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Old 03-21-2005, 01:29 AM   #1  
I'm doing it this time!
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Default I'm probably just going to give up

I've been coming here for years for support, but I should just throw in the towel and be content with being fat. Whenever I hear what others are doing to lose weight, I know I can't do that. The biggest obsticle for me is fruits and veggies. Fruits give me stomach pains. I avoid them. I hate raw veggies to the point I almost throw up when I eat them. I avoid them too. I'll eat some cooked veggies, but not for a between meal snack or for a major portion of a meal. I can't cook, (I'm a busy working mom of 2) so I eat salads and cooked veggies at restaurants. But of course if I go there, too many temptations to eat badly.

Whenever I read or hear advice on losing weight, I have never heard it can be done without eating tons and tons of healthy fruits and veggies. I've often been told just to force myself to eat them. Oh great. Go the rest of my life with stomach cramps, feeling sick all the time, and throwing up. I'd rather be fat than do this. I love food. I love foods that taste good to me. This makes me happy. Just the thought of going the rest of my life worring about every little thing that goes into my mouth drives me insane. I want to lose this 40 lbs of unwanted fat, but not at the expense of my happiness. Eating foods I hate will depress me to no end. At this point, it just all doesn't seem worth it. Being thin isn't enough to make me happy.

I envy those of you who can stand, and even enjoy fruits and veggies. You are very lucky. Good luck to all of you.


Last edited by doIlookfat?; 03-21-2005 at 01:58 AM.
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Old 03-21-2005, 02:46 AM   #2  
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I can totally understand how you feel, we've been there before! Sometimes you don't have to dive into a new eating plan, or make dramatic changes to your diet. Maybe instead of changing what you eat, you can look at how much you eat. Portion control is a problem for many of us, and helped us become overweight in the first place. If you can cut your portions by 10, 20 or 25%, you'll make a huge impact on your total calories consumed, and you'll notice the difference before long. Aim for a slow and steady weight loss.

Restaurants just plain serve too much food. Order your usual favorites, but ask them for a carryout container and put aside part for lunch tomorrow. If it's cheap fillers, like pasta, push aside what you shouldn't eat, and drown it in black pepper and salt, so you won't be tempted to eat it all. Share a plate with someone else. There are a lot of little tricks you can use so you still get to enjoy your favorite foods, but you just eat less of them.

Many people lose weight without ever going on a diet, but just by cutting back. And of course exercise works wonders, and is always the other half of any healthy program.

One of the reasons I never did well on a "diet" was because of my habits, lifestyle, and personal tastes. I'm very independent, and I like to do things my way. I've tried most of the diets, just so I will understand them, but have never found one that I wanted to stick to for the rest of my life. I don't munch on raw vegetables. Some people love that, but I don't. So I don't force myself to eat something i don't enjoy. Some people try very hard to eat non-fat versions of everything, to save a few calories. I usually prefer the real thing, but in smaller portions. Touch my carbs, and you'll lose a finger. Though I eat healthier overall, I don't believe in forbidden foods. I practice portion control. And I exercise.

I do try to fit more veggies into my diet, but once you experiment with them, then it becomes easier. I'm currently hooked on slow roasted grape tomatoes with tilapia fish (my own recipe). I love roasted green beans, well seasoned with worcestershire sauce, a little olive oil, kosher salt, and fresh cracked black pepper. Roast till shriveled, then clean your plate I love salads, and like to use fresh baby spinach instead of lettuce. Add a chopped apple, some blue cheese, walnuts, and a good quality light balsamic vinaigrette, such as T.Marzetti. I make a spinach casserole, using chopped spinach, cottage cheese, parmesan, and eggs. It makes a great side dish, as well as an out-of-the-ordinary breakfast.

You can add fruit to your diet without sitting down to an apple or orange. I love to make smoothies, with berries and yogurt. Yum, your kids will fight you over them I love sliced bananas in my cereal. I like chopped tropical fruits with a yogurt dressing.

I would really like to suggest that you don't give up, but just try to make small changes instead. Small steps can go a long way! A popular book, Change One, recommends making one small change every week. For example, try to eat a better breakfast. That's all you need to think about - just eat a healthier breakfast, no matter what else you eat the rest of the day. Do this every day for a week or two. Next, try to eat a healthier lunch, too.

