Susie~ I just love you Gals too!!!!! I remember the first time I had a fond thought about a woman in the Journals. I went into a tailspin. I didn't have a clue what she looked like, knew little about her but I looked for her every morning and couldn't wait to comment and to hear her comments to me. What a concept, cyber friends!! We are blessed.

Girlie~ fantastic post!! Love your musings.Wonderful to read.

I am feeling insanely happy today. Kinda like Tigger. Bursting with love.

Three days of sunshine!! Trees are covered in thick frost. Beautiful.
DS told me yesterday he was hot at recess,"it's -1C Mom, that's really hot". LOL!!
2 little guys today til 12:30. For my afternoon off, I am going to volunteer in DD's class. Some people think it is funny to spend my break from kids with kids. I could be nuts.
I have been getting an excrutiating sinus headache around 5pm for 3 days. I will see what happens today and then call the Doc if it persists.
I got a few niggles done yesterday. DH's records are a freakin mess. I will maybe sort that tonight if I dont have a headache.
I ate too many carbs again last night. Comfort food.

Went for groceries with the wee guys this morning, home for lunch, off to school!
TOPS tonight.
Pleasantly dull.

Susie: Wishes, that's a good journaling assignment. I was also reading another thread about that asked what we will do when we reach our goal weights. Lots of people talked about buying a peice of clothing. I am trying to think about what else I want to do when I reach my goal weight: what does it mean for my life? And then the question is, how can I find a way to do that NOW?

Girlie: What an inspiring story! That's an amazing accomplishment to keep you going. You CAN do this! I know what you mean about fear of treadmill. I always clip the emergency stop cord to my clothes just in case. Mine has speed control buttons right on the handles, and at first I keep my hand right there on the buttons so that I can slow down instantly if I start feeling out of control. I think any kind of exercise is important, but our bodies do get used to things, so it's good to move in a different way now and then. Good for you for trying it out! I'm so glad my experience was inspiring to someone else!

Holly: Sorry to hear about the sinus headaches. I hate those!!! Hope your afternoon off is nice. You must love kids. I bet they keep you moving!!

Sorry if I missed anybody. Have a packed evening and must go scarf some Lean Cuisine while I can!

Holly:
How CUTE is your family?!!!! Your kids are adorable, and look like little angels lol! I'm sure you know better :)

Spores:
Have you tried the "Spa" Lean cuisine called Salmon with Basil Sauce...YUM. I just love salmon and spinach! They are expensive, but our grocery store had them 50% off a couple weeks ago so I stocked up.

hello everyone!!
i am feeling great today. i love when i am in this upbeat positive i can do this state of mind!! i try to take advantage of it when it is here since i know now it doesn't last forever. the week has been flying by, i have been good to myself all week. thamk you all so much for your input about my real people classes. i do think it is a good idea, i made a list of places i will call to try and rent space to give it a shot. going to give very serious thought to the planning aspect of it over the next week or so. even if i only do one class this will be a huge accomplishment for me ....the exercise hater!!! who knows it could take off into something! DH is very excited that my "wheels are turning" as he puts it. that i am thinking and planning so his support is there. i am feeling good about the whole thing.

girlie- your track story is very inspiring!! my DD (who you remind me so much of, even though she is only 15 now) had the same thing happen when she did track for the first time. she was so excited when she finished. much like you described! good for you hopping on the dreadmill-- ooops i mean treadmill ROFL. i am scared of all the equipment lol. keep up the great work you are my exercise inspiration!!!!

spores- way to go!! what better way to pass the time on the phone than walking along! combining activities is a really great thing! good for you making the extra effort keep it up!! too bad you had to deal with such an insensitive instructor, some people just don't have any compassion. keep your legs moving girl! doesn't it feel great when you are done?

holly- good luck at the meeting! sorry to hear about the sinus, hope you are feeling better soon!! you sound so positive!!

mychoice- i have an online diet buddy we email eachother just about every day. it is so helpful to have someone to share with. hope it works out well for you!! my wishes huh? well, i wish i had more confidence in myself! i wish i wore a size 12! i wish i could feel like the woman my DH tells me i am!! i wish i was leaving for an extended beach type vacation! yep that ought to do it for this month!!

before i forget again, my goals for february are:
1) loose 5 lbs
2) exercise more often than not
3) be kind and good to myself
4) reward myself with only non food things often!!
that about does it for me i hope you all have a wonderful evening!!

awww holly thanks for sharing those! what a beautiful family you have. i love dd's hair, what a doll!! just beautiful!

Hello,
Just got home from the Y. We really kicked it tonight on the track. We went 2.75 miles in 45 min. I was pretending to be Leslie Sansone (Jodi, you inspired me to lead tonight!) and I kept spuring me, my workout buddy and DH on. Had a good night on the weights too.

Talking to my diet buddy every day has kept me really focused. We just do a quick check in before heading to sleep. I allow myself 2 100 calorie snacks a day. I just seem to have this thing that when I walk in the door I want to eat something and I walk in the door at least 2 times in the evening...after work and after school or working out. So I thought to myself, if I have to have something (or feel like I do), I can only have 100 calories. That seems to work for me. But tonight, just for tonight, I only had one of those snacks. I told myself if I could just give up one every now and then it will make a difference. You know, I didn't miss it as much as I thought I would. What I did instead was head to the bedroom, put on my slippers and took a 10 min nap..it felt great!

Holly: I'm so proud of you and your body confidence. Don't think that just because you want to lose weight that you can't love your body now. Every thing I've read is that we should love our bodies, by doing that and wanting to take care of it by eating things that fuel us and moving our bodies around and keeping them strong we will loose excess weight (the correct way) and have good body images...so you are on the right track! How did your TOPS meeting go? Thanks for sharing the pics. Your children are angelic looking, and DH looks good too! You lucky gal!

