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Old 05-20-2006, 10:01 AM   #1  
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Angry It's just easier to give up!

I feel guilty for posting only when I need support but.. well...I seriously do need it...
I hit an all time low, I'm just mad and frustrated and feel like giving up because it's just so hard!
I've practically been on a diet for the past 10 years. Not that I follow through I know but it's just hard and frustrating and "slowly but surely" doesn't give you the motivation you need and will power is over-rated!
I tried low carb, I counted calories, I exercised and lifted weight but I just can't do it anymore!
It's hard being the one watching what I eat when people around me eat what they want and still be thin. It's hard to push myself to go for my daily walks when my friends don't do anything and still be thin. It's hard wearing double the dress size of my friends when I'm working so hard.
I don't think I'll ever be a success story. I don't think I'll ever be able to lose weight. I just don't know what more to do!!
There's more to life than this weight-loss obsession. If I'm healthy than so what if I'll never look good in certain clothes? So what if I wont be able to shop anywhere? So what if I'll be the fattest in every crowd I scan? So what if I'll be the fat daughter/sister/neice/cousin/friend/aunt for the rest of my life? SO WHAT?
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Old 05-20-2006, 10:06 AM   #2  
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I think its best if you do not look at your thin friends that eat everything and anything they please. If you keep on with your plan and eventually lose all the weight you want, it'll be more satisfying! Think of it as hard work soon to be accomplished!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BornConfuzed
I don't think I'll ever be a success story. I don't think I'll ever be able to lose weight. I just don't know what more to do!!
There's more to life than this weight-loss obsession. If I'm healthy than so what if I'll never look good in certain clothes
With that negativity, you'll only make it harder for yourself. That's just one thing you don't need.

You are right- there's more to life than this weightloss obsession- some are so bothered by their weight it makes them feel this way and if you are healthy, you don't NEED to lose weight. You can't tell much about health in weight (unles a lot abdominal fat is present) sometimes. I knew a man who was obese but still very healthy! If you feel you need to let go of this "diet" thing then its best to do it to get on with your life. (That is, provided you ARE healthy)
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Old 05-20-2006, 10:30 AM   #3  
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"There's more to life than this weight-loss obsession."

Perhaps that's the problem... You are obsessing. Try to think of it as a lifestyle choice. Take little steps along the way. Rejoice in the small victories. It's like watching a pot of water boil. If you take your eyes off the water, it boils.

Think of your overall goals as healthy goals, rather than scale weight goals. For example, one of my early goals was to limit chocolate to once a week. Now I haven't had chocolate for nearly a year.

For me, it's been a learning journey. I have learned what my body is capable of doing, where are the weak points I need to control. Granted, a big part of that journey was exercise (as well as diet). I am thrilled when I can add another rep or a little more weight on the bar, or add another interval to my cardio.

No, I am not at my goal weight and I may never reach it. BUT I won't ever go back to what I was before. Last night I pigged out on tostitos, cheese and salsa. Man, it was good, but it won't happen again for a few months.

If you can live right for 80% of the time, don't sweat the other 20%.
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Old 05-20-2006, 10:42 AM   #4  
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Wait, you are a success story!! You have lost 22lbs!! Hey if it came easy we wouldn't be in this predicament, we'd be thin and on the beach drinking mai tai's with the cabana boy!!! It's okay to struggle. It's even okay to want to throw in the towel every now and then. But remember that you have proven that you are stronger than any thini mini out there, because you have fought what they will never know, and won!!
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Old 05-20-2006, 10:58 AM   #5  
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Is it easier to give up, really?

Is it easier to ask for the seatbelt extender on an airplane?
Is it easier to avoid going to the doctor because you may be lectured about your weight?
Is it easier to avoid parties and celebrations because you don't have clothes that fit, and you can't make yourself go try to find SOMETHING that does?
Is it easier to 'not notice' the reproachful glances and stares you get when you go to a restaurant?

