Oh god what an arsehole. Guys like that put a bad name to the whole male population. I'm so sorry hungry2live, no1 deserves to go through something like that alone, we are all here for you!
I don't feel too bad after all the alcohol consumed last night, at least it wasn't food! I did take LeaLee's advice- i drank loads of water and i feel better for it today! even though i've just woken up and it's like 1pm lol
Wow Ellis it sounds really hot where you are!! Here it's like 14 degrees C and that's really hot for the Uk!
Hope everyone controls their binges today! Good Luck!
Awww Hungry sorry to hear about that its so sad....hopefully you are feeling a little better today (although i would be a basketcase).
Leah: Glad the water helped The water kept the alcohol from dehydrating you...I always drink at least 8 oz of water between each beer to keep hangovers away haven't had too many of those since i learned that trick (cept that time my hubbys friend gave me Seagrams 7 and pepsi YIKES what a hangover that morning).
I started my TOM this morning I have a headache and i am irritable and grumpy and all the other things that go along with my buddy TOM I want to crawl back into bed but instead will take tylenol and climb into the rocking chair and read...On book 2 of the Nora Roberts Garden Series (Black Rose is the name) its reallly gettin good. Have a great day all!
I'm so sad to hear what you've been through! I hope and pray that you will have the courage and ability to put this guy away---so he can't do this to you or anyone else again. I especially hope and pray that you will feel comfort, safety, and happiness as you deal with the trauma you've gone through.
He's hurt you badly. Please don't allow fear to continue to hurt you. You CAN take steps to prevent this from happening again. NOT by hurting your body or by using fat to cloak or "protect" you. You can and should report him, turn him in.
You can also do things to make yourself feel safer, empower yourself. Buy a pepper spray----I have one that is a key chain. It is always with me. I can't tell you how it has made me feel safe many times. I've used it once, when a guy was trying to pull me into my own car and I escaped. He grabbed me from behind and I stomped on his foot HARD---I had on high heels. He screamed like a girly-man and let go of me. I then whirled around and sprayed him good! I made him scream and cry (from pepper spray). He ended up getting away by the time the cops got there but SO DID I!
PLEASE get help for dealing with your emotions. There are rape crisis hotlines that you can call for help---they can help you deal with this on so many levels----look in the phone book under social services and/or in the blue pages section(if your phone book has those). Here is a website that may help: http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip/
good morning everyone, I am up now. It was a hard night. The messed up thing about this is that the guy is a co-worker of mine. this is the sixth day in a row that I haven't gone to work and it's been because of him. I dont want to be around him. I have complained to my boss before, and he'd been given a warning. And I had also even gone to the cops because the guy had threatened to physically harm me at least three times, but the cops didn't do a thing. The only thing I wanna do today is stay home and binge all day. But I'm not going to. I'm on my way out to look for another job.
and also thank you everyone for your support. I'm so glad I have people to talk to, this is the ONLY place I am even talking about it. telemetrynurse, mace is an excellent idea, I really need that, because I also sometimes go walking late at nights and get kind of scared when I see men. I'm so glad you were able to fight a sicko off you, wtg!!! Also, the guy in question, I am friends with his sister and my best friend is even dating her (lives with her). It is a very difficult situation and I am so confused as to what to do. I'm wondering if I should take a pregnancy test too, although I dont think it lasted long enough before I got him to stop that, but just to be safe? I feel so horrible though. Today is his birthday and he was wanted this as a "gift" that is so sick I tried being nice to him at first because i was afraid if I was a b***h to him he'd retaliate and do something to me by force, but I guess either way he was going to end up doing something. Also can you be anonymous with the rape crisis center?
Hi Hungry,
What you have experienced is sexual harassment at the workplace. There are laws against this. Do an internet search for the laws in your state. Educate yourself, and go talk to your boss. Inform him that you are aware of your rights, and if this isn't handled properly, you will be contacting a lawyer. Most businesses have a zero tolerance policy, and he should be fired. If you are not satisfied with the way that your employer handles the situation, contact a lawyer, ask them to take the case on a contingency basis. In most cases, this is enough to put a fire under the employers butt. They realize this isn't just going to go away, they are going to have to do something about it. Do this even if you do find other employment and decide not to work there any more. ( Which would be a totally understandable reaction.) But please don't just drop it, or the jerk will just move on to his next victim. In cases of sexual assault/abuse that go unreported, 85% of the offenders will go on to victimize other people or revictimize the same person. Sexual harassment is not about sex, it is about power. Don't give him the power. Stand up for yourself. Trust me, in the long run, you do not want to give this guy the power to make you lose sleep, quit your job, binge eat, etc. That just continues the abuse. Cut off his power source and take control of this. Report it again to the authorities. Keep everything well documented. Keep notes of what your boss says, what the police say. I know how scary, degrading, and confusing this situation is. Please don't let it scare you into silence. Keep us updated, find someone you trust and talk this out. Feel free to PM me. You're in my prayers.
