Hi Girls

Friday, ahhhhhhh. Only 2 more Friday's and we are out of school. The kids are now counting down, as am I. I went to the first Health SAC, about the school lunch program. What a waste. So, I decided that instead of tackling it from a Lunch/Snack program, I am going to (with another teacher) implement a walking program for 2 days out of the week, during recess for 25 minutes. Any kid who will do the walking program will get little prizes after so many miles. Next week, we will present it to the student body for suggestions. Any kid who doesn't want to won't be obligated. I am up to 22 kids now walking with me, and I walk everyday at recess. And, there is less spatting on the the playground. Hope it all goes well.

Spores, About a plan with meals included. Our school's sect. just finished with Jenny Craig, she lost all of her weight on the meal plan, and now is going back to reg. food. She has already gained 7 pounds back in the first month. I was also considering that, but decided that I really have to get in control of the meals I prepare, or eat. It is very difficult, because we LOVE to eat, and we like GOOD food. It has been a struggle and really is a constant battle everyday. What has helped me tremendously is I read the label for carbs, and serving size. THAT'S IT. I only eat 2-4 carbs per meal, and only what the serving size is. That way I am getting what I want, but really staying with how much is a serving size. 1 carb is 15 grams. I haven't really added reading for fats, because I am a carb addict. I needed to get in control of those, and work my way up. I have done very well, and I do slip up at times. I definately would take up the nutritionist calls, and advice.

Holly-- Great loss for you. (happy dance). You really stay so busy, I don't know how you manage to take care of you. You truly inspire me.

Debbie-- I think Curves and you really agree with one another. Congrats on loss. YIPPIE.

Girlie, You are doing well also. You made great choices. Hip Hip Horray. I love salmon too, and it is soooo good for you. We eat fish every friday here, so I would stock up on that deal if I found it. We don'thave a super Walmart here. I wish. We do have a super target, but it is a hour away.

Anyone I have missed, I am truly sorry. I am whipped, and my DS just got home from his golf meet, they took 1st. (proud mom), and he is begging me to help him install MSN chat so he can chat with his GF. UGHHHHHHHH. Not happy. But I love him, and I will monitor his every move on his computer.

Tommorrow, DH is hopefully going to test run his new racecar. I went to the Body Shop tonite, and he and his employees, were all standing around it wondering what was wrong. They fired the engine for the 1st time since it was dropped in the car. It is making a noise, they think transmission. I heard a few cuss words, so I left and came home to the treadmill. He came home and has said little since. Not sure what all that means.

Have a great weekend. I hope everyone's is filled with joyful plans of whatever they want. Happy Mother's Day, to all the mom's out there.

Sandi

It sucks to be me sometimes. I am feeling incredibly happy and at peace.And I feel guilty.Is is "bad" to be happy that my boys are not home?
DS left right from school for a Bday party and DH is going to a friends straight from work. DD and I will go to gymnastics. There will be no drama.I will make some lentil soup and cut up veggies for supper. Nice and light. Hardly any dishes.
I still haven't heard from the family and maybe I wont. I feel really relieved that I had my say but worry a bit about what they think and are saying behind my back. Maybe they just dont care.
I took 5 kids to the play group, came home and made 5 stepping stones with concrete and glass beads, fed them lunch and a couple napped. I cut grass for an hour and then had a glorious soak in the tub. I feel envigorated and calm and clean. And there is a little niggling at the back of my mind saying I shouldn't be this happy. Go Away little voice.

This was last night. DS came home had an exhausted post party fit. DD puked in the middle of the night DH was an *******. I woke to DS whining at me about something arg!!! They are soooo annoying sometimes.
I did have a good sleep, regardless.
It rained over night so I think I will paint this morning and then go to London and then rake this aft.

