Well, I did well for the most part this week, 3 days on plan, 3 days slightly over on calories and 1 day at maintenance calorie level. Did it show up on the scale? Of course not for me. Some day it will though. So far this year, I am 1 pound above my posted weight and 1/2 pound above my starting weight for the year.

I keep my calorie tally on piece of scrap paper. I have managed to lose today's tally- not a good sign for success. Sigh.

There was some excitement in our household this morning. We have several pets including an aquatic frog that never leaves his tank, until this morning. One of cats managed to fish him out of his tank! My husband found him flopping around on the floor next to the guilty cat. My husband scooped him up and plopped him back in his tank. He seems fine so we are very relieved. The cat has been obsessed with this frog for a while. She would often sit on his tank and poke at him. We thought she could never actually get him. We are now disabused of that notion. I have been shooing her off of his tank all morning. We've also put tape over all of the openings.

Off to a bad start for the new year. I have been doing very little of what I am suppose mostly because it just feels to hard and not worth it. I have had several days on-track but more days off-track just eating what I want. For the off track days, I wish they weren't so enjoyable. Trying hard to get back on-track consistently. So yesterday and today, I have tracked my calories. I was way over yesterday but okay today. I was probably okay today though because I was so far over yesterday. I need to figure out a way to make this whole process easier. Right now, it feels so difficult. In particular, my uncontrollable appetite has returned and seems as bad as it was five years ago when I couldn't even give up sugared soda.

Eh...what to say that isn't the same old thing?

Definitely gained this month. My choice is either up 2 pounds or up 4 pounds. I will wait to see how February goes before I decide.

I was trying to make a bigger drop in calories but it is backfiring. I just want to eat more.

So no good news to report this week. My weigh is up by 3.5 pounds above my sidebar. I am trying really hard to get back on track. I have a reasonable amount of calories left before 5:00 pm but I want to have more. I am hoping I can get through the next few hours without going over.

Evenings are my most difficult time. Often, I eat too much to have enough leftover for the next day. I am going to try to keep within a certain range in the evenings. I have tried to in the past without success.

My exercise is slowly falling off the pace. I still go the rec center 3x a week consistently but my skating session have dropped. I still go at least twice a week but I use to go 4x week. I have been just too tired.

My commitment to walking is also waning. Part of it was due to so much snow and ice on the sidewalks. In fact I fell the other day when there were only a few slippery spots. I still have the enormous scab on my knee.

I have started a mantra I tell myself while walking. I have said the first part to myself a lot in the past but have had added some lines. I repeat it over and over while walking. Sometimes, I will repeat it out loud which makes me worry I look a bit unbalanced. It seems to help though.

This is helping me in ways I cannot see
Especially for my knee
Including longevity
Better bone density
To meet my grandbaby
Lowering an insurance fee
Keeping my memory
Reducing my BP
Making the dogs healthy
To go ski

I have been off the rails for a while. This last week I have been taking a break from it all- no tracking, no limiting what I eat, and even my exercise is sliding. One thing I was doing this week is trying to normalize my eating. To that end, I was eating more at breakfast and little more at lunch in hopes I would feel more satisfied at dinner. I'm not sure if it really helped. I also stopped using what I think of as my secret weapon. Part of me was thinking it wasn't doing much but it reality it was saving me hundreds of calories per day.

Yesterday, I simply did not do my walks. I was working on something important for work and did not want to disrupt my day. By the time I finished, it was going to be really challenging to get them in. In the past I would have gone for it. I did manage to go skating.

Today, I am suppose to do my 3 walks, go to the rec center and go skating. However, I am making the decision to not do any of those except possibly skating. The session is at 7:15 pm so I will see how I feel then about going. I am going to focus on getting my house straightened up. It is disorganized and I am chronically disorganized by nature. I don't think I will ever change no matter how much I would like to. Hoarding runs in my family so that is always in the back of my mind. There are many things I know I don't want and I am okay with letting them go. However, getting them out of the house is where I struggle. There are other things that I recognize as no longer having value to me or anyone else but the thought of them (or stuff in good condition) going in the trash makes me sad.

As far as eating goes today, I am already at my calorie limit. I vacillate between continuing to limit what I eat between now and my new calorie window or to just forgo the effort for today and concentrate on getting organized. I am also battling my familiar demon of fatigue which makes it exceedingly difficult to get anything done.

Well, same old, same old like last week- nearly identical. My current weight is -38 lbs. 3.5 pounds above my posted sidebar weight of -41.5 pounds. Interestingly, it is only 1 pound above my starting weight for the year.

I went grocery shopping and did pretty well. I stuck to the list and didn't pick up extra things that won't work in my plan. I haven't stocked up on my secret weapon but I did get a small supply. I know everyone probably wonders what it is. I haven't said, or at least I don't think I have said what it is because I feel embarrassed about it. It is nothing that belongs in a healthy eating plan but it seems to help me in particular avoid an additional 400 calories of overeating.

It also turns out I have another supplement in my quiver that may be far more helpful that I previously understood. I am going to give it a proper go with some optimism.

