Hello,
Just a quick pop in. Tonight is weigh-in night..please let those scales be the same or down a little. I want two weeks in a row of no gain.

I'm back to writing my food down. If you don't mind, I think I'll put it in my daily posts. If you don't see it, please ask me why. I need to get on the ball with that and stay with it.

Spores: I want to know if you got past the "awfuls". Did you do some exercise? Did you feed your emotion or did you fuel your body? I know how the "awfuls" makes you feel. I fight that battle a lot. Say to yourself "I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me".

How's everyone else doing today?

Here's my menu for 3/17/05

B=1 bowl of rice crispes w/ milk, water
L=1/2 ham sandwich, sweet potato, peas, water
D=4 p. of white pizza with veggies, 1 p. of angel food cake, 1 rootbeer
Water total=74 oz
Exercise=ab work (not going to the Y this week because of DH being home and not being able to go out--that should change today..he sees the surgeon for his followup)

Ok..got to run. I'll check in later.

Susie

A quicky. Yesterday was awesome. Today was looooong with irritable kids. Glad they are gone or asleep. Wen to Book Club. It rocked.
See you tomorrow.

Worth sharing.....

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and
>>after he had just finished a rough first day on the job: a flat
>>tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric drill quit and his
>>ancient one ton truck refused to start.
>>
>> While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On
>>arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward
>>the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the
>>tips of the branches with both hands.
>>
>>
>> When opening the door he underwent an amazing
>>transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he
>>hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.
>>
>>
>> Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my
>>curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen
>>him do earlier.
>>
>>
>> "Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't
>>help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those
>>troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children.
>>So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and
>>ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up
>>again." "Funny thing is," he smiled," when I come out in the
>>morning to pick 'em up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember
>>hanging up the night before."

Good morning all,
It's suppossed to be 60 degree's in Ohio today. The sun is really bright this morning and I feel alive! I can really feel my energy level come up when it starts getting warmer.

I stayed the same on the scales last night. That's good. I feel like I'm moving in a forward motion now.

Holly: I loved the thought you shared. Sorry to hear that the day was so long for you. Hopefully today will be better.

Here's my menu for yesterday:
B=rice crispes with milk, water
L=1/2 a ham sandwich, pretzals, 1 p. of angel food cake
D=1 Buddie boy sandwich from Big Boy, onion rings, 1 root beer float (can you tell it was after I weighed in?! lol)
Water total: 84 oz.
Exercise: Ab work.

Today's menu:
B=rice crispes with milk, water
L=going to Damon's with DH, I think I'll have this big salad they have and a roll.
D=I think it's going to be Subway (at home...DH is tuned into those basketball games)
Exercise=Ab work

Everyone have a great day...plan to succeed.

Susie

The grouch did the grout,heeheeeheeheehee...DH got up on the right side of the bed and got half the grout done in the tub surround. It looks BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!

It was a looooooong trying day yesterday.

DS was needy and VERY emotional and had several meltdowns. sigh. One already today.
Other kids were moody. I looked at the clock at 1pm and almost cried, still had 4 hours to go.
Made supper for the troops, took a shower and went to book club. It was wonderful. It is such a nice group. Received many compliments on my snacks and for leading the discussion.Felt nice to be with adults and using my brain for something other than family and home.
Niggles today and 6 kids. Laundry to do.Cat puke to clean up.
Going to Grandma’s tonight. I will put the depends in her laundry bag with a note.

I ate again last night. It is definitely a reaction to dealing with DS. He is exhausting on every level. Sometimes I wonder if it will get easier and I have the gumption to deal with this for another 15+ years. The first 7 have been beyond exhausting.
The last couple of days seem like about 4 steps back. All the recent progress is out the window. giant sigh.

Happy Friday All............

Supposed to be 60 and sunny here in Indiana today too! I just love it. Makes it hard to come back in from lunch. I have many errands to run, so I think I will roll my window down and enjoy the beauty.

Worked last night at Kohl's and have a bit of a headache today. I think maybe cause I have not been eating healthy and cannot get my body to move.

Everyone have a wonderful weekend.

Annie

Good morning everyone. Sorry I missed a day yesterday. I guess I didn't feel like I had anything worthy to say LOL

Susie:
I think it's a great idea for you to write your food down, whatever it is, just to be accountable!

Holly:
The "bush" sounds really good. You'll have to tell me about what it is in case it could be a nice tourist spot for me and DH when we come. And, I LOVE good baked beans!

Anne:
I've not been eating the greatest this week - the fast food bug caught me a couple days and I've been feeling headachy too. I hate that feeling.

Spores:
Glad that your midterms went as well as they could have. It is nice to hear that you are honest about how you feel about curling up in front of a movie and eating cake. I've been feeling that way lately. PS- DH and I have started applying for jobs in Chicago! Tell me what types of positions you'll be looking for and I'll keep an eye out for you.


