hello everyone!
i am finally getting close to caught up at work, the stresses there have been terrible since before the holidays. hopefully it will slow down just a bit so i can get officially caught up. i just want a little time to catch my breath! i have been doing my best not to bring work home. hoping it is better soon. i have actually been thinking about doing a total 360 as far as career goes, i have been looking into real estate. just in the thinking stages still. i would have to continue working days while i took the classes at night. it is a lot to think about.

spores- i totally agree with you about the weekend stuff, i try to stay focused. there are weekends when i do a great job and then others like this past one where it all goes out the window. i know i can't "diet" for ever. like you i want to get to a point where i can make the best choices for myself all the time. still working on it, someday!! good for you parking farther away!! all the extra steps add up! also really great you were able to slow down for a few minutes and take care of yourself today (healthy lunch, checking in with your pals) keep going!! it is so very important for all of us to take that little bit of time for US. hope you had a good day!!

holly- oh you poor thing, i have a bad right ankle myself so i know what it's like. ice and rest!!

debbie- don't stress about the snickers, what a good ds you have to go grab you one. we all need a treat once in a while. take care!

mychoice- really after a hysterectomy you still have PMS? well that isn't fair at all!! good for you with the sweets!!

hello girlie and anyone i missed hope you have a good night!!

Hello All,
I just got back from my workout at the Y. I hit it hard tonight. My workout buddy was there but she had a really bad headache so she was taking it easy. There were some other people who were going a little slower on the track so she hung with them and I went with the group who was really moving...man, was I breathing hard...but it felt good. Had a great workout in the weight room as well. I used all 15-25 lbs free weights. I just felt strong tonight.

I sure am hoping for a loss tomorrow night!

Jodi: What's got you thinking about a career change? I say "Good for you", Lifes about changing. It's tough to work full-time and go to school (and I don't have kids to take care of), but it can be done. And yes, I still have PMS. I still have my ovaries so I still experience it. I'm just glad they still work, so I don't have to do hormone therapy!

Debbie: I've been where you just came from..the Land of no Control. Sometimes it goes that way. Do you feel like you have that out of your system and you can move on? You can you know...I KNOW you can. Have you thought back on it and tried to think why you felt that way? I'm in TOPS and when I first heard them saying the pledge I thought it was so silly, but I was determined to learn it. As I learned it, I thought that the words were so true. The part that rang true for me says ...Every time I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my injured ego or dull my senses...that really sums it up for me as to why I let the control go sometimes. Those 3 things. You know I'm thinking..you just went through a stressfull time with your eyesight. I bet that was a trigger? Any way..it's over and you have and will overcome it then next time.

Spores: You asked what IC was. I'm sorry for not spelling it out. It's Interstitial Cystitis and it's a bladder disease. For some reason the lining in the bladder, thins or cracks, this can be seen during a procedure called cystocopy with hydrodistention..they will see pinpoints of bleeding. When the lining is thin or cracked you will feel the irrantant of the acidic urine and it hurts! It feels like a really bad UTI. They say there is no cure of it. They recommed changing your diet to eliminate the foods with acid and I also take a medicine called Elmiron that has been a godsend...and I pray a lot about it. This all showed up for me after my hysterectomy. They said I had it before but I never ever felt like I had a UTI. I'm so lucky that I've got the symptoms under control for the most part. So, there you have it....

I'm proud of you for parking a little further away. It's a great start!

Holly: I have had problems with my ankle also. Maybe you should wear a brace for awhile and do exercises to strength it? It's no fun to be hurting!

Well, ladies, I'll talk to you on Friday. As you know...Thursday's are crazy days for me and I don't get a chance to check in. But I'll be thinking about you all....especially when I step on the scales!

Stay on plan....visualize what you will look like 15 lbs from now..keep moving forward.

Susie

Good morning all, Today is my long day so this will be short. I just want to thank all of you for your great words of support. Ya'll are the BEST!!!
EVERYONE HAVE A BLESSED DAY AND KNOW THAT WE CAN ALL SUCCEED!

BIG HUGS!!

ZOWIE 100 PAGES!!!!!! WOOHOO!

I have a runny nose today. Pooping (OMG *popping* LOLOLOLOL) herbals and vitamins. Ankle feels much better. 2 little guys today til noon. DH is doing stuff with his car and coming home at noon. We will be alone for 2 hours....hmmmm.
I was down the weight I gained last week plus 1, so I am happy. I had my cheese party. It tastes so wonderful when I only have it once a week.
Pretty good day and week so far!

Jodi~ glad things are evening out at work!! Wow, exciting....career changes. HUGS!

Susie~you workout queen!!! Good for you! Wishing you a loss tonight.

Debbie~ have a good day!!

Spores~ it is wonderful that you took a 3fc break for yourself!! And those phonecalls do wait!! HUGS!

Have a happy day!

Good morning everyone. I missed a day yesterday so I'll have to catch up on your posts. I took the day off. My interview was great. I might actually have the job...it will be my first management position. If I do work there, I won't be at my desk all day like I am now...I'll be running around and stuff, so I'm afraid I won't be able to post as often...but I'll be thinking about y'all!

Kickboxing is kicking my butt. We do lots of kicks, side kicks, back kicks, front kicks, punches, jabs, uppercuts, hooks, mixed with jumping jacks, jumping from side to side, football runs (where you have to touch the floor), etc. Very fast paced class and all the girls in it are so thin. I definitely work up a sweat in it. I do the elliptical beforehand for 15-20 mins to warm up. It gets intense and sometimes just to catch my breath I will do a jumping jack and just use my arms for that move and let my legs rest for a second. It's tough. My goal is to be able to do the whole class without having to modify anything. I kinda feel like the "fat girl" of the class...because I am the largest girl there, but I'm not gonna give up :) the other girls are sweaty and out of breath too by the end and I know if it was easy for them, they wouldn't be in the class in the first place!

OK...back to work for now.

Girlie

Jodi: I know what you mean about taking work home with you. I feel like I’m working 24/7, which means that making healthy choices is always on the back burner, behind all the stuff I have to DO. I wish more of working life was in balance with healthy body life. Career changes are hard, but I know some people who really enjoy real estate. At least you get to move around a bit!

MyChoice: Thanks for explaining IC. Sounds like no fun at all! I imagine that must make it all the more difficult to figure out what to eat, when you have to think about acidity in addition to fat, calories, fiber, protein, carbohydrates, vitamins...makes my head spin! I imagine that drinking enough water must be a big key! Thanks for mentioning the TOPS pledge, especually using food to “dull my senses.” That is a big problem for me. Isn’t that ironic – eating is app about the sense of taste (and smell, I guess), and yet we can use it to dull our senses! Maybe it’s the desire to have so much of one kind of sensory input that our brains don’t have room to think about other things? For me, emotional eating goes hand-in-hand with television. Both seem to dull the senses.

