Ate too much again today and tomorrow will be over on calories too. Such a bummer! In general, this really frustrates me and I don't know why I can't pull things together.

I get it for today though. I was definitely eating to soothe an injured ego. It was a tough day at work. Basically, I need to learn how to let things go. My job is a good one. Not as good as it once was but a good one nonetheless. Previously, I had a lot more say in how things were run and now I don't. It doesn't feel very good and I feel sad about it.

Whoops! I don't know why but I wrote down the wrong weight this morning and I think I did the same thing yesterday. I wrote it as a half a pound higher than it really was. It doesn't matter because today is not an official weigh-in or end of the month.

Calorie wise, I was at maintenance today. I am okay with that as the nutrition of the food I ate was better than usual. I am trying to develop a better pattern of eating. Specifically, I want to eat a little more during the day and less in the evening. I have the more part down- LOL. Now to edge off some of those calories in the evening.

We have about three inches of snow on the ground so I have been feeding the birds. We came home this evening and there were four ducks on our lawn under the bird feeders. I love seeing the ducks on our lawn. We live in suburban neighborhood so it is unusual. The first time we had ducks on our lawn was when my daughter was four years old. She would watch them out the window the whole time they were there. Sometimes, she would use her toy binoculars. So cute! Whenever I see the ducks, it reminds me of that time. Plus they are fun to watch. Lucky for me, my husband is willing to go in and out through the garage when they are around so we don't scare them off.

Last summer, one nested in a couple of doors up in our neighbor's front lawn. They wanted to do some landscaping and wanted to remove the bush the ducks had nested under. They were unable to as it turns out mallard's are protected. It is illegal to disturb their nest.

My current rationalization for overeating is that I want to normalize eating more during the day and that will help me eat less in the evening. It is not working as of yet. On the plus side, I have been eating more nutritious food lately.

I've also bought a couple of nice containers to make some salads ahead of time so they will be ready when I am hungry.

So the weekly official weight is in -29 lbs. That is 2.5 lbs higher than my current sidebar and 3 pounds higher than my weight on Thursday of this week. I haven't seen this weight since February 6. It has been a month since I matched my sidebar weight on an official weigh-in day. Although, I have seen it or better on many of my unofficial weigh-ins. I have a nice set of rules for updating my sidebar when my weight is coming down. The second time I see the new low weight on an official weigh-in day, I update the sidebar. I've really only planned for the happy path of losing weight.

Last year when I had the bump up, I denied it for months before finally adjusting my sidebar. That was emotionally painful. Seemly, I am in the same boat, yet again, this year. If it is still higher on my first official Sunday weigh-in in April, I will have to acknowledge the regain.

None of the other health indicators I can measure at home look any better.

I went through the arduous process I just loathe and wrote down a dietary plan for the week. Then promptly screwed it up the moment my calorie window opened up. This is why I don't like doing it. I never stick to it which unleashes a cascade of negative feelings. It is such a bummer because on paper, the plan looks really good. I don't get why I cannot manage this. It sure keeps me humble.

At the checkout at the grocery, I bought a magazine that has 21 day plan to jump start weight loss. The plan is to drink protein shakes for three weeks. I've done two medically supervised diets that relied on mostly shakes. On each, I lost 17 pounds and then gained it back relatively quickly. I have to admit though, I am considering trying this jump start idea. I have been stuck for so long. The reality is I will not be able to do it. I don't think I could do it for one day.

I feel your pain and here is my 2 cents worth based on years of dieting, binging, starving etc. Keeping myself to a food plan- I do not ever call it a diet-I look for healthy foods that are lower in calories and high in volume, This makes up the bulk of a meal for me, and then I allow myself to add a few decadent touches to make it feel like a rich meal. Breakfast for me is often eggs to make it easier , I use egg beaters-saves me time and calories. so an entire cup is 100-125 calories, and it makes a huge omelet. So to this I can add mushrooms, onions, peppers , top with reduced fat cheese, and add a couple of turkey or chicken sausages. This for me is a large, quick, and satisfying meal. I do low carb so I don't have toast but there are lower calorie options if you do. Lunch is a big tossed salad and I add raddichio, cauliflower, etc so it doesn't feel like a bowl of lettuce, I use low fat dressing and add bacon bits, reduced fat cheese, the new cheese crisps, sunflower seeds, etc My dinner is a 4-6 oz portion of a lean protein, with veggies. I have been having Atkins snack bars for my snacks, I find them to be very filling, I also endulge in keto ice cream

Hi Ann, I am happy you have found what works for you.
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Completely off plan but seem to be within my maintenance calorie limit. Yet again, trying to write it all down ahead of time didn't work out. Still in the game though and I have maintained my loss for years now. A victory in and of itself, especially considering many people say maintaining is harder than losing.

