hello everyone,
today was a snow day! well half a snow day for me. i didn't get in to work until 12pm. the roads were terrible this morning so i had to turn around and make my way back home until they plowed the roads. i did the 2 mile walk this morning. still feeling rather blech though.

holly- your menu sounds great, i also have noticed when i stopped planning all those little snacks for myself, i didn't want ot graze all day. hmmm learn something new everyday! i like your self challenges! you can do it! good luck tonight at the WI.

spores- glad you were able to sift through my words and come out on the positive side. i think really just being aware of what choices we make is a good thing, a really positive step in the right direction. good luck looking at your choices. it is all doable you just have to find what works for you.

mychoice- great job with no seconds! it is tough at times, starting a new semester at school and still settling into your new job are really rough. you can manage it though! keep looking forward!

girlie- that is so great that DH is working out with you! it feels so good to have support. i wouldn't worry too much about what he is eating after, just the idea of him supporting you is great! keep up the good work girl!!

judy- welcome! hop right in! psycological food issues haunt me too, the fat cells aren't any help either. looking forward to getting to know you. we're all in this together! and we'll make it to 199, just one step at a time. good luck!

debbie- it is really interesting the snacking issue i mean. i was always under the impression i needed something every few hours to keep me going, in reality i just don't. good luck with the fast food issue! it is a tough one.

have a great night everyone!!

Good Morning All
Thanks for the good thoughts about my Dad. He is home again after aggressive antibiotics in hospital and there seems to have been no problems with his heart as a result. The pneumonia is starting to clear. I have been reading about the sacrifices we all make for our families and careers. It is true. We all make choices for SO's in our lives (including careers) that effect how we treat ourselves. That is why my New Years Resolution was to get healthy w/o pressure. If I lose weight as a result...great but the goal is to take care of me and my family's health. To that, my answer is get my family on board. I found myself making two meals at dinner, one for kids and one for me and DH. Now I make one healthy meal that everyone must at least try. If they don't like they can have a bowl of semi-healthy cereal or make a peanut butter and jelly on ww. To my surprise, I have met with no resistance. The kids will just as easily sit down to a chicken, rice, and veggie dinner instead of a chicken nugget and fries. They will eat baby carrots and apple wedges as easily as chips or cookies as an after school snack. They actually get excited about the "new" thing they get and are learning what foods are healthy and which not so much. I love that I can set the example and set the groundwork for a lifetime of healthy eating. It's my job and the last thing I want is adult kids with the same eating problems as me. It does take a lot more time to do the healthy thing and I work mostly from home so I can't imagine how difficult it must be for all of you working full time and then some. Sorry- rambling here. It seems as though everyone is really looking at the whys and hows of making a plan work for them and thinking about ourselves a little more. This is a crucial step toward a lifetime change and that is TERRIFIC. Thinking about just me is really hard for me BUT if I don't take care of myself I won't be here to take care of my family. I love the positive energy from all of the posts.
I wish everyone the best day ever and the strength to do something good for yourself!
Suzy

It’s a ho hum day.
Lots of the usual going on.

DH grumped because I washed his work shirt. Whatever. DS is in a MAJOR quandry because there is soup available at school for lunch today.What if the other kids dont get it. What if he doesn’t like it. Whatever.
Kids are bickering over who had the blanket first. There are only 5 available.Whatever.

I wieghed in and was up 4 lbs. I know it is water. I have had a week of PMS and spotting. Things are flowing now. It is still depressing to see the #. I have been so tired. Iron is probably low(had steak last night). I went to bed at 9 last night. Had a good sleep. Had an adventurous dream. Beach, cruise ship, hiding out from bad guys..........
3 kids this morning til 12:30. DD is going for a play date. I am picking DS up from school and taking him for N.E.T. ( neuroemotional treatment). It is a combination of talking through stuff, pressure points, massage and essential oils. I helps him. It helps ME. I wish we could afford it all the time.

The new book club is meeting tonight. We will decide the format, times etc.... I am curious to see who has signed up. You see the same people around town. Who are the bookworms???? LOL.
I will focus on water, fruit and veg today!!!!

10 min til the bus and then a 1/2 hour of peace. I will chit chat then.

Good morning. I feel really bright today. I'll explain!

When I was at 60 minutes my DH came in to the gym and got on the elliptical next to me. I finished up and took my shower and he was still there when I was ready to leave. I was so proud of him. He says he's really starting to like the elliptical. It feels very unnatural when you are not used to it, you just have to get used to taking the strides and it gets easier and it did for him. I was so proud of him that I went to the grocery store after I left the gym and bought a few things to make him reduced fat biscuits and gravy. It's so good to see him there and I hope he keeps it up. Seems like this schedule (of being a FT student) is working for him. His classes are at night, so basically he comes home from class and stays up all night, goes to the gym with me and then goes to bed while I'm at work.

I did a good job at the gym today. My usual 65 minutes, but I'm trying to get in more distance/strides. I went my longest distance today which was 5.2 miles. I usually finish around 4.8-5 miles so that's a good accomplishment. I'm going out to dinner with a friend tonite and I'm kind of dreading the menu. I know I love the chicken tenders at this place, and I will probably get them, so I'm taking it easy today. I'm going to sub the french fries with a veggie instead and bring home half the tenders. I brought a Lean Cuisine salmon and orzo entree for lunch today and carrot sticks, FF pudding and the 100 cal pak of Oreo crisps. I was running late and didn't really eat breakfast although I did have a bite of DH's biscuit with gravy.


Susie:
I love your story about the singer! Yes, woman, you still got it! :)

Jodi:
I think the snacking issue varies with people. I mean, they say that it's best to have six small meals/snacks each day. I find that I have to munch and I let myself, as long as I've planned it all in. I think I got that from when I was doing Weight Watchers. I still keep a lot of things I learned in the program in mind. Some people have trouble with portion control at meals...I find that I don't really, I can't eat that much at one time...I'm not a binge type eater...I just feel like I have to eat often, so I go with the way my eating style is and work with it.

Suzy:
What you are doing for yourself and for your family is GREAT! That's a great way to make total lifestyle changes and I totally commend you for it! I'm so glad you're not getting any resistance!

Holly:
Your weigh in will get better. I hate stupid TOM! For me, it's a hard time for exercise and weigh ins as well. Your DS sounds very emotional and I'm glad that the NET works for him. Just curious, has he been diagnosed with anything, or is he just very emotional in general?

Hope everyone has a good day. Oh, I have to explain why I feel so bright. Lane Bryant website has a lot of good stuff on sale and I bought a few sweaters and the most flattering pair of knit pants I've ever had - they are black and boot cut and I just feel good in them with my heels :) I bought a cardigan/shell set in a lime green color. DH says this color looks so great on my caramel colored skin. I just feel very bright. I bought a sweater that's almost fuschia, a jogging top that is pink and grey with matching bootcut grey workout pants, a berry colored cardigan and a bright pink scarf/belt. I'm trying to put more color into my wardrobe. I'm always so drab. I am wearing dangly earrings and DH was making fun of them yesterday. He was looking at them again today and I said, "are they really that ugly?" He said no, he's just not used to seeing me wear things like this...he said, "you look like...a girl..." LOL Well, that's the point eh?!!!

