Together we set up a table to look out the window--we have been eating on the couch watching tv. We set it up with a nice table cloth and cloth napkins. I put out a plate of celery with olives, ice water with lime. We started by eating these and talking. Then we had our main course. We had a great and fun conversation and I felt satisfied both with food and with my relationship.
Well another good day working on my behaviors--and a big payoff--lost another three pounds. I had some phases of big cravings but remembered to drink lots of water--I felt like I was cleansing a lot--in the bathroom a lot too. Still eating was a bit difficult and I was hungry a lot. I had around 1800 cals and was thinking I would not lose any weight--imagine when I got on the scales this morning and I was down another three pounds! I guess I better enjoy this quick weight loss now at the beginning because I know it slows down after the first 10-15 lbs. So that is 7.5 lbs in four days. I do love it! so lets see, that is 7.5 down, 88 to go!
I am really hooked on this way of approaching my weight. It makes my life easier. I realized yesterday that overeating makes me spend so much time thinking about food--it is like another relationship in my life. I suppose that is why I have gone on so many strict diets before--that is kinda like a break-up! What I am doing now is working on changin the relationship which means I have to deal with my thoughts and cravings in a new way. It gets irritating sometimes to be thinking about food so much--I do have other things to think about! Believe it or not.
I have an MRI on my knee tomorrow--didnt exercise yesterday. I think I will work on exercising every other day for now and then work up to every day. But must figure out what is going on with the knee.
Hope everyone is doing well--would love to hear more about what behaviors others are working with.
My family and I went through a period of not eating at the table together. About a year ago we started sitting down to most dinners, complete with setting the table and saying grace. My 3 year old says "Father is good, Amen!" It is the only time of the day when ALL of us are together and talking. This approached has also increased their willingness to eat new things (introduced slowly). It also gives us a time to work on table manners. (I'm still trying to get my husband to understand it is okay to be funny but not okay to be just inappropriately goofy at the table because we are trying teach our kids manners). Some nights I would rather not do this. I want to go to my bedroom, sit on the computer, eat in front of the TV. I don't and the blessing is I learn more about my children, I have a chance to teach them how to grow up in a blessed way, and my husband and I (GASP) talk! We have to sit there until the youngest one is done. I have plenty of time to stretch my food out. My only problem is sometimes I want that second bowl SO bad. I tell myself to put it up and if I still want it an hour later, go ahead. Last night I did that. Today at lunch, I ate that "2nd bowl" from last night. I didn't need it after an hour of not seeing or smelling it.
Snow, I lost rapidly in the beginning like that, too. People in my TOPS group thought I was being drastic, but I never thought so, considering that 8 pounds in one week is not that much on a 316-pound woman. Every now and then I still have a big-loss week, but I'm more steadily losing about 1-2 pounds a week now.
I find that between shopping, cooking, meal planning, and exercise, my health initiative is like a part-time job! I used to not care and get fast food - cheaper, less time-consuming, and quick.
Phantastica--thanks for you post. I know--8 pounds is nothing--especially at the rate that I can put it on--I could easily gain 5 lbs in one day. Gosh--I remember one time I lost 8 lbs in one day when I had been eating a lot the day before. Most of that for me I think is water and just all the excess food passing through the intestines--right now I am eating probably half to a third of what I was eating when I was out-of-control, so the weight of the food alone makes a big deal.
I think you and I are at similar weights now and have about the same goals for our weight loss--do you have a plan for how long it will take? What is TOPS anyway?
Deaf--I loved your story--that makes so much sense. It is so easy in our modern culture to get tuned out and watch tv and just not be with other people--and family is the most important thing. I dont have kids but if I did I know I would make family dinner a priority. And I agree totally with your technique--if you want more then you can but have it in an hour. That totally makes sense. I want to add drink a bunch of water too because that helps.
My husband is naturally taciturn--he has bursts of talking but he can go hours with not saying anything. I realized in this process that I have been kinda intimidated by this and get quiet too. I have started talking more--because that is who I am. And he responds to me talking more. Getting mad at him because he is quiet has not worked.
I don't really plan out a goal timeline. I am just happy and thankful that it's coming off, that I'm able to do this. I've lost 65 pounds in 9 months. I thought it would go faster than this, but I'll take what I can get in terms of weight loss! I tend to lose for a few weeks, then have a noticeable gain one week. I'm working on stabilizing those "screw it" weeks, so I'm consistently losing instead of down-down-up. At the rate I'm going, I'm expecting to be at goal weight maybe by next summer.
My doctor said that slowly taking weight off allows the excess/saggy skin a better chance to adjust. If that's a benefit of losing weight slowly, I'm quite happy with that.
TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly) is an inexpensive nonprofit weight-loss group. It's worth checking out. It's about a tenth of the cost of Weight Watchers, but not as stringent as Overeaters Anonymous. There's a TOPS board here on 3FC (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=60), but it's not terribly active.
I think losing 65 lbs in 9 months is fantastic! Last year I was dieting pretty seriously for 9 months and lost about 40lbs. I lost pretty slowly ultimately--I may a few big whooshes but then I stall badly--that is why I am trying to eat more this time--dont want the metabolism to slow down.
