What behaviors do we need to change? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community


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Old 07-29-2006, 11:36 PM   #1  
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Default What behaviors do we need to change?

I am once again working on getting back on track with a diet—Have been feeling pretty overwhelmed with the whole thing—my attempts have once again failed and I feel I am probably up higher than I have been in a long time. In the last year I did Atkins from 1/05 to 11/05. Then I had a breakdown from work and was unable to stay on a diet, and even when I did, I didn’t lose weight. I had gone from 263-222 and was feeling really good about the loss—had a new wardrobe and everything. Now I know I am way up there and have just come back from a vacation where I ate everything in sight.

Somehow today I feel like I can do something about it. One of my friends had weight-loss surgery and has lost a bunch of weight really quickly. She had the lap band procedure. What I see is that she is eating really slowly and much smaller portions and trying to eat healthier.

This is what I am going to work on--eating slowly, chewing a lot and taking smaller bites.
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Old 07-29-2006, 11:50 PM   #2  
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My biggest change this time around is to not call what I'm doing to lose weight a "diet". If I tell myself I'm going on a diet, I freak out about every little thing I put in my mouth, and every big thing I'm not. I go on a "diet" and gain 10 lbs. If I'm not willing to do it forever, forget it.

I'm eating smaller portions of everything. I eat whatever I want, so I don't feel deprived. The stopping once I start thing is my major hurdle, and I'm facing it head on. If you eat smaller portions, you will naturally take in less calories. I try not to count anything because I just don't have the time. I estimate high.

Good luck! I'm right there with you!

Heidi
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Old 07-30-2006, 12:07 AM   #3  
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Hi and welcome. A good thread for you to read might be, The ABC's of Weight Loss, it makes a lot of good suggestions to help. Good luck to you .
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Old 07-30-2006, 01:55 AM   #4  
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I was telling a friend today that a "diet" is a period of time when you learn how to eat ANYTHING in moderation with the good things outweighing the bad things and learning to enjoy food in a balanced perspective without feeling deprived. The translation for that is we have to learn we can eat anything we want within a proper boundry. A good diet becomes a habit for life.

Today...I was out and went to McD's. I love nuggets and fries. I got a kid's meal. I had what I wanted, but I didn't go overboard. Nobody said to stop living. They just said to stop supersizing junk food everyday. Balance is key.

Currently my change is incorporating more water. Rather than try to stop drinking Diet Coke and incorporating more water at the same time, I decided to alternate. When I did it the other way, I felt like water was a punishment. Now I'm alternating (but not strictly). I put 4 water bottles in my fridge in the morning. The number 4 is not intimidating. One night I was so thirsty I reached for a 5th water bottle instead of DC (I was SHOCKED). By drinking water, DC reduces anyways. SO it is win win.

One change that is paramount when I start being committed to dieting is that I have to be in control. Journaling helps tremendously. I think this is why I haven't been ready. I haven't felt in control of anything and I was overwhelmed by many things in life. Paying attention to what you do and making concious choices requires thought and control. It's not necessarily boring or even dull. I like it once I get into it. It is nice to know I have control over something in my life!

Last but not least....Aim for PROGRESS not perfection. Journaling helps you see what your streghtns and weaknesses are. Look at it as a WHOOHOO for what you've done and something you need to tweak and find new strategies for what areas you are weak in. That's almost like a game. Have fun!

Once you get on track, concentrate less on the scale (as long as it is moving down over time..even if it stalls a little..that's okay) and more on learning habits for life. If you concentrate only on the scale, you might gain it back when you are done losing because you wouldn't have made it a thourough part of your life.
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Old 07-30-2006, 02:39 AM   #5  
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to 3FC!!! I agree with the other posters about not viewing it as a "diet" although I still use the term because I don't mind it, but I also understand I will be on my "diet" for the rest of my life. And I've only incorporated changes I KNOW I can live with for the rest of my life.

I definitely eat smaller portions, but I still haven't broken my eating fast habit, but I work on it.

You might want to go to your library and check out a few books on healthy eating. Make sure you have the knowledge to choose healthier options. And learn how to read labels as well. Get out your measuring spoons and cups too, and measure EVERYTHING you cook for yourself.