Holly--same thing here. DH and DS are teaching/taking Hunter's Safety, DH says to me, "what are you going to do with all the "free-time" you will have on your hands 3x a week while they are out til 9:30-10pm? I haven't done A THING. I am for ONCE putting myself first. If I want to read, I read, If I want to soak in tub, I will, if I want to do nothing but sit in my formal living room that is too girly for them and do nothing I did. And I did feel guilty about it, but have since gotten over it. I think we need to pamper ourselves and let go of so much of that guilt. I have a big problem with guilt. My priest laughs at me in confession, and says to me, " Sandi, some of these ARE NOT sins, but just your guilt. You have to let it go. Do you think that my Hubby/Son, are stressed out and feeling quilty? I assure you they are NOT". I am taking that as they don't confess anything I worry about. So, I am letting go. Try it, you are on a good start. HIP HIP HORRAY.
Wish I could see the stones you and DD are making. I am jealous. With you and your drama about your family, and mine with my family, you and I could be Best Freinds. If we lived closer I see us as inseperable. Happy Weekend.
Love to you today.
Sandi

Been to the lawyer's
whoosh....I was fine when I was there but when I got into my van I shook.

I talked for an hour and a half giving my statement about my conversations with B about his relationship with his mother. They were from last spring.Clear as a bell for me except he was alive then and now he is not. I feel compassion for this woman BUT I also know his wishes. It is a long convoluted story but I KNOW for certain giving this afidavit is the right thing. Lots of thought and prayer has gone into it.
Emotional. Sad.
I stopped at Grandma’s and took her some flowers for mother’s day. She asked me why I wasn’t at the folks with everyone else. Apparently my Aunt, sister,her hubby and son are at my parents for dinner for mother’s day. It hurt’s. I’d rather be here, but still.
DH is still very unhappy and is gone for the night to try and get his $$ from that builder and then go and hang out with his bro.
Rough morning with DS.Some effective behaviour modification and tada! He is out for the aft with friends. DD is quite sick. Has the runs now. Weak.
My plans for the day are all shifted around. It is simply gorgeous outside but she is laying down and wants me close. So I am doing some much needed cleaning instead of gardening. Bummer.

I am feeling sad.I think I will go hug my little girl.

Sandi, I really needed to hear that right now, HUG!!!!

The sunlight is streaming through the trees and the dew on the grass is twinkling.Yellow tulips are smiling at me.Kitty is rubbing against my legs.All is quiet and peaceful and my coffee tastes delish!!!!


I have decided that the time without the boys has been a gift and I need to to receive it. DH was gone over night and Ds was out all aft and eve.
DH left mad as heck but I called him a couple of hours later and he was chatty and calm and then he called me at 9pm to tell me where he was at. He is in a better place and was hanging out with an old roomie we haven’t seen in a couple of years.I chatted with him too.
DS went 4 wheeling and hung out at the crick and tried to catch minnows and crayfish. Happy little man.
I have the house tidied and well sorted ,dusting and vacuuming today. DD seems better.
Church this morning. Then hopefully some gardening!! Raking at least. It is exercise too!!
I loved sleeping alone with kitty, just like the old days. I wonder if kitty was thinking wow this used to be so cool! LOL!
I set my alarm for 6:30 to be up and alone.Kids will sleep til 7:30.
I ate most of a frozen pizza for supper last night. It was enjoyable but too much. The rest of the day was okay.
Because DD was sick, it was the first time in 9 years I only cooked for myself.
For the 15 years before that I only ever cooked for myself and the 5 years before that I cooked all the family meals at my parents house. I just did the math. I have been cooking dinner for 29 years. Yikes. I love doing it. I actually dont remeber ever feeling like I didn’t want to do it.

I cant wait to see the cards the kids made at school. Much sneaking and hiding has been going on.
I sent my Mom an e card. I will call later, I suppose.

Have a wonderful day dear chicks!!!!!

Hello All,
Finally a chance to catch up, well sort of. I just got through reading all the posts. Thank you to all of you who share your struggles and advances here. I'm not just talking about the weight struggles, but life...it helps me to see where I want to be and how to get there.

I know it's important for me to deal with those types of things for I am truly an "emotional" eater. I use food with both good and bad emotions. Good ones I use food to boost that feeling, bad emotions, I use food to cover up those feelings.

I had a talk with my boss on Friday and he's going to get me some help. He said that he had already looked into things and the numbers show that I was handling 1 1/2 more claims than the Eastern Region. They have interviewed someone for the West and while we are waiting for that person to come on bored and start training them, my boss is having the eastern claims rep take on some of my claims. I'm grateful, because it was taking up my whole life!

The next bump I'm getting over is school. Just 5 more weeks and then I'll have the summer time to myself. That should help a great deal.

I've been losing and gaining the same 5 lbs since the beginning of the year and it's important to me to get over these 5 lbs and back in the race for 199.