Jodi: I'm very excited about your exercise dream. I know that I don't live that far from you (well, it's a ways, but it'd doable!) and when you get this thing going, I'm coming to take a class from you! Yep...I'm going be there supporting you in body. Your goals look GREAT for Feb. BTW, Congrats on making your Jan. goals.

Girlie: I could picture your story. I could feel how lean and fit your body was to do be able to run like that. I can see why that would inspire you....keep that feeling in your head and heart..because you are going to get there!

Spores: I'm so proud of you for doing the treadmill (you too Girlie!) I loved your wishes. Thanks for sharing them with me. What you said about what you want to do after you reach your goal and what it means for your life, then and how do you do it now. Great question! What's your thoughts on this anyone?

I have so many wishes; here are my top 3...to live on the beach; I really hate winter and I want to be some place warm, to be able to wear this cute look I've been seeing, it's like a shrug that you tie under your boobs and you wear a very fitted t-shirt type shirt under that...anyone seen this look..it's cute and sexy..and I want one of those shirts! I wish I could afford to have that surgery were you don't have to wear glasses or contacts anymore and you can see. I'm blind as a bat without my glasses or contacts.

I know we are missing people..where's Debbie, Suzy...who else am I missing?

I'll talk to everyone on Friday; tomorrow night is weigh-in and school.

Susie

Good Morning.

It was SO hard to get up this morning. I wake up at 4.45 and hope to be out of the house by 5a and at the gym on the elliptical by 5.15 but today I didn't make it on the machine until almost 5.30...I still did it for an hour, though it was a little harder than usual. I seriously think it was because of the short jog on the treadmill. Jogging/Running really uses a lot of muscles, even shoulders and arms. I want to ease into this. Maybe every other day I'll try to jog for 5-10 minutes until I feel comfortable and raise the pace to more of a run, then work on adding distance to that. Just small steps. I still wouldn't feel comfortable trying to do it in the big gym. Our health club has a small "women's only" room with a few machines and I go in there to do treadmill. I feel very confident on the elliptical...but no on the treadmill but I will get there. I think about last summer how I was only doing 30 minutes on the elliptical and now I have done five miles in an hour. I like to think about where I can be with running by this summer.

I am so happy that everyone seems quite motivated. Keep up the good work, everyone!

Jodi - If you start up your class, I will be SO proud of you.

Holly - How was TOPS?

Spores - How was class last night?

Susie - Great job on the 2.75 miles! Can you share on your 100 cal snacks that you are having? Have you seen those Nabisco (I think) "100 Calorie Packs"? They have flavors like Oreo and Wheat Thins and they are yummy. And no trans-fat. When I feel like I want to snack at work, this week I've brought in a bag of Pepperidge Farms Goldfish pretzels. 43 of them are 110 calories...that's 43 bites and it feels like a lot!

I weighed yesterday, I forgot to say. I've gained half a pound...I'm at 232.6...this is the point where I need to control this and not let myself get higher. Maybe I can be back to 231 by Sunday, so I won't change my signature just yet!!!

Girlie

Holly: Cute pics! Thanks for posting!

Girlie: Mmm, that sounds good. I didn't know Lean Cuisine had those. I’ll have to try them out. Lean Cuisines are surprisingly good. Wish they had more veggies, but for a fast healthy and actually filling lunch, they are great. I think any time we try a new exercise, it uses muscles that have been unchallenged for a while, so it takes time to work up to it. I’m sure the treadmill will be as easy as the elliptical soon enough. Then you can try another new activity, like that scary rock-climbing wall! Thanks for asking about class...it kind of sucked, actually. My students were being sort of bratty, and I came home a bit dejected. Today was better, though I have a failing student and feel bad about it. Don’t know why it feels like my fault when a student fails. I’m trying not to take it personally, and trying not to let it take over every second of my life. Time to put it aside and do what I need to do for me. Which is exercise again.

Jodi: Glad to hear you’re feeling good! It is to nice to have those periods of confidence. Wish I knew how to make them last longer! I love your “reward myself with only no food thigs often” goal. We should all have that one! What kinds of rewards to you use?

Mychoice: Good for you on the snacks! I have that feeling of wanting to eat when I get home too. I think it is a combination of 1) leftover habit from the after-school snack thing, and 2) much of the time, I am gone for a long time and am starving when I get home, so I just associate coming home with time to eat. I wonder if no-calorie stuff, like tea or herbal infusions or flavored water, would satisfy that as well. Just the act of taking something out of the cabinet and putting it in the mouth. I have been giving a lot of thought to what I will do when I reach my goal weight. Of course, wear cute clothes. But what else besides how I *look*? I will go dancing in public. I will take public transportation without fear. I will cross my legs at the knee when sitting in meetings or theaters. I will not feel terrified and ashamed whenever I hear words like “fat” and “obesity” and “cow” in public. I will cut my hair short. I will look strangers in the eye. I will ride the rides at amusement parks. I will stop having to arrive at classes/meetings five minutes early so I have have time to catch my breath and not be huffing embarassingly when others arrive. I will accept social invitations without apprehension. I will wear no makeup most of the time. I will not avoid children in public for fear they will embarass me with their lack of social niceties. I will eat in front of other people. I will take dance classes for fun. Hm, what’s stopping me from doing these things right now? Shame, fear, embarassment. Hmmmmm.

