That's kind of an attitude among women who happen to be larger that I sooooo wish would change. I posted something along those lines here when I first joined 3FC about how MORE judgemental those with more weight than you (definitely not all) but some tend to be. I didn't read the tickers and be like GAWD, she is HUUUUUGE. I was like AMAZING, look how much weight that lady has lost!!!! Or wow, she is going to be one proud woman when she reaches goal.
I wouldn't call my start weight of 193 small by any means, ESPECIALLY on my frame. But I also tried not to judge anyone at the same height who had less weight to lose. Maybe it's due to my having 3 kids, thyroid, adrenal, polycystic ovarian and insulin resistance. It was dang hard just to get where I am now. My husband took a progress pic of me in a bathing suit today and while I am proud of how far I have come, there is much work to do.
Even though I am considered a "featherweight" by some standards, my body still doesn't match my head. I have this crazy, small head and my body is much bigger, kind of like that part in Beetlejuice. I am the POSTER CHILD for a pear shaped woman.
Oddly, I take being judged by larger women harder than being judged by smaller women. Don't even ask me why. Maybe it is because I feel no matter HOW MUCH weight I have to lose, other women with weight to lose, of all people, should know how it feels????
For me, everyone's ticker is a reminder that they can do it and so can I. I am a very visual person so when I can get mine FINALLY I will use it for that. Hopefully when I am getting there on my weight loss journey someone starting out will look at mine and see that yes, it is possible
just for the record.. im not judging anyone when i look at their ticker.. its about me. my envy, my insecurity, my u name it.
mickey
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niecy
That's kind of an attitude among women who happen to be larger that I sooooo wish would change. I posted something along those lines here when I first joined 3FC about how MORE judgemental those with more weight than you (definitely not all) but some tend to be. I didn't read the tickers and be like GAWD, she is HUUUUUGE. I was like AMAZING, look how much weight that lady has lost!!!! Or wow, she is going to be one proud woman when she reaches goal.
I wouldn't call my start weight of 193 small by any means, ESPECIALLY on my frame. But I also tried not to judge anyone at the same height who had less weight to lose. Maybe it's due to my having 3 kids, thyroid, adrenal, polycystic ovarian and insulin resistance. It was dang hard just to get where I am now. My husband took a progress pic of me in a bathing suit today and while I am proud of how far I have come, there is much work to do.
Even though I am considered a "featherweight" by some standards, my body still doesn't match my head. I have this crazy, small head and my body is much bigger, kind of like that part in Beetlejuice. I am the POSTER CHILD for a pear shaped woman.
Oddly, I take being judged by larger women harder than being judged by smaller women. Don't even ask me why. Maybe it is because I feel no matter HOW MUCH weight I have to lose, other women with weight to lose, of all people, should know how it feels????
Mickey, just to be clear, I was referring to your INITIAL thoughts about how you felt ("are you kidding me?") when reading someones ticker with a SW of your GW.
I should have acknowledged in my post that you did say you do now take into consideration that you don't know that persons struggles or background...but some never do, they don't care, all they see is the number. And I'm not referring to people who are just "envious", that's normal and I think at times I am even envious of women who have lost what people would think an impossible amount of weight....'cause here I am, 2 yrs later from when I joined 3FC trying to meet goal, lol.
Now for the speaking in general part of my post; not trying to tell someone that they can't or shouldn't feel that way, we all have our battles with self-image, just pointing out how it might make the person on the receiving end feel. Almost as though that person is saying "What the heck are you talking about 'you need to lose weight'??????" and then given an eye roll as if it somehow doesn't "qualify". I've experienced this first hand in real life, IN PERSON. My husband and I went to dinner with two of his co-workers and their wives. We all got up to go to the restroom together as most women do and I was shocked as one of the females referred to me as a "skinny b*#ch" and given the evil eye by her for the rest of the night! I have pictures from that night to PROVE I was NOT a skinny b*#ch, LOL! She just happened to weigh more than me, that's all.
gotcha.. i guess i should have choosen better or other words than are u kidding me lol.. i say that to people meaning.. i think you look good.. but it just goes to show even if u have good intentions, the wording can still sting. diddnt mean to hurt or upset anyone.
mickey
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niecy
Mickey, just to be clear, I was referring to your INITIAL thoughts about how you felt ("are you kidding me?") when reading someones ticker with a SW of your GW.
I should have acknowledged in my post that you did say you do now take into consideration that you don't know that persons struggles or background...but some never do, they don't care, all they see is the number. And I'm not referring to people who are just "envious", that's normal and I think at times I am even envious of women who have lost what people would think an impossible amount of weight....'cause here I am, 2 yrs later from when I joined 3FC trying to meet goal, lol.