Holly: Mmm, cheese party. Congrats on the pounds lost! Hope you can stave off the cold – vitamins and rest! I am really glad I took time to post yesterday: keeping 3fc in the back of my mind helped my choose zucchini bread over cookies at my meeting. Still sugar, but not quite so much. And zucchini bread counts as a vegetable, right?

Girlie: Congrats on the interview! That is a great feeling. Sounds like your kickboxing class is neat. Good for you for taking on the challenge. I tend to get all shy and self-conscious in classes like that. I think it’s great that you’re doing it. And don’t worry about the skinny girls: you can always rest assured knowing that you could roundhouse kick their little butts! I think learning kickboxing must be so empowering: the idea that you can use your body for your own defense.

My challenge today is to do my planned exercise. So many excuses: I’m tired, I don’t want to have to put on workout clothes just to then get dressed again for my meetings later, I have a headache, I have been out of my mind busy all week so I deserve a “break,” my treadmill arrives tomorrow so I should wait until then, I have other stuff to do, I have a doctor’s appointment and what if exercise somehow skews my test results (I know, these are getting ridiculous), I’m bored with my workout tapes, my favorite workout pants aren’t clean, I’m really really tired. Just so darn many excuses. And they’re always there; it’s not like I will someday magically be rested, have nothing to do, have a ton of fascinating new workout toys. So I’m just going to have to do it. Because it makes me feel good afterward. Because I want to walk up two flights of stairs without being out of breath and embarrassed about that fact. Because I want to feel pleasure in the movements of my own body again. Because the sexy guy in the video takes off his shirt halfway through. Yeah, that’s a good reason.

Good morning,
I had a great night at the scales last night. Down 2.75 lbs. I was really happy about that. Now, it's time to get on the ball and get this remaining weight off. I've been up and down with 4 lbs since October and I'm tired of them...carrying them around...picking them up...putting them down...I want new pounds to play with! So, that's my focus this week. I will loose, so that I"m in a new set of numbers and I have new pounds to POUND!

Spores: Do the video! Seeing the guy take his shirt off half-way through the tape...YEP..sounds like a good reason to me! lol I go to the Y every Sunday to walk and then do my weights. I've had people tell me that don't know how I do it every week. Well...the walking track is above the gym floor and they play a lot of basketball on Sunday's...lots of eye candy to look at! hehehehe!

Girlie: I hope you get the position. Tell us what you will be doing. Don't feel bad about being the "big girl" in class...because if you keep going..you won't be that girl for long!

Holly: How are you feeling? Glad you had your cheese party. But no more partying for you until next week! I have a milkshake party every Thursday when I loose and it tastes so good!

Jodi:How are you doing today?

Debbie: What's going on with you.

If you haven't posted in awhile...come on back and jump in.

I've got to get out the door; time for work.

Susie

I love my DH, I love my DH, I love my DH, I love my DH. I will surround him with thoughts of love!!!
30 minutes and he is outa here. He is one miserable troll this morning. Banging, barking, mean, miserable troll. Dont look at him it might be catching. My tummy is growling but I am in no danger of starving and he is in the kitchen right now.
He is probably unhappy about going to work in this frigid weather. Doesn't make it easier for the rest of us. 25 minutes and counting!

Everyone else seems quite happy, LOL.
I had wee meltdown yesterday over this party tomorrow. DS was asking tough questions about the fam and I dont really know how to answer and be loving to all yet honest. This is new to us. Both kids have done this recently. Need a strategy.

I went and did Grandma's hair and other hair appts last night. It was enjoyable. Got home late had a minor munch fest and went to bed at midnight. I had supper at 5 , I was very hungry at 11.
I was picking up yarn for a SS craft at the dollar store and saw the most delightful, cheerful coffee mug is bright orange, blue, pink and red with funky hearts on it. It was a fun buck to spend. My coffee was particularily tasty this morning!! Weehee!
We are scheduled to the max for the next 3 days.
S and her boys are coming for dinner tonight to celebrate DH's bday. I am making, ham, scallops, salad, carrots, AND chocolate cake , of course. All DH's fav's.
Tomorrow morning at 9 is a hockey game,home for lunch, off to Grandma's to spruce up her hair as requested by the obsessed Mom and Aunt, off to the church for the Tea, then to dinner, home again, pick up the sitter, and DH and I are off to Bayfield to hang out with his friends. Sunday morning is hockey practise,then sunday school, my day to teach, potluck at the church, run the kids home , go back for the annual meeting, come home, make something spectacular for dinner, bath the kids, organize school stuff, read stories and flop in front of the TV to watch Alias.
This mornings agenda includes baking a cake and cleaning the bathrooms( darn toddler boys).Oh, and brilliantly caring for 5 kids!
11 minutes to go!! Man am I hungry, I may sneak in a scoff banana.

Have a glorious day !!

Good morning all.
I feel bad because I haven't had much time to browse and respond lately. Yesterday was hectic for once!

For the first time this whole year, I skipped out on exercise today. I mean, I have planned days off, but today is the first day that I've said - "I'm not going to go". I mean, I did have a good reason...and maybe I'll end up going later, but I'm just so tired right now. It's been a long week having to work at the 2nd job so often. I put in a request to cut my hours there at the grocery store to 12 hours per week max. I'd rather not work at all than bag and push carts out of the parking lot. Hopefully I get this new job and I can just quit. I'll end up working the same amount of hours a week, just not so sporadically, and I'll at least have two definite days off a week.

Arr

Mychoice: Congrats on the loss! Such a great feeling. Yes, a bit of eye candy helps with the workout. A little carrot. :)

Holly: Wow, you are busy! Must be hard to keep to your plan with so much going on. You're such a rock!

Girlie: Glad to see you, and hang in there! Sometimes listening to our bodies is the most important thing, and if your body wants rest, let it have it. It will be that much easier to do your workout the next time knowing that you gave your body what it needed.

I am excited because my treadmill arrives today! This will be a fun new toy. BF promised to help me assemble it tonight so I can hop right on. Also, I saw my doctor yesterday about some headache issues, and she gave me muscle relaxants to try (she thinks they might be tension headaches leading to muscle spasms). Well, I took one last night, and I had what may be the best sleep of my entire life. When I woke up this morning, I actually felt rested! I was able to get out of bed without a huge horrible struggle, and now I actually don't feel like falling asleep any minute! In fact, I'm not even too keen on laying on the couch. This is pretty amazing to me. I have...ENERGY. Some energy, anyway. Which makes me so much more confident about being able to stick with some exercise. My big concern, of course (can't have good news without mucking it up with worry), is that I must depend on a pill to get enough sleep to have energy. Don't want to be tied to medication. But at least this is a step. If I could get rid of the chronic headaches and constant exhaustion, well, it wouldn't make everything magically easy, but it would remove a couple of huge barriers. So I'm optomistic today.

