The Last straw for me was January 7th. That was the day that my husband of 14 years decided to tell me that I looked like a bull dozer and he felt insecure standing next to me. (he's 5'10" and 150lb). He went upstairs, took a shower and when he came down he said.."I'm going out." I have not seen him since except when he picked up some clothes.
2 years ago I was really in shape but my mom had a stroke and I chose to care for her in my home until she died. I have put on 50 lbs in 2 years. I went from a size 8 to a size 16.
Now here I am, no husband, no mom, and 40. But ya know what?? I refuse to let anyone define who I am. Thats my job. I have a plan, and a goal, and a life. I see me for me, and I will succeed.
As for the husband...yes I miss him, but some how I think his leaving is a blessing in disquise. I can now get back to me. Besides...I can lose weight...tone up..get my self esteem back...but for him...you cant fix ugly..anyone who would leave a mariage based on 50 pounds is a sallow a** who does not deserve to have wonderful woman in their life such as myself..(Toot, Toot!) Blessings! Vickie
One, I looked in the mirror and realised I wouldn't do me. Two, I refused to buy another pair of pants that had elastic and the ones I had were getting holey.
I see women in their 40's and 50's that look better than me. That's my motivation. Final straw? Avoiding going on vacation, which I want to do very much, because I don't want to be seen on the beach. My mid-section is very umm...like a water bed since having my son 9 years ago. When I sit down I have rolls. I don't expect to be perfect but I find I am extremely uncomfortable with my appearance all the time. I have made several attempts but things kept getting put off due to personal issues.
My last straw came in August. In June I had a physical and because I had missed my TOM for 4 months the doctor sent me for blood work and an ultra-sound. Turns out that I have PCOS, cholestoral that is higher than is healthy for some one my age, and higher than average blood glucose as well.
That was a pretty scary realization the doctor also said the best thing I could do for all 3 issues is to lose 15-20lbs. My BMI puts me as overweight on most charts and with the way I have been gaining weight over the last 2 years I would be 220lbs within the next 5 years. I can see myself spiraling out of control and I am really not ok with it. The worst part is in December 2010 I managed to lose 10lbs and went down to 147lbs I then gained it back plus 10lbs more.
I remember back to when I was in my early twenties have so much energy and stamina and being so active and I wonder what happened to that person.
In September I joined a gym again and although my eating habits and exercise habits haven't been great I have managed to lose and keep of 5lbs which is a start. I am really motivated and I don't ever want to see myself looking like this ever again.
This past summer I was so embarrassed by my size that I refused to wear shorts (I don't even own any). I also do not own a bathing suit of any kind or skirts. There are pictures that were taken of me this summer at close to 170lbs and I look and them and am ashamed. These are occasions where I thought I looked good too I had dressed up but I still look so large.
I am determined to lose this weight, I am ready to wear shorts again and go swimming without feeling embarrassed
Not really a last straw so much as a "keep going straw" was when my grandma told me Saturday told me I was prettier after losing 30lbs.. no, it wasn't in a "awww you look great!" way either.
She's definitely one of my main fuels to keep going. I do NOT want to be her!
What did it for me was when even my Spanx, Flexees etc could no longer force my torso into the hourglass that I was still convinced that I had.
It was just after Christmas, so I took Jan 1 as my starting date. No more desserts, no more white flour, no more fried food. 1500 calories a day and it is starting to show results.
I saw pictures of me from the side and that did it. I looked horrible. I have never weighed this much in my life. That woke me up and made me decided to get healthy and back to healthy weight. Plus, I want to show my dd the healthy WOE.
July of 2010 I picked myself up after a serious heartbreak, decided I didn't want to use food as an emotional crutch as I had all of my life. July 2011 I had lost 80 pounds, but have since gained back 20 after again heartbreak. But no more.
Last May I realised I was uncomfortable sitting Indian style while using my laptop; it took me a few days (lord knows why!) to figure out why and then it hit me. I had fat rolls - not just one, but two that touched and it was really uncomfortable to sit and use my laptop at the weight I was.
I freely acknowledge that realising I was too fat to sit & use my laptop in my normal position is not a great thing to give me a wake-up call, but I'm very grateful I realised where I was headed when I did, and I've managed to make changes and lose some of the weight before I got too far down that road.
Last straw: Photo of me looking like a stuffed sausage on New Year's Eve in one of my favorite sweaters
Anger can be a very good motivator. I don't mind being angry at myself. I'm not upset or sad or any of that.. I'm angry, and anger motivates me to change.
I had mine about 6 weeks ago. I knew I had put on weight (25 lbs in 3 years) and wanted to lose it but just couldn't get myself started. I picked up a doughnut in the cafeteria in our office building for breakfast and the lady behind the counter said "you arn't really going to eat that, are you?" I paid for it and then threw it in the trash. It really ticked me off and hurt my feelings, but it also made me think, "I'll show her". I started excercising that week and cut out all sugars, breads, bad carbs 2 weeks later. I'm down 7 lbs!
I put on weight very slowly, about two pounds every year since 2000. When summer came and I started to wear lighter clothes I noticed my body was shaped like my mother's, who has always been overweight. Though I am well into my forties I do not feel old, but seeing in my body the traces of hers, who has a Victorian mentality, was the last straw. I feel young and I want to look the way I feel.
Last edited by inglesita64; 01-16-2012 at 06:19 PM.
Around the same time my mom was diagnosed with diabetes I stepped on the scale and saw 199lbs. I couldn't believe I was basically 200 lbs. Growing up with an obese mother, I told myself I would never let myself be that unhealthy. Half of my mom's siblings have diabetes. My aunt nearly died bc of undiagnosed diabetes, and she is now legally blind from it. My maternal grandfather had diabetes and died of a heart attack at age 60, and my paternal grandfather almost died from heart disease and had to have a double bypass. My great grandfather also lost a leg to diabetes. They are/were all obese. I do not want to die at a young age, I want to live a long life. Seeing 199 lbs was a wake-up call that I was travelling down the same unhealthy path, setting myself up for the same health problems. I was also unable to wear my jeans anymore (had to wear sweatpants) and I refused to buy a larger size.
PHOTOS -- obviously..they are the devil. i wish i could say it was one moment that made me change. it wasn't. i'm just sick of hiding from the camera. sick of breaking a sweat in the dressing room and cursing myself.
but, lets reminesce about the many times i looked like land whale but refused to really do anything about it:
holiday party at work. a picture of me and two other girls. i'm a little drunk so the typical suck it in and pose didn't happen. i think my EYELIDS had rolls. i had like 3 chins. my face just looked like when you open that pop can of pillsbury biscuit dough. pasty and fat.
i went to a taping of late night with jimmy fallon. had a great time. was so excited to see the episode to see if i was in it. oh, i was. so were my flapping, jiggling arms.
the next one is with family. i was in this skirt that i thought was super cute and some layered tops. i thought it made me look lean. till i saw a picture of me from the side where i'm sitting and my fat is all rolled and tucked into itself. to top it off, my neck looks like a turkey.
i CANT WAIT to just be able to look good in photos.
you cant fix ugly..anyone who would leave a mariage based on 50 pounds is a sallow a** who does not deserve to have wonderful woman in their life such as myself..(Toot, Toot!) Blessings! Vickie
you're damn right. how terrible! i'm sorry for your loss and here's to finding someone wonderful who will appreciate you for you (but not mind your smokin hot bod either!)
I don't expect to be perfect but I find I am extremely uncomfortable with my appearance all the time. I have made several attempts but things kept getting put off due to personal issues.
