Well... maybe not if you ask a surgeon about how to perform surgery, I hope )
.
I think surgeons even have their unique approaches. Certainly with delivering babies, there are lots of variations, based on training, philosophy, the woman's needs, etc. It had been a few years since I had watched someone else deliver a baby and I watched one of my fellow midwives at a birth. She put her hands a little different than I would have and brought the baby out a little different than I would have. Not wrong at all, but it was interesting to me how we perform the same task and get results but with subtle differences.
We all bring unique strengths and challenges to this weight management thing. Some of us cook, some of us don't, some of us eat meat, some don't, some love to exercise, others would rather bang their heads against doorjambs for 30 minutes.
I am struck by both the similarities and the differences on our Maintainers Accountablility thread. Many of us plan, eat the same foods over and over, aim for veggies, and try to get some kind of exercise daily. But beyond that, we are so different. Jo's got it figured out veggie-style, with carbs for endurance running. Mine's stacked with animal-based protein several times through the day. Amanda works in dessert nearly every day, whereas daily dessert might prompt a binge for me.
So there really is NOT a one-size-fits-all mentality, as we all know. There are subtle differences, although overarching principles tend to be quite similar.
huh....This is NOT where I expected this thread to go at all! I expected "ennay is just being a grumpy grump AGAIN" (To those of you who hadnt met me before...umm...I get a little cranky sometimes )
And amazingly it did come full circle to exactly my point from the people who know best.
Nevermind Willpower Dust, I'll take me some Epiphany Dust!
) 