Is it REALLY easier? Or do you just need to find an approach that works better for you? Think long and hard about it.
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Old 05-20-2006, 11:08 AM   #6  
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Sorry you are feeling so down. We all have days when we want to throw in the towel. The thin friends you describe that eat whatever they want probably won't always get away with it. That used to be me. Definitely isn't that way anymore. I encourage you to write a list on the pros and cons of weight loss and see what you come up with. We probably all obsess too much about our weight, but for me if it's out of mind, it's hard to stay focused. Set a time limit, give yourself 2 weeks to really try hard to lose some more and see how proud you are. You have already lost 22 lbs. and that is a great accomplishment. Best wishes.
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Old 05-20-2006, 11:12 AM   #7  
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Taking off 22# is great work. Unfortunately most of us have to do things differently as we get closer and closer to normal weight. I can no longer get away with dieting 5-days/week and still make progress.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BornConfuzed
Not that I follow through I know but it's just hard and frustrating and "slowly but surely" doesn't give you the motivation you need and will power is over-rated!
Will power can be developed. I started a regular exercise regimen before i started dieting and I think it has helped me build up the will power to diet sucessfully. Now I have to dig deeper to break my current plateau and reach my goal weight.
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Old 05-20-2006, 11:33 AM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arenace
Hey if it came easy we wouldn't be in this predicament, we'd be thin and on the beach drinking mai tai's with the cabana boy!!!
What I wouldn't give to do that right about now.


We've all been there, trust me. I've been going through something similiar for the past week. My weight loss has stalled for the past 2 1/2 months. Ouch! It gets very frustrating, but I've never really given up. For me there is no option of going back to the way I was. I got fed up with myself. I had to change because I got to the point where I couldn't stand myself anymore. So I made my goals to be healthy and to be in better shape. I do want to lose weight, but that isn't the main reason why I want to change.

Last Tuesday I was in tears all day because for the 10th week in a row I hadn't lost anything and felt like I was fighting a lost cause. My husband gave me a much deserved kick to the booty. With some tough love he helped me see how obsessed I was being and how far off my original goals I had gotten. This isn't just something I can quit. There is nothing to quit. My body size doesn't really matter in the long run. It's how I feel about myself that matters. And to tell you the truth I am pretty darn proud of myself for changing my eating habits into eating healthy and being able to exercise and do fun activities without getting as winded. I've been able to run a mile. Something I've never been able to do, not even in high school PE class. So I am pretty proud of myself for what I've been able to accomplish and stick with.

You need to look at where you've come from. Look at what your goals really are and what you want out of this experience. You are not going to be like everyone else. Everyone is different and I'm sure there are areas that your friends feel different than you and don't like that. But isn't that the great part of being human? Being different than everyone else?

If you want some tough love, then let me know. I'll be here to kick you in the butt when you need it and remind you that you are important enough to go through all this. You are important enough for all the "hassle" you feel. You are important enough to take care of.

One of my favorite sayings is this... "We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same." Unknown Which do you want to do????
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Old 05-20-2006, 11:36 AM   #9  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BornConfuzed
I feel guilty for posting only when I need support but.. well...I seriously do need it...
I hit an all time low, I'm just mad and frustrated and feel like giving up because it's just so hard!
I've practically been on a diet for the past 10 years. Not that I follow through I know but it's just hard and frustrating and "slowly but surely" doesn't give you the motivation you need and will power is over-rated!
I tried low carb, I counted calories, I exercised and lifted weight but I just can't do it anymore!
It's hard being the one watching what I eat when people around me eat what they want and still be thin. It's hard to push myself to go for my daily walks when my friends don't do anything and still be thin. It's hard wearing double the dress size of my friends when I'm working so hard.
I don't think I'll ever be a success story. I don't think I'll ever be able to lose weight. I just don't know what more to do!!
There's more to life than this weight-loss obsession. If I'm healthy than so what if I'll never look good in certain clothes? So what if I wont be able to shop anywhere? So what if I'll be the fattest in every crowd I scan? So what if I'll be the fat daughter/sister/neice/cousin/friend/aunt for the rest of my life? SO WHAT?
Yes, it is easier to just give up. I'm not being sarcastic, it truly is easier to give up. However, there are consequences to "giving up"... are you willing to accept them?

You mentioned a few: being fattest in the room, always being the "fat friend", limited shopping opportunities... Other posters mentioned a few more. As long as you're basically healthy (good BP, good cholesterol, no heart issues, able to live life without always being out-of-breath, etc.), are you willing to live with the weight and all that comes with it? In my opinion (others probably disagree), it's ok to answer "yes" to that question.