Hope everyone else is well. My goals for Feb: exercise twice a week (seems like a tiny bit, but it’s a challenge for me), eat out only twice a week (another huge challenge), buy a working scale, be nice to myself once in a while. My goals for today (I need to break them down into little bits): exercise even just a little, do the darn dishes that have been sitting here for days, cook dinner at home, do one thing that’s fun just for me.

One thing I want to do when (as) I lose weight...
cross my legs again! For some reason, I don't feel very womanly because I can't quite do it right now, especially when I'm wearing a skirt. My legs are short and muscular anyway and it's already hard...but now...it's impossible! I feel funny in meetings and interviews.

Just little things like that!

Also, things like going to lunch with clients or managers and feeling like they are looking at me, like I have to order a salad...

Okay, I just have to post because I am proud of myself: I did my treadmill workout today!!! And I went longer, faster, and with more incline that I thought I would be able to!!! Woooooo!!! I know, I know, people exercise every darn minute, and I don't need to post every single time I do some little thing, but I'm all excited because, well, exercising is a big deal to me. I exercised two whole times so far this week! Wheeeee! I'm on a roll!

Girlie: I know what you mean about crossing your legs! I am sick of crossing like a boy. Another thing I'm gonna do when I get to 199: Get a professional massage and not be embarrased!

Feb Goals

do some form of exercise every day minimum 15 min
no cheese except Wed or Thurs eve
be true to myself -eg. Listen to my bodies needs, don’t get caught up in my head and let the body/ food intake go, deal with issues and let them go
eat 5-10 fruits and veg every day
lean meat 4 X’s a week


Wishes/Dreams

This is hard. been thinking for 2 days.I am living my childhood dream in every conceivable way.

to be a better Mom
keep on top of the mess in the house
renos to be completed

Great day today.

Grandma, and my Dad at her 95th Birthday!

hello everyone!
you all sound so upbeat and positive i have a big smile on my face while typing this!! this week is flying by!! it has been great! work has even been bearable!

spores- post away girl!! good for you with the treadmill!!! i know how you feel really!! i am a huge exercise hater and really just recently started doing it regularly. it was always at the bottom of my list and i am slowly moving up to the top of things i HAVE to do just for ME. your exercise goal is awesome! 2 times a week when you are used to no times is fantastic! it is so important to make small goals that you know you can manage. it is really easy to say "i'm going to get on the treadmill and do 5 miles everyday this week" but if that isn't something you can realistically do then at the end of the week you'll just feel bad about it. know what i mean? small realistic goals are so important!! those are the things i reward myself for. as far as non food rewards go they can be anything. some weeks i get myself a fresh new notebook and fun pen for journaling, some weeks i get a new book, a magazine, a good smelling soap or lotion. anything to "treat" myself. i reward myself for all the successes i have, even if i had a terrible week i find some reward for myself to get back on track. this is so much about just taking care of ourselves. i do something good for myself everyday also, even if it is as simple as spending a few extra minutes laying in the tub, or putting lotion on before i go to bed i find one good thing at least to do just for me. many of these things might be "routine" for some but i let myself go several years ago and now i am slowly getting myself back and treating myself like i treat others. trying to be kind, and patient, and loving to me! all your other goals sound right on target too. good for you!!! keep up the great work!! i see great things happening for all of us as we stumble across the 199 line!!

girlie- good for you going to the gym it is so hard to get up some days! thank you for your support! it means so much to me. you will totally be running by summer girl!! take it slow and add little bits at a time. i want to be running by then too. i ran down the driveway the other day just playing around with DH and he said "you know i don't think i've ever seen you run like that before" little comments like that make me want to do MORE MORE MORE. keep up the great work!! i love goldfish pretzels, crackers etc too. really good snack.

mychoice- i am so happy i inspired you!! that is fantastic the 2.75 in 45mins keep it up!!! i would love to see you in my class someday!! i am so excited about it. i will keep you posted. thank you so much for your support!!! good luck at your weigh in!!

holly- great goals!! you can do it!! i really like the "be true to yourself" one that can be such a challenge sometimes! take care of yourself!! grandma looks so happy! nice pic.

hope you all have a great evening!! be good to yourselves!!

Holly: Your goals sound great. And your wishes too! How many of us can say we are currently living our dreams? I'm gonna think on that one. Living my dreams. How do you do it?

Jodi: Thanks for the enouragement! I tend to be a perfectionist, so I set really high goals and then fail and go back to square one. Or, worse, I set reasonable goals, meet them, and decide that the success doesn't really count because it wasn't hard enough. Sheesh, how we sabatoge ourselves! I like your rewards, especially those little things like putting on lotion. We do let our bodies just become maintenance and work. How wonerful to treat caring for yourself as a treat. I am going to think of some non-food, non-monetary (ugh, trying to break compulsive eathing and spending at the same time is hard!) rewards. Today the nice thing I did for myself was eat an asian pear while reading the new Poetry magazine. My poor subscription just stacks up under all the school-related stuff I HAVE to read, but not today! Also watched a movie tonight, and found that I didn't actually need snacks during. I think I enjoyed it more without the distraction of food!

Tomorrow's a bit of a challenging day. I have a busy late morning/afternoon/evening, so I want to do my treadmill in the morning after breakfast. So far I've been doing it when I get home from school and I'm tired and just want to clear my head, so walking is a treat. Not so sure how I'll feel about it at eight in the morning. So, hm, maybe I can think of it as treating myself to a space of mental quiet and physical fluidity at the start of my day. Maybe.