And, you knew this was coming, find an exercise you like and do it. After trying everything, I finally realized that walking is the only thing I can do consistently and I actually enjoy, and it's something I'll do for the rest of my life. Even if you don't happen to like it, just as long as you tolerate it. I always say never force yourself to do something you hate. You'll never stick with it.

Much luck and much strength.
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Old 07-30-2006, 01:04 PM   #6  
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I think many of us fail at dieting because we view it as temporary instead of permanent. We also seem to think that if we do this temporary diet-thing, we can RETURN to the lifestyle that made us fat in the first place, yet THIS time we will stay slender.
That is self-delusion on a platter! Or another definition of insanity. Let's be realistic here - it is our pre-diet lifestyle that made us fat in the first place (most of us, anyhoo!) and by "lifestyle" I mean our eating and exercise habits.
In order to shed weight and keep it off permanently we need to a) find an eating plan we can stick to for life, b) find an exercise regimen that feels more like fun than like work, c) laugh out loud every day (life is short and better spent laughing!), d) we need a support network (virtual or real, makes no difference), and e) we need to relearn what healthy is.

What healthy is NOT is any of the "whites" (white flour, white sugar, white pasta, white rice) as they have calories, are for the most part simple carbs which are metabolized as straight sugar (insulin spike anyone?), and have no nutrients to speak of.

It is extremely unfortunate that we have been brainwashed into being price-sensitive when it comes to food. If you owned a Maserati, would you put cut-rate gas in it or high test? Yet, with your one-and-only body you put in the cheapest possible ingredients. It's no wonder we have epidemic obesity, type II diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol!

**Digression**
At the turn of the 20th century, before there were hydrogentated fats, cardiovascular disease claimed 15% of all deaths. Today, it's responsible for more than 50%. Cancer claimed 3% (3!!) but today claims nearly 25% (that's one in four adults who die prematurely will die due to cancer). Estimates are that 100 years ago, 60% of Americans' fat consumption was in the form of omega 6 (corn, safflower oils and the like) and 40% in the form of omega 3 (flax, fish oil). Today however, 95% of the fats consumed by Americans is in the form of omega 6.
Hydrogenated (trans) fats are used in commercial products (cookies/cakes/crackers/salad dressings, etc) in part because when it turns rancid there is no change in taste - voila! Longer shelf life and higher profits for commercial food industry.
Hydrogenated fats have been linked to abnormal cell-wall construction, depletion of essential fatty acids, aberrant nerve tissue formation. 50-75% of all fat consumed in the US is in the form of hydrogenated fats. If you do NOTHING else to improve your health, steer clear of ALL hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated food products. Even those labeled "fat-free" or "low-cholesterol" or "low carb" are complete garbage.
**end digression**

Many of us find we keep falling off the healthier-eating bandwagon for various reasons.
Quote:
People are naturally more comfortable on Phase I/early dieting because it is structured. There are not many choices to make and they can lose weight, feel better and continue without trigger foods such as grain, dairy, etc. The difficulties arise when they are faced with choices...because in the past their choices have not led them in a healthful direction. So, many want to eat nothing or everything. It is classic black and white thinking -- the shades of gray are not apparent to them. I suggest that folks start to think in less drastic terms about their habits. Staying in balance is the key and an enormous challenge. It takes practice and a willingness to keep at it and not beat yourself up if you do go off plan now and then.... that is the human way!
In addition, emotional eaters should get their hands on two great books on the subject: Life is Hard, Food is Easy, by Linda Spangle and Taming of the Chew by Dr. Denise Lamoth.

One last thing, sometimes the road to a healthier, slender you DOES mean you have to give up <insert fave food here>. Get over it. It's THAT very food that helped turn you into an obese, moody, fatigued, bloated mega-you. Find a NEW healthier fave food.

You deserve a long healthy slender life, but YOU are the only one who can make it happen. We're here to cheer you on, so get cracking! I'm going to wait over there in the corner with my pom-pom thingies------>
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Old 07-30-2006, 02:34 PM   #7  
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Wink I feel the love!!

What a wonderful group of people--I feel really lucky to have so many smart and thoughtful persons to share my tribulations with.

Yesterday was really an amazing day for me. I stuck with my plan of eating as slow as I could and really chewing everything, taking smaller portions with the option of taking more and having exactly what I want with the idea of making it as healthy as I could. Also sipping instead of gulping.