Wish that treadmill would get here right now! I'm ready to walk across the whole world! From the comfort of my living room, of course.

hello everyone!
TGIF!!! and i really mean it!! another busy week behind me!! i am in for the night just my youngest DS and i here in the quiet warm house. i am feeling positive, much better than earlier this week. i am down 2 lbs, and i exercised 2x this week. very proud of myself, i kept from totally falling apart after a bad weekend last week. this weekend i am focusing on taking care of myself.

spores- can't wait to hear more about the treadmill, you sound so excited!! i hope it is all that and more!! enjoy!!

girlie- you have a tough schedule these days, take some time and pamper yourself this weekend!!

holly- i hope your troll turns back into a prince soon. enjoy your busy weekend! at least the time will fly.

mychoice- congrats on the loss!!! that is fantastic!! you ROCK! keep up the great work!! i know what you mean about the same pounds back and forth, i have been playing with 5 nasty ones for some time now. i just hit below that point this week. we can do this girl! lets keep going!
as far as the career change goes, i really want a more flexible job, not sure how good i'd be at selling houses but it does intrest me a lot. still thinking. the class i am considering starts in march so i have some time to decide. i am going to talk to a real estate broker and see if i can get some questions i have answered first. we'll see how it goes.

well i hope you all have a fab weekend! take care!!

Jodi: Hooray for the pounds lost! I just looked at your tracker and saw that you have knoced out 48 lbs so far -- I am in awe! Good luck with changing careers. I know that can be a big scary thing (I seem to change careers every 2-3 years!), but it is also exciting and fun.

Well, my treadmill arrived! Two (very buff and cute) guys delivered and assembled it this afternoon. It is HUGE. I guess I'm not that great at visualizing spatial relationships, because I thought it would tuck neatly into a corner of my living room. Not so. This thing is taking up half the room! And it's got all kinds of fancy switches and things...the user's manual should be hefty reading. I didn't work out on it per se; just turned it on and played around a bit. I have never been much of a sporty sort, and I'm surprised at how excited I am about this new toy. My goals right now are small: just hop on the thing at no incline and whatever speed is comfortable every other day. Then I'll go from there. It has all kinds of programmable things that will take me a while to figure out. It's just that exercise, which is always a huge challenge for me, just seems so utterly possible now. Convenience makes a big difference. Hm, so much optimism for me today. It's an odd feeling. Me, an optimist. Next thing you know I'll be *gasp* not worrying about every little thing every second of the day. Horrors!

Okay, enough blathering about my treadmill. This can't be very interesting to everyone else. I'm going to shut up and actually use the thing now.

Quiet around here these days. Sounds like everyone's pretty busy. I'm going to go to bed and try desprately not to think about the fact that the local ice cream shop just started offering delivery.

LOl spores~ delivering icecream, really? Yikes!! I think it is wonderful you are so excited about the treadmill. DH's Mom has one in the corner of the basement. They are in Arizona til May. I was thinking of, um, borrowing it.

Jody~ happy to see you!!! Hope your weekend is restful!! Yippee for the positive attitude and lbs lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girlie~ a break is okay. Listen to what your body and your soul needs. Hope you get to relax a bit this weekend!!

Susie rocks, Susuie rocks Susie rocks!!!!!!!!!!!

I went off the cheese plan only once this week!!!!! I did the planned exercise 3Xs. Not bad. Trying to perfect it this week!

Refreshed on Saturday!
Gotta like it!!
Good sleep. I was yawning so much at 9:30 I went to bed and feel asleep immediately. I didn’t even crack a book. Crazy. Slept til 7:30. Lounged in bed til 8. Woohoo.
The boys are gone for hockey.
DH was still grumpy when he got home from work. Boss is not paying him for all the hours he is putting in. Our friends showed up a few minutes later and we bugged him into a good mood. It was kind of him to oblige since it was his Bday dinner and all. Dinner was YUMMY. Out of shear exhaustion from washing pots and pans, LOL, I have started putting a layer of sliced carrots and frozen corn in my scalloped potatoes. It is good and people think I am very clever. *giggle* Lazy and resouceful more like it. I made a salad with baby spinach, mushrooms, yellow pepper and grape tomatoes.The 5 kids ages, 2 1/2,4,5,6& 7 had a blast. They sat in the kitchen. Us adults had a candle lit dinner in the diningroom. Happy Bday was sung , cake was eaten, and life is good!!!!!!!
Grandma and I had a long talk on Thurs. The fam is freaking about her dress, hair etc… She is always elegant and classy.Neither of us think the 100 people at the tea will be there to see if her hair is out of place. I am beyond certain they will come for love, admiration and to honour her.
The gift is how blessed we have all been to have this remarkable woman in our lives. I feel particularily blessed that my kids love and know her and are old enough to remember her when she does pass on.
Time for DD to have a bath, then shower for me. The boys will do the same after hockey. Lunch here and then the festivities begin. We have a sitter coming later tonight and are going to Bayfield to see some of DH’s friends. Nice.

Today I will be thankful for the people in my life I love and cherish.

Holly: Sounds like you had a magnificint dinner. Veggies in the potatoes: clever indeed! Always good to sneak in extra vitamins and make washing up easier. I have a theory that corn and garlic make every dish good. So everything I cook winds up full of it! Good thing my bf cooks most of the time.

Super-busy weekend, but am trying not to pig out. Had to go from 9:00 to 4:00 with no food today, and I was out of my life-saving clif bars. So I stopped at the 7-11 and, good for me, bought a protein bar and banana instead of chips and candy. It was rather nasty, though; good reminder to keep my pantry stocked with the tasty kind. At least it had fiber and my tummy wasn't growling too much!

Time to give myself a little break before diving back into work. I am going to make exercise my reward for doing my work! There's a new concept.

hello everyone!
everyone must be very busy this weekend! i did my usual saturday garbage, shopping, planning etc. nothing exciting. staying in tonight, it is supposed to snow. Dh is taking the kids sledding tomorrow so i will have some just me time. TOM finally came so my fight with food is over for another 3 weeks or so. i treated myself to a new book today. not a bad day overall.

spores- you crack me up!! treating yourself to exercise is fantastic. you must love the new treadmill! that is great. good for you making good choices today!! all the little choices really add up!! thanks for the encouragement, i have been at this for over a year now and am really proud of every lb. gone so far! still mulling the career change idea over it is a scary thought. i have become such a creature of habit. enjoy your treadmill time!!

holly- your dinner sounds great, i'll have to try your veggie idea! good for you getting out tonight with friends, let your hair down girl!! you have has so much stress lately!

hello to everyone else! take care!!

