[LandonsBaby]

Originally Posted by DietVet

At the same time, I think I would probably kill my husband if he left me alone with 5 kids every day while he flitted about taking care of his body and socializing without me!! He needs to share!

Yeah, there is absolutely no reason a man needs to spend 90 minutes a day at the gym while his wife doesn't get to go at all.

[lm3898]

- one of the problems is that her husband spends nearly two hours a day with this woman in a non work setting. It's not the fact that he has a female friend it's the time he spends and activities he does DAILY for hours with a woman she doesn't know - very different than just having a female friend in my opinion.

[ennay]

I'm torn. On the one hand I dont normally see a problem with socialization with the opposite sex. But there is something about this PARTICULAR situation that bothers me. (Ignoring the unequal workout time as I dont think that is the topic at hand)

What happened to the rest of the gym buddies? Why is he working out with only her? I'm in a gym social pack. There are both men and women in it. From time to time it will be just me and one of the guys. Not a problem. And dh wouldnt think it was. But it's not every day. Today it was me and "the hippie dude" (I havent learned his name yet - but he kinda sucks at spotting) alone. Tomorrow it will probably be me and the 2 girls I run with and probably 2-3 guys who usually go MWF. For about 6 weeks last fall all my girls were in some kind of funk and it was me and the guys. But not one guy.

It's one thing if the rest of the guys have left the gym, its another if he is cutting out from his old crowd to work out with just her. It's the exclusiveness that is suspect.

The topic of why he gets all the gym time is a totally separate topic (and seriously people "bring the kids?" I dont know of a single gym that has 4:30 am childcare and if they did no way in would I be waking up my kids in time to get there. ) I didnt see that the OP said she never got gym time, just they never got it together. That isnt uncommon or problematic on its own. dh and I get to workout together maybe 3 times a year, when grandma visits. We arent even members of the same gym.

I workout at the buttcrack of dawn like OP's dh so I can be home in time for dh to leave for work, dh workouts at lunch and rides his bike to work, weather permitting. By the time dh gets home from work it's dinner/homework/bath and bed for kiddos (not to mention sports and the like), I'm not dragging them to the gym then.

[MeganTheMushroom]

Hey, he DID tell you about it. Imagine how much worse it would be if you found out from somebody else, and he had been keeping it a secret from you.
But, I agree, I wouldn't like it too much either.

Originally Posted by JohnP

Work is quite different because you have boundries at work. (At least in theory) In my opinion when you're hanging out with the opposite sex outside of work the possibility exists that one or more of these people are going to develop feelings for the other. When you're getting sweaty together lifting you're going to be spotting one another which often involves touching the other person. Even if you're only touching their arm or waist it is quite possible for sexual tension to develop. Exercise causes all kinds of endorphins to be released ... there are simply chemical reactions that even the most innocent of people might find happen to themselves.

Again - just my opinion. Some people in this thread disagree. I personally think they're naive but that is again, just my opinion.

personal experience: IT HAPPENS.

i always prefer to work with guys simply bec too many women cannot handle or are not willing to handle the same load i am. at one gym, i couldn't even work with other women bec they were all on the ladies' side of the gym where the heaviest weight was 150lbs on the leg press and they didn't even HAVE 45lb plates.

it's WAY too easy to progress from "oh, hey, um - what's your name again? -yeah, thanks - can you spot me this squat?" to chatting about form and technique and the latest research; to continuing the conversation over a smoothie at the in-club health bar; to meeting up for a pre-workout coffee at the tim's down the street; to meeting at the local GNC bec they've got a bulk sale on and you'll save if you split the tab; to crying about how your boyfriend is being a real jerk about how much time you spend at the gym and he brought home cheesecake AGAIN even though he knows you have to lose more weight; to meeting him for dinner bec it's his birthday and his wife has forgotten and gone out clubbing with her friends; to finishing dinner with breakfast at your place bec he's had too much to drink and can't drive home.

it's easy to look back and say "oh... yeah... not a good decision" but at the time, it all just seems so very logical and harmless.

the "gym pack" is a far better idea.

[Exhale15]

Originally Posted by LockItUp

I just thought of a GREAT solution. Ask little gym skank to babysit ...

What makes her a 'skank'? Getting up at the crack of dawn to work out? Sign me up...

I doubt he's being forced to work out with her. Does she even know he's married with kids? And we haven't established that anything 'bad' is happening...

[bargoo]

Go back and read johnp's posts he makes a lot of sense. I agree with another poster who said it is asking for trouble, it may not happen but the risk is there.
Sophia, this can't be compared to a work situation, we can't dictate who we will share an office with but this situation at the gym is by choice.
Jeolusly is not the point it is just common sense.
Age has absolutely nothing to do with it but human nature has everything to do with it.

[LockItUp]

Originally Posted by Exhale15

What makes her a 'skank'? Getting up at the crack of dawn to work out? Sign me up...

I doubt he's being forced to work out with her. Does she even know he's married with kids? And we haven't established that anything 'bad' is happening...

Obviously I was kidding on behalf of OP. I'm sure she's a perfectly lovely person.