I think i must be on Day 15, counting back from end o' month. Not sure if I got balled up on my days somewhere along the line? Anyway, still putt-putting along. That nebulous pall that had overhung the palace lifted here yesterday. I'm aware, today, of being able to keep it gone. Not looking forward to weighing in Sept. 1, but will do it. Oh well. At least once I've done it I can measure my progress. Will definitely resolve never to stop weighing self again, because I ALWAYS get into trouble when I do. Will weigh once a week, yes I will.
OH -- it's just started POURING here! There's my decision -- run or the step tape -- made.
WSW, have you ever journalled your dreams? I've just started again lately, as part of a journalling process from "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron (which is a book I'd heartily recommend for the recovering artist in all of us). I haven't worked many of them out in great detail yet, but I've had some strange ones -- woke up from a very non-nightmarish kind of dream terrified. And it took me a while to calm down. Last week one night I had a nightmare about attacking guinea pigs. Very horror movie-esque, but I woke up thinking how silly it was instead of being frightened. A woman in my writing group also belongs to a Jungian dream analysis group, which I think it might be fun to join. Hope your sleeps are sweet and peaceful now!
I'm glad you enjoy my descriptions of nature experiences. I was struck the other day by how much of my own enjoyment of them is the virtual experience that I can return to whenever I want. And the mental experience is sometimes more powerful even than the physical one. I'm so happy to be able to share those experiences with you! And I remind myself that I can summon those, or similar experiences to give my spirit a lift whenever I need it... Our minds and spirits are wonders, aren't they?
Your breakfast with the Times sounds lovely!
Amarantha, thank you so much for stopping by to say . I hope those pesky whatevers leave you alone SOON! Why must they torment us so???
Eydie, hope all is well with your family. I know that your dad's progress is likely to be uneven and, of course, the down parts must be so hard to deal with. I remember when my son had his psychotic episode how hard it was when it wasn't possible to connect with him... Remember to breathe, treat yourself well, find joy!
Kaylets, I'm reminded of a psychologist I heard on the radio about the overworked, overstressed pace we maintain and the inadequacy of holidays. He said that, in reality, we need a pre-vacation vacation just to wind down sufficiently to really enjoy our holidays. Do you have plans for your time off? Sounds like just taking it easy and nurturing self would be nice... Oh, you definitely need a new job :
Ceara, I hear you! I've been semi-mechanically putting myself through the paces -- fake it till you make it, I guess. I've occasionally felt fantastic after a few days of "clean living" but it's not a given any more. Nevertheless, I know the payoff comes eventually! I'll keep doing it and sooner or later I'll be into it
Anagram, I hope you're well and not too stressed. Remember that we can only live in the present moment, so -- having dealt with those precautions we need to take for future possibilities -- I hope you can relax back into your life, even in its altered state. I know this is a very difficult period and I can't even presume to say I know how you're feeling, but I know you need to look after your own needs for health and peace. Sending love and violets!
Frogger, your trip sounds like it was good, if too short! Kudos on the maintain! Those 5 pounds are history!
Punkin, of Friday, doth thee lurk? Hope all goes well with you. Did you take in the moon this month? Didn't you and Cerise speak telephonically at one time? Actually, maybe I've got her address... Might drop her a postcard...
K -- I must away, work beckons! Love to all, mentioned or un. Let's make this a good one!!!
Till a week off....just need to get thru tomorrow...
The good news is that I got a response finally from the the other division that I applied.
The bad news is that they only called to tell me they've decided to submit my application to the hiring manager. Today. Which means it won't be seen till next week. And that they needed some score info from my review that I couldnt tell her off the top of my head. ( honestly, I thought I had "met expectations" ... didnt realize I had gotten a score...)
The good news is that I bumped into a friend in the cafe who I could trust and asked her where I could find the score info quickly. She explained it would be on my review. Which I found a copy in my duffel bag...
So I made a return call back to my contact but the
Bad news is that I had to leave a message. But I will follow up w/ her tomorrow "just to make sure " she recvd my message and could understand me as I was speaking on my cell phone.....
But,
the GOOD NEWS is that when the HR contact called, she asked what my current salary was as she wanted my ok if the salary was "down" for the positon I was applying.... and when I told her, she said "Ok, that's good ... I 'll put you 're application in".... which was a consideration as I had no idea how this other division paid....
so....
Sometimes the wheels turn slowly....
But it is amazing how that can lift your spirits....
Noticed this evening as I changed that my legs are starting to show the LACK of stairclimbing, etc....
And truth be told, I'm over doing the SF Hot choc..... in fact, just realized I was able to grab a good handful of under chin skin...... and I know I felt the waistband get tighter and tighter this afternoon....
Time to remember that ignoring the facts doesnt change the facts.....
Good morning, Royal ones! Reporting in: still going, never gonna stop, uh-uh. Not quite a week to go before the dreaded WI (not Wisconsin) which I will survive.
Kaylets, ignoring the facts doesn't change 'em? DANG -- there goes my whole plan! (see above) I eventually realized that there was no point in hiding pics that "made me look fat" from other people, because I was likely the only one that hadn't already seen me looking that way Ah, well... onward and downward, right? Glad to hear the hopeful news at work.