It's tough having this uncooperative body, I know. You do what you're supposed to be doing (most of the time) and the body just doesn't do its part, at least not as well or as fast as it should. It's like your body didn't read the script.

It's doubly hard when you're surrounded by natural skinnies (try being married to one... oy). They do NOTHING and yet they are rewarded with what we work so hard for (and often don't get). They don't exercise. They eat cookies ALL DAY LONG. And they gain, maybe 10 pounds in 25 years. Frustrating, when you can just look at a cookie and gain 10 pounds in 25 minutes.

And they don't always "get theirs in the end", like the fantasy says they should. They don't necessarily pork up at age 30 or 40 or 50 or with the birth of their kids. Sometimes, they stay skinny right through old age ((looks at her great-aunt)). And they haven't done one dad-blasted thing to "deserve" it! It's just not fair.

But this is the hand we've been dealt. It's lousy. It's tough to deal with. It's stinks because our issue is on display 100% of the time. And it's far easier to give up than to continue to push along a path that seemingly has no end. So, I come back to the question I asked earlier: if you give up, are you willing to live with the results?

Oh, by the way, you've already lost 22 pounds -- brava, dear! And you're only 46 pounds from your goal. I'm willing to hazard a guess that you're nowhere near being the "fattest thing in the room" everywhere you go. Heck, I wish I was just 46 pounds from goal!
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Old 05-20-2006, 12:18 PM   #10  
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It's hard to struggle along when it doesn't seem like there's any progress. Watching everyone around you seemingly breeze along with no problems or struggles. I don't have any easy answers. Don't let outside appearances fool you. Thinness isn't the same as health or good habits. Obviously you're doing something right- you've lost 22 pounds. If you give up now, you could regain it back. Don't give up!
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Old 05-20-2006, 12:18 PM   #11  
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I forgot to ask you something.

If you give up, are you willing to gain weight? Are you willing to spend the rest of your live slowly gaining weight and wishing you would have at least stayed at the weight you currently are? I know I'm not.

I really do want you to succeed. I think maybe I am being tough because part of me is talking to myself. It's like the old saying, "I hurt you because I care." I really do care and want you to feel good about yourself and stop being so hard on yourself.
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Old 05-20-2006, 12:29 PM   #12  
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I am the queen of giving up. I have started, given up and restarted more times than I can count on both hands and feet. The first time I started and then quit I was 250 pounds....I'm now at 307. Are you willing to quit and let those 22 pounds that you have lost come right back with another 25 pound more? If you are, go ahead and stop. But it's not worth the health risk. You're doing something right...you've already lost 22 pounds. Just a couple days ago I wanted to quit....find a friend to keep in touch with and keep you accountable. It has definitely helped me. Don't give up...you'll make it.
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Old 05-21-2006, 03:15 AM   #13  
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No, it's not easier to give up I know!
I know I have to lose weight, for vanity or health reasons, for all the "if I were thin I would've/could've" and "when I am thin I will", for all the opportunities I missed because of my weight, I know I have to do it, and there is no easy way out!

I know if I give up now, I'll just gain the 22 pounds I lost and some more, then start the journey again! It's a vicious cycle and I have to break it sooner or later. Even if I am physically fit, emotionally and psychologically this whole weight issue is taking a tremendous toll on me,and that's not healthy!

Thank you all for your support. I don't know what I would've done if it werent for this forum!
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Old 05-21-2006, 02:08 PM   #14  
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I think there's more to live than weight loss obsession too. I know it can be a fine line between paying attention to what I eat, making sure I get the right amount of exercise and having my emotional well being ruled by the number on the scale and the caloric value of every ounce of food I put in my mouth.

I owe it to myself to adopt a healthy lifestyle and to get into good physical condition. I'm not going to create a lifestyle that I feel mentally tortures me. I don't think losing weight means being mentally tortured, but I think it can. I have my ups and downs too, no question about it, but the lbs are droping slowly but surely, the habits are getting better, I feel so much better physically and mentally.

I don't think there are many people that can eat what they want and be thin. Also, being thin does not necessarily equal being healthy.

Hang in there, I know you'll find your way.
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