Weeheeeee!
Fun Day!

The party for my Grandma’s 95th Birthday was very elegant. The church ladies had the tables set with green checkered cloths, crystal vases and pink carnations. They had the silver tea services out. The cake was delish. Multilayered white cake,white icing and layers of kiwi,peaches and strawberries. MMMM. It was very nice to see lots of relatives from far and wide.Cousins came for the weekend from BC, Montreal, Georgian Bay........ old friends, neighbours....
I had a great a visit with some dear old friends.
The freaks didn’t even speak to me, LOL.
I brought crafts for the kids so they were occupied.
Dinner was a buffet feast with amazing chicken,meatballs, pasta, salad.........
Home again, home again.... Our sitter came over and we headed out.
Talk about contrast. As we pulled in the driveway at B&L’s a guy walked past with a giant turkey held by the ankles. I nearly peed my pants. So all the country boys were out in their coveralls, beer in hand about to deepfry and 20lb turkey.Snowmobiles and pickup trucks parked in the yard. There were about 20 of us out in the drive shed, wood stove going, darts and foosball being played and MUCH laughter. I laughed soooo hard for the whole time my stomach hurt. At midnight we ate moose steak, deer sausage and deep fryed turkey, beans and mashed potatoes. I was sorry to come home. It was a wonderful night with friends. DH was carefree and hilarious, just like the guy I fell in love with, LOL.
I asked another Dad to pick up DS for hockey practise this morning at 7 so DH could sleep in.I am on coffee #2.Trying to perk up. I need to prep my SS craft and make something for the potluck.

My goal for this week is to not spend as much time in my head! I am going to try to not overthink things. Diet goals will be the same as the last 2 weeks until I get it right. Improving all the time!

Feeling loved and blessed, wishing you the same!

Jodi~ I think I stressed myself out! I guess DS is stressful too. Glad you are relaxing this weekend( well, as much as a Mom ever does). What book are you reading? I just started the Salmon of Reason by Douglas Adams. It was compiled after his death. He is a Fav of mine.

Spores~ I am with you on the garlic! I have meant to plant some every fall and I never get to it. I get it at roadside booths in late summer.

Hello Everyone,
I didn't make it to the board yesterday and I missed all of you. I hate it when my days are crazy and I don't make time for myself. Really puts me in a bad mood and I take it out on my husband.

I did get my hair cut and colored yesterday. It felt great to go to the salon. I go about every 5-6 weeks. I guess because they don't see me but every 5-6 weeks, they really notice that I have lost weight. They all commented on it. I'm glad its noticable and hearing things like that really make me want to continue to work hard on getting this weight off.

Spores: I love the treadmill at the Y. I usually walk on the track with my workout partner, but on Sunday's (if they aren't playing basketball) I hit the treadmill and go at it for 45 min and I usually walk at a speed of 3.5. I didn't start at the rate, no that length of time, so don't try that! Does yours have different preset workouts, like cardio, weightloss? The one I use does and that's what I started with, the weightloss one. I still don't do inclines.

Holly: You are such a party girl! I'm glad you had a great time.

Jodi: You did great this past week. I'm going to get past those familiar pounds this week. I will, I will!

Girlie: It's ok to skip a workout when you are truly tired and I would say you were! I hope you get your new position so you can just work one job.

Breakfast is about ready and then it's time to get ready for church, then the tutor, then the Y and then I'm relaxing!

See you all tomorrow.

Susie

good morning!
i had a good sleep, feeling rested and ready to tackle the day! i was excited to log in here this morning and see i won the diet book give away! i picked dr. phil's book, maybe he can help with my binges. no much else going on really.

holly- your day yesterday sounds like it was fantastic! the 2 party's you went to sound so dramatically different! good for you! so glad you had a good time. i have several books going as usual. nothing too heady! glad you are enjoying yours. hope you have a good day!

my goals this week are to
1) WATP just 1 mile 6 days. i am going back to basics!!
2) pack my lunch for work everyday
3) no night time snacking before bed
4) do one positive thing to pamper myself every day.

hope you all have a great sunday!!

Morning Jodi~ Your egg is lit! What book give away??? Nice you won!!!!! Your goals are great. I might aim for the 1 mile too. Enjoy your day!!!!!

they started giving a book away on here a few weeks ago. there is a link at the very top of the page it says "diet book giveaway" if you post 5 times in a week they automatically put your name in a drawing. good luck with your goals this week!!

Room for one more???
 

I have a good 100 pounds to lose. I can't imagine ever losing that much weight. Everytime I start something, I tell myself to just get to 199. I've never made it there yet. I have 35 pounds to go. The lowest I've made it to was 215. I want to try again.
Lets see, I'm 42, divorced with 2 kids. I do shift work so I'm always working odd hours. I HATE cooking and eat out wayyyy too much. There are very few foods I actually like and the ones I do are all bad for me!!! If I don't like something, I WILL NOT eat it. The foods I like that I can work into a "diet" I get sick of after a week or two. I am a diehard pepsi addict which is probably my biggest impediment to weight loss.
I also suffer from PCOS, Insulin Resistance, Hypothyroid, High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol & High Triglycerides. I'm on medication for all these........
I'm not sure what I'm going to do to make it work this time. I know I should have a plan but that never seems to work. Right now I'm just trying to make some changes and hope it helps.
I'm having a slim fast optima every morning for breakfast (instead of a Jack in the Box sourdough breakfast sandwich & a large coke that I get on my way into work every morning).
I'm eating an orange every day (one of the few fruits I like)
I'm trying to drink 4 - 16oz bottles of water a day. I figure if I can keep myself from getting thirsty, I won't drink as much soda. So far the most I've made it to is 2 bottles. It has helped tremendously with my soda intake though.
I'm also starting to take phentermine and xenical. I probably shouldn't admit to that because I know alot of people are very against it. I've taken them in the past and I quickly build up a resistance to it so I know I won't be on it long. I just want it to help me jump start into things. By the way, they are Dr prescribed and I am being monitored.
The rest is just me trying to make some healthier choices. I brought a Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich today instead of getting a fast foor burger or taco or something. I know it's still a bit fattening but a bit better than the alternative.
Any suggestions anyone has for me, I would love to hear them!!!

Jodi: Ah, taking a bit of time for yourself is a great feeling. Yes, big changes are awfully hard. We all have to struggle with changing habits, whether with eating or exercise or work! I myself am a very cyclical person, and find that I do best when my habits are shaken up every 4-6 months. Our world is very disconnected from the cyclical nature of life – seasons, monthly hormone cycles, lunar cycles. I think that the idea of working year-round in the same enviromnent with the same duties, with the occasional days off, is counter to our instinctual needs. We need the thrum of cyclical change. Congrats on the book! Yay! A little reward from the universe.