PS, Girlie: You asked a couple days ago about NIA and I forgot to reply. NIA stands for Neuromuscular Integrated Action. It is a workout based on modern dance, yoga, and tai chi, done to various kinds of world/tribal music. It's super fun, very challenging, great for spinal alignment. Most of the class is dance routine, with usually some floor work at the end. The instructors go through a training program similar to martial arts, with different belt levels. I like it a lot, and would like to get back into it when my teaching schedule allows. If you can find a class near you, you should try it out! Even though I was the only big girl in my class, the environment was very welcoming and respectful, with a focus on getting in touch with your body. There's a NIA group near me that has a live drum circle for the music every month. Fun!

Morning chicks!

Wasn't sure if your question was rehtorical or not spores but It got me thinking.

What are your dreams and wishes?

I spent 2 days thinking about it. I am living my dream in every conceivable. Everything I have spent my life working for and through is my reality right now.
I suppose my wish/dream is to live this time in my life well.

The reality check of this is that it is not perfect.
DH came home miserable yesterday. He is often unhappy this time of year. He doesn’t like his boss. He is justified. He takes it out on me sometimes. He was nitpicky and hurtful. It brought tears to my eyes. I stayed calm and spoke quietly and very little to him. I watched ER and went to bed. He was sarcastic to me. I laughed( thought he was joking) he got really angry. Sigh.
This morning he was sarcastic again. I hugged him and told him I loved him.
I still wouldn’t change my life.
Gary Zukav wrote-Without commitment you cannot learn to care for another person more than yourself. You cannot learn to value the growth of strength of clarity in another soul, even when it threatens the wants of your personality. When you release the wants of your personality to accommodate and encourage another’s growth, you attune yourself to that person’s soul.

The upside is that I in turn receive the rewards of his growth in the growth and depth of our relationship.
The same goes for our children.

When I was a child growing up in a very WASP, yuppy, suburban cesspool, I dreamed and wrote about being married to a hardworking country boy, living in the country, baking, canning, gardening, growing veggies, being home with my children, doing crafts, singing, dancing, volunteering at the school............. I didn’t meet DH til I was 30, he was 35.....so in the meantime I went to school a bunch of times, worked as a hairdresser, counsellor, owned a successful business, travelled, went on road trips, had exciting boyfriends..........

So now I will live my life well.

morning chicks!!
TGIF!! friday is always one of my favorite days! i got up early weighed in and am down 2lbs this week. very excited!! the loss got me thinking about this pair of levi's i have been wanting to wear but have not fit. i pilled them out of the drawer and have them on at work today!! i can sit and breathe. maybe a little snug in the waist yet but i don't care!! DH and i are going out tonight for our every other friday dinner out. i already told him no chinese it makes me crazy when i eat it. lol. going to focus on the conversation and good company of my DH. not much planned for the weekend, hopefully relaxing.

holly- you are so understanding of your DH. hang in there hon, i am so sassy i am afraid i couldn't keep my mouth shut. i am the sarcastic one most of the time in our relationship though. glad you are feeling fulfilled. i am living my dream for the most part, other than the job thing but i am working on that too. keep up the positive energy!!

spores- compulsive spending?? that's a whole different story lol. i have problems there too. good for you trying to curb both!! hope you were able to get your workout in! planning ahead for busy days is very important. treating myself to little things makes me feel special, glad you enjoyed the pear and the mag, little things mean so much. have a great day!!
hope everyone else is doing great! happy weekend!!

Holly: Not a rhetorical question, and thanks so much for sharing. I love that idea, "to live this time in my life well." Not to constantly compare one's current situation to could-have-beens, but to live what we have well. Thanks for the inspiration this morning.

Jodi: Yes, I DID get my treadmill in this morning! I wasn't too keen on getting out of bed (Fridays are usually my only day off to sleep in late), but I managed it with some coaxing from my bf (he got out my robe for me and danced it around like it was a person -- he knows jut how to get to me), and I hopped on the magic conveyer belt and actually enjoyed it! Gave myself plenty of time to warm up and listened to my body and didn't push so hard that I was miserable. Yes, the compulsive spending and eating go hand in hand. That urge to go out and blow a wad on clothes I don't need is the exact same feeling that makes me want to eat an entire pie. Urge to consume, in any form. And I can't afford to indulge in either habit! Working on it slowly. Hope your dinner out is nice! I am going to the movied with bf tonight, and am planning to skip the popcorn. It just makes me feel icky; not worth it.

Hope everyone is having a great Friday.

LOL Jodi~ I have a BIG mouth and I am loud most of the time. It took me 7 out of 8 years to learn that to be sarcastic and nasty right back ecscalated things horribly and we'd hurt each other soooo deeply it just wasn't worth it. I was mad a **** last night and really hurt. I kept breathing through it.I tell myself over and over, I love him with all my heart!! When he comes home today I wil hug him and hope for the best.
I love your plans with DH. Enjoy every minute!

Spores~Great workout this morning!!!! Enjoy your day off!!!!
I just bought 18 articles of clothing for the kids for $190. I am thrilled. I am only happy spending $$$ when it is a bargain!!! Darn kids keep growing and wearing stuff out,LOL!

Morning...oh, AFTERNOON, everyone. It's getting late in the day and I don't have that much time. I wanted to let you know that I DID IT>>>>>

I QUIT the grocery store. I requested less hours because they were killing me, and I looked at the schedule last night and they gave me MORE hours than I've ever had, including working 6 hours tomorrow and Sunday (so no weekend for me) AND Friday, Saturday and Sunday of next week. I was SO upset! I started to panic and thought about how horrible it would be for me this week and I finally put my foot down. I can get a PT job somewhere else where they treat us better. I worked my shift last night, came home and thought about it and I woke up at 5am and typed out a memo and took it in today. I wanted to give them a day to find some people to cover my shifts this weekend. I thought I'd give them at least a week of notice, but no...I said I'm not going to do it. I'm done. They've already screwed me a few times and I just let them do it.