PS, if anyone is looking for a few new things, LaneBryant.com has a good sale going on. They have grey workout pants in petite that are bootcut that fit just fine...and they are on sale for $10 or $15. It's always so hard for me to find that stuff. Also all the long sleeve tees are $6.99, etc. If you find stuff you like, I have a coupon code for 25% off your order if you want it!




Girlie

I have had DS to tradtional and holistic Docs, therapy..... there is nothing technically wrong. He is VERY emotional, sensitive, insecure, anxious and yet very busy, social,sporty, loud, fast, fun ......... He has always been this way. Any change is a set back. We have been blessed with wonderful teachers and coaches so far. He is great at home usually but when there is something coming up it all stirs up. It is all about reinforcing, teaching, not losing my cool.......And not accepting the bad behaviour.......
It is a hard journey in a lot of ways because it is daily and endless for now. Every day ,for 6 years of some drama is exhausting.
He is also very sweet, compassinate loving and VERY popular with the other kids.

It is always INTENSE.

That's the DS scoop.

Hi all. Am in the throes of exhaustion, so will be brief. New classes starting, old classes continuing (I teach at two schools; one with semesters, one with trimesters, and it gets very confusing), failing students crying and trying to tell me why i should give them a break after not turning in ANY work for four months (!), bf's new promotion at work keeping him busy and too exhausted to pick up my slack, and the cold has now definately taken hold; I feel like my head's a balloon. So I'm going to give myself a break. Not worry about exercise or writing down food or journaling or all the stuff I'm supposed to do. Just flop on the couch with my book (does anyone else like David Foster Wallace?), some tea, and a ton of water. Trying to do this whole "listen to what your body needs" thing.

Thanks to everyone for the insights and info in all your posts -- keeps me going! :) I'm just amazed at everyone's lives and struggles and attitudes, and how we all keep finding ways to do what we need to do.

Holly:
Thanks for the update on DS. It's got to be so frustrating at times! I hope that I can be a good mother like you are! I guess when babies are born, out with the baby goes any bad tempers and you automatically get a whole lot of patience! I definitely don't have a lot now!

Spores:
Hope you feel better. I haven't gotten sick in the last year I don't believe. When I start to feel anything coming on, I get a couple of bottles of Simply Nutritious "Mega C" juice by Knudsen's and drink hot tea and konk out early.
Seems to work, so I'll take it...anything than getting sick.

Though I'd have an afternoon check in.

Here is today's novel. LOLOL!!

I had flashes of social anxiety last night.
First ,I will say that the Book Club’s first meeting was excellent. I was excited and thrilled.
8 people showed up. 1 man. I knew 1 woman from church the rest were strangers. I was the youngest by about 15 years. We brainstormed ideas of how to run it. We will meet once a month,all read the same book. We will take turns “hosting” the evening and providing a snack. We all threw out suggestions of titles or Authors and then put them all in a bowl. We picked 4 out for the next 4 months. Very cool.
Our first book for Feb is Fall on Your Knees- Anne Marie Mac Donald then Mar- Life of Pi- Yann Martel, Apr-Robertson Davies-your choice, May- No Great Mischief- Alistair McLeod.

After I got home I had embarrassing flashes about how I was at the meeting. I am not sure my feelings are accurate but I had them anyhow. I was excited and animated.I talked about different books and things, as did other people. I had a great time while there. Now I am second guessing my behaviour.
I haven’t felt this way for a few months. It kind of snuck up on me.

The background to this is a couple of years(around the time I had DS) that I went through a lot of personal and professional change. I had a few major things happen where I was personally attacked for things beyond my control.I didn’t have the experience to handle it as well as I could have.I was very involved in a women’s support and business group. I taught seminars on female entrepeneurship, put on big fundraising events, had a small amount of local acclaim.... Then with closing my business,making the family choices I did, people drifted out of my life. It was a lonely time. I did reunite with some old friends and had a couple of good years. Last year one friendship blew up, it turned out this woman had had serious jealousies, insecurities about me for 10 years and had been dishonest in her friendship.That stirred up a big whirlwind of issues in the whole crowd, people took sides etc. I walked away from all of it. Very lonely once again. The upside of this was that DH and I rediscovered each other on a more friend basis instead of being gerbils in a wheel working our asses off for our family. We became close friends with a family in our community here and were making all kinds of plans for camping etc for last summer and then the husband was killed in a car crash. We are still very close to the family but again the dynamic has changed. I had babysat for an awful family last year and dealt with terrible guilt from letting them go. Then they gossiped about me.
It has been a good few months of building confidence and letting go of anxiety and being more secure in my own identity.I have made several lifestyle and personal changes that have improved the quality of my life and that of the family as a whole. Everyone is pretty happy. I have never marched to the drum of the “norm”. I married a quirky guy. I am content with who I am.
I really love that we have started a book club in our community. I was excited about how well it went. I think my fear is about blowing it somehow for myself. I know I cant control everything around me. I can control myself though.
The people who tend to not like me are rigid or have a lot of insecurities. It is their issue but it still hurts me. I am not a bad person. I am vibrant and social. That is just who I am. I like to talk. I am very open. Is it wrong in a group(club) setting for me to be this way? Should I hold back a bit and observe? Do I jump in and be my usual self? What if I am not liked? I realy liked the people who were there. I dont want to blow it because I have a big mouth or weird ideas. *sigh*

I will meditate this aft at nap time.

3 kids here today.Had a good morning with my crew. DS has a special “boys day” Japanese style at school. Very excited. He ate his soup yesterday and the world didn’t end. LOL.
DH is staying in London tonight to install a dishwasher, pick up car parts and visit with the guys. It will be nice. I am gald he is getting out more. In the beginning he still acted like a bachelor which was not okay. Then it was moderate social stuff and lately he is just hanging at home. I tried to get him to go out for pickup hockey with some of the other dads. At least he is seeing some friends more. Ya gotta have more than work and kids in your life!!

I am feeling better physically today. I usually dont have any pms at all except that I cry at tv commercials the day before, LOL. It’s been more than a week of odd stuff going on. I will watch for it next month. I am fine today.

It’s friday, wow. Not much going on. A late hockey game tomorrow. SS on sunday.
I still need to finish DH’s books. I will putter at that. Nice.

Have a glorious day. it is -36C here but the sun is shining.Yippee!

Holly -
I'm SURE you were AWESOME at the meeting! Don't second guess yourself. Just from knowing you on the boards I know we'd all say that you are very confident and have great ideas and have a strong will - so I can guarantee you that you kicked butt at the book club meeting!

I kinda understand how you feel - when I was in college I did poetry readings and was much more social and outgoing and I'd just go up to complete strangers and talk to them (that's how I met DH!). Now though, I'm so much more hesitant about something like a poetry reading - I wonder if my style will suck, if my writings are boring or if no one will "get it", etc. Back then I was so confident in that way! But I know that we all still have it in us. And I'm sure you did a great job!

Today was a day when I almost didn't wake up! I mean, I turned off my alarm, but it was just one of those times when I could have closed my eyes for a moment and never gotten up. But I thought about how well I've been doing and even if I don't lose weight this week, I'm in a great routine and am making exercise a part of my days...and how I'd just ruin it if I didn't get up today. So I did. I did my routine and I felt good.

Usually I'd skip Saturdays, but we're going to a Scottish dinner tomorrow night to have haggis and listen to bagpipers and I want to do a little workout to help defray those calories since I weigh in on Sunday. I'm nervous about it. We want to feel that our efforts are doing something and we get that validity from the scale instead of the smaller everyday successes like we should!