Holly: So glad your events went so well. Sounds like it was a fun and meaningful time. Good luck with your goals this week. I also tend to overthink everything, but then I wonder, is there really such thing as overthinking? I figure I just have to make up for the millions of people in the world who seem to underthink everything! I guess I’d rather think deeply about things than just go plunging ahead without making conscious and mindful choices. But there is the danger of letting thinking replace action, and getting all Hamlet-ey when we should be imitating Polonious.

Mychoice: Wow, isn’t it nice when people notice the results of all our hard work? I only get to see my mom every 3-6 months, and she ALWAYS says I look like I’ve lost weight – even when I clearly haven’t. It’s hard for us to see it ourselves, since we are so used to our daily bodies. My treadmill has pre-set programs and customisable ones, but I haven’t figured out how to work them yet. That will be my job for next week, I think. I am going to start with no incline, as I’m sort of scared of inclines. The only other time I have ever used a treadmill was about 10 years ago. I went to a personal trainer who had a little gym, and he looked me over and talked to me a bit, then put me on a treadmill for 45 minutes. About 5 minutes into it he came over and raised the incline, and I kept trying to walk, but I was getting really out of breath and overexerted, but I was young and very intimidated by this guy and the other people around, so I didn’t want to stop or say anything, so I kept going and going....and, end result, found out that I have mild exercise-induced asthma! I had my first asthma attack ever right there, and was terrified by it, and also embarrassed. So I now have some rather intense fear of having another one, and I’m going to take the inlcine thing VERY slowly.

jujubee: Welcome! Glad to have you aboard! I also am a fast food junkie, so I know what you’re going through. I have had entire weeks where I ate out 1-2 times every single day...definately not good! My current plan is to actually give myself permission to eat out and plan for it. I figure if I have planned to eat out on, say, Thursday night, then on Wednesday I will feel more like cooking at home since I know I will get the treat soon enough. It is also hard to find healthy foods that you really like, but I think that time and patience and an open mind can go a long way. My bf and I try one new food a week. Last week it was pommegranates...wow, where has this fruit been all my life?! It’s fun to try new things; it’s like being a kid again. I was at costco the other day (where they have tons of free samples), and a little boy went up to the woman giving out smoked salmon samples. He was looking rather hesitantly at the smoked salmon on his cracker, and said to the woman, “Well, my mother says I shouldn’t say I don’t like something until I try it.” I just about died of cute. It reminded me how stuck in my little rut I get. I forget about all the myriad flavors that never enter my mouth. Good luck kicking the soda habit; that is hard. I am a diet cola junkie, and I’d love to cut down, since even though it’s diet, it is full of chemicals that I know are awful for me. I am trying other things, like herbal infusions, crystal light (still chemicals, but a change, at least), teas. And of course, the water is a big thing! Getting all that water in really helps curb all kinds of cravings.

Okay, must do my lesson plans for next week. Ugh. Hope everyone is well!

Spores: Thanks for the words of encouragement. I am so deeply stuck in my rut I can't even see the light of day.
I haven't done well for an entire day yet but I figure the little steps help too. Yesterday, I only had one (12 oz) Pepsi. That is much better than my usual 2-3 large fountain drinks plus 1/2 - 1 2 liter bottle at home. I also had my morning slim fast instead of my regular fast food breakfast. I wish I could drink diet. I have tried to switch over so many times and I just can't stand it! I've tried tea, crystal light, all that. I really don't care for any of them and figure I might as well drink water if I don't like it anyway. So that is what I'm trying to do.
I'm going to try exercising with my daughters DDR game. There is a whole thread about how great and fun it is in the exercise forum.

Welcome Jujubeeeee!!!

TGIMONDAY and I can relax!!!!!
It was a good weekend. I functioned very well on 4 hours sleep all day yesterday.
We stayed for a pot luck lunch after Sunday School, I drove the kids home and went back for a 3 hour annual meeting. It was a good meeting.I came home whipped up supper, had all of us tidy and then the kids vacuumed!
I was disappointed that I couldn't find Alias on TV last night. I tried to find it in the listings. What the heck is going on. It is a fav part of my week. Arg!
So I puttered some more and started to watch Desperate Housewives and it was a rerun. I went to bed! Double Arg!
DH slept in til noon yesterday for the first time since DS was born. He had a lazy aft and then FINSHED the last piece of tile!!!! Another 6 months the grout should be done. He went to bed at 9. He had a wonderful Bday weekend.
Good morning so far. 3 toddlers here. Storytime at 10. The 2 year old is potty training. She does well at home, not so well here. Gets too busy.

I had big meals on the weekend but no snacking inbetween and I didn't have a drop of wine or any cheese.
I am feeling OP.
I need breaky but dont know what I want...maybe a tuna sandwich.

Glad all the festivities are over. It sure was fun though!
I will chat more after lunch!

ps The trees are all covered in ice this morning. The sun is brilliant. Incredibly beautiful.

Morning, everyone.

Jujube: Welcome! I have PCOS too and some insulin troubles but I'm not diabetic. I'm not on any meds any longer. I have heard that by losing weight, you can lose the PCOS symptoms...that is my goal. The only symptom that really bothers me is hirsutism. Hope you hang out with us!

Spores: I see all kinds of neat veggies and fruits some through the checkout lane and ask people how they cook them. I'd love to try some of them.

Holly: Sounds like you had a great busy weekend!

Jodi: Congrats on winning the book! Let us know how you like it! I really like Dr. Phil's advice, although I've never picked up one of his books.

I'm TIRED y'all. And it's Monday. I should feel refreshed. I haven't been to the gym since Thursday. I had Friday night off, but worked at the grocery store Sat/Sun as a bagger and it sucked. Clearing the parking lot of carts and bagging groceries is so wearing...I guess you can say I got SOME sort of exercise in. Yesterday I worked a 5 hour shift...I swear, everyone goes shopping on Sundays and it was non stop! It's amazing how the husbands just stand there while I'm bagging. One family had 4 24 packs of water and a few 12 packs of sodas and the guys just stand there while I'm lifting all of these things. By the end, I felt like I was just going to pop. I did manage to cook dinner last night and I skipped church to take a nap :(

I had every intention of going to the gym this morning, but last night turned into a cry fest for me...I just bawled forever about various things in my life and DH stayed with me so I could get to sleep. Today, I'm feeling worn out and my eyes are puffy and I just want to curl up and disappear for a while.

Plus, I forgot to pack my yougurt pretzels in my lunch and I really wanted some LOL.

I will get better. A good night's rest for me tonite and I will hit the gym every day for the rest of the week. I am skipping my weigh in this week and moving on to better things.