I feel kind of bad...I never quit. But it's a stupid part time job. And I knew I'd slack on exercise greatly because of this. I have a 3rd interview next week too - the manager is taking me to lunch - and I need to be in good spirits and rested for it. F*ck it. I'm going to wait this week and see if the natural foods store or the local book stores near me need anyone part time.

Just thought I'd say that. Hee hee. Talk to you all later. I'll catch up this weekend...I don't have to work for the first time in weeks! I'm going to take extra time at the gym...I'll even sit in the steam room or jacuzzi...and spend time with DH, and finally get into the novel I've been trying to read for two months!!!

Girlie

Girlie: You rock the box, girl! Stick it to the man! Don't let em push you around! Give them the old heave-ho! Boy, it feels good, doesn't it? I just recently quit a crappy job because I hated it -- my first time too. Before I always had a good excuse, like I was moving or I had gotten a better offer or some such. But to say, "I hate this, it makes me miserable, and no amount of money is more vlauable than my happiness and time" takes huge courage and belief in yourself. Good for you. You deserve that long jacuzzi soak!

Spores:
Thank you. I still feel a little uncertain...just leaving a memo and saying I'm going...but you know, everyone else just doesn't show up. At least I had the courtesy to leave a memo. Plus, ****, I'm gonna treat them the way they treated me!

Holly:
Since I have time, I wanted to mention what you were saying about your DH being frustrated and taking it out on you. I think it's like that in most relationships, and can go vice-versa. Good for you for taking a deep breath and not let what he said internalize. It's challenging enough to be a wife...and then be a mother on top of it - it's tough, and you know that the strong person is the one who can stop and understand what's going on and get through it. Good for you, really! That is outstanding. Patience really is a great virtue!

Have a great evening all. I went home on my lunch break and DH said he wants to take me on a date tonight! So we've got dinner/movie plans...unfortunately, I'm feeling really tired right now. We might have to postpone for tomorrow!

Girlie

I was telepathic yesterday. Possibly psychic, more likely psycho. LOL!
I told myself that I was going to call DH on the cell at 5pm and let him know there were no plans and he could stay in town with the guys. At 5 the phone rings . It was DH asking if we had any plans and he thought he would stay in town with the guys. By all means!!!
The man needed to blow off steam. I woke around 2am and he still wasn't home. Good for him! Last time he rolled in at 9pm. Way too early.

I had a mostly fantastic day. The sinus headaches of earlier this week have morfed into a cold. I had a monumentally wonky stomach last night. Drank pots of pepermint tea. Didn't hurl.
The good stuff... it was a PD day so I had 6 kids. DS is quite sick but not grumpy.
I was up early, had a shower, fed the wee beasties. At 9 I took DS to a friends farm for the AM. They have cattle, chicken, the local sugar bush and a petting barn, 4 kids....needless to say he hasn't stopped talking about it. I then picked up 2 more kids and went to the early years play group. Kids made hearts out of toast and jam. It went up to +2C. Much romping outside.
Picked up the new clothes. The kids put on fashion shows all aft. This is the first time I have ever bought DD(age 4) clothes . We have been blessed with handmedowns for both kids but it has trickled out. The stinkers wear it all out now.
I made bacon and eggs for supper( you cant have THAT for supper , it is breakfast food, says DH). Ha! Had cut up veggies with it.
Practised DS's line for a play next Fri. Snuggled the angels into bed. Watched Rosemary and Thyme, went to bed and read. Good sleep. Very runny nose. Got up with DS so DH could sleep in. Gawd, I am wonderful. Tons of housework this morning. Hockey at 1. Sunday School planning and lesson prep this aft. Maybe sort DH's books. SS at 9 am tomorrow, Skating at 2. Not much else in between. Decorating shows tonight!
My weight was up 6lbs at TOPS this week. Impossible for that to be accurate. I was feleing wonky and bloated. I have been focussing on flushing out the bod. Water, fruits and veg.
It's still early.
I could run the dishwasher. Very dull.

HUGS dear chicks. Have a great weekend.

good morning chickies~
i am blisfully enjoying the quiet of an empty house, just me and the doggies and some blaring music!! i have the vol turned way up almost to the point where i can not think! i need that, just stop thinking jodi!! clear it all out, feel the music, no food police thinking, just me. kids are at their father's house since last night. DH and i went to a nice italian dinner, and to see "meet the fouckers" sp? we LAUGHED!! silly movie but that kind of comedy just kills me ROFL. i was very sensitive yesterday, easy to tears, remains of hormones i guess, DH did a good job of keeping me smiling for the most part. we needed time to reconnect, i was feeling lonely, i am a very high maintenece wife emotionally. DH gets that. i am very self sufficient in all othr ways so i guess he doesn't mind the extra upkeep in that department. DH went with his friends to a gun show this morning. i am in my pj's till i feel like getting dressed, not doing any of my "should do's" feels good!!

girlie- good for you, sometimes you just have to put your foot down. i hope you feel better about it! reminds me of one time i worked at a little convienence store while in college. i was hired to do the register but suddenly found i was the cooler stocker and floor mopper??? WTF?? told them about it and they did nothing, i just had to bail. you were nice to send a memo. good luck with interview #3

holly- glad you had a good day yesterday! i hope DH is feeling better today after blowing off some steam! guys are funny. we all need that time though. sorry about the gain, i am assuming you are using your end of the period weight? vs the evening TOPS weight? correct me if i am wrong. don't worry about it girl. we all fluctuate everyday. keep plugging along! good for you upping the water and healthy stuff!

spores- great job with the workout, i like morning workouts best i am not totally awake and i have no brain to try and talk myself out of it before my coffee kicks in LOL. what movie did you see? hope you had a nice evening.

have a great day ladies!!