Girlie

Girlie

YUM! Haggis. Yummier yet, men in kilts playing bagpipes. MMMMMMMMM!! Lucky Girlie!!
You are the workout queen!!! :queen:

Spores~ how are you feeling today?? Rest is underrated!

Suzi~ I LOVE your resolution. I have ALWAYS cooked balanced "grown up" meals. The kids eat most of it. DD is pickier. But I dont cater to them. We have a "kid" meal once a week, like mac and cheese or fish and chips.My kids love things like hummus, shrimp, and curry..........
It is tough to change the old ways. Good for you for sticking to it! Glad your Dad is home and on the mend.

Jodster, Debbie, Susie, Susan,Judy..... Whats' up? How are you all doing??

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

You chicks must BE busy exercising!

It's getting lonely in here. Do stop by!!!!

Maybe your lives is just more exciting than mine, LOL!

(((((((HUGS))))))))))

Hi Everyone,
It's so good to get here. I couldn't make it yesterday and all I could think about was what you ladies were up to.

I just got up about a half hour ago. I never sleep this late, but I really do think I'm tired. I've noticed that when I'm tired I tend to overeat.

We had a lot of snow here in Ohio on Thursday (with more promised for today), so I didn't get to go to my TOPS meeting and weigh-in because it was cancelled.

Today I'm planning on catching up on some housework and then my magazine reading and letter writing. I'm sort of looking forward to the bad weather they are saying we will get today, it's an excuse to stay in and not go anywhere.

Holly: About your behavior at the book club; Just be yourself! You are wonderful the way you are. I'm a very social person also and I get very excited about new things; sometimes that weirds people out..you know what..that's their problem. I'm excited about the book club for you. I would love to be involved in something like that, but with school I can't commit to it. I love to read, it's the one thing that I truly relax at. Thanks for sharing the titles of the books. I'm writing them down, so that when summer comes, I have some books to put on my list to look for and enjoy.

Girlie: I love Lane Bryant. I think I have a pair of those pants you described and I love them!

Suzy: I don't have kids, but I don't eat a lot of grown-up meals. You've inspired me. I'm going to try to start preparing at least 2 a week (and then I'll have the leftovers for lunch..that's a great idea!).

Jodi: Aren't we having lovely weather here in Ohio? Glad to see that you are feeling up to exercising again.

Spores: Hope your head is feeling better. You would love having me for a student. I'm the type that obsesses about having things turned in on time! and I try to never miss a class..the reason being is that I have to be there every time or I don't understand what's going on. Right now I'm a 4.0 student. I work very, very hard to keep that. People say I shouldn't be so worried about getting A's, I don't work hard to get the A's, I work hard to understand what I'm learning and to pass the class...the A's are just a by-product of that attitude.

I hope everyone has a good day. I'm hoping to check back in later in the day.

Susie

Hi All
 

Hi

It's been a few days since I've posted, Had broncitis. Feel better!! Well, I did my weigh in and only lost a pd down to 249.One pound is better than none I say. For all of you folks where it's snowing, Glad I live in the deep south, to me 50 is cold Ha! Ha!. Hope the sun shines soon and you warm up.

Take care
Susan

Girlie: Yes, fluids and vitamins and sleep. I also heard there’s a product called Airborne that’s supposed to help with colds...will have to check it out. I know what you mean about readings. I do poetry readings and improv acting, and every time it is the old “what if I say something stupid” thing. But the more I do it the more I figure, “who cares? at least i did it.” And I know what you mean about not getting up...I slept til noon yesterday! I am giving myself a break since I’m still a bit sick, but getting up on my day off is hard. Friday and Sunday are my only days off, and since my bf goes to work on Friday, it is easy to sleep the day away, and then I feel all awful and angry with myself for wasting the day. Funny thing is, my dad also does this on weekends. So I guess there’s a family pattern to look at. Sometimes getting out of bed is the biggest challenge for the day. PS: Haggis? I heard an NPR report about someone going in search of good authentic haggis...I must say, I can’t quite see the appeal, myself! Sheep stomach, right? Ag, not for me!

Holly: Wow, good for you for getting out there and starting a book club! I myself do the same thing you described: feeling very good during a social encounter, and then later going back over it and feeling dumb about it all. I think that whenever we let our guards down and really engage, we have to turn off that internal editor voice that wants to say “no don’t say that; that’s dumb” et cetera. So then when we leave the encounter, the editor voice pipes back up!

Susie: You are so right: school is about getting something out of it for yourself, and if you are really engaged, A’s are the natural result! I am always trying to get my students to understand this, but the younger ones are still in that have-to-go-to-school mentality. I started a class today that is mostly people over 35, and it is SO refreshing to be in a room with people who want to be there. They actually took notes when I lectured! Hm, it occurs to me that I should be applying this lesson to weight loss: it’s about the experience and feeling good and healthy, and the natural result will be dropping numbers on the scale.

sueisme: Congrats on the pound! One pound is a huge success! Yay!

Thanks all for the well-wishes. I feel better today and am looking forward to getting back on the horse. My treadmill should be here next week!

Trading Spaces tonight is a special called Trading Castles? Guess where? Scotland. They are decorating rooms in castles. I am very excited.

A major blizzard is happening just south of us. We are getting the wind. I drove to the city for the good grocery deals. Whoosh, they had a foot of snow. I am still thrilled to have all the 2 for 1 deals on shrimp, chicken breast, organic salad greens, mushrooms, onions,carrots, grape tomatoes....... Yummy! I had a delish salad for supper.
Hockey was canceled ,so all 4 of us hung at home today.Very nice and relaxing.

Spores~ glad to see you are up and about.Why are we so hard on ourselves??Most people are kind and good. The schmucks aren't worth it. Take care of yourself.

Susan~ Congrats. Nice and steady. You are awesome!!!!!

Susie~ your day sounds devine. You put in a long hard week. Sleeping in and relaxing is allowed!! LOL!!

Girlie~ how were the boys in kilts? Yum. I am hoping to sneak a peek at a few tonight. LOL! Seriously though, how was your night out??

Onward and downward chicks!

Holly: btw, looks like you've got some fun reading for your book club! If you are ever looking for other authors, check out Alice Munroe. The way she evokes the small towns/brush of Canada is astounding.

She is on our list!! I love her work. I live in one of those small Canadian towns. She lives about an hour from here.

hello chicks,
sorri i missed a few days, just too much family stuff to take time for myself to post. it was a nice weekend. we got a lot of snow! it is cold, all the extras were cancelled for the rest of the day. nice to have no outside plans for an entire sunday! DH is going to take the kids sledding, so i will have a few hours to myself!!

holly- be yourself! your book club sounds like fun, just be the true you and enjoy!

spores- glad you are starting to feel better, colds are the pits! stay warm and take care!

susieme ditto! get well soon. good job loosing the lb! keep up the great work!!

mychoice- yes we have quite a bit of snow. too bad most of it came on the weekend. i could of used a snow day from work lol. glad you got some extra sleep. take care of yourself!!

girlie good for you getting up to do your routine!! how was the dinner?

suzy1965- i had the same issue here. i used to feed the family one meal and then make myself a diet dinner and feel totally deprived. it helps when we are all eating the same thing. great job!
well i hope i didn't miss anyone here's to the start of a great new week! take care of yourselves!!