I just haven't been feeling good about myself lately. My back is sore, my head's been fuzzy and I've been eating crap. This is the point when I know it's time to exercise again. I'm starting to revert to wearing my looser tops again. That's not a good sign. I just haven't felt "normal" since I got the rejection to that job exactly a week ago. Gotta get out of the funk. When I get home from work, I want to eat take-out and curl up and do nothing.

Here are some positive things though...we can't dwell on the negatives, can we?
- I finished a novel this week and will be starting a new one this weekend. Been making more time for reading lately, no matter what it is.
- I have been eating pretty well this week for being down. I've been eating lots of wraps, every day for lunch and dinner pretty much. I had McDonalds once for breakfast. Yesterday I stir fried chicken breast and mushrooms and put it in a spinach wrap with shredded cheese, lettuce, tomato and cucumber. Last night night I made wraps with sliced deli meat, hummus and veggies and I made a fresh fruit salad with banana, pineapple and beautiful strawberries. It was so yummy - I think my body has been craving fresh fruits and cold soy milk. Berries are so expensive, so I'm determined to finish them off quickly and not let them rot.
- today I brought a veggie wrap for breakfast. they had donuts here and I had one...bad me. And I'm still hungry. So I'm going to go about my day they way I intended and have my veggie wrap...then I brought a veggie lasagna for lunch and another fresh fruit salad. Also soy and flaxseed tortilla chips which are YUMMY.
- tonight I'm looking forward to cooking for myself. I've got fish thawing in the fridge that I will broil and I'm going to stir-fry asparagus and mushrooms.

DH is out of town this weekend so I'll have the house to myself. I'm going to clean up and have a nice neat home for the whole weekend...maybe rent a couple of movies, read and go for a walk each day.

Sounds like a plan to me.

Girlie

MyChoiceSusi: I think posting your menu sounds like a great idea! Hope your DH's follow-up goes well. I did poorly with eating Wednesday night. Fed the emotions. Oh well. Back on the horse.

Holly: Cute story, thanks for sharing. Hope your DS is feeling better again soon. I'm sure it will continue to improve. Just like weight loss: lots of progress, then backslide, then back to the grind.

Annie: Sounds like beautiful weather! Time for walking and playing in the park! Have a good weekend.

Girlie: Sorry you've been feeling down in the dumps. I know that feeling. But you can shake it off! Just doing that first workout will remind you how good it feels to move the body. Your wraps sound so good! Thanks for listing all your positive things; what a great idea! Hope you have a great weekend -- tuck in and get some you time!

Missed posting yesterday due to massive cleaning. I cleaned my house form 10 in the morning until midnight. Want the house to look nice for houseguests this weekend. I didn't exercise yesterday, but with all the cleaning I got a workout! I am so sore this morning. Reminds me of why I want to lose weight: so I can do active things without hurting! Food was okay. I was so busy cleaning I didn't have time to overeat. BF brought home burgers for dinner which was sweet of him but not healthy for me. Oh well. Only ate half my ice cream.

Taking a cue from Susi and listing my menu for today:

Breakfast: Oatmeal with walnuts, wheat germ, soy milk, honey, and cinnamon.
Lunch: Clif bar, banana
Snack: Another Clif bar
Dinner: Indian take-out

Okay, not a great menu plan, but we have no groceries in the house.

And taking a cue from Girlie, some successes/positives:
-Did my treadmill two times this week. That's something!
-House is clean and it feels sooooo good.
-Just two days until spring break! I am going to relaaaaaax.

Hope everyone is having a great Friday! I don't know if I'll get to post much this weekend, but I'll be sending happy healthy weekend thoughts to all!

Hello,
The accounting test is finished and ready to turn in! We have open book tests but they are hard. This one took 3 1/2 hours. I think I did good on it.

I'm on "Spring Break" for two weeks!!! Very excited about this. Looking forward to getting my exercise routine back on track.

DH had a great followup appt. He will go back to work on March 31. I'm getting a little crazy with him in the house so much; hard to work around him. But I'm going to use it to my best advantage. I'm going to ask him to plan the meals for the next two weeks so that when I get home from work, dinner will be ready and we can eat before it's late and then go work that food off at the gym.

3/19/05 Menu
B=rice crispes w/milk
L=salad with blue cheese dressing (I use very little dressing due to IC), 1/4 of onion loaf (damons), 1 roll, water
D=Subway toasted veggie & cheese sub with oil. 1/4 of onion loaf (leftover), 1 milk shake, water
Exercise=ab work
Water total=64 oz

3/20/05 Menu
B=rice crispes w/ milk
I have to get to the grocery, so I have no idea of the rest of the food until after I shop.

Bought a really cute summer dress last night at Cato's. It's a size 20. The 18 was a little too snug, the 20 fits nice and will look even better as I continue to loos weight. I have a few graduations to attend in May and a confirmation as well, and i wanted something that looked good now. It only cost me $22.00 and I bought a pair of mules to go with it for $12.00...not to bad of a price for an outfit. I already have jewlery to wear with it.

Have a great day. Work hard to stay on plan. Weekends are the most difficult but remember, we have a weigh-in day coming up.