~christie
and yes, you can be anonymous with a rape crisis center. Go to www.rainn.org or call 1.800.656.HOPE, it is a great place to start. Good luck.
~christie
Hey everyone, I'm back. Thanks telemetrynurse and cryan for all your helpful information. I'm sorry to say I haven't even done anything about this situation. I spent all day at the Worksource doing a job search and talking to an employment counselor. I really don't know what to do, let me be more specific about what happened. Yesterday evening I went walking to the office (my workplace). I work in a small family owned company, and the office building is also where my boss and his family usually stay and a few workers (it's a rather big building). anyway I usually take my dog out everyday and we go walking, and sometimes I go to the office because it's not that far away, and I stay there for a while and hang out with my bosses daughter or the workers that are my friends, and sometimes we eat together or whatever. Last night I did that but when I got there there was no one there but that guy except I didn't know it. I went into the office and he followed me and said he wanted to talk and so we went into another room and that's when he started assaulting me. I DID tell him no and to stop and I tried to stop him the whole time but he just kept going and was telling me to just let him. I really couldn't do much because he over powered me and I feel like I just gave in. but when he went too far for me (the whole thing was "too far" but anyway) is when I really tried to fight him off. I finally told him to get the **** off me and to just STOP, and he did. I left and walked home and on my way home I called him and told him never to do that again and that I didn't want any of that. He apologized to me and said "It's just i love you so much" and he said he'd never do it again and would treat me as a friend. I don't even know how to report it or whatever because part of me feels like I lead him on. I really believe he doesn't think that was wrong. I feel like I didn't do enough to fight him off and because of that he might have thought I was letting him. But what else do I have to do, I DID say NO and I did stop him everytime he tried taking my clothes off. that should be enough right? I'm really confused and dont know what to do, he did apologize to me, but how am I supposed to take that? earlier I saw him when I was leaving to go to the Worksource and he waved hi to me. wow this whole thing is messed up
I DID tell him no and to stop and I tried to stop him the whole time but he just kept going and was telling me to just let him.
Hungry,
I am so sorry that this happened to you. You are having perfectly normal reactions to what happened to you. It is common for victims to question if they did enough, if they somehow caused it, if they sent mixed messages. The bottom line is that you were raped. You said no. You said NO. I am pleading with you please please go to the hospital. Please call the police. Trust me, they have heard it all. Nothing you could say is going to surprise them or make them think less of you. Just tell the truth. It will be hard. It will be hard every time you talk about it. But please talk about it. Please please stand up for yourself. Acquaintence rape is a very traumatizing event in a person's life. It is hard to "tell on" a person who is involved in your every day life, a person who shares friends and family with you. A person who you will have to see again. But you know what? He knew that when he did it. He obviously has no fear that you are going to do anything about it, or he wouldn't have waved at you today. If he is a fully functional adult, he knows what he did was wrong. He heard you say no. He heard you say stop. He apologized, saying he couldn't help it because he loves you so much. The fact that he apologized means that he is acknowledging the fact that he was wrong. Do not blame yourself. Do not question yourself or your actions. You did nothing wrong. The bottom line is that even if you went along with all of it willingly, the second that you said no, and he didn't stop, it became rape. That is the law. I am begging you, as someone who has been there, please at least call the hotline. The people there are understanding and will not judge you. PLEASE PLEASE CALL THEM!!!
~christie
Hungry2Live, please call the police! The sooner you do something about this the less pain you will have to go through, trust me. You can't just stand by and pretend you weren't violated. And think, maybe this jerk already found a new victem to stalk! You can prevent further damage!
Anyone who I offended I'm sorry, lets drop it and not argue about weather I said the right thing or wrong thing or whatever because that would be pointless. I was just trying to be helpful, but again, I apologize to anyone who felt critisized (especially LeaLee, I wasn't meaing to question your parenting skills).
Hungry2live, itīs so sad to hear what you have been going through!
Being no US Citizen, I have no idea about help opportunities for you, but there already quite good infos from other people here on the board.
I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you. If there would be something I could do to help you, I really would do that. But unfortunately I canīt think of something....
Hungry2Live, you should definitely seek professional help, regardless of how "sorry" that jerk is. He knows he can get away with doing these things, and he's a danger to society. Please get some help... we're all thinking of you. Big hugs, sweetie.
I'm going to close this thread and start another Binge Thread (same name).
its so sad....hopefully you are feeling a little better today (although i would be a basketcase).
The water kept the alcohol from dehydrating you...I always drink at least 8 oz of water between each beer to keep hangovers away 
haven't had too many of those since i learned that trick (cept that time my hubbys friend gave me Seagrams 7 and pepsi YIKES what a hangover that morning).
