Hi Jolly Green and Garnet: I completely agree with you both! I am going to be a lot more aggressive when someone pulls this kind of crap in the future. I am going to start embarrassing those jerks exactly the same way the embarrass me.
Jolly Green: I absolutely hate it when people do that!!! What is it with people that say stuff like that, especially strangers! I joined a gym, and every time I worked out, one of the trainers on staff used to make comments to me about my weight in order to get me to sign up for private training with her. I told her NO and that I just want to work out alone and in peace. She didn't stop, so I complained to management.
Well, I know, that I'm a bit out there.
If that man would have said that to me, I would have said, "well, I can lose weight but you will always have a short peck*r!
But that's just me. I'm not afraid to call them like I see them!
I'm awfully quiet but I sort of like to think about how if someone sticks their little butt out it's their own fault if it gets spanked. Bullies are cowards - I read that earlier in this thread and that is just way too true. They'll pick on you because they feel you're a target that won't fight back, surprise them!!
WOW I am trying to imagine what it'd be like being approached by an employee at the gym and being singled out. As a paying customer you have a right to be able to work out in peace - you'll stop coming and stop paying if you feel threatened or uncomfortable. My move probably would have been to say I can't afford personal sessions right now, and if that didn't work then I'd talk to a manager and say I was taking my business elsewhere if it didn't stop. It really kind of hits the nail on the head of why I hate working out in public - I'm always afraid of running into people and being judged or approached. I hate being the only token fat girl at the gym or out on a jog, I'm always worried people will either wonder what I'm doing here or else think that I BETTER be here. I'm glad so far people have minded their own business - sometimes what people think is nice or encouraging is actually very condescending and rude. Additionally, no overweight people at the gym is like "oh wow I hope someone realizes how fat I am and how much help I need!!!".
I hated being approached at the gym. I was approached rudely by two more staff members: one trainer noticed that I missed a couple of days and he lectured me on the importance of exercise. A yoga instructor singled me out in a class and gave me I strict instructions for obese people - in front of the whole class!
I had already told management about this problem and it kept on happening.
That was it - I was done. I recently left the gym and designed my own exercise program that includes weight training, brisk walking, swimming, stability ball and recumbent bike. It was just too hard to deal with the people at the gym. I don't need to be scolded and embarrassed.
Your husband's friend is obviously a moron with some huge hole in his life - happy people don't call their friends' wives whales, ever.
Those people shouldn't be working at gyms. Makes me feel ill thinking that there are horrible $-minded people like that being trusted to help folks get in shape.
Thank you for your comments, Krampus. I was going to the gym specifically to work on my fitness and weight and instead a few people on the staff made it worse.
I may have left that gym, but I am still exercising and focusing on my weight loss.
I am not sure that I would have the nerve to say that out loud, but it sure is funny!
While I've never made a comment on the referenced subject.
I am very well endowed in the "girl" department. One night at a local community annual celebration, one dummy in the bar made a sarcastic reference to the size. It was quite embarrassing. So I smarted off back and asked him the size of his jock strap, extra small?
The results were hilarious! First total dead silence, waiting for the fight to start, between him and my Dh, however, I stood up tall and looked the dingbat in the eye, with the attitude, that if you want to carry this on, let's rock!
He slumped down in his chair, and actually was good sport about the fact that I verbally kicked his butt!
Some days, ya just gotta do, what ya gotta do!
It's all about being confident and standing tall, and not taking any crap!
I actually read a Miss Manners column several years ago that reminded me of this. Someone wrote in and said they were at a dinner party where one of the guests told a very racist joke, and the writer was of that particular race. He was uncomfortable because he didn't want to make it seem like he was thin-skinned, but it was very offensive. Everyone at the table kind of turned and looked at him to see how he would react.
Miss Manners suggested that if it happened again, he should just wait for the person to finish telling the joke, then wait another second after he was finished, just staring at the person. Then, slowly, say to the joke-teller in a very serious and kind of amused voice, "Oh? Did you think that was funny?" and keep looking at them, as if you're really waiting for an answer to this question. Everyone else at the table is guaranteed to say, "No."
I think it's great. It's pretty cutting and it puts the joke-teller on the spot. Too many people (myself included sometimes) are willing to be made uncomfortable. Really, it was that jerk who should have been uncomfortable, not you. Nothing wrong with placing the discomfort where it belongs.
So true Marjorie and shcirerf: In the past, I always resisted making other people uncomfortable, but now I see that it is the only thing to that works.
A long time ago, we were having dinner with several of my husband's relatives. An aunt said something pretty cruel about my father in law's weight, and my MIL chimed in by asking me (in front of everyone) if I thought that was funny. I didn't smile and I didn't answer. She kept asking me over and over if I thought it was funny. I finally said "I think that what was said is very mean. If you ever speak to me like that, you will never see me again." There was a long awkward silence. After that, no one (other than my MIL) ever said anything like that to me again. My MIL is a very slow learner.
When we got home that night, my husband was irritated and asked me why I couldn't just ignore the comment. I yelled back at him that he should have defended his father.
I just can't take the crap any more, no matter who it p*sses off.
Last edited by doingmybest; 07-30-2013 at 01:06 AM.
The only one you have to be good enough for is you, and yes you are doing your best. Your doing something to Improve yourself. Be proud, doesn't matter what weight your at. If they were happy people they wouldn't display this type of behaviour they would be cheering you on.
Tell them to look in the mirror and see the awful,sinical, unhappy cruel person they really are, and that is going to take something drastic for them to change them. They have the problem not you
If people don't bring positivity into your life you don't need them kick them to the curb. Up you get chin up, you would have plent of support on this sit
I've gotten horrible comments throughout my life from people who thought I was too fat. Now I'm getting them from people who think I'm too thin. (Um, hello, I'm standing right next to you. I can hear what you just said.) Just proves there is no winning. I love this song, though! Cheers me right up! Maybe you too? :-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nD2vZfdzGg (Sugababes "Ugly")
My pleasure, I come from a very dysfunctional family and I had to learn that, now I alway make sure Im grateful for things, I have a little mantra which I say, I have an Abundance of health, happiness, wealth, friends, family.
In a very dark time of my life I was told, by a very religious girlfriend, you are never given anymore than you can handle, I thought YEH RIGHT!!!,
But when I look back I have got thru every challenge, and speed hump that I have been given.
Don't let another human being try to inflict their unhappiness on you. To me the are jealous of you.
I am not sure that I would have the nerve to say that out loud, but it sure is funny!