I'm not waiting until the next 5 weeks are up. No..I'm getting right back in there...today! I've just made up my mind that "yes" that sugar will help me deal with an emotion, but it won't get me to where I want to be...taking a walk, doing some crunches, reading a magazine, writing a letter, breathing, will help me with the emotion and I'll be on track for my race to 199.

I'm ready again...really ready....

I hope all of you who are mothers have a wonderful mothers day. I wasn't given the privelage of having my own children, but rather I am loaned them from my friends and I am a "mother in my heart"..that's what my little 4 year old friend tells me. So, while this day always brings a bit of an empty feeling, I will celebrate that I have been loaned these other children and I will celebrate that.

I will post this week at least a couple of time. Please know that I'm thinking of you all and routing you on, and in five weeks you will see more of me, but for now it will be off and on. Please hold me accountable though..don't allow me to slip through the cracks. I've been "racing" along side you for so long now...I want to stay in the pack so we can all cross that finish line.

Susie

Good morning all!!! Tried catching up on some of the posts..

Hollyhock: just read a couple of your posts..love your description of the mornings...very calming for me!!

siouschef: you go girl!!! you dont do anybody any good if you dont care for yourself. ENJOY!!

choice2bfit: sounds like my you are bogged down with claims like my hsuband except his boss is a meanie! won't acknowledge that my husbands has twice as many claims (because he is the only one licensed to handle certain states), won't get anyone else licensed..so hubby's stress is my stress.

I'm glad you mentioned emotional eating...trying to overcome that..

But good news: my first week on WW behind me and I've lost 4.5 lbs! yay!!!

catch you all soon

Mother’s day was nice. Kids were happy. No squabbles.DH was happy. I was happy. Church was nice. I raked,weeded and seeded 1/2 of the front lawn from 10:30-4. It is looking lovely.
The work felt good. I am sun kissed and glowing.

Quiet evening.
I just heard a kiddie coming down the stairs. Now the work starts.

My monthly morning weigh in was 228.....still up 3 from Feb but down 1 from last week. The right direction!!!!


Called my Mom yesterday. She was all cheery, telling me about her perfect little weekend,after a half hour I asked if she got my email. she said hesitantly ,"well, yes.
I,I,I, I dont want to be involved. It has been this way for 5 years.There is nothing I can do to change it.” My Aunt did call her accusing that she had told my parents 3 years ago about some work that was needed to be done. Never asked for help tho........ My Dad apparently asked my Mom what he should do and she told him to just forget about it. I may call my Dad. It is his Mom after all.He does care.

Anyhow I have a philosophical discussion going on in my head about the intent and energy something is done with. My grandma is very well cared for. If the care is done with negativity and bitterness is it a good as if it is done with love and affection?
My feeling is no but the rest of my family disagrees.

Good morning, everyone. The weekend weather here in Illinois was beautiful. I spent most of it inside, watching movies, reading, checking email etc....all this in absense of DH. He came back last night and it was nice for him to be back...although I enjoyed the two nights of sleeping alone with my cats without his snoring :)

I did make it to the gym both Saturday and Sunday, and with softball on Friday, that was three days of exercise in a row...which I see very rarely these days. I hope to make it again at least 2-3 times this week. I'm feeling it, and feeling good...I love getting off of that machine all sweaty and having whooped some @ss!
I did the elliptical for 30 minutes on Saturday and 55 minutes yesterday...working my way up to an hour again.

DH has an interview - I'm so excited, it's the first and only job he has applied for before graduating. It's a federal job...wish him luck all!

Hope everyone is well. I'm having a frozen meal for lunch here at work. It's not a lean cuisine, it's pretty high in calories, a pasta dish. I have eaten half and I think I'm going to throw the rest away and find a snack. We have pretzels, snackwells cookies and granola bars in the snack machine. This dish isn't good and eating it wouldn't be right since it won't satisfy me, nor does it taste very good.

Holly,
Don't feel too bad about the pizza. You were caught off guard with having to cook for one, and at least you didn't eat the whole thing :) Today is a new day. Perhaps it would be a good idea to get a couple of Lean Cusine pizzas - they are pretty good, and those would be on hand for you in case this situation happens again :) I got a couple of them for over the weekend because I knew I'd want "comfort" foods. I noticed that the Lean Cusines have categories for their foods now - like hearty classics, and "comfort foods" - of course, pizza is under that one. Interesting.

