Hi everyone
sorry I haven't been in much this past week but with the kids being on school holidays it was busier at work and I ended up working longer hours than normal and I was just so beat when I got home that by the time I had cooked dinner and done the dishes I tended just to crash in the chair until bedtime
I stuck really well to my eating plan last week but I knew TOM was due to make an appearance so I can’t say I was very surprised to find I had gained a pound this week. Although I always expect to gain something at this time of the month it is still very disappointing when I do. I don’t know why it upsets me so much, all I did on friday was burst into tears every few minutes.
I know the reason I have gained weight, it is just fluid retention because my period is due to start, but somehow that doesn’t seem to make it any easier. I keep telling myself how well I have done and that it will soon be gone, but I guess it is just my hormones that won’t allow me to think rationally. The only good thing I can see out of feeling this way is that it still isn’t making me feel like giving up completely.
Yes it is very upsetting and I can’t deny I was so depressed and feeling very sorry for myself , asking why I have to do this when it is so hard...all the effort I put in last week and was rewarded with nothing but a gain in weight.
A few people have told me to avoid these feelings it may be better if I didn’t weigh myself the week my period is due, but that would be a little difficult for me as they are not as regular as they should be, so take this month for instance, I was actually due last Wednesday so if I had taken their advice I wouldn’t have weighed myself last week when I had actually lost 2lbs and then as I didn’t start would I have not weighed this week either?....The next reason I am not going to do this is for me probably the most important reason....This is a weight gain due entirely to fluid retention caused by TOM...it is something I have absolutely no control over at all...I stuck well to my eating plan last week and drank as much water as I normally do.... actually I probably drank a little more. so I am certain I couldn’t have done anything more to prevent the gain, it is something that I have to accept will happen every month and I have to learn to deal with the feelings it gives me. If I don’t weigh myself, I am just hiding from dealing with anything negative and learning nothing. I need to learn as much as I can while I am losing weight, so that when I reach my goal I will be better armed to overcome any problems I face then.To be honest I think really the only reason it got to me so much this time is because last week I had
got down to 15 stone 13lbs so going from the 16's to the 15's was a brilliant feeling, as I am sure you can all identify with.
I haven't weighed in the 15's probably since I was around the age of 15 so you can imagine how good I felt, now this week with the pound gain I am back to 16 stone again. I know it is silly to let myself get so upset about it because it will be gone again next week,( TOM playing nicely and satrting within the next couple of days of course ) but as I said before ...it must have been my hormones that just wouldn't let me think rationally.
To cheer myself up a little I went shopping, I intended only to look at new clothes not to actually buy anything, but I found a store that had a post christmas sale on, there were 3 pairs of trousers there, one in cotton, one in corduroy and a pair of leather ones. the cotton ones and corduroy ones were a size 20 and the leather ones were a size 16, the cotton ones were reduced from £55 to £3.89 and the leather ones were reduced from £135 to £5.99 I just couldn’t believe the prices, I just looked at my hubby and said my goodness if I could fit into those I would have bought them, for that money I would have been mad not too. he laughed at me and said, you might not fit into them yet, but you will in a few weeks and they wont be here then so buy them. Well I didn’t need to be told twice, I did buy them. When I got home I decided to try them on to see how long it would be before I could wear them. Well I was reduced to tears once again when I did, but this time it wasn’t tears of depression. the 2 pairs in size 20 just slipped on and fit really nicely. I can get the size 16’s on, but I can’t fasten them yet, but that was ok, I knew there would be no way they would go anywhere near me, but I didn’t think the size 20’s would either, so I was thrilled when they did and even more thrilled that I could even get the size 16’s on even though they wont fasten yet, it wont be too long before they do.
So although this has been a disappointing weigh in, there has still been something good about the week. Once again this just goes to show exactly how obsessed we become about the numbers on the scales instead of paying more attention to how our bodies look and feel. There is another lesson learned from a disappointment
As usual at this time of the month my cravings for chocolate have been unbearable, but I haven’t given in to them and I am proud of myself for that, when I get as depressed as I have been today it would be so very easy to do that, but I have obviously already learnt a valuable lesson in that I know that no matter how much chocolate I eat at this time, it never satisfies the cravings so where is the point in having any at all, in my opinion, none...it would just make me feel more of a failure, so I have resisted and I can honestly say the feeling I get from knowing I have resisted something that I have wanted so badly is much better than eating the chocolate in the first place.
Gosh I did ramble on a bit there didn't I
I think I'm going to cut and paste most of that and use it to update my journal, its pretty much what I was going to say and it will save typing it all out again ...hehehe...now I am getting lazy
Oh well I seem to be back to my happy jolly self again even with the 1 lb gain, but those leather trousers have really cheered me up I will be trying extra hard from now on to get into those as quickly as possible
Have a great day everyone
Ali
Weekly Weigh In Thread No. 4
) and it goes like this...
boys in blue etc etc.