I'm back
 

Hi, y'all--

I haven't had much time to sit at the computer the past few days, between work, trying to avoid the inaugural hoopla and the snow. Plus, I've been struggling with something all month, that almost wants to be the flu, but can't quite make up its mind...just enought to be annoying.

I'm down a pound this week. I was hoping for more, but I won't complain ;) . I was hoping to start a low-impact aerobics class last week, but it was cancelled due to low enrollment. I need to find ways to be active despite the snow and cold. But I'm feeling positive! Friends will be over later for football. I've had a big pot of chili, big bags of chips, and a few six-packs of beer in the kitchen since yesterday, and so far I've managed to ignore them. I'd like to lose six more pounds by Valentine's Day, which I hope will inspire me to not pig out today.

Have a good day :bubbles:

judy

Hi,
We didn't get the snow they predicted here, but it's still very cold and we did have some ice. I'm wishing it were April! However, I'm going to make the most of the time I have to work on losing more of this weight so that this spring I will be thinner and have to buy new clothes. I figure if I continue to work as hard as I am and stay on track, I can be down 15 lbs. That's a huge difference.

I just got back from a workout at the Y. I did my 30 min or cardio and I also did my weight work for upper and lower body. I usually only do lower body weight work on Sunday's but tomorrow I have to hit the Y after DH's doctor's appointment and will only have time for a 30 min walk. DH is seeing his doctor tomorrow to get the ball rolling on having surgery to fix his abdominal heria. He's had it for a few years, but it's really starting to show, so it's time to get it taken care of. I'm trying to not worry about the surgery.

I'm decided to really work hard this week on staying away from sweets. I am really having a hard time with it. I think I'm having sugar cravings, and I'm just going to have to stay away from it for a while until my body quits craving it. Because I have no control over how much of it I'm eating. I'm eating way to many sweets and realizing that I have had to many calories because of it, and then not eating the nutrious things that I should have to fill my body up. So, until I get the sugar under control, I need to stay away from those sweets.

Judy: Congrat's on the pound. Doesn't it feel great to see those scales go in the right direction?

Jodi: I hope you enjoyed the time you had to yourself today. Isn't it nice to be in the house all alone sometimes?

Holly: I love Trading Spaces. You know, come to think of it, I love anything that is madeover!

Spores: If I were all alone some days I would sleep the day away. I really do feel like I'm sleep deprived sometimes. I read somewhere that if you don't get enough sleep, you can gain weight. Has anyone else read that?

Susan: Congrats on losing a pound.

Well, I just heard the dryer go off, so I better go get the clothes hung up.

Evenin' Chicks,

Lazy morning. Took the kids to SS. Then took them skating for 1 1/2 hours and then watched 2 Atom hockey games. Came home for a light supper. They had baths and haircuts. All set to start a new week.
We were snowed in yesterday. It was kinda nice. DH has 2 more tiles to drill and then ALL the tiles are up. Can you say GROUT!!?? It is really looking like a room now....well, half a room.There is still a whole wall and sink missing.
He went to help a friend move and has been gone all aft.
I am looking forward to Desperate Housewives and early to bed.
5 kids and storytime tomorrow.

Susie~ it is totally true about lack of sleep, stress etc affecting you weight. Your body is being deprived so it stores more fat to protect itself.

Judy~ great loss!! Hope you fight the bug!!

Jodi~ You busy Gal. Missed you ! Hope your quiet time was delightful!!

New week chicks. I am keeping the same challenge/goals for this week. You gals?? Any goals???

Hey everyone, I am glad to hear everyone seems to be feeling better.
I haven't posted in a few days. Some how I have just rambler few the last few days. With no purpose or plan. just
being. I haven't been sticking to diet or exercising. I'm not blue, just in a disorganized fog. I hope I get it together quick!
I have to go to opthamalogist this afternoon, hopefuly he will release me.
I will try to post more later.


EVERYONE HAVE A BLESSED DAY
BIG HUGS TO ALL

Hello everyone. Only four more days until Friday!

This weekend was good. Not as much "chill" time as usual. But I did go in and get workouts in both Saturday and Sunday so I took this morning off. It was so weird...I haven't slept in until 7am on a week day in forever it seems! I kept waking up every half hour, paranoid that I would miss my alarm and sleep in or something that I didn't rest like I should have and I should have just gone to the gym anyway. But I don't want to overdo it and make myself feel like I have to go every day.

The Scottish dinner was good. I tell ya, you gotta love a man in a kilt LOL! There were actually a few younger guys in their late 20's wearing them, and yum yum yum! Hee hee. I should have my DH wear his next year...and by this time next year, I should be able to wear my short plaid wrap skirts. I have two very nice ones that are both about a size 16. The food was um...okay. The haggis isn't bad...yep, it's something like ground up sheep intestines mixed with onions and spices and cooked inside the sheep stomach. They put a couple tablespoons on the plate. Tastes kinda like liver pate. There's a meat pie called a britie that I ate half of, and then mashed potatoes, mashed turnips and peas. At least I got a couple servings of veggies in.

I weighed on Saturday and it was the same weight as last week. That must mean with all the exercise is evening out with all the calories that I'm eating...which must be way too many calories because according to the machine, I'm burning around 850 calories per day! I think a lot of it is not eating enough veggies and too many heavy things like bread and fried stuff. I ate fried chicken twice this past week.

Arrgh. Just keep going.

Girlie

mychoice: I know what you mean about sweets! I can pass up chips and things, but get me in front of a pie and it's all over. I have been trying to satisfy that sweet urge with healthy foods that don't start the sugar-craving cycle: fruit, low-fat yogurt, tea with stevia, smoothies. It works some of the time. I tried some of those low-cal frozen deserts (from Weight Watchers and Skinny Cow), and they're good, but for me, I just can't eat them in moderation. I wind up eating a whole box, which definately isn't low-cal. It is a small step for me from one low-cal ice cream bar to an entire pie topped off with a pint of full-fat ice cream. I think it's a tremendous goal to cut out sweets -- good for you! I too have heard that proper sleep and weight loss are connected, but don't know much about it. Anyone know the science on this?

Holly: Wow, skating, that is a workout! Last time I went ice skating, my legs were sore for a week. I think your goals sound awesome, and I will join in: my goal is to exercise. Even once, even a little. Exercise.

Debbie: Glad to see you. Organizing...I am with you on that. As soon as I get my organization messed up, I fall right off track. Good luck with it!

Girlie: Well, sheep stomach isn't too high a price to pay for boys in skirts! :) Sounds like it was fun. Kudos on all the exercise. I find that when I do manage to get my workout in, I tend to eat better, because I don't want to waste all the hard work! Finding that balance of eating and exercise is tough.

I'm reminded yet again today of how great it is to have people with whom to talk about this whole deal. I live just outside of Boulder, CO, which has got to be one of the most fitness- and body-conscious places on earth, and there really almost no oeverweight people here! It can feel awfully lonely, especially when all the converstaions around the water cooler are really toned and tan people talking about how they climbed a fourteener over the weekend. I'm so glad I can come here and talk to all of you going through the same journey. All the different perspectives and experiences...keeps me going!

Off to class! This is the beginning of my insanely busy month, so balancing that with trying to start an exercise program and eat sanely is going to be my biggest challenge. So my plan today is to park as far away as possible from my classroom. It's a start!