Spores,
Have you tried weight watchers? It's structured, but it's not...you have choice within certain boundaries. I should get back into it myself. They also have a no counting plan that is basically a list of all the foods you can eat and all of your choices should be within that range/portion size for the day...it's basically a low-carb type diet.

Susie,
Hope you are feeling better about work and life in general.

Holly,
Your weekend sounds nice. I hope the situation gets resolved with your family. I've been messing with the same 5 pounds since January as well. We've gotta get this going.

Chocolate:
Congrats on the loss!!!

Sandi:
I'm with ya on the confession thing. Isn't it funny how we do that to ourselves? Guilt ourselves out?

Have a great day, ladies!

Girlie

Sandi: Yes, the danger of an eating plan is that it is easy to go back to old habits without that strict authority. I too want to take control for me. I love carbs too! I am trying to switch to whole grains instead of refined stuff as a start.

Holly: Oh, I know what you mean about feeling guilty for feeling happy! I think we all get so tangled up in doing stuff for other people that we have a hard time giving ourselves permission to be happy to be alone. You deserve some alone time! No guilt necessary – just enjoy it! Like Sandi says, we have to learn to priortize ourselves. Not one of us here gained the weight be being selfish – we gained it by always putting other people first.

Susie: Glad to hear work is starting to get sorted out. You deserve a breather! Good for you for re-committing now and not putting it off for the future. You can do this, and you can do this even in the midst of stress and chaos. You have it in you!

Chocolatecatz: Congrats on the loss! Sounds like you are doing very well. Keep it up!

Girlie: Good for you on the exercise! I have thought about Weight Watchers, but am not sure I want to spend the money. But maybe it would at least help me get a jump on things. I am wallowing in a slumpt these days. Your softball team sounds like fun. Is it through work or a gym or what? How are you guys doing?

Well, I did poorly on food and exercise all week, and then I weighed this morning and ws down 3 lbs from last week. How weird is that? I hate that I can never give myself credit for success – I always doubt it, or it never seems like enough. But I am going to try to let myself feel good about this. Even if it’s just all water weight or my scale is bonkers, it is progress in the right direction. This week is the last of school (hooray!), but I will be left with lots of unstructured time, which can be a bad thing. I tend to lapse into laziness and depression when I am not constantly occupied with other things. I am going to focus on exercising this week. If I can get in a few workouts, I will feel more motivated.

Hope everyone’s Monday is going well!

Good Evening Ladies,

My boys are taking the Hunter's Safety Test tonite. DH is glad it is the last nite. Cutting into his racecar time. I am glad he and son had had this time together. Besides, I have really enjoyed the time off, and the "alone" time. Weekend was nice, weather wise, it rained, but did manage to get up early both days, and walked Maggie Jane, over 2.5 miles each day. I was happy, and felt good afterwards.

Spores--glad school is coming to an end for you too. I know the stress that can be, I am taking some classes over the summer, and of course have 2 workshops I am going to take on Autism, so that will keep me busy. My company really needs someone here to get things shaped up a bit. (I hope the staff will see it that way too. I am lucky to have good people), so I can still teach. I am going to try switching to whole grains. I just count carbs, never really thinking of the grains. I will read some labels. PSSSTTTT---be happy for the loss of 3 pounds. Take it as a gift, and enjoy it.

Mychoice2bfit-- emotional eating, I think we all suffer from that don't you? I think somewhere, sometime, we have found comfort in food, instead of relationships, and have not put ourselves in a category of being first. We friend, are forever trying to make people happy, at our own cost. Mother's Day, I loved your insight on that. My son has adopted a lady next door, who is 82. She is his "great" Mom. He sees her a few times a week, and when he was younger would tell her all his woes. If anything ever happens to Esther, our lives would be soooo sad. She is lovely and caring to him, and he just thinks the world of her. If I come home sometimes, and he isn't here, I will call over there to see if she knows where he is, and lo and behold, he is with her. I am grateful, to have such a caring person help love and mold my son.