I found myself really enjoying the food much more--tasting things on a deeper level. There were some flavors I really didnt like as much as I thought--diet cola being one. I went to the store and had fun buying some items that are usually forbidden on the diet but were in small prepackaged sizes--chips and cookies, as well as getting healthy fruits and veggies. I like the idea of having treat foods available in small containers--if I can find some coke or fanta in those mini-cans I would like that.

Another thing was that I noticed I was not finishing things--particularly drinks--I got a small latte from Starbucks--usually I get a grande--and I drank it slowly--I usually finish one of those in about 3 minutes. 20 minutes later I had drunk about 3/4 of it and didnt want any more. Same with a diet soda and tea that I ended up throwing away part of.

I did one really long walk--too long because I have shin splints--and one shorter one. Today I am icing my shins and hoping I will be up for more tomorrow.

The common thread I heard from everyone was eating what you want--just sensibly. After almost a year on Atkins, that makes sense to me. I have this really all-or nothing approach to "diet" that doesnt make sense.

Heidi said:"I'm eating smaller portions of everything. I eat whatever I want, so I don't feel deprived."--Right on Heidi! Lets do it!

Deafinitely smart said: "Paying attention to what you do and making concious choices requires thought and control. It's not necessarily boring or even dull. I like it once I get into it. It is nice to know I have control over something in my life! Last but not least....Aim for PROGRESS not perfection. Journaling helps you see what your streghtns and weaknesses are." That's just so right--I think bringing consciousness to bear on the problem is so key. And Journaling is great--if confrontive. Also I agree about the water--I notice sometimes what I think is hunger is actually thirst.

Harpo says:"Get out your measuring spoons and cups too, and measure EVERYTHING you cook for yourself." Thanks for the reminder--it is so easy to eat way more than you need when you are used to way overeating the way I have for the last few months. Measuring brings a sense of perspective.

csoar says: "You deserve a long healthy slender life, but YOU are the only one who can make it happen. We're here to cheer you on, so get cracking! I'm going to wait over there in the corner with my pom-pom" That is so nice--I appreciate all you advice and definitely will look up those books--they sound great!


I am looking forward to getting to know you all and learning more about how you are changing your behavior--that is what I want to focus on not the food!

PS--lost three lbs since yesterday--that tells you how much I was eating before!
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Old 07-30-2006, 02:57 PM   #8  
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Way to go Snowbrocade! 3 lbs!
I think the turning point for me was getting up and moving this lump of myself around. I agree with finding something you like. I have come to love walking. I used to grumble when I walked 1 mile, hurt like the dickens and sweated like a pig. Now I'm doing anywhere from 6-12 miles a day and I love it. I make time for it everyday. I plan it. When I don't feel like it, I get up and go anyway. Along with eating healthier and drinking 8 or more glasses of water a day, it was the single best decision that I could make to help me to become a more healthy me. I've even signed up for a 5K walk in September. My goal is to try running when I get to 150 lbs. ( My secret ambition!!)
Good luck to you and come to this site for support, it is here, 24/7.
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Old 07-30-2006, 03:00 PM   #9  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowbrocade
PS--lost three lbs since yesterday--that tells you how much I was eating before!


Whoo HOO! Be sure to journal for a while so you can learn how much is too much of a good thing.
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Old 07-30-2006, 03:21 PM   #10  
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Default goals and walking

Exquisitern:

Thanks for that--I love the idea of walking 6-12 miles a day! Right now I could probably do two--but I have a problem because I live in a very hilly area and I have knee problems and shinsplints--I think some of that will clear up when I am lighter but after walking one mile yesterday on a very steep hill all my aches and pains are acting up. I need to find a flat place to walk!

Deafinly: Thanks--I know--I ate 1600 calories yesterday so I definitely was not starving--and I didnt feel starving--I ate exactly what I wanted just very slow and very small bites. I love the journaling--here is my goals from my journal yesterday:



1. Eat as slowly and mindfully as I can--aim to chew 10-20 times at least for each mouthful. Make the mouthfuls small as possible. Make the portions as small as possible, take less, try to take half of what I would normally serve myself. Sip, dont gulp.