Girlie!! I forgot to say WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO, YIPPEE SKIPPY AND GO GET EM!!!!!!!!

Have a great morning Jodi!!

SUUUUSIEEEEEEEE!!! where are you? what going on?

Spores, Howz your day going?

Hi all. Just a quickie as I am just home from class and must grade a ton of papers before heading out. Sounds like everyone is doing well! Glad to hear it. I saw Sideways with bf last night and then we stayed up late talking and analyzing...such fun. Great movie. It ws nice to get out and do something just for fun. Am in the midst of weekend-eating mindset, so will try to limit my naughtiness to just one meal and watch it the rest of the time. Way too much to do this weekend, so will try to find some little personal quiet time. Maybe even on the treadmill!

Take care, all!

Hello,
I've been missing for a few days and it feels so good to get here.
My weighin on Thursday was really dishearting. I was up 1.75 lbs and I have NO idea why?! You know there are weeks that you know you will be up..you can go back over what you ate, why you didn't exercise and you can find the reason. This gain...I have no idea why! I even felt like I was going to be down. I took it really hard. Was sad and angry all at the same time. I thought about going to Walmart and buying those iced cookies I like so much and eating them until the pain went away...then I thought about "Every time I'm tempted to use food to satisy my frustraed desires", and I didn't go get the cookies, instead I went and bought myself a new spring outfit.

The gain is not why I haven't been here for a few days, it was just that life piled up on me. I've been using my time to get things in order again. I'm one of those that has to have things in order to feel in control.

I hope everyone is working their plans to the most and that you will have a good outcome at the scales to show for it. If you don't, just pick yourself up and move on....I'm hoping this week will show my efforts.

Yesterday we all had to go into work to move our cubicles around. They are putting us in sections with the inside sales girls and marketing girls to we can cross train and have been communications with those that work the same region we do. I'm excited about that move. It will allow me to be more involved in the day-to-days activites and because I would love to go into Marketing, I'll get a first hand look at it.

Holly: I wish I could bottle your energy woman! You posted that you were up at TOPS also. Maybe the TOPS scales were out to get us this past week? I know that they are in danger this week if they don't show a loss for all my efforts!

Girlie: I say "Bravo"! for quitting that job. If you need another part time job, you will find one and I think that working in a health food store or bookstore would suit you better. Sometimes we have to let go of the old so that we can truly move upward. Good luck with the 3rd interview..make sure they know that the best decision they can make is to give you the job..tell them that and why you believe that. It will impress them and you will get it. That's what I did when I went for my new job.

Jodi: I saw "Meet the Fockers"..it was very funny! Your Saturday morning sounded wonderful! I'm skipping church today to take a little time for myself. It feels good.

Spores: I'm so proud of you for using that treadmill this week! What's your plan for it this coming week?

I have a baby shower to attend this afternoon. Not really the way I like to spend my time, but sometimes those sort of things are neccessary and I'm honored that this girl invited me. I was involved in her life when she was a little girl and we have kept in touch; she said she wanted me there to share in the biggest event of her life...isn't that sweet?

Have a great day ladies! It's good to be back; I missed everyone.

Susie

My day yesterday got horrific.I am feeling much better now but ,whew, it sucked. I ended up being really sick with a queasy tummy, the runs, fever and wicked vertigo. I panicked because I was so sick and had committed to do a lot of stuff for the church for 9 am today. I asked DH for help. He got defensive, I cried, we argued.........
I slept for 2 hours in the aft, made supper, got the church stuff done, got the kids kids to bed, tried to talk stuff out with DH, he shut down, we argued again, I walked away from it and went to bed. He is still very quiet today. I actually feel fine with all of it.
I apologized for the hurtful things I said.I dont care about the details. I love him , that is what matters. He will come around.
In the past something like this would have dragged on or escalated into something much worse so I feel good about this progress.

SS went well. I ran a congegational meeting.It went well too.DD and I met DH and DS after hockey at a players house for a skating/toboganning party.We roasted hotdogs on a fire. Very nice. Kids LOVED it. Just got home. Puttering to do.Beds to change. I bought turkey pieces to roast for supper.
All is is pretty much well. Life goes on.
I am feeling very slim. Haven't been on the scale.I could be an illusion but I'll go with it.

Mychoice: Good for you for handling the gain so well! You know, we all get so focused on that scale number, and it winds up being in control of how we feel about our bodies. One little number determines our entire opinion of ourselves. Congratulations on all your hard work and efforts...that’s what counts! Thanks for the kudos on threadmilling, and thanks for asking about my plans! I hadn’t thought too much about them, and I appreciate you reminding me. I’m planning to treadmill on Tuedsay, Thursay, and Friday. I also plan to eat fruit and yogurt instead of junk what I want sweets, to cook at home every night except Thursday, and to do something nice just for me every day.

Holly: Sorry to hear about your bad day. Discord between lifepartners can create such a sense of unbalance. Glad you are feeling better.

I sort of blew it on eathig this weekend, but I am trying to focus on the positive and look ahead. I am hoping this will be a good week. I am for once ahead of the game on lesson plans and grading, so I might actually have a scrap of free time this week. I want to use it productively and not waste it on stressing out about things I have no control over. I think I might try to get back into journaling as well if I have a few minutes. Hope everyone’s week starts off wonderfully!