That is what I am saying! It all comes down to eating in a way that is healthy and make sense. Not eating everytime something bad happens or I dont feel comfortable. Gosh--being overweight is so uncomfortable--I hate not fitting into seats on the airplane or bus--I just came back from a great vacation to England--the seats on the airplan were pure torture. I had the seat belt all the way to max and barely made it because I had to sit kinda sideways to get into the seat--embarassing and bad for my back.
so it gets to the point that emotional eating for me is to take care of the pain of being overweight--talk about a spiral!
Day 8--yesterday was a hard day but i was able to perservere. My Hubby is into it now and was able to prompt me at the dinner table when I started eating faster.
I just want to keep going--8 lbs in one week tells me I am doing the right thing.
Deaf--I loved your story--that makes so much sense. It is so easy in our modern culture to get tuned out and watch tv and just not be with other people--and family is the most important thing. I dont have kids but if I did I know I would make family dinner a priority. And I agree totally with your technique--if you want more then you can but have it in an hour. That totally makes sense. I want to add drink a bunch of water too because that helps.
My husband is naturally taciturn--he has bursts of talking but he can go hours with not saying anything. I realized in this process that I have been kinda intimidated by this and get quiet too. I have started talking more--because that is who I am. And he responds to me talking more. Getting mad at him because he is quiet has not worked.
I wanted to add that I RARELY go back for the second helping in an hour. I do have a small snack later in the night (I have meds issue). It helps me by being able to say "I'm not saying NO, I'm saying WAIT." I have improved TONS on water. I now consistently drink 64+ fl. oz of water per day. I tried to reduce my diet coke thinking that was keeping me from drinking water. I felt rebellious and deprived and that strategy works for some but didn't work for me. Then I changed it. I put 4 bottles of water in my mini fridge. My goal is to drink those. 4 is not an intimidating number. By saying I CAN do it rather than I CAN'T have something, I've improved. Now I have less DC as a byproduct of having extra fluid from somewhere else, but I dont' feel deprived.
My husband is not a talker either. He is a computer geek. It's what pays our bills. Drives me crazy when he is at home, but after 11 years I've learned other ways. We have text messenging devices (sidekicks) and we use AOL instant messenger. I still talk with him at the dinner table or if we need serious discussions but I am flabbergasted at how much that man can talk on instant messegner! LMBO!
Snowbrocade, it sounds like you are doing great!! I like your avatar. Is it Gustav Klimt? It reminds me of The Kiss.
What behaviors do I need to change? I need to learn to get through highly emotional times -- experiencing the loss of a love, specifically -- without looking to food to fill what feels like an emotional void. I must be doing something right because I seldom crave unhealthy foods these days and I'm glad for that, yet I can't seem to pull together the mojo to get my tush out and exercise consistently. One step at a time ... eating correctly is working.
My son and I communicate a ton on IM, even when he's in the next room. It's easier to IM "turn the music down!" or "time for bed, sweets" than it is to yell through the room and over the stereo.
A friend of mine was so hesitate to try journaling. That seemed like so much work. She was mastering eating better quality food but she wasn't really measuring and learning about portions and total it up to see how it adds up. I made this statement and she started trying: No matter what you choose to eat or how much of it, at least be educated about it. From fast food, restuarant choices, to what you cook in your kitchen you can make whatever choices you want to make (it is for life) but be educated. Don't let what you don't know trip you up. I sometimes make bad choices, but I at least acknowledge what I know about it before I eat it. Most of the time that means I won't eat it.
My biggest hurdle, but most important behavioral change has been to stop making excuses and take responsiblity for what I put in my mouth. I know that lots of people suffer from emotional eating. I am not one of them, despite years of claiming to be. The fact of the matter is that I didn't just overeat medicate the "bad" feelings (sad, lonely, angry) I overate period. I overate when I was happy, excited, or when I was feeling nothing at all. In fact, I LOOKED for reasons to overeat. And if one didn't exist, I created something. I wanted to eat as I pleased without it being my fault that I was fat. So I invented reasons that I had to overeat, deserved to overeat. The whole thing was a farce.
The second most important change I've made (and continue to struggle with) is getting rid of my "all or nothing" attitude. I've always been convinced that losing weight and keeping it off is the result of a change in lifestyle as opposed to a temporary diet. However, I also related a lifestyle change with perfection. If one meal, one snack, one entire day, was off track then my entire "lifestyle" was over. It just doesn't work that way. Every bite is another chance to get it right. A poor food choice here and there isn't going to negate the thousands of healthy meals I intend to have over the course of my lifetime. I do not have to give up all together just because I gave up at one meal. And, I can CHOOSE to eat less than perfectly on occasion and still lose weight. There will always be special occasions, there will always be some situations when the extra calories will be worth losing half a pound one week vs. a full pound, or be worth an extra hour on the treadmill. The key, for me, has been to view these times as the CHOICE they are. Nothing is forced upon me and I have the tools to make rational decisions for myself. And, sometimes, the rational decision isn't going to involve perfectly clean eats or a certain number of calories for the day. And that is perfectly okay.
Finally, I didn't get to 214 pounds overnight. Losing weight takes time. Once I my expectations were reasonable much of the anxiety created by trying to lose weight completely disappeared.