Pipsicle, I'm just getting caught up on your thread. I got a chuckle out of the story of the frog and the cat. Its not funny for the frog, though. I think your cat needs an interactive toy, such as one of those birds that fly around. Can you put some type of screen over the frog tank?

I'm sorry you are having a hard time with your weight loss. I am too. I'll tell you, if I had any sort of "secret weapon" I'd be using it no matter how strange it seemed. No one has to know about it!!

Just checking in since it seems I am slowly drifting away. All in all, I think was able to maintain during February. I'll have to check the 'official' numbers at some point.

Today I have a cold. It came on really quickly yesterday. I took an at home COVID test and it was negative. My throat is sore enough that I was worried it was strep. I went to the urgent care and it is not strep. I also had them run a COVID test and it was negative.

One shocking thing from my appointment was my blood pressure was 126/80 (shortly after my morning caffeine intake). When I measured it at home a couple of hours earlier, it ready 162/90. I'd like to assume the professional's measurement is the accurate one.

Carol- I'm glad the cat and frog story made you laugh. We have put a gift box cover over the tank and taped it down. The frog is still doing fine and from what I understand can live 20+ years! We have weird pet problems at our house- our 60 lb dog has fallen in the toilet more than once! Hope your week is good!

Tonight was maddening! I ate enough for two meals and I still felt hungry. Like I didn't even eat anything at all. My body has such a huge disconnect. I tried a few things to see if it would help my brain get the message that it was full but they didn't help. I eventually took a nap after dinner so I would stop eating. I really wanted to continue eating but if I did, I would definitely go over my calorie limit tomorrow (meaning today at this point since it is so late). I really don't know what to do about this. It really sabotages my efforts.

On an extremely positive note, I was surprised with a good report from the scale this morning. It was at -40.5 lbs. This is within one pound of my posted sidebar weight and within a half of a pound of my starting weight for the year. I hope it is the beginning of a good trend!

So holding steady more or less. It is a victory in that I don't seem to be gaining. I went skiing for four and a half hours straight on Saturday. I am not sore at all and I think that says I have a pretty good overall level of fitness.


I was having a problem with my ski boot because I had a really painful pressure point. I used a Dremel tool to smooth it out and it worked!

Just drifting along and slow to post because not much is changing.

I took a long weekend last weekend and skied for 3 days. I am not sore at all and I don't think many people would be able to say that. When I went skiing with a group of friends about 10 years ago, after one day they were taking Advil like it was candy. It is a decade later and I skied three times as many days. Also, it was not crowded so I did a lot more runs since there was less time waiting in line.

I was really struck by the fact that I was the fattest person on the mountain. It drives home for me the fact that obesity is truly a disease and not a moral failing. I am doing so many things right but cannot get it to show on the scale.

Stalled, stalled, stalled.

Not much more to say than that. The weather is turning really nice here and today it got into the seventies!

Well the stall is over and my weight has popped up an unreasonable amount.

Really trying to refocus. I have started tracking my calories again and am planning on posting more. I just need to keep my head in the game. Having a lot of personal stressors right now that have been contributing to my upward ticking on the scale.

It never seems fair that it is so very easy to gain weight but so extremely hard to lose it.

Alright, Alright! One good day in the bag. Can I make it two? In addition, I got in a 17 hour fast. I haven't done a fast in over a year.

Quite frustrated- seriously though, when I am not frustrated. Anyway, it is 1:00 am and this is the most awake I have been in the last 24 hours. I'd say all day but I realize it is already the new day. I wish I could sleep well and wake up feeling this awake. I am usually tired and fatigued.

I have some work stress. The person who I report to is leaving, primarily due to a viper at their work place. I am currently contracting so I am outside of the company sphere. I do worry about how it will affect me though. I have really valued being appreciated instead of dismissed and denigrated.

To try to bring more balance, I have been attempting to focus on things I enjoy like skiing. My skis are positively ancient and are literally decades old. In my spare time, I have been research new ones. My biggest problem is when I have rented 'modern' skis, I can barely ski on them. I don't know if it is due do my leg issues or what.

Yesterday was fine. Calories were at a maintenance level though. I'll take after being over on calories so often. I am on track for today but still have 90 minutes to go. I am hungry so it will be a nitty-gritty fight until the new calorie window opens. My calorie window is 5-5pm rather than a typical 24 hour day. Yesterday, I stumbled on to a refreshing drink that will help me in the summer and seems to help with my sugar cravings.

I have made the decision to talk with my doctor about one of the new weight loss drugs that has been in the media a lot lately. My big sticking point is I need blood tests. There is a high probability they will reveal other health problems which feels overwhelming to me. As such, I don't want to get them done.

Down to 80 minutes left for today. Wishing I had the magic answer to sail through it. The real problem is when I feel this hungry and focused on food is even if I make it through, I immediately overeat when my calorie window opens. Then there is no recovery for tomorrow and I end up over. Even worse is often I throw in the towel and go even further over since I am already over. This is terrible logic and it hinders my weight loss. Even the times I try to still manage it, I end up pretty far over the limit.

75 minutes left...I have a few calories I can use up. Fingers crossed it is enough.
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34 minutes left