Oh I also think it was meant as a compliment. We are always our own hardest critics, and even if she meant it as a slight--I'd take it as a compliment figuring I'll never see her again anyway and why not make it a positive
It sounds like a compliment to me too, much more than an insult, at least, and I'll second LockItUp: the way *we* feel about our own weight may be miles away from what a *stranger* will see. We compare ourselves to how thin we used to be, and/or how thin we hope to be (again), but Random McEveryman in the street doesn't have those references to compare us to, so s/he'll likely see us with an "innocent eye", so to speak.
I think it was meant as a compliment, but I sympathize with how you feel. I am also a very conservative dresser, but I have a very "curvy" body, even with weight gain.
Once I pulled on a pair of black jeans which were tight, but I thought I had a longish top on (which was modest and loose). As I walked through a mall to get a pair of shoes, a 20-something man cupped his hands around his mouth, and yelled "ATTENTION: A**." A bunch of guys sort of grouped around me as I walked by...I was mortified to realize it was my A** he was alerting them to.
I have no idea if that was a compliment or not! It took me a while to go shopping there again. (And I can't believe I am sharing this story....I thought it would follow me to the grave!)
Last edited by Strawberry Blond; 09-20-2012 at 05:30 PM.
Reason: typos
I have a different perspective on her comment... I think she was complimenting you! Where I'm from, when someone tells you that you are WEARING (insert item here), they are giving you a major compliment, letting you know whatever it is looks hot on you! I think you should just take it that way and be proud of yourself that you are back on the right track and seeing progress.
That's how it is here, too! I mean obviously we'll never know what she meant but I've only ever heard the phrase used as a compliment :]
ABSOLUTE COMPLIMENT! It's right up there with someone saying "you are bad!!!!" - meaning "good". Or when someone says "that is sick!" - meaning, they like it. I don't know exactly where the "opposite meaning" of what is said came into the cool factor, but it's been going on for quite sometime now!
So yeah, "you are WEARING those jeans!" - it's a Compliment, Compliment, Compliment! - don't let the head games hurt your spirit!!
Last edited by Beach Patrol; 09-21-2012 at 09:40 AM.
I think the first comment pretty well makes it a compliment too. She wanted your jeans. Why would she want your jeans? Because your body looked amazing in them, and she's hoping if she got ahold of those jeans, which are obviously well-fitting, that she'd rock her body in them too.
So not only was she complimenting how you looked, but she was also complimenting your talent for finding the elusive pair of well-tailored jeans.
Last edited by Song of Surly; 09-21-2012 at 09:45 AM.
Something to remember: A stranger is not comparing you to how you looked at 125 lbs, they only see you for how you are right this very minute. So maybe your pants are a little tight, on a butt that you see as big because it used to be smaller; but maybe a stranger sees a curvy booty in some tight jeans and think it looks fabulous! Different people have different opinions on what looks good. A stranger doesn't have have all of those preconcieved ideas about what you should look like, like you do.
I have no idea how the person meant it, but I'd choose to take it as a compliment.
I agree! Around my parts - "wearing" it is a big compliment. I've been blessed with "booty" and I truly do mean blessed! When I'm large, yep - it's large but as I get older and slimmer - it sits up very nice and fills out a pair of jeans wonderfully! Much better than having no butt at all She is seeing you for who you are NOW and how you look, so it must be pretty darn nice