Now for the speaking in general part of my post; not trying to tell someone that they can't or shouldn't feel that way, we all have our battles with self-image, just pointing out how it might make the person on the receiving end feel. Almost as though that person is saying "What the heck are you talking about 'you need to lose weight'??????" and then given an eye roll as if it somehow doesn't "qualify". I've experienced this first hand in real life, IN PERSON. My husband and I went to dinner with two of his co-workers and their wives. We all got up to go to the restroom together as most women do and I was shocked as one of the females referred to me as a "skinny b*#ch" and given the evil eye by her for the rest of the night! I have pictures from that night to PROVE I was NOT a skinny b*#ch, LOL! She just happened to weigh more than me, that's all.
No offense taken by you at all, because I knew you were just stating how you had felt in the past. It's all good!
From my experience, everyone here at 3FC, even if they feel that way in the beginning, realizes we may have gotten here different ways and some of us have shorter/longer roads to hoe than others, we are all in the same boat trying to get to basically the same place. It's normally real life people (like the one I mentioned) who aren't doing anything to change their situation that will just say anything and it doesn't seem to matter that you are only 20 lbs or so smaller than them, you're smaller so you're the "enemy".
Looking at the tickers can be inspiring and humbling, and it can also keep people from being alone. That's what I like, since I tend to beat myself up so bad, it's great to read positive posts from people who have done well, great to read that others TOO backslide, cheat on their plans, get discouraged. When I see people who have already "made it" I do get a little jealous, but that is a part of life and one of those reactions that if processed well can lead to answers about myself. One of those answers was just how embarrassed, disappointed, and hard on myself I can be. And I hope this doesn't sound mean, but when I see people who have farther to go than I, it helps me to keep from throwing a pity party.
Sometimes I wish some people on here were a little more supportive to each other in general (of course there are people on here who have been absolutely amazing regardless of size-that's why I keep revisiting.)
For me, I'm young and I started at a low (by some standards) weight. But I was still overweight and I had gained like there's no tomorrow over the last year and I believe that given another two years or so I could have easily hit the 200 mark because I have the same problems with food that a lot of the people who are a lot heavier than me have. I used to have an eating disorder, I liked eating junk when I was bored or upset and I was (still am a little) addicted to eating sugar, takeaways and eating out.
I decided to start addressing my food issues now, before it got worse. But that doesn't change the way I empathise with people who are heavier than me. My goal would take me to the middle of my BMI healthy weight range (which I just reached 2 ibs ago) I'm hoping that by getting that far in, it will be harder for me to get back to the stage I was or something.
I always look .. .... and are always inspired .... I'm impressed with all goals being met .... everyone has their own plans .... but we can all cheer and support along as we can see them going down ...
I actually took my weight info off my public info because opinions were being swayed, it seemed, based on my weight.
I usually forget to look at people's tickers (gosh that sounds inappropriate out of context!) unless I'm responding to an exercise Q. The weight of a person determines certain exercises so it's just for safety.
Yep, I definitely look! Many times it helps to put a post in perspective and give better advice (or support).
For instance, let's say someone makes a post that they're having a plateau. Well, I might give very different advice if they are just at the beginning of their journey, in the middle, or at the very end. Someone at the end probably just has very slow weight loss due to being so close to their goal. Someone in the middle might be losing inches and having their body composition change while their weight loss stalls and someone at the beginning might need encouragement to stick to their plan or might have to ask themselves if their current expectations are reasonable and/or if their choice plan is reasonable for their lifestyle.
There are more examples too... if someone is just starting I would encourage them to do ANY exercise that they can fit into their life whereas if someone is close to their goal but is still worried about extra flab I'd encourage them to do weight lifting to build muscle.
I do have to admit I get a bit jealous of those with lower starting weight because I WISH I would've had this board years ago when I was just a bit overweight. Things would've been so much easier if I would've dealt with my eating issues then vs. NOW. UGh, but that's my own issue NOT someone else's.
I don't really care at all if someone is my same height with a lower goal weight. I just figure that they have a smaller frame as I do and/or might be less muscular. I lift a lot and am starting to reevaluate how realistic my current goal weight is.
I notice. Especially heights, and unless you're short, you can't possibly know what I'm going through, and even then probably not. (Not really, but you know what I mean. )
We're the same height But here I'm pretty much average. In Germany I was a dwarf.
But here I'm pretty much average. In Germany I was a dwarf.