Susie

Yesterday ,early aft, my washing machine decided to over flow. I didn't notice it until, while playing Go Fish, I heard raining. I looked outside....nothing. I opened the basement door. OOPS!! Apparently the diaphram that tells the machine that it is full quit. DH was up to his elbows in grout. I had 6 kids here and a house full of water. Yeehaa.
The phone lines got wet and shorted out so I couldn't get on line. BUT my clever husband went down and disconnected, dried up and reconnected the lines.
He has been wonderful the last couple of days.
I guess sleeping 12-15 hours a day for almost 2 weeks did him some good. The grout is ALL finished and it looks just peachy.He is even talking about getting the trim up.
My kids are knackered. I put DS to bed at 3pm yesterday for being a weeny ALL day. He fell asleep til 6pm,went back to sleep at 8. DD feel asleep at 6:15 pm and slept til 7 this morning. I went to bed at 9 and slept til 8am. We are all still recovering from the snotty nose bug. It's been a long one.
I postponed my appointments last night til Tues.
I ate well yesterday and did NOT snack last night.
Today after some tidying we went to the folks at the lake. My Mom had 2 paintings in an Ontario wide Juried art show. Quite a coup for her!! I took a peek. I picked up groceries.Stayed for supper had a hottub. Kids are both sleeping.
Easter party for the kids at church tomorrow. I am having them all decorate and wear an Easter bonnet/hat and we will have a parade and contest. Everyone will win a prize!!
Gotta do the darn dishes. The dish fairy hasn't appeared.

hello girls!
well i am back. thank you all for the good wishes. it was a very trying week for my family. my gran was 86 yo she lived a long life, she has been ill with alzheimers for the past 4 years. it was very sad to see her go. i just kept waiting for my old gran to come back from the alzheimers you know? so she is resting now and at peace and that is what she needed. i ate terrible all week comfort food! i am scared to hop on the scale. i am back on track today though! i can't respond individually to everyone right now but i will catch up with you all and hop back in. hope you all have a great weekend!!

Hi Jodi!!!! My Oma died a year and a half ago at 89 after 5 years of altzheimers. It is good to know they are at peace and you do go through a mourning period as the person you knew drifts away. I am sooooo sorry for your loss.It is hard on everyone.
I have been comfort eating too. Lets start fresh together TODAY!!!!!!

I'm finally back. Too many posts to catch up on, but jodi, I do want to say how sorry I am about your grandma.

Quickly: I was in sunny Florida for three days, didn't see the beach much, but enjoyed the heck out of the sunlight and warmth I was able to catch between working. Ate erratically, but I don't regret eating that paella, it was so good I wanted to rub it all over my face :D

One of my oldest friends was in town from Alaska. I haven't seen her in 15 years (or more!), so we hung out Wednesday and Thursady nights. Much overeating ensued--again, it was special grub, not like I was wasting my calories on Milky Ways or something. And on Friday, yet another friend was in from out of town, calling for another fabulous dinner and a margarita...

The good news is that I did get my exercise in. I did a lot of power-walking when I was in Florida, and have been going to Curves, including getting there in the mornings, on a regular basis. This morning I went down to the dreary little workout room in the basement, and worked up a sweat while my laundry was int he machines. Saturday AM I went grocery shopping, so I've been eating on program and feeling much more like myself. I've climbed back onto the wagon, and if I work really, really hard, my Easter goal may still be within reach.

More tomorrow--in the meantime, make good choices!

judy

Honeybuns are getting in the way...
 

Hello All,

I need a few words of encouragement. I am almost at the 199lbs goal, but I am starting to crave Honeybuns.

HELP!! :yikes:

Back away from the honeybuns!!!! They are just not worth it. Look at your success!!!!!


HI Judy!! You sound WONDERFUL!!!!!!

Holly,

thanks I needed that. I didn't understand where this craving was coming from, then I realized that it's almost that time of the month again. I have about 2 more weeks worth of this craving.

Wish me luck!

~Tae2Tas

Hi everyone, sorry I've been rambing again. I've had a little trouble adjusting to dh new hrs. We are getting up earlier, but I have been going back to bed and sleeping to late. I have been keeping op for my exercise. Not so good for food I ate out 3 days last week at work, chinese buffet 1 day, Mexican buffet the next. and fried chicken on fri. I don't think I could live at Curve's and exercise enough to make up for that week. I have left over salmon and brocc/carrots to take today. I better go, get ready. It's great to see everyone back and doing well.

BIG HUGS

Morning Debbie. Your lunch sounds perfect today!!!

2nd day of spring and my nose is crusty. Ack!!!
I had a low grade fever all day yesterday. DH saw me taking Advil and asked why. I told him I had a fever. I was doing all the regular stuff, not in the fetal postion on the couch.....he looked bewildered. Made me laugh.
The party yeterday was perfect.