'Tis quiet round the palace, but maybe September's scent of fresh pencil shavings will lure wand'ring Queens back... Love to all! Let's make this a good one!
Okay, Kaylets, you and me! I'm going thru the same thing. Ive lost my edge, I'm feeling puffy and untoned. We can get it back, you know, and it won't take long. We just have to do it and I've got to or I'll be frightfully inhappy. My clothes aren't looking good on me anymore even--I'm kinda at that phase and I find that i don't care for it, AT ALL!!!
My dad is scheduled for his skin graft on Monday which means more anaesthesia and we're all so afraid that he'll have the same rection to it as last time.
I've been taking him breakfast most mornings and this morning I finally realized that I'm really enjoying it! It's something tangible I can do for him and it's even brought out a sweetness in him that I'll always remember.
Good afternoon ladies. Just got back from lunch with a couple of friends. I was SO bad We went to this GREAT french bistro and I started off with their amazing potato and leek soup followed by roasted chicken green curry and jasmine rice and finally, crepe suzette. OH THE HUMANITY!!!!!!!!! I hate going there because their food is so wonderful you just want to eat everything on the menu. Oh well. Start over....
Brief howdy - and thanks for the violets and the walk through the woods to the harbor in the last light of the moon, Arabella. I walked it with you in my mind.
Some improvements in dh, some problems still. it looks like I may be bringing him home just after Labor Day if all goes well. It will be overwhelming with all I'll have to do but I want him here and know my magic can make him well - or maybe better will be good enough. Planning, planning.
Missing the peace of the palace, falling apart and alternately being proud of how well I've managed this nightmare. Somehow I have stumbled finally into onederland. Not weighing often (almost not at all) but last two have shown me at 198.6 or so which more or less is a 5 lb loss - unfortunately one for which I can take no credit at all.
Perhaps by the end of this thread, I may have regained enough routine to be able to take the occasional few minutes on a more regular basis and pay attention to my own diet. DH is on yet a more restricted diet (cannot swallow properly) which will take even more attention than prior diet. He's down to 149 lbs (5' 10" or so) from his 195 or up of three years ago. My goal was to weigh less than he and I guess it still is but he keeps making it tougher.
Anyway thanks for the good thoughts and the warm group hugs and hi to all Royals.
Good morning, Queenlies! I hope this weekend finds you all well. I've got some weird upper-body thing, whether virus or what but it all hurts, hurts to take a deep breath,even. I thought I might have strained muscles -- overstretching at tai chi, or lifting DGS onto my shoulders, or some such, but it really feels more like a virus I think. Going to mostly lay low today. I went for a walk and will have a jaccuzzi soon. No yoga or tai chi though, I don't think...
Eydie, so glad you're having those special times with your dad, taking him breakfast. That's something I've always found striking about difficult periods -- how sweet the moments of grace! There's something about being fully immersed in one of those heavy-duty real life situations that allows for some kind of counter-balance in heightened awareness of good things.
Frogger, that restaurant sounds like it's worth it -- wouldn't want to see what would happen if I were to dine there frequently but once in a while a fabulous, calories-be-damned meal is good for the soul!
Anagram, OMIGOSH!!! Onederland! I think you're going to have to take some credit, too, because you could easily have hit the comfort food. I read a fantastic book about a young widow doing that, btw, called "Good Grief." Will you have help when DH comes home? I hope so! Violets have become one of my favorite visualizations, since my walks in the Adirondacks. All the more powerful for me because they're inextricably linked to your spirit.
K -- I'm poking around here looking for more good books. Just finished "The Crimson Petal and the White" by Michel Faber. It was fantastic -- over 800 pages of fantastic, about a prostitute in Victorian England. Also just finished "My Father's House" by Sylvia Fraser, which was very good, too. I've got another very promising biggie lined up, "The Labyrinth." I'm feeling very compelled to seek out all the best things to read today...
K -- back to it. The jaccuzzi's almost full. I think I may do a little work today, since sitting at the computer is actually more comfortable than lounging Thinking I'm going to declare it a four-day-er next weekend. People just work too much, I say!
Love to all, mentioned or un-. Have a wonderful day!
Will have as much help as I can muster, Wood Nymph. Don't know what that will actually be. Or if 9/6 date will work out. Or much of anything. Real stress on my Virgo mind which likes to have stuff all plotted out. I have lists for this, for that and for another way. I do know I will need help. He's saying he should go to nursing home but PD patients don't get a lot of choices. Closest is about 45 minutes away in either direction. I told him I can't say "never" but I want to try home first but may look at one between me and the kids if I get a chance. I couldn't begin to list all the physical problems my darling has at this moment but thankfully he came back to me with his mind intact. And as you said to Eydie, each moment is precious.
Anagram, I must have that part of my chart in Virgo -- I'm okay once everything is plotted out but I HATE not knowing what I'll do in various eventualities. You know, they come to pass and we always manage to deal with them, but I like to feel like I know what I'll do in each case. I'm so glad your darling is himself mentally. And also that, should he have to go to a nursing home, he's mentally prepared to do that. I'm sure he hates to think of being a burden on his beloved.