I roasted the turkey pieces and veg for dinner. Dh came home and he was kind and cheerful. He has worked through his feeling and let them go.We had a fun evening . He and the kids watched the superbowl. I only watch halftime.
Paul McCartney... I absolutely think Paul is a dream in many ways. When I watch him perform I fell spiritually uplifted and joyful. I LOVE how he lives his life. I LOVE how much he loved Linda and now Heather. I LOVE how he values and supports his children. I LOVE how he uses his fame and wealth to be an example of goodness. The halftime show made my day!!
I did not over eat at all yesterday. I was in a total groove. I felt connected to my spirit. Today I will aim for the same!!!!!!

Susie~ I was up 6! last week. There is no way it is realistic. On my scale it is gone already. Maybe I ate something salty, who knows. It does feel disappointing though. The spring outfit sounds wonderful! Good for you for not binging.Hope the rest of your weekend was nice!

Spores~Great on the organization and freeing up some time. Start fresh today with the food. You can do it!

Here is a pic of me from last weekend. I have a fullbody one too but it is too big to post. I dont know how to scale it down.

Good morning, ladies.

Just checking in. This weekend was relaxing for me since no grocery store, but I ate horrendously. We ate out three times this weekend! I also skipped the gym yesterday and had no good excuse as to why. I didn't go this morning either, but will do something this evening. Since we had a big breakfast yesterday, I didn't cook the Sunday dinner I had planned to, so I'm making that tonite - lean pork chops grilled with BBQ sauce, fresh green beans and homemade smashed potatoes. I also got some organic FF gravy and I'll try that out.

I am going to have to think through my plan for this week. I want to eat more salads, but haven't been into it lately...probably because a salad doesn't sound good in cold weather...there was a sale plus coupons on organic soups, so I bought a few. I love split pea soup.

Girlie

When I get tired of salad I just have lots of cut up veggies...red,yellow, orange peppers, celery, cucumber........

Holly: Sounds like you had a great day. Good for you on food. Thanks for posting the pic! We should all post pics so we have faces instead of just avatars!

Girlie: Sounds like you had a nice relaxing weekend. I'm sure you can hop back up on the horse! I get tired of salad too, and am not sure how to fix veggies well. I like them stir-fried with lots of garlic and hot sauce. Does anyone have good veggie recipes? I might check out some vegetarian cookbooks for ideas on how to make veggies a main dish. Too often I think of them as secondary, but I know I need to eat more and make them a main meal.

Well, there were snack cakes in the house yesterday, and I ate a couple, and asked bf to take them to work with him today so I wouldn't eat them. When I got home, I regretted it. Wanted those cakes so badly!!! But luckily they weren't here, so I had a yogurt instead, and am feeling just as satisfied. There are some foods that I just can't have around. And I'm glad I got them out of the house. I just have to be vigilant about what I keep around.

Busy day and I'm tired already. Am reminding myself over and over that I will cook healthy dinner tonight. No resturant food. Not worth it.

Hope everyone else is well.

Hello, All!

Holly:
I like most veggies...except peppers and celery...I can't do it!!!! But I love to stir-fry zucchini and yellow squash!

Spores:
I know...snack cakes! See, when I was younger, we didn't have much "junk" food in the house...and now I'll eat 2 or three little debbies or something in a day. Unthinking eating.

Lately, it's been bread. I've been craving it like crazy...the grocery store bakes their own crusty italian bread that comes in a paper bag. It's soooo good with real butter. Ouch, bad! I did get some butter spray this weekend.

*sigh*

Girlie

Girlie: I too grew up in a mostly junk-free house. Now I go nuts on processed foods like crackers and chips and pastries. I just can't eat them sensibly. It's two or three or more portions in one sitting. I just have to resign myself to never eating them again. Or at least only eathing them, like, once a year. I am with you on the bread thing, too. I am not a low-carb person, so I don't think bread itself is bad; just the white breads. I am lucky in that I really love whole grains and health breads with no butter, so I don't feel bad about eating them. Again, it's the portions.

I had to skip luch today, so am fighting the urge to pig out on french fries. Hoping bf will be home soon to talk some sense into me!

hello everyone,
glad i wasn't the only one this weekend. i made brownies (actually they were made by my fat evil twin) i ate them though!! and candy ugggg. i just needed chocolate. it is all gone now and i did ok today. did not exercise this morning. wow i am such a rebel. tomorrow will be a better day!

holly your pic is cute, is your hair naturally curly or do you perm? i love the waves. glad you had a better day. the half time show was good wasn't it?

girlie- glad you got to relax. i love the bread and butter too. hang in there!!

spores- i am terrible with veggies too. if you find any good recipes let us know.

mychoice- sorry about your weigh in keep at it though. sometimes the scale has a mind of it's own. you did a great job last week, keep it up!! good for you with the outfit!!

Good morning,
I just finished reading the posts. Seems like everyone was fighting the "sugar" snack urge lately. Sometimes I can keep those snack cakes in the house and sometimes I can't. I knew this week would be one of those "can not" times, so when we went grocery shopping I made sure none of it was bought unless it had chocolate on it; I won't touch it because of the IC.

I usually go to the Y at lunch on Tuesday's but I'm not feeling it this morning. I can't decide if I'm going to pack my workout clothes or not. I think I will and then access how I'm feeling about it at lunch. I'm just tired and it takes a lot of effort to work out at lunch because when the workout is over I have to get ready for work all over again. I'm just making excuses; I know I am.

I apoligize for not posting individually to everyone this morning, but I'm running late.

Have a good day! Work hard towards those goals.