Girlie

Jujubee: Yes, DDR is super fun. I have the Extreme version, which has a tutorial and super-easy mode, and I still suck at it, but it's loads of fun. Good for you for the one soda! Those little things absolutely are successes. We can only do this one day, one choice at a time.

Holly: Four hours of sleep...you are a dynamo. Sounds like you had a lovely weekend and are poised for a great week!

Girlie: Yeah, bagging groceries and pushing carts definately counts as a workout! Fitday.com has calories burned for all kinds of activities like that. Sounds like you have a lot of pressure happening lately. I know just how you feel...that desire to curl up and hide. I think we all need that now and then. Hibernation time. We're not designed to just go go go; sometimes we need to take a big deep breath. But don't hide too long! You have so much success and positivity under your belt; don't forget about all that good stuff in the face of being overwhelmed. Whatever is happening for you, remember we all value and rely on your kindness, your sharing, your voice. We're all with you. Just take it one little choice at a time.

Today after my lit class one of my high school students came up to me with his journal of poetry and asked if I would read it and tell him what I think. I am so overwhelmed and honored that he trusts me with his poetry! It makes me feel pretty amazing, that as a teacher I might have actually touched one student deeply. It's also a huge responsibility! I'm trying to think of what I wish a teacher had said to me at that age. It's a very personal and vulnerable thing for a 17 year old to share his poems with a teacher he has known for just a few months. I feel enormous pressure to say the right things.

I am feeling rather ashamed: my bf worked out on the treadmill last night, and I haven't done a single workout on it yet! So tonight I'm going to hop on it no matter what. I am struggling with this silly embarassment I have about working out in front of someone else. I just for some reason don't want to be seen exercising. Even though I know my bf is supportive and wonderful and non-judgemental and would be delighted to see me working out...I still feel embarassed. I need to get over it. And the best way to get over it is to just do it. I mean, jeez, we've lived together for three years, so it's not like he's going to suddenly notice that *gasp* I'm fat! When I am standing there totally naked and I grab my big tummy and say, "Look, I'm so fat," he says, "I don't think you're fat. I think you're beautiful." I need to learn to trust that and be open and vulnerable. And get on the damn treadmill and not care who's looking!

Spores:
My DH says the same things about me, he always has. The funny thing is that I believe it...all too much I think. I think that's why I've "let myself go" in front of him because we are waaaay too comfortable in front of one another. Anyway, I am sure you are beautiful: I think women with curves are so beautiful. If I was with a woman, she'd definitely have some meat on her bones :) Also, I think it's so awesome of your student to share his journal with you! I have some advice though...because I too was one of those students. My senior year, I had to write a journal for a few months for a class. Instead of writing actual journal entries, they were all free verse of some sort...some poetry, some thoughts and writings. I always seemed to (and still do) write about lots of negativity...just because it gets things out, and there are so many dimensions to negative situations. I wrote a lot about man's inhumanity to man and self...and I turned my journal in and later my teacher wanted to see me after school. She asked me if I was having family problems, etc...so sweet of her. I mean, I did have some stuff going on at home and I was an outsider at school, but I wasn't in harm or anything...I just liked to write about suffering and sadness and how people handle grief, etc. It was my way of getting things out.

Anyway, I was always rather sensitive about how "adults" viewed my writing. I'm sure since he's mature enough to ask for your opinion, he'll be a confident writer and you'll have nothing but applaud for him!

Girlie: I am with you on curvy women! How's that old rap song go? "I like big butts and I cannot lie..." Hee hee. I need to learn to apply the same standards to myself that I apply to others, with weight as well as everything else. I guess I'm a perfectionist; nothing I do can ever be enough. But I certainly don't think that about others! Treating ourselves with the same kindness and compassion we afford to others is hard, maybe because it seems, to me at least, that women get these messages that we are supposed to be empathetic to others and faultless ourselves.

Thanks for sharing your experience of your young writing. It is SO important for teachers and other adults to encourage kids in the arts. I think adolecent writing gets dismissed as silly and overly dramatic, or at the other extreme, as some sort of cry for help or terrifying confession of horrible deeds. Since I primarily teach college, I try to treat these teenagers just like I treat my college students: as adults, as equals, as autonomous beings with valuable voices. It's not my place to judge their lives. I figure every teenager in the world deals with issues of depression and violence and sex and suicide and drugs and all that negative stuff -- it's part of growing up in this country. And writing is a great place to explore one's feelings about that. I hope I can engourace this kid to just keep writing!

Hello,
Had a pretty good day, although I got slammed at work with West Coast calls right before 5:00 EST. So I was on the phone until 6:00. Eventually the West coast won't be my territory, but right now it is until they hire a West Coast rep. I'm glad I won't have that area, because of the late calls.

Trying something new this week..well actually a couple of things. I have a "diet buddy" in Michigan and she asked me last night if for the next two weeks we could talk to each other for about 10 min each day and be accountable to each other. I said sure. We have it set up that I will call her at 10:00 pm (free minutes and long distance on my cell phone--aren't I cleaver? lol) and there is a list of questions that I want her to ask me to see how I'm doing and she has a list. I tell you,just knowing today that I was going to have to answer those questions, made me think twice about somethings. Like the doughnuts that were brought in the office this morning.

I'll let you all know how it goes and what the results of that are each week.

Also tonight my workout partner and I are adding 15 min to the cardio we do. We thought it was time to pump it up a little.

Holly: I wish I could enjoy the winter weather like you do. I'm so tired of the cold. I'm going to try to see the joy in the cold...you have inspired me1 How are you doing with the cheese...or the lack of?

Spores: I had a wonderful highschool english teacher. She was a huge influence on how I view things. I enjoyed her classes so much that I took 3 of them my senior year..and they were hard. A lot of writing, but I enjoyed her input so much. I'm sure it was an honor for you to be trusted with the poetry. I neve wrote poetry, but I love to write. I keep a journal and I write a lot of letters and notes. I'm also a big reader...well..when I'm not reading text books!

Did you make it to the treadmill today? Remember everyone has a starting point, so get going!

As for women with curves. I'm one of those ladies...I was even when I was younger and thinner..always had boobs, hips and butt. I go out, dancing, with a girlfriend of mine about every 3 months. We are both married, so we don't get out much. But when we do..we have a ball and I want you to know..that I get hit on a lot! (and I'm always so surprised!) I've been told by these men (and most are quit good looking), that they like a girl who has curves and is confident about her body. I think that I am. Even though I want to be thinner and wear a smaller size (I'm thinking a 12-14) I still want my curves, and I am confident in my body and I think that it's because of all the working out I do. Exercise is a huge confidence booster. So..kiss your partner and thank him for loving you the way you are and the way you are going be!

Ok..got to get ready for the gym. C-ya!
Susie

Girlie: I hope you get some rest. I think that you really should count your second job activities as part of your workouts. They certainly sound like it!