Holly--Glad to hear some things are a bit better. I still don't know the whole story about Grandmother, but your statement "If the care is done with negativity and bitterness is it a good as if it is done with love and affection?" is quite the thought provoker. For you, I would think definately no. But most people are in such denial about many things, and maybe your family is also. Not sure. I do know this, your caring ways, it would be bothersome to you. You can only do what YOU have control over, and you never should compromise your thoughts, feelings, or words, for anyone, if it is not what you truly hold in your heart. Your grandmother sometime, will see that this is true, if she doesn't already. Also, your family will have to answer for this. Maybe not today, or tommorrow, but trust me, we all have to be accountable. Do what YOU can do, and be who YOU want to be. Don't let someone's negativity hold you back. ((((((HUGS)))))) to you. This is rough. Hope a rainbow comes your way soon.

Choc. catz-- WAHHHOOOOOOO, down with WW. Great job!!

Girlie-- I am going to have to try an eliptical. I still haven't gotten over to do that. Dang, you are whoopin it. I am soooo proud of you. I did 45 on my treadmill yesterday evening, and I was so proud of my self. I started first week in March, going only 15min a time. Now I do it twice a day, and the least is 35. I am trying to walk Maggie at least once, and do the treadmill once a day. My shins are killing me. So, I am not really sure what is causing that? I went to see the trainer at school, who works with the highschool kids. He gave me some advice, and it is helping. Great job!! You inspire me. Saying prayer tonite to St. Joseph. He is the Patron Saint of Husbands, and Providers. I hope the job goes well. Good luck.

Weigh-in is tommorrow. Wish me luck. Rainy today, and tommorrow, so recess is indoors. YUCK.

Love to all
Sandi

Good morning all,
I will be brief this am. I have to work today and didn't set the alarm early enough. Sounds like everyone had a great w-end and Mothers Day. I'm still op. I weight in yesterday and I'm down 4lbs.


Sandi: great job walking... I'm glad to hear Maggie Jane is up to walking again.

Spore: CONGRATS!!! 3lb down.. WAY COOL... Tackling one change at a time is easier to become comfortable with. I'm fond of brown rice and wild rice, But it took a while to get used to it. Now I don't even consider white rice. It just takes time.

Girlie: good luck to dh on job..

Holly: I bet your yard does look wonderful. Ours does till mid july. Then it gets so hot everthing dies. We water but it's never enough. I hope everthing settles down with your family. Stress can be so damaging.

Chocolate: WOW!!.. Fantastic loss 4.5 lbs Now thats a real moral booster... Good Job.

Susie: Welcome back. I'm a long ways from 199. But I really enjoy all the company getting there.


Everyone have a blessed day.

Good morning everyone.
I quite pleasantly dont have much to say! Good day yesterday. Good sleep. Good morning so far!!!
Supposed to get rain today which will water the grass seed I planted!

Spores~ have you looked into holistic exercises etc for the TMJ? If you are losing then you are doing something well. Embrace the success!!!!!!

Sandi~ I am on School Council but it is general. we have 300 kids in the whole school.
I LOVE being a part of it tho.Thanks for teh time and thought you give my ramblings. I aapreciate the feedback. My Grandma is aware of the negativity and thinks it is a joke(water off her back) I guess I wonder more abut it on a deeper level. I realize most people dont think this way. I do know that I wont and never have played along with the "rules" of engagement in my family because it hurts my heart.I am okay with all of this. I put it out there and however it ends up is okay with me.
What I do know is I dont have to drink a bottle of wine every evening to get to sleep to quiet the voice in my head.My inner voice is usually quite peaceful.

Susie~ I have noticed that I buy "treats" for the kids and I truly believe at the time that is what I am doing , then I eat it at night. So now I am asking. Who is this really for?
I have always had a close relationship with an older woman who never had kids. She is a dear, dear friend and w will always share a special bond. These relationaships are WONDERFUL for everyone involved.

Ccatz~congrats on the loss!!! A great success.

JODI&ANNIE DO CHECK IN!!!!!!!!

Debbie~ had to go out for the bus..... You are doing great,losing steadily. 4 lbs is fantastic!!!!!!!!!!

Sandi: Wow, I can’t believe you walk twice a day! That is impressive. Maybe that’s why your shins are hurting. I think we tend to forget to stretch the muscles there (I don’t even know what they’re called!). Stretch stretch! And maybe read up on shin splints – I don’t know much about them, but I think they can be a problem with walking a lot. Thanks for the words of encouragement; I need to claim my success!

Debbie: Glad to hear you’re doing well op!