I used to live restaurant food, and that's one of the reasons I became overweight. I lost weight on frozen diet dinners, because it was so much easier than cooking for one. But I love cooking now, and eat healthier than I ever have.

Please don't give up on yourself. It's ok to give up on traditional dieting, but you can still become healthier and happier by making small changes. In six months if you are still 40 lbs overweight, you'll probably feel worse than you do right now. Take small steps. Just don't give up on yourself

good luck!!
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Old 03-21-2005, 06:52 AM   #3  
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What about the 1/2 life style here is what you do, eat what ever you normally eat and love but eat half only, sooner or later you will not want to chuck out the rest of the meal so you will have adjusted to the different portion. It is hard at first but it will only take a week to adapt and once you have adapted thats it too easy. But at the end of the day if you are comfortable and happy then good for you, when your happy inside everyone see you shine on the outside, but if you would like to maybe lose a little weight then don't let anything stop you. I stay away from programmes that are restricting, like no potatoes, no bread becuase i know it is not an option for me I stick to 1200 -1500 cal a day and walk, it's working. I think you may just be having a bad day hon, chin up you will SUCCEED!! no time limits but you will get there one day.
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Old 03-21-2005, 09:25 AM   #4  
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I agree 100% with what everyone has said here so far. I didn't eat many fruits and veggies as a child-except during the late summer and early fall when my parents and grandparents harvested from their gardens. Through the rest of the year it was mostly meat and potatoes meals.

I would like to add a few suggestions about the fruits and vegetables. First-if you don't normally eat them, and then all of a sudden start eating them-YES-you will have stomach discomfort. There is a good reason for this. If you normally eat a lot of breads, pastas, mashed potatoes-and things like this for side dishes-these foods are easy to digest due to their processing. Refined starches (like crackers, most breads, etc.) are processed so the digestive system does not have to do all of the work. Frosted Flakes are easier to digest than oatmeal, fruit juices are a lot easier to digest than whole fruit-because the processing strips most of the "work" out of it. When you are not used to eating a lot of "whole" foods-your digestive tract gets "lazy". Processed foods and simple carbohydrates go through the digestive tract much quicker, you burn less calories while digesting them, and they actually cause more changes in your blood sugar and insluin production than complex carbs and whole foods.

I recommend a few strategies for getting your digestive tract "back in shape". Start slowly. Start with a fruit that has a little less "roughage". Add a banana once a day into your routine. See how you feel. If you experience any discomfort or bloating-take a Beano supplement-that can help with the gas produced from digesting fruit and vegetables.

If you find that after a week of the daily banana, that your stomach is feeling decent, then add in a small serving of vegetables to your day. It can be a small salad, or a couple slices of tomato-whatever vegetable that YOU prefer. (Just because another dieter eats tons of broccoli doesn't mean that you have to.)

Slowly work at having a serving of fruit, and a serving of veggies a day for a while-get your stomach used to it. What you are essentially training your digestive system to do, is to do it's job again-rather than eating a lot of refined, processed, "already half digested by machinery" types of foods.

The next step would be to switch from white rice to brown if you eat rice...or switch from regular white or wheat bread to WHOLE wheat or WHOLE grain bread-which is less refined. Go slowly-you are working on eating less refined carbs here and more complex carbs-they take longer to digest, are more nutritious, and don't cause the spikes in blood sugar and insluin production in the body.

I also think a lot of people when it comes to fruits and vegetables don't branch out. I see people in the stores buying the same old iceburg lettuce, bunch of bananas, etc. and they never branch out and try different things. After a month or so of consistently eating 2 servings a day of fruits and/or vegetables-start branching out and trying something new. As an adult I have found that I don't really care for the traditional red delicious apples I always had as a kid. I perfer Granny Smith (sour!) and Gala apples instead. I prefer red or black grapes over the light green Thompson variety. I absolutely ADORE clementines-the tiny seedless mandarin oranges in the little crates-and I love them much more than regular oranges-they are sweeter and less bitter. I have also found that I don't care for salads that only include iceburg lettuce. I like blends that have romaine, baby spinach, and other darker greens mixed in.