This really long....
I have had a very emotional day . I hope by letting this go It will help with the weight issues.
Last night as I was tidying the kitchen, after the kids had been colouring, I found a cream coloured piece of construction paper, rakishly folded in half with a small pencil drawn heart on it. It was the work of DS( age 6). I opened it and inside there was a picture drawn of 6 colourful daisies in a garden with a bright yellow sun in the sky.The note read:

Dear MUM i Luv U MUM yor the bes eVr 5000 times

Indescribable JOY.

I did my weights and crunches last night. No cheese all day and no snacks after supper.Yippee! It is really not hard if you actually do it.
I was feeling unexplainably *****y yesterday and was mad at myself for it. After exercising last night my neck popped and crackled. Poof. *****yness gone. Ahhh!!
Another upside of exercise.

This is my journal entry..... after storytime and arriving home around 11am.

What a roller coaster. I am not even sure I will post this. But I really, really, really need to get it out. I have 5 kids here and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sob. I made a cuppa tea and I am doing the 3 part yoga breathe .Whoosh.
It is my Grandmother’s 95th Birthday on Friday. My Dad and Aunt have planned at tea at their church from 1-3 Saturday afternoon. I was asked to pour tea. I have offered my help in many ways and was not responded to. Then they decided to invite family only to go for a buffet dinner after. It is also my DH’s birthday on Saturday. I asked my Dad to order a piece of cake for my husband for after the dinner and we can sing him happy birthday. No response once again.
I got am IM this morning from a step cousin once removed. Telling about how her mom and aunt are doing this that and the other blah, blah..........
I have very strong emotions about this branch of the family. Whether founded or not they reared their ugly head this morning. I felt blind, blind rage. I shook and shook.
These are the children and grandchildren of my fathers much older step sister from his father’s first marriage. This step Aunt died in 1973. These people disowned all of us, when I was very young, including my Grandmother who always treated them as if their were her biological own. My grandfather died before I was born.
In my late teens these people showed up as if nothing ever happened and I HATE they way they schmooze and “buy” my Grandmother’s attention. I am totally bitter. And it is stupid. They are awful, small, petty, lying people. I feel compassion for them but have a lot of trouble dealing with the games.
My grandmother has been my soul mate and best friend every day of my life and I know in my heart without a single doubt that I am hers. We share a beautiful and unbreakable bond.

The other part of this is the feelings that come from my childhood in regards to my aunt, my parents and sometimes my sister. They have all these “rules” and attitudes and act like semi royalty. They are so cold. They quite openly , collectively and always have treated me like the overly sensitive, unbalanced, immature, freak of the family. There are moments of closeness here and there. The last few years have been good. They all socialize frequently and I am welcome but I don’t like it. I prefer one on one. They are much more real in that setting. I stick mostly to the holidays for group stuff. I know what I can and cannot deal with.
The bottom line is I cannot remember a single time after the age of 10 that I was supported, treated with value, love and respected by my family members. I fact it was quite the opposite. There dozens and dozens of incidents that would blow your minds. Only with the “normalness” of getting married and having children( at age 33) has my Mom accepted me as who I am and that was after my dear husband blasted her. There is a peace now. It is about a lot of acceptance on all of our parts. It is about forgiving. It is a growing and letting the past go.
I received an email form my Aunt that put me over the edge.

Re Birthday cake for DH. Would he really want to celebrate his birthday with a cake in a crowd of people, at Grandma's birthday, that he hardly knows? Would it not be more of a special celebration for him to celebrate perhaps on Sun. with his own family and friends?
This is code for “WE” as in the royal “WE” do not approve. Why not just say, I don’t think it is a good idea.The people there will be immediate family and some cousin who he has known for 8 year.
It may not seem like a big deal, especially for a grown woman of 39, with a wonderful husband and 2 loving kids. It just slayed me. I feel like I am 12, sitting in my room crying my heart out wishing someone loved me and would “hear” me.

Thing is, my Grandma always did. None of this other baloney should matter.

This party has nothing do with me and her. None of it should matter and yet I am devastated.
Why now?

I have always wondered how I got born into this bunch. I am sure they wonder the same.
I have started to realize that my journey and my childhood has prepared me to be the parent my son desperately needs. I pray his journey will be easier than mine. I can assure him I will never abandon him in any way. I will make my own mistakes but his soul will never go un-nourished.
My daughter is an easier child now but the same passion is there for her. And for DH as well.

My head is pounding. I will post this to release it. This is not a pity party. I am strong, intelligent and capable. I will honour these emotions and let them go.

I wish for peace.

I am feeling much better now that I have had some time to digest. It is not THAT big of a deal. It was good to get those feeling out though. I have NOT overeaten.

Spores:
We're glad we can talk to you too :) My friend moved to Denver a year and a half ago and I can tell she's a bit depressed...she's gained a good amount of weight since she's been there and she's mentioned the lack of overweight people there. I want to go skiing but DH says we'd never last ten minutes on the slopes because you have to be really fit to ski. Does your BF have weight issues?

Debbie:
Hope you can get organized soon. Once you do, it starts to become routine. Although I messed up TWICE last week. Every night, I lay out my gym clothes and pack my bag with my after-shower clothes so when I get up at 4.45a, all I have to do is throw on my gym clothes, put my hair back and put my contacts in. Once I forgot my after-shower sweats and had to put my sweaty exercise pants back on...ew. Also, one day I must have left my comb in the shower and the next day I couldn't comb my hair. Small examples, but the little things can really throw you off.

Susie:
I tried the Desperate Housewives thing but it just didn't interest me. I do love to watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I always cry.


Judy:
Congrats on the pound! Keep it up!!!!

OK...gotta run all!

Girlie

Holly:
Awwww about the picture DS drew for you :)

Sorry about the family situation. My SIL feels the same way about her family. She feels like she never was accepted and she has mentioned many examples of this, like what you have mentioned too. I even often feel like they "like" me better than they like her...for example, I'll get hugged and kissed and she will get a simple "Hi". Stuff like that. But they just love me and DH (her brother). It gets frustrating.

Hang in there. That's all you can do.

Girlie

hello everyone!
i am cold and feeling really p.m.s.ey (well thats not a word. i feel really *****y!!) TOM is due at the end of the week. like girlie said just 4 more days till friday! nothing in particular bothering me just on edge, hormone stuff, i even feel kind of itchy, like my skin is crawling. made myself some tea with honey and lemon and came here to vent. i love you gals! i can just let it all out and move on. it was not a stellar weekend with the food. i am back on track today, i need to find a monday-thursday diet. the weekends just kill me!!

girlie- great job with the workouts!! glad you got to stay in bed til 7 today, i know the feeling of looking at the clock every half hour all too well. keep trying with the food, you will get there!!

spores- good luck with your goals. nice first step parking far away! all those little extra steps add up.

mychoice- good luck with eliminating sweets, i am a huge cake/cookie/pie fan. it is very hard but i know you can do it!!

judy- congrats on the loss!!! keep up the great work!!

holly- thank you for sharing that with us. families are the pits sometimes. enjoy your grandmas birthday and don't let them get to you!! the card from DS sounds beautiful, i carry this small little scrap of paper in my checkbook that says "mom i (heart) you luv patch" i have had it for 5 years now from my little DS. give him a hug!!

debbie- good luck at the doctor, i hope all goes well. stick with it the fog will lift soon!!
hope you all have a great evening!!

HUGS Jodi! I cant believe you thanked me for sharing. I thank ALL of you for taking the time to read when I spill my guts.