We had 17 kids in very exciting decorated hats!! It was sooooooo much fun.The food was good. I ate well there. Last night was a different story. I ate and ate and ate and never did get full. Maybe because I really am sick. I laid on the couch and watched skating last night. Enjoyable.
4 day week ahead then Easter weekend. We have a hockey banquet, Bday parties and my family is coming here.
The first week of April is filling up with MEETINGS for everything. ARG!!!
DS has said he didn’t want to go to school but then changed his mind!! Fingers crossed!
DH is still looking for work.We have sent out a dozen resumes.
The kids and DH are all completely over the bug and are very well rested. No whining yesterday. It was nice. I puttered , the kids played well and DH went to a friends to watch the race.
It rained all day yesterday and then snowed over night. Foggy right now. Some sun would be nice!
It may be a soap opera afternoon for me!!
Hugs chicks!!

Hi everyone! I'm a newbie - soooo wanting to leave any number starting w/ a 2 behind forever! LOL

I'm Jenn, 29, mommy to Alex, who will be 3 in May. I work part-time, so I'm not online much, but I pop in when I can.

As for my weight loss, I'm pretty much doing my own thing. Watching portions, eating mostly at home, ditching the fast food, etc. And trying to get motivated to get on that treadmill that sits in my basement.

I desperately want to get to 199 by summer - I'm at 223 now, so I know it's a reasonable goal. I think finally making it to under 200 will be a huge burst of motivation for me to get all the way down to my ultimate goal of around 125 or so.

Good morning everyone,
I can't believe it's Monday again already. Does it feel like spring where you are? It does a little bit here in Ohio. At least the sun is shining. I'm wearing new lime green pants today (size 20) and a lime green and white stripped spring sweater and new taupe colored mules. I wanted to feel good about myself today and remind myself how excited I was when I bought these pants and they were a size 20 and not a 24. I'm planning that when I shop for new clothes again in the fall, I'll be in 16's. I've got a lot of work to do, but I'm excited again about working towards my goals.

I didn't do too bad with my food on Saturday. Yesterday was a little off. I bought these sugar cookies that I like to have with milk. I knew when I bought them I would overdo on them and I did. At leas they are gone now and I'm promising myself that I won't do that to myself again. Why would I want to. That's the question I need to ask myself when I feel like doing those sorts of things. I'm the only one who is stopping me from losing my weight and getting on with things. I need to be accountable to myself.

Is anyone else a big Oprah fan? I am. Not just for her weightloss efforts and direction but because she knows that it's more than about what we are eating, it's the reason's behind it. I would recommed the April issue of Ophra's magazine to everyone. It's very motivational and it's got me pumped up again.

I'll post my food later on today. I have no idea what I'm having for lunch or dinner. DH is in charge of meals this week, so I need to talk to him and get an idea. I can tell you that there will be NO cookies and milk in my posts. Also headed back to the gym tonight. Feeling ready to get my body moving again.

Jodi: Glad to have you back with us. So sorry to hear about your grandmother.

Welcome to the Newbies. This is a great source of encourgement.

Got to be busy at work gals. Later!
Susie

Good morning everyone! Happy Monday...blah...just counting down the days until Friday again.

I see a couple new faces - welcome! I will get to know you quickly here.

So much that I missed I can't catch up. Sounds like everyone is doing well though!

Susie - you sound great! Congrats on the size 20's - you are with me - trying to make our way to the teens again!

Spores - you sound great too. You and I must be alike - a neat house and empty kitchen sink = happy!

I had a great weekend everyone. It was so nice to be at home and relax for a weekend. I cleaned the house and I felt good about that because I know the housework isn't looming in the back of my mind. Plus, I was able to keep it that way for more than one day because DH was gone! I did eat a bad meal once, fried chicken which I adore...and made wraps the rest of the weekend. I cooked fish last night with asparagus and corn and it was SO good. Will have leftovers tonite. I read, I watched movies, I hung out with the cats, I went to the GYM and finally shaved my legs after like 3 weeks - that in itself makes me feel so much better about myself. I deep conditioned my hair at the gym and braided it before bed and now I have nice soft bouncy curly hair today. I'm well rested and feel good. I weighed at the gym and am up to 234 again - just a couple pounds up - I have decided to be at 229 by the end of March. Time to...as Emeril says - "kick it up notch!"

Also, I got up and left for work in plenty of time, no rushing.

I'm meeting DH at the Vietnamese restaurant in a few minutes. They have a lunch buffet and I'm going to get NO rice and load up on veggies/tofu.

Now I just need 5pm to be here!

Talk to you all soon!

Girlie

Hi everybody! Sounds like everyone is doing pretty well and bouncing back from off-plan eating. Glad to see you all. Welcome to the new folks!

Well, today is the first day of Spring Break!!!! I worked extra hard this weekend to catch up on my teaching work, and I have promised myself a real break: no grading, no lesson plans, no student conferences. Just five whole days of not thinking about teaching. Woooo!

The hardest part for me will be that part of me knows that I need a real break. I need to relax, do things that are fun and healthy, write, etc. But the other part of me wants to magically accomplish in one week everything that I have been putting off for three months. And when I put that kind of pressure on myself, I always crumble. The other hard part will be staying on plan. You'd think that the extra time would mean I would get in every single work out and cook lots of healthy meals! But in reality, without structure to my days, I easily fall into wallowing and skip workouts. So my goal this week is to exercise and have fun with it.