Yo to all s and good vibes to all worried about the health or well-being of loved ones today (me, too, actually) ... just wanted to drop into the palace and relate a tale of POWER!!!
Why are kids so evil?
Came out of grocery store today, feelin' very demoralized because of events on the beat previously related to ya ... started putting my groceries car, this kid about 11 rolls down his truck window, he was in backseat ... there were several kids in the vehicle and I presume an adult because the truck was running ... out of the blue, the kid starts harassing me, making rude comments and noises as if I were a teen-aged girl or something (I don't KNOW why the adult, if there was one, did not say something to him) and it got louder and louder and louder ... I tend to internalize these things and feel as I did when a child and people bullied me (or an adult whom people tend to bully) ... but all of a sudden I realize he's a kid and I'm an adult, so I fix him with an awful witch gaze and shout as loud as possible: "SHUT UP!" ... not a term I often use as I think it's crude, and also assuming this would make him want to torture me even worse ... but he closed his mouth, his eyes got huge and he looks for all the world as if a witch HAD hexed him. He stares at me, quickly rolls up his window, slinks back on the seat ... I resume putting groceries in car, get in the driver seat and drive away.
OOooh! I love it, Amarantha -- you know those moments when you use your power and it's recognized. A few years back, at a literary awards ceremony, the president of the university was the MC, my DH and I won awards. DH had been screwed over royally, could not get a tenured job, despite hard work and very high ratings by students. Aaaaanyway, the president of the university always makes a point of correcting people to force them to call him "Doctor" rather than "Mister." Throughout the ceremonies, however, he persistently referred to DH as "Mister," which I felt was a very pointed slight. Afterwards, the president was going around gladhanding. When he came up to congratulate me, I summoned up all my power and, with a huge smile, said "MISTER Elliot, I so enjoyed your presentation!" He, literally (meaning he actually did this) clutched his heart and reeled backwards.
Yes! We should use the power wisely, but isn't it nice to know we possess it!
amarantha-good for you for standing up for yourself with that brat, er child! way to go!!
arabella-loved hearing your story too! i love it when the good guy wins. hope you're feeling better.
anagram-so good to see you within the palace walls, and relieved to hear that your valiant dh will be home with you soon. what a long, tough road this has been/continues to be for you both.
eydie-bringing your dad breakfast and sharing that special time must mean an awful lot to him.
hi kaylets-when i wake up so early unintentionally(!) i think of you getting ready for your day with enthusiasm and it helps to remind me to enjoy the extra time in the morning as a gift, rather than dwell on how exhausted i am. when i woke up at 5am, i poured myself a cup of tea and greeted the day listening to good music, and read a good book.
have been able to remain op and exercise regularly. can't say it is without struggle some days, but i'm doing it nonetheless. well, need to get my day started officially. just wanted to check in with the palace dwellers, and wish you all a good morning. thinking of you all, mentioned or unmentioned. take care.
Fly-by Just reporting in, Day 18. Glad my queenly co-horts didn't think I was overly witchy for zapping the university president with a highly focused bolt of power. Whap! Zap! Bam-boom -- they better not mess with us!
wsw, me too! I really try to think of that as extra time, for my own benefit and to use as I please. I love being up an hour or so before DH, in the early morning peace and quiet. Of course, it's easier when one is not exhausted -- isn't everything! I've been feeling less tired many mornings since I started my new campaign -- makes it so much easier to be enthusiastic, for sure.
Yup, bam! Don't mess with us s 'cause we have POWER!!!
Guys, sorry about brevity mode and the me-me-me-ness ... it's just how it is for me right now, not feelin' well (think it's blood sugar issues and/or depression) but am thinkin' of y'all ... AND SENDING VIBES TO YA ALSO E ... hang in.
Gonna go read ... bought two more o' those kind of anthropology potboiler novels of a series I've gotten hooked on (Gear 'n Gear) and will lie down for an hour or so ... Arabella I almost bought the Faber book you were speaking of but decided to pass for now as it looks like a between-employment read and I plan on being in that mode soon, Goddess willin' 'n the wash don't rise.
Day 15
Very horror movie-esque, but I woke up thinking how silly it was instead of being frightened. 
A woman in my writing group also belongs to a Jungian dream analysis group, which I think it might be fun to join. Hope your sleeps are sweet and peaceful now! 
. I hope those pesky whatevers leave you alone SOON! Why must they torment us so??? 
: 
of Friday, doth thee lurk? Hope all goes well with you. Did you take in the moon this month? Didn't you and Cerise speak telephonically at one time? Actually, maybe I've got her address... Might drop her a postcard... 
Day 16
Not quite a week to go before the dreaded WI (not Wisconsin) which I will survive. 
Ah, well... onward and downward, right? Glad to hear the hopeful news at work.
We went to this GREAT french bistro and I started off with their amazing potato and leek soup followed by roasted chicken green curry and jasmine rice and finally, crepe suzette. OH THE HUMANITY!!!!!!!!! 
I hate going there because their food is so wonderful you just want to eat everything on the menu. Oh well. Start over....