We all have our food demons. Sweets aren't that hard for me. I struggle with breads and cheeses. I get excited by a good loaf of bread. Maybe I am a freak!! LOL!
Girlie~ dont forget the non scale victories and how good you are treating your body with the good food and workouts. You are awesome!!

Spores~It would be hard not to connect with people where you live.I was more self conscious in the city.I am glad you found us. I enjoy reading your post and your feedback!

Debbie~ hope you got a good report and all is well with your eye. HUGS!

I thought this would be fun to share. A little light heartedness!
Copy and paste and then erase my answers.

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? The Highlands or Northern Ontario
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? Flannel PJ pants
3. WHAT IS THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? Canadian Idol...embarrassing
4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 6-6:45
5. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? dishwasher
6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I would love to sing
7. FAVORITE COLOR? I love all colours
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIECE OF MUSIC/COMPOSER Led Zeppelin 3- the whole album
9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? yes
10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? Chronicles of Narnia, Watership Down, The Little Princess, Little House On the Prairie, Anne of Green Gables, Nancy Drew...... I read a LOT
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Fall
12. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Wow...bring harmony and peace
13. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? butterfly
14. CAN YOU JUGGLE? no
15. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? dont know
16. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY? I like every day
17. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? a cement block, air mattress, rollerblades, hockey sticks, sticks from the beach,blankets, rubbish
18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? neither turns me on
19. WHERE DID YOU TAKE YOUR LAST HOLIDAY? Tobermory, Ontario
20.IF YOU COULD DO ANY ACTIVITY IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? lay on the beach reading
21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM? Teel
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? Hollyhocks!
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL? Greek or Thai platter

OK, got back from my 2nd job and I'm feeling restless. I hope I'm not too tired in the morning for my kickboxing class. I got off of my regular job at 5p and went into the grocery store to work at 6pm. I'm bagging this week otherwise they'd give me no hours. So they made me go out and do the carts in the lot which totally sucked, and no one showed me how to do it...I just started pushing carts. I think I hurt my lower back too. Hey that was exercise, eh? The thing that sucks the most is coming home around 9.30p from the 2nd job and hungry...STARVING after seeing all this food on the conveyor belt. DH made a frozen pizza so I had just one slice and shared a Lean Cuisine with him (rice and beans). I had a cup of soymilk and I'm ready for bed. I wanted to check in really quickly. I feel like I need some support and to vent a bit or else I'll go munching again. It's gonna be another night like this tomorrow and Thursday. I also work there Sunday. I took a vacation day at my day job on Wednesday because I've got a 2nd interview with a company...and I know I'll be tired.

OK, I am going to answer Holly's questionnaire and go to bed! Thanks for posting this Holly:

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Hmmm...I'd love to live in the English countryside!
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?---- Old Navy sweatpants
3. WHAT IS THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? ---- Janis Ian Live CD
4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? ----- 4.45a
5. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? ----- wooden spoons
6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? --- violin...I HAVE one...
7. FAVORITE COLOR? ------ grey
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIECE OF MUSIC/COMPOSER --- Paula Cole "This Fire"
9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? --- yes, in a way.
10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? --- Judy Blume novels!
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? --- ditto on Fall
12. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? --- Super fat blaster?
13. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? ---no, but I'm trying to get DH to let me get a Hello Kitty tattoo after 50 pounds lost!
14. CAN YOU JUGGLE? --- not very well
15. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? ---- wow...good one but not sure.
16. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY? ---- I like Sundays
17. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? --- WWII stretchers...don't ask!
18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? --- SUSHI!
19. WHERE DID YOU TAKE YOUR LAST HOLIDAY? --- Minneapolis, MN over the summer
20.IF YOU COULD DO ANY ACTIVITY IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? ---I'd love to play in a pipe band at the Edinburgh Tattoo in Scotland.
21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM? --- Holly
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? --- gerbera daisies
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL? ---- miso soup, shrimp tempura, various sushi and then red bean ice cream! YUM.


Good night all. Six hours from now the alarm will sound...

Good morning everyone, I was released by my dr yesterday. Thank you for asking. My vison in doing much better. the day I first went to him the eye chart was just a gray rectangle, I couldn't even see that big E with my left eye. That was scarey.
I am off today. I did a lot to the house yesterday and did all the laundry
so I just have some touchup to do.
Holly: we arent close to dh family
they live within 35 mls and we only see them 1-2 time a year. They are very strange folks. My closest family is 1000miles away. I have 1 brother who is single and a sister with her dh and kids. I am the old head of the family lol. Parents, g-parents aunts and uncles all deceased. Sometimes I miss the family times.

I LOVE BREAD, PASTA AND CHEESE. These are my biggest demons.

Girlie: 2 jobs. WOW! When spring comes you will love bring in the carts
Being outdoors is my favorite part of my job. Except 100 degree days.
1. IF I COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WERE WOULD IT BE?... Montana, a big ranch home on a lake.
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF COTHING?... My old soft red robe
3. WHAT WAS THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?... Eagles, **** freezes over. ok, for the 2-3 time.
4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?... 5:30, Mornings are my favorite time of day.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?... The coffeemaker.
6. IF YOU PLAYED A MUSICAL INSTURMENT. WHAT WOULD IT BE?...?, I played drums in school. but now I love to hear the flute. maybe flute.
7. FAVORITE COLOR?...blue.
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF MUSIC/COMPOSER?...Fire and Rain/James Taylor.
9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE?... yes
10. YOUR FAVORITE CHILDRENS BOOK?... Charlottes web
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?... Spring, to me that is when everything can start new.
12. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPERPOWER. WHAT WOULD IT BE?...I agree, super fat-blaster.
13. IF YOU HAVE A TATOO. WHAT IS IT?... a rose, with a banner that says FOREVER IN THE WIND.. A biker thing
14. CAN YOU JUGGLE?... Only the bills..
15. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU GO BACK AND TALK TO?...
G-Mother. She was an artist. and a bit of a naturalist. She was very good with natural cures. She grew up in the mountains and knew a lot of old indian
cures.
16. WHAT YOUR FAVORITE DAY?...
Friday.
17. WHAT'S IN TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?... Car stuff,oil jack ect. I'm glad they didn't ask about back seat.
18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?... cheeseburger.
19. WHERE DID YOU TAKE YOUR LAST HOLIDAY?... Georgia
20. IF YOU COULD DO ANY ACTIVITY IN THE WORLD WHAT WOULD IT BE?... HIke the entire lenght of the appalachian trail, from Georgia to Maine. a life long dream of mine.
21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM?... Holly
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?... Angelface Rose.
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL?... Any good mexican food.

Boy, I hope that turned out I couldn't get it to copy/paste so I just rewrote it
EVERYONE HAVE A BLESSED DAY

Debbie~ Good news about your eyes!! You must be relieved.
RE: family, I love my immediate family very much. I am thankful for them and the good times we share.I would miss them too if we were that far apart. It was hard growing up with all the social airs. I never knew what was real. Tough on a kid. I flew off the handle a lot. For me, I have learned how to have a decent relationship with each of them and still be true to myself. I will always be the square peg in the round hole. In a way I am blessed too because I do say what I think. I have been known to say, "bullshit, what a load of crap" and no one bats an eye. In fact sometimes they laugh.
I did respond to my aunt because after thought and talking it over with DH it felt right to me to do it. I have peace now with it.
Of, course , none of them would actually say what they really think so it doesn't escalate in to a big drama, ROFLMAO!!!!