Mychoice: What a neat idea, having a quick telephone check-in. Let us know how it goes: what kinds of questions you ask and stuff. Sounds interesting! You have so many great support networks! No wonder you're knockin em dead on the dance floor -- you're a curvy, courageous, confidence-machine!

Spores and Susie inspired thought...........

I have and always have had a very healthy physical self image.
Since I was 16 I weighed between 180-200. I wore size 14-18. I always thought I was very pretty. I dressed sexy. I presented myself with confidence, sex appeal, laughter, ...I never had trouble getting a date or boyfriend , a job , friends.....At times it was the opposite, there were too many to choose from. I was popular( in an anti-society way), successful at work, school........

Post children and marriage and weighing at 227 and wearing a size 22. I AM morbidly obese.
I have aged in the last few years but I still think I have a pleasant face,great hair, I like every part of my body, I am still confident in most ways( a few social anxiety issues), I have a very healthy, sexy relationship with DH. I think I am a great friend, stellar wife, good Mom (always room for improvement). I still get lots of attention from men.

Here's the issue for me. I really do need to lose this weight and get fit for my well being. I wonder if I am delusional about my body image. I think I am cute naked. I have great breasts, my tummy(it is huge) doesn't bug me.I see a beautiful earth mother. Do I see it realistically? Is my self image whacked? Is it hindering me?

You know how people will sit and talk about who they wished the looked like. Like Catherine Zeta Jones, Julia Roberts....And then all this plastic surgery stuff on TV......
I dont get it. I LOVE looking like me. All 227 squishy pounds of me.

Holly: I think your confidence is amazing and commendable. To love how you look at whatever weight is a wonderful thing! I don't think there's anything delusional about it. It might be the healthiest attitudte of all: to know that your weight and size have everything to do with health, wellness, and your body's own internal balance, and nothing to do with inherent beauty and value. That's a point I'd like to reach someday!

PS: I did my treadmill workout today!!! Sure, it could have been longer and more strenous, and it is just one workout out of countless no-workout days, but I'm focusing on the positive today. I did the workout, and that's a success.

The other success was that I really did think of it as a treat. As I drove home from class I was thinking that I need to do my workout in addition to all the millions of other things that have to get done tonight, and I realized that I was actually looking forward to putting on a new album and just walking for a little while. And I realized that this really is just for me; not for my jobs or students or bf or family or anyone...just a bit of time and activity for myself. And I decided to do something for myself first, before doing anything for anyone else!

Wooohoo spores!!! Now who is the one with the great attitude!!!!

I am trying to lose weight and be more fit for wellness reasons but it has taken 2 years to lose 16 lbs.That is why I was wondering if my self image could use a reality check.
I had a great grade 12 teacher who read my poetry, journal etc.... she gave me a huge boost because she believed in me. Something i had never really experienced before.

Girlie~ How are you doing?? I keep thinking about how hard you work and not getting enough sleep. Did you hear back form the interview??

Suzy~ where the heck are ya!

Jodi~ how are things today?

Susie? Debbie? Jujubeee? Susan???

Hello everyone! Quick update.

Spores - you rock! :)

Holly - I'm doing okay. I had last night off and got some reading done and relaxed a bit.

Jodi - how's it going?

Susie - Hope you are well today!

A woman from work is selling her $250 exercise bike to me for $30!!! I'm so excited. I'm sure it will wear out and collect dust...but now I can work out at home...even if it's just leisurely cycling while watching a movie.

I've been running about...I'm interviewing people for an article I'm writing for our newsletter. Haven't heard from the job yet. We'll see. Gotta work at the grocery store, just for 3 hours tonight. I did hit the gym this morning. I skipped cardio-kick and did my hour on the elliptical. It sucked cuz my batteries died on me halfway through and that hour it's what I need to keep me going.

Talk to you soon!

Girlie

hello everyone!!
i am doing well, sorry i didn't get in here yesterday, work calls!! i managed to drag my butt out of bed 2 days in a row to do the WATP 1 mile. i have also managed to eat 3 healthy meals with no snacks for the past 3 days. i am feeling good about it!!

holly- i think you have a great attitude about your body! i wish i could feel that way! i also have always been over the "normal" weight all my life, when i was younger (high school and pre kids) i weighed 180-200 and wore a 14/16 i thought i was huge! i had a terrible self image, i never had a hard time getting boyfriends or jobs etc. i have a pleasant personality and things always went my way. i look back at pictures now and i wonder what was i thinking?? i wasn't skinny but i was not as gross as i thought i was. i am not happy with myself bodywise now either. maybe i am one of those people who will alway think that way. good for you doing this just for the health of it! i hope someday i can see myself with the confident eyes you see yourself with!!

spores- good for you getting on the treadmill! i have a really tough time exercising in front of people also even my DH and kids who are super supportive! it is a hard thing to get over for me, i feel embarassed also. if you find a good way of getting over it share will ya??

mychoice- good for you with the phone buddy!! it is so important to have a good support system. nich job beefing up the exercise routine too. hope the positive changes work out well for you!!

girlie- good luck with the exercise bike that is awesome you are getting such a great deal! don't work too hard! cart pushing is totally exercise BTW!!

jujubee- welcome!!! i look forward to getting to know you!

thinking about changing careers has opened a whole new attitude for me. i am not real sure about real estate really but i had a huge brainstorm on the way to work, don't laugh! i was thinking about a business, the focus being on healthy fitness, low impact classes for mom's and kids, or really just "real" people. would you take a low impact aerobics class with a struggling-to-loose-weight-going-on-40-instructor?? would that make you feel more like you fit in, or like she just wasn't fit? i am really getting into the total healthy lifestyle change thing. i see so many chubby kids, could any of you see yourself taking an exercise class with kids? i know many of you don't have children but, could you picture it?

Jodi~ I can picture it, I live it!! LOL, every day in my lvingroom. It is not a bad idea!!
Think how fit you would get along the way!!!

Jodi: Yeah, the body-image thing is a huge challenge for me too. I think it also ties in to the doing-this-for-yourself thing. I know we're supposed to priortize exercise and healthy eating and do it as a kind thing to ourselves, but when you've thought of yourself as a fat slob since third grade, it's kind of hard to think you deserve to do things for yourself! For me anyway. I actually got on the treadmill for a second time today while on the phone with my mom. We usually talk for an hour or so every day, and I realized as I was talking that I was just sitting there all the time, so I hopped on the treadmill! Sill shy about working out in front of others, but whenever my bf and I do anything physical -- like stretching or anything -- he makes all these suggestive comments, so I feel sexy and less silly. But still. I think your workout class sounds awesome! I am so intimidated by fitness instructors. I was once taking this yoga class and I was by far the biggest person there (though not everyone was a stick), and I just couldn't keep up at one point, so I was resting, and the teacher actually yelled at me in front of the class! Needless to say, it has rather put me off exercise classes. I also had a NIA teacher who told me I *walked* wrong. But at least she didn't say it in front of the whole class. So sign me up for your real-people class!