Holly: I have not heard of holistic TMJ exercises. I’ll have to google tht and see what comes up. My dentist suggested putting a hot washcloth on my face at night, but all it does is get me wet. Glad things are going better for you today.

So yesterday I had a funny setback. I dragged myself onto the treadmill and managed to get going at a pretty good clip and all of a sudden BAM! the power goes out and the treadmill stops! I just about broke my neck! The power came back on in a few minutes, so I started walking again, but about ten minutes later, off it went again! I decided I’d better stay off the treadmill for the rest of the day. So when BF came home, I asked him to take a walk with me, and it was very nice. We walked and chatted and enjoyed the beautiful weather. I am so glad I did that instead of getting frustrated and giving up.

Also, I had stopped recording my food because I ran out of pages in my journal. So yesterday I broke out my FitDay software and started using it! It’s been fun, and I’m glad I didn’t just give up.

Hope everyone is doing well this day!

Arrgh!
 

Dagnabit, I hit a weird key and just lost a lengthy catch-up post. Let's see if I can remember...

Debbie, Spores, Chocolate and whoever else is losing: :bravo:

Holly, I'm so sorry to know that you have to deal with family shi-stuff. Nobody can cut you to the quick as well as your loved ones, right? I know that you won't let somebody else's pettiness get to you.

Sandi--I've been moping around with shin splints for over a week now. My calves are really strong, but I'm not good about stretching the front of my legs, and I really stepped up my walking this past month. This has happened to me before, so I cut back on the long walks, ice my shins and whine a lot.

Girlie, you sound like you're doing great :cb: Susie, I hope you're having a good day.

My TOM weight came and went last week, hooray, and I should be able to post a lost this weekend, despite not going to the gym much (shins hurt like the dickens) or doing a lot physically. I'm back to my normal eating plan, now that the hormonal craving for sweets is gone, and my social life has slowed up a bit. On Friday I have a job interview that I feel really good about. Even if I don't get (or want) this job, I'm happy thinking that by mid-summer I'll have a different job situation. This year has been filled with stupid stress--as opposed to productive, adrenaline-rush stress. I don't intend to let this happen to me again.

Sorry to be gone so long. Keep up the good work, ladies!

judy

Hey everyone,
I've messed around this am and don't have time for much. Just wanted to wish everyone a great day. I've stayed op, except I did't make it to curves yesterday. I plan to go this am. If I get the move on. I'll do personals later. Off to the shower....

BIG HUGS TO ALL

I sat down and couldn't get up!
That was me last night. Everybody and their brother has been cutting grass out here since the weekend. Lots of pollen floating around.My head is foggy!!!
Good day yesterday. Took the kids bike riding in town after supper. Met another family and the Mom and I walked. There is no place to walk or ride here so I toss the bikes in the van and go to town.
I sat down to watch Idol and didn’t get off the couch till 11.It was restful to say the least. I did gather the trash for this morning.


Finished the revision on the handbook but my printer bunged up, arg! Council meeting tonight.
Only 3 little people today. All of them nap in the aft!!!!!
I ate icecream last night.
It was steamy and humid all day but we didn’t get the rain. I wanted it for my grass seed. Sunny and clear today.
Might do some weeding.
I will do yoga!!!!!!

Have a funky day!!!!

Judy: Glad to see you back, and glad to hear things are going pretty well. Yikes, sorry to hear about the shins. Take care of yourself!

Debbie: Good luck making it to Curves this morning! Go go go!

Holly: Good luck at the council meeting. You do so much amazing stuff!

Yesterday I surprised myself. I had expected to work 8:30 to 4:30, but the evening person called in sick, and my boss asked me to work 8:30 to noon, then come back and do 3:00 to close. I thought I would spend those three hours off eating lunch and messing around on the computer, which I did, but I also got my walk in! Usually I would use the extra work hours as an excuse not to exercise, and I am so pleased I managed to overcome that habitual thinking.

Unfortunately, I turned right around and ate junk for dinner. Chipotle AND Dairy Queen! Bad idea. But here’s a cool thing: This fitday software I’ve been using is pretty detailed. You enter what you eat and what activity/exercise you do, and it calculates all kinds of stuff for you, including this neat graph that shows calories consumed versus calories burned. Now, usually after a fast food binge, I am all discouraged and the week goes downhill from there. But I diligintly entered my fast food naughtiness into fitday, and even though I was WAY over on the calories I’d planned to eat, my calories consumed were still under (barely) my calories burned. It really allowed me to see in black and white (well, blue and pink, really) that falling off the plan does not mean some horrible failure that can never be rectified.