Girlie~ HUGS, hope you aren't too tired today. You have a lot on your plate. I have trouble sleeping too if i am really busy in the evening.

I'm alive! I'm not very tired, surprisingly. Fortunately, my back feels fine. I was worried about that from the carts. I hope I don't have to do it again tonite. They saw I wasn't very happy about that last night.

I got up okay, did 20 mins on the elliptical and then went into my cardio kick class. It's a good class because along with all the kicking, punching and fast music, we do a floor portion for the last 10 minutes. It's the toughest part for me because I have very weak abs! My legs are strong enough to carry me 65 minutes on an elliptical, but not enough for me to lie on my back and hold my legs up and do lots of crunches without putting my feet back on the floor! So I know I need to work on those at home so I can be better during the end of class.

Debbie:
You know, I have very bad eyes and always have. When I go to the doc, I can't see the big E at the top...of course, I KNOW it's an E, but if they changed the letter, I wouldn't know what it was without squinting very hard. I've got a rather bad prescription, but fortunately, my prescription hasn't changed too much in the past ten years. I wear contacts, but technology has gotten better so that I can also wear glasses that aren't coke bottles...they look pretty normal!

Girlie

Holly: Thanks so much for sharing and letting us be a part of your letting go. Writing and putting it out is a wonderful way to release these things. I think it's amazing that you found a way to respond to all this without overeating or letting it sabatoge your own needs. And finding that exercise can serve the same function (and better!) than emotional eating...that's a wonderful discovery to make for yourself! A thought: Maybe for your grandmother's birthday you could write her a letter telling her just how much she means to you. A way to speak to her personally and directly and quietly in the midst of all the family hullabaloo. Might give her that same wonderful feeling you had when you found your son's note. And might give you a sense of peace, knowing that whatever negative feelings surround the whole event, you can express yourself lovingly to the person who matters the most. Just a thought.

Girlie: Yes, the whole mountain-area-fitness-obsession can get a person down. Not that I wish everyone else had my same problem (though a good percentage of Americans are struggling with weight!), I just hate the sense of moral superiority that wafts through the air around here. Some of that I'm sure is just me projecting (don't we all fear deep down that our weight is a symbol of some inherent personal fault?), but some of it is certainly tangible. I am also realizing that spending every day of the week in a classroom of teenage girls is a terrible thing for a woman who is just getting visible fine lines. I actually find myself comparing myself to my 17 year old students! Not a good thing! My BF doesn't have weight issues at all. He was always skinny, and now is getting a little tummy, but nothing that concerns him. I am always amazed at how much he eats! He is the only person I have ever met who actually does not care what others think or how he looks in their eyes. I myself always give lip service to that idea, but he really lives it. So in a way it's great to be with a guy with no weight issues and few image issues, because he puts things in perspective and really exemplifies to me how to live outside of society's pressures. But on the other hand, he can't really know what I'm going through, the deeply ingrained fear and shame and guilt and insecurity that go with being signifigantly overweight. But he's always very supportive without being judgemental. In fact, last night I really wanted to get fast food for dinner, so he just went in the kitchen and fixed a nice healthy meal for me. So supportive. And though he doen't have weight issues, he is definately NOT an active person. So we're trying to work together to have a more active life, not just for weight loss, but for health and fun. I myself sometimes think we should try skiing, but it is indeed quite the strain on the leg muscles, and I'm afraid I can't do it. But then again, my whole motivating factor these days is to stop living my life based on fears. If I fear I can't do something, that's a sign that I'd better by gum go out and do it, or I'm going to wind up with a life of regrets. So if you decide you're going to give skiing a shot, I'll hit those slopes with you! But not those scary black diamond slopes. That's just insanity.

Jodi: Weekends just kill me too. All that unstructured time! I still haven’t found a good way to deal with it. Though now that it is getting nice here, I think I’ll start hitting the farmer’s market on Saturdays. A fun way to spend the morning, and then all those delicious colorful veggies to cook up!

Debbie: Whew, glad your eyes are better. It’s so scary to not feel stable in our own bodies. I have been reading a bunch of case studies of neurological disorders, and it is so scary to think of losing some basic function that we take for granted.

So on the skilly daily post thread, someone made a list of the things they need to lose weight, and I thought that was a cool idea. We often think a lot about what we should be doing, but not about the tools/resources/inner states weourselves need for success. So I’m gonna make a list too:

What I need to succeed.
1. Time to plan and execute those plans
2. Accountability without guilt
3. A strong sense of self-worth
4. Simplicity and clarity in what I should be doing/eating
5. Rewards for even small successes

I loved reading everyone’s answers to this little self-inventory, so I’m chiming in too:

1. IF I COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WERE WOULD IT BE?...I’d build a 2-acre alpaca farm in the middle of New York City (in the East Village, specifically) with a super-modern house and a bunch of rustic little barns. Impossible, I know, but I’m dreaming here, right?
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF COTHING?... My bf’s giant soft striped robe...I steal it if I wake up first in the mornings.
3. WHAT WAS THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?... Wilco’s Yankee Foxtrot Hotel and the soundtrack to the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?... 7:00 on early-class days, noonish on days off
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?... Toaster oven. A wonderous device.
6. IF YOU PLAYED A MUSICAL INSTURMENT. WHAT WOULD IT BE?...?, I already do play a bit of guitar and sing, but if I had the time, I’d learn to play the accordian and then start an awesome loud rockin punk-accordian band.
7. FAVORITE COLOR?...It depends on the object in question.
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF MUSIC/COMPOSER?...It’s a toss-up between Angelo Badalamenti (he does the music for most of David Lynch’s films) and my own bf.
9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE?... no
10. YOUR FAVORITE CHILDRENS BOOK?... Alice in Wonderland. I wrote a thesis on it.
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?... Autumn.
12. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPERPOWER. WHAT WOULD IT BE?...I would have stretchy stalks on my eyeballs so I could peek around corners.
13. IF YOU HAVE A TATOO. WHAT IS IT?... tattoo-free, but only because I’m too fickle. If I thought I could pull it off, I’d get big anchors on each forearm.
14. CAN YOU JUGGLE?... No, but I can can-can.
15. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU GO BACK AND TALK TO?...My great-grandmother. She died just as I was getting old enough to want to know my family members’ histories, and she was a fascinating and caring woman.
16. WHAT YOUR FAVORITE DAY?...Fridays. My day off, when I can hide out from the world.
17. WHAT'S IN TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?... The various bottles of additives my car needs poured into it in order to occasionally run, various tools, camping chairs, cow skull.
18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?... Cow all the way, baby.
19. WHERE DID YOU TAKE YOUR LAST HOLIDAY?... Vacation...what an exotic concept.
20. IF YOU COULD DO ANY ACTIVITY IN THE WORLD WHAT WOULD IT BE?...Compete in an international ballroom dancing competition.
21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM?... Holly
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?... Dandelion.
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL?... Oh, dear, that could be a 20-page answer. Anything my mom or dad makes.

Spores~ my Grandma had a little stroke 3 years ago in May. I wrote her a letter on Mother's Day just to be certain she knew what she mean to me. We truly are best friends. No real doubts or questions there. She knows about the buttheads too. We laugh together about it.
My DH is naturally skinny too. He also is very comfortable in his skin. He is odd but makes no excuses for who he is. I LOVE that about him.
No regrets! Go skiiing!!!