If you don't care for raw vegetables-don't eat them. There are a million recipes online that include vegetables in them. Most people actually prefer their veggies cooked in a stir fry, or some other dish. Eat the ones raw in salads that you do like that way-but cook the others with seasonings and in recipes if you must.
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Old 03-21-2005, 12:22 PM   #5  
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Just out of curiousity,have you told you Dr. about the pains you experience from fruit? My Mother's side of the family have a problem with fruits...sorry,can't remember what the name is,but maybe chatting up your Dr. and a nutritionist can help.Also,sorry if you've already mentioned it to him/her,just thought that might be an idea you hadn't tried yet.Good luck.
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Old 03-21-2005, 12:40 PM   #6  
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Default I understand.

I really do. There are very few raw veggies I can eat anymore. I would get those bad stomach pains that you are describing. First it was carrots that I couldn't eat, then progressed to broccoli, cauliflower.. etc. Now I steam or stir fry most everything. When I take in veggies to work for lunches, I steam them. Yes this takes more work, but the problem with the rawness is gone.

It's funny, but I can steamed veggies and fiber one cereal until the cows come home, in fact I average 45-50 grams of fiber a day, but the rawness of veggies just slays me. You'll have to experiment to come up with something that works for you. There are indeed millions of veggies and fruits out there to try. Don't give up on them. make them in big batches and reheat. Most veggies can reheat quite well, just don't cook them into mush.

Good Luck to you.
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Old 03-21-2005, 08:53 PM   #7  
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While eating lots of fruits and vegetables is good for you and generally helps people lose weight, there are other ways to lose weight if you absolutely cannot eat vegetables. First of all, I'd suggest starting an exercise program. It's hard to lose weight by exercise alone, but it's definitely possible! It's also a quick way to notice a change in your body. My parents are both overweight and retired, and my father is very sedentary (watches TV all day) and obese. Recently, my mom convinced him to start going for walks with her (not like they have anything else to do!), and last time I talked to them on the phone my dad told me how great it was! They've been walking about 2 miles a day for the past couple weeks (I assume they worked up to it), and my dad says that already he has more energy and that he's not as "creaky" as he used to be, so his body is getting healthier already! Many people have lost weight simply by walking a whole lot.

Another thing you might want to consider is meal replacement systems, like slim-fast. I don't know if slim-fast is very popular around these forums, but I can tell you from experience that it works. The shakes are gross, but the meal replacement bars (esp chocolate) taste pretty good. They have special ingredients to make you feel full, and after eating them for a while your stomach will actually get smaller, and it will take less food to make you feel full! I think slim-fast is a good way to jump-start portion control, because it's really hard to just start eating less one day (hunger is never fun!). I would recommend against using slim-fast long term though -- I have only managed to use it for about three months at a time, doing a plan of cereal for breakfast (Special K or something like that), a slim-fast bar for lunch, and a healthy dinner.

Another way to cut calories in your meals is to watch how much fat you are adding when you cook. I know you said you are very busy, but there are quite a lot of dishes you can prepare in only half an hour! My eating got a whole lot healthier the day I got rid of my butter and oil and just had a can of Pam cooking spray! Bake foods instead of frying them, eat more poultry and fish instead of red meat, all these things can help you reduce calories. Substitue yogurt for mayonnaise in recipes. Little things like buying Classico pasta sauce instead of Prego can cut your calories pretty drastically (I think Prego has the most calories of any pasta sauces out there!). One of my favorite things to do is to substitute ground turkey for ground beef. If you are making something like spaghetti with meat sauce, you really can't tell the difference much at all.

Anyway, I hope this helps a little. I try to make really quick meals almost all the time, because I don't have much time to cook either. Here are a couple quick meal ideas (you might already have some recipes like this):

Baked salmon: take a salmon fillet, sprinkle a couple drops of soy sauce on it (and rub it in), then rub lemon pepper all over it. Put it on tin foil in a baking pan and bake at 425 for 20-30 minutes (depending how thick it is). I usually serve it over rice. Very tasty!

Spaghetti with meat sauce: Spray a non-stick frying pan with Pam. Cook ground turkey in it until it's not pink anymore. Sprinkle on "Italian Seasoning" (you can buy the mix at the grocery store). I usually throw in some onions or mushrooms or bell peppers, but you certainly don't have to. Pour in canned pasta sauce and cook until it's hot, then serve over spaghetti.

I use ground turkey for meatballs and even meatloaf!

Anyway, hang in there. Not every diet plan works for everyone! You just need to find something that works for you.
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Old 03-22-2005, 01:33 AM   #8  
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A couple of other things to try in addition to what everyone else stated...