Daylight savings time is very hard for me. I feel slightly nauseated and like I am on a ship. It takes me about three months to truly adjust. Typically, I feel much better after 6-7 weeks but then have some weird relapse a month later.

The ducks were back today. Last year, I was buying cracked corn for them. The place I was buying has closed though and I haven't found it any where else. I was looking for things that would make our yard an attractive place for a nest. Turns out there are special duck nesting boxes you can buy. I am on the fence about it. We are about a half mile from the nearest pond. It is within the range a mother duck will lead ducklings but it just seems so far.


Generally on track with regards to my plan.

I am struggling with the clock change. It always hits me pretty hard but this year feels tougher than the norm. I decided to take melatonin last night because I was having trouble sleeping. I was groggy most of the day and was too tired to go skating. I also got winded on one of my walks and had to stop a couple of times. Granted, I was walking on four inches of snow at times which makes it a little tougher. I don't think I'll take melatonin again for a while.

I don't think I was on plan today. I didn't track so I won't know for sure. The ketone test strips are positive but no movement on the scale.

Saw an ad today that basically looks like a breathalyzer that measures ketones.

It was 9:30 pm when I finally went skating. It is cosmic night at the rink. They play music, turn the lights down and have rotating colored lights.

I was trying to eat within the bumpers of meals I know to fit within my plan. It went okay but not well enough to be losing weight. I am also battling the seeking energy eating again. It is strong enough that I saw some candy dropped on the ground and for a split second I considered eating it. Totally disgusting but the truth nonetheless. I hate it when I have this much fatigue. I've seen doctors for it. So.many.doctors. The best I could get was an offer of antidepressants. While it is true depression can cause fatigue. It is not true that depression is the sole cause of all fatigue. In addition in my case, depression can be ruled out. It is well documented that all depression as side from the most severe clinical depression improves with regular physically exercise. In my case, the fatigue gets worse and worse from regular physically exercise. That is why my exercise sessions are limited to about 20 minutes. Sometimes, I skate longer than that but I take breaks and sit on the hockey player benches.

I didn't sleep well at all last night. Plus I had some stomach trouble which I get when I eat palm oil. Yesterday, I ate something that I hardly ever eat. It didn't seem like it should even have palm oil in it but it did. I didn't figure that out today until after I ate another one. I may have stomach trouble again tonight. I hope not. I put the rest in the trash even the ones I was about to eat.

It was a bad weigh-in and seems likely I will have a gain this month. I will still work on it though! Today was my day of rest but I still feel really tired. Usually, I have small cup of coffee in the morning and a caffeinated diet soda at lunch. I have decided to cut out the caffeine at noon. I want to see if helps me fall asleep faster. I am hoping if I sleep better, I will be more rested. If I am more rested, maybe the energy seeking behavior will abate.

Today I was on plan and it felt like it went well. I am worried my exercise is going to start slipping though. I am still managing to get it all in but I really need to coax myself to get it all done. Even after all of these years, it is not a habit.

Struggling with family and work stuff. It is really stressful and intrudes into my thoughts. I need to learn how to not ruminate on things. I do like watching the Price is Right though. It feels like such a nice pick me up to watch the joy of the participants.

Also, a few days ago, I read the story about going on a liquid diet of protein shakes to reset your metabolism. In general, I am not keen on the idea and am not successful with this type of thing. However, the article mentioned a specific brand and twice in the last week, I've seen empty containers of that particular protein shake littered on the sidewalk. So does this mean the universe is trying to tell me something?

My husband went out of town last weekend. Typically, he comes home on a Sunday but this go around, he came back on Monday. It has thrown me for a loop. I am trying to remember things in relation to when he returned home. I keep thinking he came home on a Sunday so I am putting things that happened on the wrong day. A day earlier than when they happened.

I am pretty sure I was over on calories today. My tracking has not been very good lately. Once I get close to my target, I kind of give up on tracking and eating right. Tonight's dinner was really hard to track. I am going skiing again so I will likely not post until Sunday.