I did my monthly baseline weigh in this morning-227.

Hope everyone is having a groovy day!!

hello everyone!
good to see everyone is feeling good today. my mood is getting better. DH is working late so i have some time for just me as soon as thie kiddos go to bed.

spores- i love the open markets too, still too cold here for that though. i tend to let the weekends turn in to a free for all, maybe because of so much structure durning the week. who knows??

holly i like the self inventory, glad you got all your feelings sorted out. good for you with the monthly weigh in!

debbie glad you are doing better.

girlie- too bad your days are so long hang in there!
have a good night everyone!
1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? anywhere with a beachfront
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? Flannel PJ pants, yep that is it!!
3. WHAT IS THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? norah jones
4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 6ish 5ish if i am exercising.
5. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? Mr.Coffee!!!
6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? piano
7. FAVORITE COLOR? cranberry
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIECE OF MUSIC/COMPOSER ?? i'll have to think about it
9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? yes
10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? the lion, the witch and the wardrobe
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? spring
12. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? i like the fat blaster idea!
13. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? nope too chicken
14. CAN YOU JUGGLE? no
15. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? my grandfather, he died when i was 4.
16. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY? friday!!
17. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? camping chairs, magazine, baseball stuff.
18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? burger
19. WHERE DID YOU TAKE YOUR LAST HOLIDAY? long pond, PA
20.IF YOU COULD DO ANY ACTIVITY IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? spend days making the perfect sand castle.
21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM? holly
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? lavender
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL? stuffed cabbage rolls

Hello Everyone,
I just had the most wonderful time reading everyone's posts and learning about all of you in the questions you answered. It was really fun!

I think I'm over the sugar addiction. It really made me feel mean, coming off of it! I used to not like sweets, but I seem to crave them now that I'm older. I think I have such a hard time with wanting something sweet, because I really can't have what I want, which is chocolate, but with the IC, there's no way! It would cause me to much pain. Also, because of the IC, I can't eat a lot of things; such as most fruits and things like yogurt, they all have acid or viniger in them and I can't have that, or I'm in pain, so I do without. Most of the time I can live with it, but then there are days I try to satisfy that urge with something else and it doesn't always get the job done.

Oh well..we all have things we have to contend with.

Debbie: I'm glad your eye checkup went so well.

Spores: The list you made is very insightful. You said you were going to park at the far end of the lot and walk today..did you do it?

Holly: Here's a ((HUGGG)) for you and girl, you did awesome by not overeating with that senerio going on. I'm really proud of you!

Jodi: I think the cold is getting to me too. I felt really PMSy (I still do that even though I had a hystercomey (sp?)...but I'm feeling better now..the sun was out today..it felt warm and I'm off the sugar..that all helped!

Girlie: How's your back feeling?

If I missed someone...sorry about that..I'm getting tired and it's time for bed...but I want to do the questions so here they are:

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Beachfront, North Carolina
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? In the winter..I love my socks! In the summer, it's my sandels.
3. WHAT IS THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? Destiny's Child
4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 5:30 a.m.
5. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? Ice cream scoop
6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Piano
7. FAVORITE COLOR? Green, right now
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIECE OF MUSIC/COMPOSER ?? Don't really have one, but I love Blues and Jazz.
9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? Yes
10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? There's a Monster at the End of This Book.
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Summer
12. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Healing of the sick.
13. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? I have 2. The one on my shoulder is daisy's, the one on my ankle is the Women Of Faith heart.
14. CAN YOU JUGGLE? No
15. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? My dad...I miss him every day..and my Aunt..she was the one person in our family who knew all the "history" and she passed away suddenly and we never bothered to get it all written down before that.
16. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY? Saturday's
17. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? Snow shovel
18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? Cheeseburger
19. WHERE DID YOU TAKE YOUR LAST HOLIDAY? Niagria Falls, Canada
20.IF YOU COULD DO ANY ACTIVITY IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? Vacation in Denmark with my penpal
21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM? The Race to 199 board
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? Daisies
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL? Anything with a tomato sauce base..it's been over a year since I had anything like that!

That was fun! Talk to you all tomorrow.

Susie

I think I bragged too soon about snacking. Yesterday about 10:30 I just HAD!! to have chocolate. Nothing else would do. I sent ds 4 mls for snickers.
I hope that out of my system. I over ate all day. I just felt like I had no control. I really hate that I can't get
full, nervous feeling. I hope today is better.
Spores: Go to th slopes, if you realize skiing is not for you grab a tube and have a blast. I haven't tried it yet, but I think it would be like a trip back to childhood. Being Texans we didnt use sleds. we used cardboard and
tubes.
Got to go this is a work day
BIG HUGS TO ALL

I have a sweet 6 month old here for the morning. MY DD has taken right over. She asked me the other day, why I didn't have a baby in my tummy, it was time!

My ankle bone looks like a blue golf ball. I think I am screwed as I get older . I definitely need to unload this weight. I have a sprained this ankle dozens( literally) of times since I was 11. Very weak.( stepped on a toy yesterday, went over on it)
DS has been having great days. The anxiety seems to have faded. 4 kids here today. More puttering and icing of the ankle for me. I get soooo restless just sitting. There was a movie on TV I was interested in last night, I lasted 45 minutes and then got up and did stuff. Nutty. Maybe the movie wasn't that good, LOL.

Debbie~ today is a new day. Start fresh!

Susie~ the quiz was a blast! Nice you got the sugar under control!

Have a glorious day dear friends!!!

Jodi: I think we are really raised to follwo structure during the week (school or work; very regimented) and have "freedom" during the weekend. So yes, my plans always fall apart on weekends because I have long been conditioned to view that as "free" time: freedom from rules, schedules, hassles, doind what I have to do instead of what I want to do. So to keep up a structured plan on weekends is near impossible. But my ultimate goal, beyond the number on the scale and calories eaten and exercise done, is to become toe sort of person who makes healthy active choices not just because I am supposed to, but because I genuinely want to. My goal is to make healthy behaviors second-nature; as second-nature as being sedentary and eating donuts are now. And I think that would sovle the weekend problem. Big question is: how to become that kind of person? That's a huge challange, changing the fundamental habits and tendancies we have. Maybe the way to do it is to stick to a regimented plan (even on weekends!) long enough that it becomes habit. Changing habits is like re-wiring the brain: changing the unconscious impulses. Difficult. But I have faith, because I have become a flosser! I used to floss rarely, but decided that I wanted it to be a habit. So I stuck to a plan for a long time, and now reaching for the floss at night is pretty much automatic! So it can be done!

MyChoice: I did actually park further than usual, though I could have parked further. And I think I actually saved time by not driving all around looking for a close spot! Can you tell me what IC is? No sweets is definately a challenge.

Debbie: Tubing, that sounds FUN! We all have those irrestible cravings sometimes; the key is to accept it and move on.

Holly: Ouch, ankle trouble is no fun! Hope it heals soon. Have you ever tried water aerobics? I hear it's great for the joints. I have bad knees, so was thinking of trying it if I can talk myself into a swimsuit!

Incredibly rushed today, so am focusing on slowing down where I can and making good food choices despite the stress. Just downed a Lean Cuisine and yogurt: good so far. And am taking these few minutes out to post. Important to slow down and reflect, even for a few mintues. The world won't end if just one of those phone calls on my list doesn't get made today. Right?