You don't have to eat fruits, though they're certainly good for you. But so is yogurt and it could be used to satisfy the sweet craving instead of fruit. Or peanut butter. Those are both good for you as snacks in place of fruit.

As for not being able to cook so you'd have cooked veggies all the time, cook in batches on the weekend and freeze. I also tend to go for the microwaveable Green Giant boxed veggies. And raw veggies don't have to be bland. Try a tomato stuffed with tuna salad for instance.
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Old 03-22-2005, 06:27 PM   #9  
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Great advice everyone!
I also have a really hard time with fruits and veggies. Canned and jarred fruit in it's own juice has been a lifesaver for me. It's so much more painless to me than fresh fruit. Fresh fruit is definitely better for you, but it's better than not eating it at all. Plus it doesn't go as bad so fast which I have a problem with.
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Old 03-28-2005, 02:59 PM   #10  
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funny, I am reading this while eating one of my new staples; home made veggie soup.
I am not that big of a fan of most veggies, but when you throw them all together (cabbage, spinach, cauliflower, onions, carrots, string beans, parsnips, and bokchoy) add a few cans of sugar free chopped tomatoes and low sodium beef broth plus spices that you like, it tastes completely different. I love it with a little bit of parm cheese sprinkled over the top, and I will also add cubes of left over chicken breast. Somehow it also seems to be a comforting food, much better than a plate of steamed cauliflower or string beans or a buch of cold carrots. I have also taken to adding tofu, for those of you that have never had tofu it realy just absorbs the flavor of what it is cooked in yet it is a good source of soy protein for those of us in menopause. It does take time to make the soup, but I have used frozen fresh string beans, cauliflower, spianch, I have also had a friend come over and we make it together. I make so much that I freeze a big batch and it lasts for over 2 weeks. This way while the kids are eating chicken strips you can warm a bowl in the microwave. Cooking everynight is a pain and who has time. My idea is to mess my kitchen up and cook several things at once. On a side note if you tend to get gas, chew a bunch of beno tablets before taking the first bite
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Old 03-28-2005, 03:16 PM   #11  
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another way I love veggies is stir fried on the barbeque grill. Get a batch of fresh string beans, carrots, brocklie (sp) and cauliflower together or seperately. Toss the veggies in a big bowl with a bit of olive oil and spices (I like garlic salt, my sister likes onion powder). Us a slotted spoon to remove from bowl and put in a wok designed for the grill (they have holes). Just keep tossing it as it cooks, you can shut the grill just keep checking back so they do not flame but let them get a light char grill look to them. Put back in the orginial unwashed bowl toss and then serve. This method will ABSOLUTELY change the flavor, I hated brocklie util I found this way and can now eat piles of it. It might take a little experimenting but WILL be worth it. Cooking veggies this way is so good that I swear to me it is like eating a snack.
I now buy the throw away tin pans at Big Lots 2 for $1.00 (has to have the holes in them) If anyone wants more details on this let me know and I will post more details on how to prepare, I don't mean to bore you with cooking tips. On a side note is there spell check on this forum??
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Old 03-29-2005, 05:49 PM   #12  
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How active are you? I haven't seen you mention that in your post.

Getting fit isn't all about eating. It is also about moving. You HAVE to burn more than you are taking in. 3500 calories = 1 lb. Do you exercise at all? 20-30 minutes 4-5 times a week is all takes. Walk if you cannot do anything more strenuous. You say you don't have time, but we can all fit it in somewhere. Walk on your lunch hour. Take the kids for a walk. Do jumping jacks with them. Find a gym that offers child care. Tell your husband you need him to watch the kids for 20 minutes while you walk by yourself.

I also cannot eat raw foods. There are some things you can do to get the nutrition in you (beano, eating small portions to acclimate your system, vitamins). Also cut portion sizes. I too love food, but I realized that many times I was being gluttonous. Who really needs 4 slices of pizza when 2 would suffice? Also watch the junk food...have it as a treat, not a staple.

If you give up, you are giving up on so many things......being overweight will ultimately take years off your life, and ruin the quality of life you have while you are here. It isn't just about being a size 6. It's about taking care of the most important thing you own.


Last edited by kittykitkat1971; 03-29-2005 at 05:54 PM.
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Old 03-30-2005, 08:58 PM   #13  
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Default Please don't give up

Everyone has given really good advice. I'm sure there is something you can glean from the boards.

BTW, you mentioned you were a busy working mom of 2 kids. What do you feed them?
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