Thinking of everyone with happy Monday thoughts. Let's all have a great week!

Good morning,
I'm at a computer class today,so I'm out of the office. It felt great to get to the gym last night. I was able to pick my workout up where I had left off, although I did feel it when I was finished.

I did good with the food yesterday, but I did have 2 cookies. I think I'm just that sort of person who has to have something sweet after I eat my meals. My goal is to just limit those sweets. When I don't have them, I feel deprived and feeling that way leads me to binging.

Spores: I'm on spring break too! This week is really finals week, but our final was a take home. It needed to be handed in by this Thursday. I handed mine in yesterday (took me 3.5 hrs to do it on Saturday), so I get a two week break and I'm excited about it. How are you doing with your exercise? I'm the type of person who also needs structure.

Girlie: Sounds like you had a nice weekend...I know you felt like you needed that. How did you do at the buffett?

Menu for 3/20/05-
B=rice crispes w/ milk
L-(Damons) BLT salad, water
D-Sloppy Joe sandwich, french fries, broccoli, green peppers, cucumbers, water
Exercise= walked for 30 min. Lower body workout with weights.
Water total=84 oz.

Classs is about ready to start. Talk to you all later.
Susie

HI CHICKS!!
Well, the sun is shining!!
I went to bed at 8pm slept til 7 am. I am really sick. Fever, body aches, ears are aching, nose running....still doing all the usuall stuff. No fetal position yet.
It is the photography day at the church for the church directory. I am the co cordinator. Yikes, I feel like crap. The appts are booked. I need to be there from 6-9:30. Our photos are booked for 7pm. I bet i will look glam! Not.
I just had a heavenly shower and popped some meds. All the big kid are in school. I will watch the tube and lay down all morning. Conserve energy.
DH is at a job interview.
I didn’t snack last night because I wasn’t awake!! There’s a plan.

Good morning everyone, I just got back from curves, I really love it. I have several loads of laundry to catch up on. That and housework is going to fill up today.

Holly: I hate to hear you are sick again. Have you tried Airborne? It was invented by a teacher who got tired of
being sick all the time. Oprah raves about it. You can get in most pharmacies and walmart. We have tried it and had good results. dh2 had just started feeling bad and had a runny nose it started taking it and was much better the next day. It never turned into a full blown cold.
The washer has stopped so away I go!
Welcome to everyone new

BIG HUGS

MyChoiceSusi: Woo, Spring Break! Doesn't it feel nice? I sure have needed it. Just a break from the pressure. But then there is the lack of structure, which is bad for me. Hm, wish there was a way to have structure in my life without stress and pressure! Maybe that's a balance I need to work on. Definately would help with weight loss. I too struggle with the need for something sweet after a meal. I have found that sometimes I can manage to get something sweet that's also healthy and satisfying. Sometimes I slice bananas and strawberries and stir them into some strawberry yogurt. Or a sliced apple with some peanut butter or fat-free carmel sauce. But all too often I go for the cookies or brownies. But fruit usually does satisfy my sweet tooth if I can get myself to eat it. Anyone else have healthy sweets ideas?

Holly: Oh no, sorry to hear you're sick! And with so much to do! Hope you can find time to rest and recoup. Feel better soon.

Well, yesterday was not a great day for eating or exercise. But I did do some major cleaning. I am trying to clean out my house and get rid of tons of excess stuff. I am a packrat, and this place is filled to the gills. We're moving to a much smaller place this summer, so I need to mercilessly clean out. So yesterday while I was attempting to do this, I had an intersting revelation. I was having a terrible time trying to get rid of stuff. I was going through my shoes first. I have, well, way too many shoes. I used to have over 100 pairs, and I've managed to get rid of some over the years, but I was still looking at a walk-in closet filled with 80 pairs of shoes. Ridiculous. I wear maybe 10 of them. The rest I can't wear. They're too narrow or too high, hurt my feet and give me blisters. But I kept thinking, "well, maybe if I lose weight, I could wear these." Or I was thinking, "oh, I wore these at so-and-so's wedding, I have to keep them." We're talking about some shoes I have worn once in ten years! And I realized that part of why I hold onto stuff is because I create my identity out of things I own. Owning the red five-inch stillettos means that I am still (or might someday be) the kind of person who wears them. And I found as I went through the room that the same is true for all kinds of other stuff: clothes, lipsticks, nail polish, knick-knacks. I have this horrible fear that if I get rid of the stuff I don't use and don't really want right now, I am eliminating all the alternate possible lives and identities I might someday have (or have had in the past). And the thing is (this is getting relevant, just wait), I think maybe it's the same thing with the weight. Like, if I lose the weight, that means I change. Not just change how my body looks, but change my identity. I've identified myself as a fat girl for so long. Not being that means being...well, a different identity. And a changed identity is scary! I don't know what it means or what it's like. Being a new identoty comes with responsibility. If I become a thin, healthy person, that means I am the kind of person who works out every day, who skips the cake at weddings, who finds comfort in non-food ways. And I don't know who that person is or how to be her. It's scary because it's changing something more fundamental than what I eat for dinner: it's changing a major part of my identity.