Hope everyone else is well. It's Monday, and I hope everyone's week is starting up well!

Good morning,
Ok..ladies...what's your wish for today...for the next month? I'm going to ponder on that today. I think I'll journal about it. I have a lot of wishes; to be a size 12, to have a new house, to get a promotion, for my IC to be healed.....lots more...if you want..journal or write about wishes today. Might be kind of fun to see what's on your mind.

I'm reporting in to my diet buddy. The first day I couldn't believe how many times I might have had a handful of something here and there, but I thought about how I had to report in and I didn't do it. She has a list of specific questions that she wants me to ask her: water intake, exercise, sugar, calorie in take. My list consists of: what did I do when I walked in the door after work (my hardest time to not grab a comfort food and unwind), did I journal, my perception of myself. For me this weight loss thing is really all in my mind..I do well with the exercise, the water and such, but I let myself comfort myself with food, so I'm trying to change my thought process on that.

I'm hoping on Thursday my efforts will show at the scale.

You ladies are taking about some very exciting things. I don't have time this morning to post individually, but I'm going to make time to come back here tonight and comment on Holly's body image and Jodi's dream job and so much more.

I feel like I'm going to have a great day because I have surrounded myself with so many inspired people! I just love you gals!

Got to run!
Susie

Good morning all!

Susie:
The diet buddy is such a great idea. When I was doing WW with a friend locally, it was nice to know that I'd report what I ate and stuff to her. This didn't last as our friendship was on the outs (long story!) but it definitely made me think twice. Even sometimes I think about the lovely ladies here on our thread and think, oh, this wouldn't sound good if I had to tell them this!!!

Jodi:
You are doing awesome with your weight and most importantly, your attitude! I would definitely take your class. I mean, it makes sense to take a class from an instructor who is totally in shape and athletic, but it's not motivation for those like me. There is an instructor at my gym who is kind of overweight - she's got to be a size 12 or 14 - but she teaches and gets down and sweats with her classes. She's fit. I remember once she was just finishing giving a class when I went in for mine, and she stayed and took the class that I was in as well. I KNOW that there are women out there who would love to take a class, but are intimidated. It's a great idea! I often fantasize about giving a WATP class, in a style similar to that of Leslie Sansone, simple moves but an effective workout. I admit though, WATP doesn't make me sweat and breathe the way my cardio-kick does. But all that isn't necessary for someone who's just trying to make exercise a fun part of their routine.

Spores:
What is NIA? I'm sorry about the situations in those classes. Those are insensitive instructors! You know, my brother is a personal trainer...he majored in it in college and all that. There, they teach you about special populations...for example, he had to take a class in which he taught older people, and another in which he had to buddy up with a Special Olympics athlete. Instructors should have learned to be more sensitive in their training!

Oh, I have to tell you guys that Spores has inspired me with her treadmill accomplishments. As much as I do the elliptical, I HATE the treadmill. I loathe it...as a matter of fact, I think I FEAR it. At least on the elliptical, there is little impact. Your feet are pretty much stable and although you can "run", you don't have to deal with the resistance from the impact. It's good, especially for heavier people who would otherwise have a very high impact. Plus, on an elliptical or bike, you make your own pace and set it and it can very. Sometimes I can push it a little on my own or take it easy. A treadmill, however, makes me feel out of control because you have to go at the pace that you set, and you are forced to step evenly, even though in real life when you walk and run most people have different strides.

So anyway, that's a fear of mine. Even when I was able to go out and run three miles, I hated the treadmill. I felt pressure from it. Anyway, hearing the tale from Spores, I decided to brave it and I after 45 minutes on the elliptical, I went over to the treadmill. I <i>jogged</i> for 7-8 minutes and walked for 5 as a cool down. It seems so silly of an accomplishment...but I'm SO thrilled LOL!

It's so different than the elliptical. I'm used to it. I breathe hard, but it's more fun to me...I run on it. I growl to myself. I challenge myself. I can go for five miles on it. But the treadmill...maybe it's some sort of strange internal thing. It's scary to me. But I did it. I was only on 3.5, but I jogged for the first time in a while. And it wasn't bad. I COULD have gone longer but I felt so scared. I started to breathe heavier and that scares me for some reason. Is it because I'm scared I won't be able to do it? That I'll get winded? Not sure if I'll try again soon...maybe I will. I want to jog for ten minutes and work my way up to more of a run at 4.0. My legs are so short that 4.0 is about the most I can go with a walk, I have to start running. I could walk fast at 3.5, but almost seems easier to jog.

I have to tell you this story. My sophomore year of high school. I'd never really been active, but I was strong and lean...about 150 pounds (which we all thought meant we were "fat" back then!!!). I joined the track team to learn discus and shotput. My father wanted me to sprint. I did. Practice was tough and crazy! But i didn't know that the whole team had to run 3 miles after practice!!! Even those who were in the field! I had never run around the block! But I took a deep breath and joined the team and ran. The team started splitting up in the first mile...I was behind the bulk of the group but certainly not the last. It was amazing...I was doing it mostly out of fear from getting yelled at from the coach (who would drive around the neighborhood and sort of follow us to see who stopped to walk!!!), but I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. And I did. Without stopping. I wasn't very fast at all...but I did it. I never ever thought I could do something like that. Run three miles!!! When I made it back to the school parking lot the coach was there, along with a few other girls and they were cheering the rest of us on. It was amazing...they knew many of us had never had to do this before. From that day on, I started running...even on the weekends when I didn't HAVE to. I made my distance up to 5 miles and ran a 5K. I was in the best shape of my life, very muscular and low body fat...although I was about 150 pounds, I once measured around 20% for body fat...which is good.

That is my motivation...remembering that day. That's what I thought about as I was led to the treadmill and as I was doing it. Remembering how I did it that day when I truly believed there was no way I could do it. So I will be thinking about that as I try the treadmill again. DH and I used to go on runs at night, 2-2.5 miles. I was closer to 190 pounds then. We didn't do it often, and totally got out of it and that's when I started gaining more weight. By this summer, I want to be able to do this again with DH!

Running/Jogging is mental, I really believe. Once you get past 10 minutes, it's all in your head...and you're either going to do it or you're not. Your body knows what to do and it will do it, as long as you keep telling your brain that you CAN do this. I think we often have a fear that tells us we can't go another five minutes, another ten minutes...so we just don't.

Sorry I rambled...I guess I'm feeling rather inspired today. I know my calves will be sore in the morning just because of the silly jog!

Girlie