Susie

I am thinking about Lent.
I gave up wine after new years and I gave up cheese except one day a week and I am doing well with both.
I am thinking that for Lent I will give up eating in the evening. It really is unecessary and indulgent.
I made the Pork Medallions with Red Peppers off of this site last night. MMMM!!! DH licked the pan.
For Fat Tuesday we are having pancakes, bacon and fruit salad.
I had a school council meeting last night. It was empowering. More details in my journal.
Jodi~ my hair is naturally wavy. I enhance the colour cuz of a TON of grey.
Hope today is better. I made low fat banana bread on the weekend. It satisfies the urge for sweets.
Crackers, good bread and pasta are my big issue.
Girlie&Spores~ I was raised junk free and my house is much the same. Our big indulgence is Kraft dinner. I over eat all the right stuff. Bah!
Susie~You do so much in a week. Take one day off form the gym and get back at it refreshed tomorrow!!!

I am off to do the books for taxes. Almost done!

Hello everyone. Seems we are all struggling a bit with one thing or another. We are a strong group!!!! Hugs to you all!

Spores:
Fortunately, I love heathier breads too. My favorite is by Natural Ovens - it is called Sunny Millet bread. YUM! It's rather expensive, but I usually spend more on whole grain breads and justify the price because it's an important health issue - one that I try to follow. That white crusty italian bread gets me every time. Must stop now. The loaf is gone so I will be okay.

Holly:
I'm Catholic too and have been thinking about Lent as well. I'm thinking about tomorrow, not eating all day...how am I going to make it through?! We typically abstain from meat on Fridays and try to give something else up. My non-Christian friends think I'm crazy, but to each her own, right? I'm trying to make sure I don't make my Lenten sacrifice something to do with a diet...like that I am using to lose weight from specifically...but one that will be a sacrifice mainly. I've been thinking about all the meat I've been eating lately and think I will eat only vegetarian meals throughout the week and allow meat on the weekends. I've been pigging out on meat lately. I need to eat more fruits and veggies and fish. I'm still thinking about this, because I want to succeed. I used to contemplate becoming a vegetarian because I rarely ate meat...now it's just the easiest thing to do, seemingly.

Susie:
I agree...take the day off of the gym if you want to. You will work out harder the next time you go and feel good about yourself. The hard part is to not make a 2nd skipped workout.

I went to the gym this morning...45 mins elliptical and I meant to go into the small women's only room for 15 minutes on the treadmill and try to get in 10 minutes of jogging, but the two treadmills in there were occupied and I was too much of a chicken to do it in the main gym. So I did 50 or so crunches and leg lifts. I feel like a Chicken. I already skipped my kickboxing workout today. I feel so down when I'm done with the class...so I've been avoiding the class, three classes now! I don't feel good about myself in the class, especially when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror during the class. I don't feel strong. It's a sad feeling.

Last night I was feeling a bit of depression setting in. I was feeling so worthless, feeling like I'm not getting any of the jobs I'm interviewing for, feeling like my workouts aren't enough, etc...I ate to console myself. Not a good thing. Keep trying to say positive things to myself to keep me going. I feel better today. I'm wearing a bright color cardigan and have my 3rd meeting as a management candidate...we're meeting over lunch so I dressed business casual. I hope I do okay.

Talk to you later,

Girlie

HUGS Girlie! I am sorry you were feeling down. I have certainly been there.I am happy for you that you are tkaing positive to feel beeter before it gets worse!

I am not Catholic.More of a spiritual nomad. I attend the United Church of Canada.We do Lent too.

How is everyone else doing today?

Hope your lunch goes well Girlie.

Jodi: I found a recipe for lightly steamed broccoli drizzled with lemon garlic butter. Nix on the butter for me, but I am thinking of trying to whip together a bit of olive oil with lemon juice and minced garlic instead. I should ask my mom – they eat pretyt much nothing except veggies. I expect to arrive at their house one day to find them grazing in the garden!

Mychoice: I am with you on working out at lunch. Such a pain to get dressed twice! Once I am in workout clothes, I stay that way all night. But better to leave yourself the option! And at least it gets you out of the office for a bit. Makes the afternoon go faster.

Holly: Wow, giving up wine. That’s brave! Will you share the recipe for low-fat banana bread? Sounds yummy, and I have a ton of bananas in the freezer.

Girlie: It’s such a difficult thing, when healthy foods seem to cost so much more than junk. I went to the grocery with my mom over xmas, and she spent $200 on a week’s groceries for just her and my dad! They eat all organic, vegetarian, no renderings, no additives, etc. When I was a kid, we shopped at Aldi and had processed stuff, and she fed our family of four on $40 a week. Amazing. It’s always a struggle for me at the store when the healthy stuff is so expensive, because I’m trying to trim my waistline and my budget at the same time. But in the long run I think it’s worth it to spend extra on good food. The food winds up being so much more satisfying and nourishing. And it is one more way we prioritize ourselves and our needs. PS, good luck at the lunch! I’m sure it will go smashingly. Isn;t it amazing the way color affects our moods? Hope your day is looking brighter than yesterday.

Holly & Girlie: Will you share more on giving up things for Lent? I’m not Catholic, but most of my family is, so I am familiar with Lent, but I don’t know the details. How is giving up soething for Lent different than just giving up things for weight loss? Which do you find easier to do and why? I wonder if that sense of higher purpose makes it easier, and how that realtes to ou methods of weight loss.

I am feeling glad because I didn't feel like doing my treadmill today, but I did it anyway and wound up enjoying it. Yay! On the downside, I had a burger and fries and milkshake for lunch. Phooey. I would have been so much happier with a salad; my lunch made me feel gross. I've been reading Frank O'Hara's "Lunch Poems" a lot lately, and the guy just loved cheeseburgers. So now I am thinking about them all the time. Oh well, must move on. One poor choice does not a failure make.

Now to think of what nice thing I will do for myself today. Hm. Short on ideas.