A weight-loss counselor once told me that I was holding onto my weight as protection. I thought that was silly at the time: why would I hold onto something that makes me miserable? But now I think maybe there's something there. What we know is always easier than something new and unknown. Who we are, who we identify ourselves as, is enormously powerful and compelling. The change that identity, even if we know the change willbe good, is fundamentally frightening. The writer Bahnu Kapil once said, "The new gesture is more painful than the habitual gesture of pain." I think I'm starting to get that.

So what I want to do now is look at this. What are the habitual, familiar gestures I fall into? How do I create my identity? How can I overcome the fear that goes with releasing old identities?

And as my mom always says, "you must get rid of the lesser good to make room for the greater good."

So now I only own 50 pairs of shoes. It's a start.

Debbie: we must have been posting at the same time! congrats on your sucess at Curves. That is just wonderful to find a place where you feel comfortable. I have heard of Airborne too; I will have to stock up on some. I am always getting student colds!

The energy is so good here today! I hope everyone is doing well. Holly, hope you are feeling better today! You don't want your picture taken with a big red nose :(

Girlie--How was your lunch yesterday? I love Vietnamese food.

Tae2Tas--Don't let the hormones get you down! They always send me into massive carb cravings.

Spores--I think I'll start calling you Imelda ;) Thanks for the meditation on holding onto our weight, despite wanting to lose it. I'm a beliver in how intertwined our size is with our self-esteem, our past, our fears and the way we've always done things. It's so much to deal with, it's just easier to count calories, right? Well, yeah, until that stops working and we don't know why......

Debbie--Hi, fellow Curvie! My main gripe about Curves, along with the lack of shower facilities, is the music. The beat is helpful, but generally the songs make me grit my teeth! But I can tolerate almost anything for just half an hour, and it's really helping my muscle tone.

Hey, Jenn--welcome! I'm also trying to work up some enthusiasm for the treadmill. Congratulations on your progress so far!

Susie--do you like fruit? I'm fighting my sweet tooth with apples, berries and pears.

I'm feeling good today. Didn't have time to work out (had to write out my bills and get them in the mail, which does make me sweat a bit :?: ) but I got a short walk in this morning. I packed a salad w/salmon for lunch, and will be meeting a friend and her mom for dinner at an Italian restaurant. I will order something heavy on the veggies and fish, no pasta, and pretend that the bread was baked with cyanide....I haven't changed my ticker, but my scale says I'm back up to 241 :mad: I tell myself that it's all this new muscle. But it's also from giving in to too many temptations. Gotta get with the program. I'm seeing the bariatric doctor on Thursday, and the number on the scale today doesn't reflect my progress over the last month. I won't be at 235 for Easter, but I would like to be within hailing distance!

Have a great afternoon, ladies!

judy

Howdie Everyone!!

It is great to come here and read everyone's wonderful, uplifting posts.

Holly thanks for the recipe, but won't get to use in on Easter. My crazy-older brother, whom I love to death, has decided we are having mexican for Easter. Nothing like Easter tacos. hahaha. His band plays on April 16th at John Wayne's Pub on the southside of Indy. I wish you all could come. It is a blast to go and lots of fun when you know the band. Some of my Kohl's buddies are going to go with. I took them a demo CD and they all loved the band. I am excited to go, as I don't get out much. Always doing kid stuff. You would think the kid stuff would slack off once the kids get older (17 & 19), but you just do older kid stuff with them. Does that make sense? Keeps me young.

I have been slammed with work at work, but not complaining. I love my job, and it is great.

Hope everyone has a wonderful evening! Gotta get, lunch time is about over.

Hugs to all

Anne

P.S. Welcome to all the newbies, you will love it here!!

Helloooooooo!!!!! To everyone!!!!
I actually have felt better as the day went on and I took down all the light fixtures and washed them. Egads. Gross!!!
We cant get Airborne in Canada yet.

Spores~ you are totally on the right track. I have been through a lot of the same process and I am still holding onto the weight to a certain extent but I have let a lot of material things go.I have let some toxic relationships go too.
I have a comfort zone around 228-230. I was below it for a bit but with all these darn bugs I am creeping up a bit. I know for a fact it is about protection and feeling safe. Just gotta believe in myself and DH's love and the love of my kids. And mine for them. All WILL be right in the world.Easier said than done.
We can do this though!!! Chuck out another 10 pairs of shoes and see how great you fele!! LOL!

Hi everyone. I'm full. Had a bad lunch at Taco Bell including an apple empanada. It was darn good.

I went to Illinois State with my husband so no gym...I know he'll want me to go tonight too...I dunno! That's my dilemma.

Spores - I wanted to say that I love the analogy you made. Awesome.

This really is short. I just want this day to go by!

Girlie

The closer I get to 199 the harder it is...
 