2. Eat healthily--make sure to get at least 5 servings of fruit and veggies per day--work up to 8.

3. Challenge myself with exercise at least 5x per week--ice 2x per day and stretch

4. Notice when I am thinking about food and substitute the feeling of how nice it is to fit in cool clothing and feel light and strong.

5. Make sure to do nice self-care things for myself--and not have to add overindulgence as part of it.

6. Write everyday to see how I am doing with each part of this!
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Old 07-30-2006, 05:02 PM   #11  
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Snobrocade: One of my favorite ways to walk is with Leslie Sansone walk videos, they start at some very basic 1 mile levels and you can advance yourself and avoid those painful shin splints. I still do a large portion of my walks with her videos. I bought a lot of them very cheaply off of E-bay. I have an 8 year old daughter, so I can't just run off whenever I want and this allows me to walk in the comfort of my own home with my nightgown on if I so choose.
The best time to stretch is after you walk or exercise when the muscles are warm.
Good luck, sound like you are motivated.
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Old 07-31-2006, 08:27 AM   #12  
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I'm way behind with my reading here this morning so if I have a thought, I'm posting the 'short answer' ... lucky you! I can get kinda wordy sometimes.

I needed to address my sense of entitlement ... what I deserved.
Many years ago, I worked a four hour shift in the mornings. I collected groceries, a few each day and carried them home on my way. I often added a chocolate bar .... because I deserved it. I had three small children, I worked, I had to walk because I had no car .... I deserved a treat, right?
Did I really deserve a bundle of empty calories wrapped in chemical bindings?
No ... what I would have deserved was a nice fresh fruit smoothie with clean fat free protein .....
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Old 07-31-2006, 09:44 AM   #13  
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So far (and I hope I can keep it up), a couple of things I have done to maintain have been to remember that "Every meal doesn't have to be a feast" and to eat lightly when I have control over it (which is most of the time) so that when I'm in social situations I can relax a bit b/c I might not have control over what's available. I guess this creates some kind of balance and moderation. Not a "well I blew it so I give up" sort of mentality, but more like "Okay, so I ate a bit heavily today, so tomorrow, when I don't go to a restaurant, and I eat at home, I should go easy on the intake".
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Old 07-31-2006, 10:47 AM   #14  
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Default Overeating?

Yesterday was day two and it was much harder! I got pretty hungry at one point. I ended up having about 2000 calories--and that was with effort! At one point I had beef broth because I was still hungry but had eaten a lot already.

I think looking back I should have had more water--I didnt have enough yesterday and I think it would have helped. Still I kept consistent with eating slowly--mostly--one time I had half a potato and it was gone!

Thanks for your post Susan--I know exactly what you mean--I feel that way when I have been under stress--the indicator is my sense of discomfort not whether I am truly hungry or not.

Lipidful--I like how you think--developing that sense of balance, like you say every meal does not need to be a feast--but when a feast is available you dont need to starve you can enjoy it.
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Old 08-01-2006, 10:55 AM   #15  
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Default Day Four of mindful eating!

I continue to be amazed at how this way of approaching weight loss is transformative. Yesterday I went to the beach with the dog and my hubby and then after errands etc we went to eat at a local mexican chicken place. We decided to split a burrito. I had a few chips and by the time I had finished eating say 6-8 chips, my hubby had downed his whole meal. I continued to eat slowly and mindfully and got my hubby to talk to me while I finished. I probably took 10-15 minutes. I realized that we had gotten out of the habit of talking to one another when we eat--mostly we just bolt our food and watch tv.

I had a chat with him and told him I thought we should work on our meals together and eat slowly and mindfully and talk to one another--make meals an opportunity for us to spend time together.

so we planned our dinner--corn with italian sausage and tomatoes. Together we set up a table to look out the window--we have been eating on the couch watching tv. We set it up with a nice table cloth and cloth napkins. I put out a plate of celery with olives, ice water with lime. We started by eating these and talking. Then we had our main course. We had a great and fun conversation and I felt satisfied both with food and with my relationship. We talked some more about why this way of having dinner was a good idea. My hubby said that when he was a kid that he considered meals an interruption to what he was doing--he bolted his food so he could go back outside to play. I pointed out that the meal is part of what he is doing now--having a relationship with me. It was a great conversation.

We’ll see how it goes today. I am down another pound so I know I am on the right track!

Calories were 1673 and exercise--was probably 40 minutes of walking.
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