Hello All,

Thanks Holly & Judy. Well it looks as if my cravings have slowed down a bit. However I think it's because I gave into a few of them :mad: . However I can't let that get me down. The best part about it is how guilty I felt about it. Prior to this I wouldn't have felt a thing. I am at the point to where I am yo-yo-ing and I think that is the excuse I have been using to cheating. Gosh this is so hard. Two weeks ago I was on the ball, I mean I really had it together. I was focused and I exersized daily.

The upside is I in the last month I have trained myself to eat better, now I need to work on the subject of exersize.

Hi all;
I just got in. I went to curves after work. I may have trouble making 3x this week the will be closed sat. I going to try tomorrow am but thats my 10hr day and we are working 1 person short. I get plenty of exercise at work. I have stayed op all day, oats with flax meal and splenda just a touch lowfat milk
for b-fast. A diet frozen dinner of roast turkey and rubber greenbeans and carrots.

Holly: Hope your doing well I haven't seen you post today.

Tae2tas: Sounds like you've got it figured out its, 1 challenge, 1 day at a time. always forgive yourself.

Judydc: They play alot of 60's music
at our curves. I can really get into that.

Spores: WOW, I never thought anything about a pakrat, fat connection. but you sure explained alot. I have a house full of stuff. I'm not a shoe person I'm hate shoes. I'm more the barefoot blue jean type.

BIG HUGS TO ALL

Debbie! thanks for caring. I am fine. Busy with kids today. Just researching stuff for school council right now. The cold is a bit better.

HUGS CHICKS!!!!

Good morning, I have just got dh off to work. I love mornings, after he leaves I have a couple of minutes before I get in the shower. It's so quite, except the soft snorring of my
ds's.
Holly: Glad to hear your better. You are so busy. I'm not sure how a cold germ can catch up with you. I hope you have a great day.

I probably won't post again until
fri pm.
Everyone have a blessed day

I have had lots on the brain. A newish"friend" has caused some grief with the school.All is okay. I needed to process it.
I have a feeling I will be writing today. I talked to the School Council Chair last night. It mostly helped just to say my feelings out loud. I realized that I am mostly hurt by someone I “thought” was going to be a good friend. I can deal with that. She made a point of how these parents are using bullying tactics themselves to get what they want.

I realized that by doing what I believe in is setting a good example for my kids, handling myself with grace, intelligence and maturity.
So, I started to research ideas for a Parent Handbook and there were hundreds of examples of exactly what I felt our school needed. I have the absolute 100% support of the principal and staff. Today I will start to write it.

The fever is gone but now I have a sore throat. Big kids are in school. Last day and then 4 off. I will have the toddlers here. yesterday I had a family return from a mat leave. The older boy is 4 , like DD, I had him since they were both 1. His baby bro is 1. It was a breath of fresh air to have the little man back here. I ADORE him. He is funny and sweet.His Mom called last night to tell me how wonderful and happy her boys were. Happy sigh. Nice balance to the negativity.
I wasn’t hungry at supper so I didn’t eat. I snacked last night. I was down a 1/4 lb at TOPS.
Have a cheerful day!!

Hello,
I've let other things take control of my time for the past few days and I know I'm going to be up when I weighin tonight. My first thought was, I'll just eat whatever I want today and then tomorrow I'll start over. Then I thought...why? Is that going to get me where I want to be? The answer is NO. So, I'm starting today...and starting with my food log is a good way to start.

3/24/05-
B=rice crispes w/milk, water, 5 cookies (ok..that was still with my former thinking..it's done and over with...so onward!)
L=going to have a garden salad and a baked potato (leftovers from last night's dinner)
D=I don't know yet.
Exercise=walking for 1 hour tonight at the Y with my walking buddie...also will do my ab work

Holly: Glad to hear you are feeling better and that you were down 1/4!

Spores: Where you looking inside my head? I KNOW I've been dealing with the same thing you wrote about. What an eyeopener to me...I think I'll spend some time writing about the person I think I'll be when I'm at goal....very interesting....hey..wish I could've been there when you were throwing out those shoes...I'm a size 10 (well..my feet are! lol)...I love shoes and purses.

Debbie: You are doing so great with going to Curves!

Judi: I do love fruit, but I can't eat it due to my IC (bladder condition). I can't have anything that is acidic. They say that most people with IC can eat watermelon and pears...but I'm too afraid to try...I don't want a flare to start. I've just got to learn to limit myself with those sweets.

Girlie, Tae and others that I might have missed: Keep posting...you keep me inspired.

Got to get to work ladies.

Susie

Judydc: Yeah, all the inner and outer stuff is completely intertwined; it’s just not always clear how. Guess the western midnset isn’t too big on developing the mind-body connection. Your plan for the day sounds great – good for you. I’m sure that gain does actually have something to do with muscle, and that’s a great thing. Keep going!

Anne: Sounds like you have a fun time planned. Have fun, you deserve it!

Holly: Glad you are feeling better. Yep, getting below tht comfort zone is hard. Knowing yourself and finding those things is such an amazing process. Sounds like you are really handling the school council stuff well. Good for you; what a great example for your kids.

Girlie: Hm, no gym. How about a walk around campus? That should burn a few off! I hear ya on the Taco Bell; nothing to do but move on.

Tae2tas: I know how hard it is to have some success and feel like you have totally blown it. Such a hard thing. But the main thing is to just move on and pick back up with your good habits. So you messed up. Okay. Ask yourself why you think it happened so that you can find ways not to do the same thing again. And then just move on. You can get back on track!

Debbie: Wow, long day for you. Maybe you can have a back-up exercise for when Curves is closed. Sometimes their hours are just impossible. Sounds like you have a great menu going. I have heard flaxseed is good. What does it taste like? Yeah, I have really been thinking about the emotional meaning of all the stuff I literally carry around with me. I guess we all have things we hold onto for security.

MychoiceSusi: Wow, good for you for not giving up and eating poorly in the face of a gain! I also fall into that mindset of “well, I’ve messed up, so might as well throw in the towel for the day.” Good for you for resisting that kind of thinking. It’s so easy to get all hung up on the weigh-in, like that is the only time that eating matters. Every bite counts! Wow, no fruit; that must be hard. I don’t know much about IC, but I wonder if there are other healthy sweets you can eat. Have you tried stevia? It’s a very sweet herb with no calories that can be used to sweeten things. Maybe you could satisfy that sweet tooth with stevia-sweetened teas or baked goods. My mom uses stevia for all her baking (I think one tbsp stevia equals one cup of sugar) and loves it. Maybe you could bake some healthier cookies? My mom bakes oatmeal cookies with stevia and whole wheat flour and nuts and olive oil in place of butter...they are so delicious. I so admire how you deal with this condition and weight loss at the same time. Yeah, it was hard to get rid of the shoes, especially since I love shoes and handbags too! I am sending them all to my mom’s friend who wears my same size, so at least I know someone will get some use out of them. Every now and then I have this major pang when I realize I got rid of a $200 pair of Donald Pliner stilettos...and then I realize that I had them for five years and never wore them once! I keep reminding myself that holding onto the past is getting in the way of the present.

Well, this week has not been a great one, diet and exercise wise. No treadmill so far, and lots of eating out. Not what I had hoped for. But today is a new day. Did oatmeal for breakfast and plan to have lan cusisine for lunch. Will COOK tonight!!!! Am feeling kind of at loose ends today. There’s so much I want to get done, and I know I can’t accomplish everything in one day. So I’ll just take it one thing at a time. Weather has turned cold and wet here, which makes me want to curl up in bed. Maybe I can try to have some fun with exercise today. Hope everyone is doing well.

Good Afternoon Everyone!!!

Sounds as if everyone has a plan of attack on this weight issue. That is great!

BIG NEWS........I have found a walking "buddy" here at work. We are going to start on Monday. (Tomorrow is a holiday for us) It is supposed to be in the 50's all next week, that is tolerable for me to walk. I love to walk, but am more inclined if someone pushes me the first few days. I have promised myself I WILL do TOPS on Monday evening. So far, nothing standing in the way of that. I am tired of being overweight. I have been doing better on eating choices, however no exercise. One hurdle at a time.

My 75 yo Aunt from Michigan is getting re-married (my dad's brother, my uncle, her husband, died of cancer about 5 years ago), to her high school sweetheart May 21, so I am giving me that as a goal to lose at least 20 pounds. I think it is doable, almost 2 mos. to get there.

Had my doggie's hair cut on this past Monday night. Afterward the groomer introduced me to a "pinch" collar for her. This keeps her from pulling and choking, so now maybe I can walk her of the evening and weekends. My dog is a Jack Russell and wired all the time. (Isabella Roxanne, we call her Belle).

Well best get back to work. Everyone have a lovely Easter! Chat again on Monday.

(((HUGS)))

Annie

A quick "hi" and hugs to everyone! I've been very busy at work, and running out the door for meetings in the evenings, including tonight! Things are going welll, I got a great pep talk at my weigh-in this morning, and I feel more determined than ever to succeed!

More tomorrow, I hope! Keep making good choices!

judy

Annie: Congrats on finding a walking buddy! That sounds like a great idea. Good luck!

Judy: Glad to hear you're doing well. Keep it up!

Okay, I spent several hours yesterday and today going through my piles of paper and resources and have come up with a doable (I hope) eating plan. Starting now.

First big goal: lose 15 lbs by May 20th. That gives me eight weeks. I think I can pull it off.

Lifestyle goals for this week: Exercise 3 times for 20 minutes each (more if I can manage it), eat on plan (I have made a plan for each day that should amount to about 1500 calories), record what I eat, drink lots of water, and journal every day.

I also bought the fitday.com PC software and have been playing with it, but it's a little complicated, so I will start using it in earnest later.

My big concern is that every time I try this whole "time to start a plan" thing, it lasts a few days and then I tumble off. When it's a ready-made plan like weight watchers, it's just not flexible enough for me. But when it's a plan I make myself, I immediately start to doubt it, like it's not right and it seems so arbitrary, and of course then it's curtains. So. I need to find a way to make this work this time. Any ideas on that?

Hope everybody is having a good start to your weekend!