I’ve been feeling quite positive all week (I know, it’s only Wednesday, but still). Maybe it’s because school is out. Maybe it’s because I have started taking a multi-vitamin with plenty of B-6 and B-12. I dunno. But I’m feeling good about it. Thanks to all of you for your support!!

Spores~ ride that wave!!!!!!!

hello chicks!!
no i didn't drop off the face of the earth. i have been spending all of my used to be computer time puttering around outside. by the time i come in the house at night i am bushed! i have parts of the garden planted, weeds are semi under control. the pond is running smoothly and the fish are very happy once again. i had a really BAD week last week eating like a crazed woman. TOM came and i am better now, thankfully moving my butt around a little more helped keep the gain to a minimum. i am doing so far so good this week, taking the best care of me that i can. still busy with baseball and softball games most days after work, fun but time consuming. i really feel like i have been neglecting you all i am sorry. i think of you all very often! i hope the moms all had a nice mothers day, i did. we just puttered around all day. my dd made breakfast and dh made dinner. very nice day!

holly- sorry to hear the family is giving you a hard time. hope it all gets sorted out soon.

spores- good for you walking when the dreadmill gods kept cutting off your power! ROFL keep making good choices!!!

girlie- keep up the good work girl! good luck to DH with the job!! how's softball going?

judy- good luck with the weigh in! sorry to hear about your shins! take it easy!!

debbie- great job!!! keep up the good work!

mychoice- good for you getting some help at work!! i hope sunday was nice for you we are all mothers at heart! the little ones in your life are very lucky to have a special friend like you! i too have gained and lost the same 5lbs for way too many months!! heck i could of been done by now if i could just keep at it. the race is still on! we are going to make it!! stay positive!!!

madcatz- you rock!!! great loss keep with it!!
i have a feeling that i missed someone if i did sorry! big hugs to all!! have a great week!!!
xoxox

Hello Everyone,
It's been a very busy week, but I've not been crazy with it! I've left work all this week by 5:15 pm. Yeah for me!

I haven't gotton in much exercise this week. Only 2 days, but I've got to remember I told myself for the next 5 weeks until school is out, I am only accountable for 3 days of working out, and 3 days of posting. If I get more..great..but somewhere I have to keep that balance.

Hoping for good things at the scales tomorrow night.

Holly: Did you get the thing your were working on printed out? I can't wait until someday when you are a famous writer and all of us "Race" girls come to your book signing.

Debbie: You are doing so well! I'm so happy and proud of you.

Spores: Great job with the fitday and the exercise...keep making those little changes..you are working on a lifestyle here..so they count!

Judy: I hope all goes well with the new job.

Ladies, it's storming here and my Dh is freaking out because I'm on the computer.

Got to run!
Susie

Good morning everyone,
I did fair on food Yesterday til dinner. I made fried chicken, And I ate 2 pieces. I
had a very active day so maybe it won't be so bad. I also love fit day. I keep up with it for a few days then forget about it for a while. I'm going to try again.
Very busy day today. I'll get plenty of activity.

Susie: Take time to take care of yourself. I hope the storm wasn't too bad.
We can have really rough weather in the spring.

Jodi: great to hear you are doing so well. keep in touch.

Spores: Yea!! Keep up the great work.

Holly, Sandi, chocolatecat, and Judy:
Hellllooo.
I just saw how late its gotten I have to
be ready to leave in a few minutes.
Have a great day

I emailed the handbook to the principal and he printed it. I want to thank everyone for their concern about the family woes. It is really okay. I talk about it here because they are one of those niggly things that are in my head, that if I dont let it out it eats at me.It is not the biggest thing in my life.
Our glorious principal is retiring this year and our new principal was at the meeting last night. She seemed very keen and interested. She has been offering to come to school events from now till the end of the year!!!!!!
She wants to call me and discuss the handbook. Cool.
She had good hair and funky jewellery(LOL).Her name is Vivianne(thats cool too) I liked her a lot.

I ate comfort food yesterday(again).sigh.

Gotta feed the boy. Have a good day.

Holly: Thanks for the encouragement!!

Jodi: Glad to see you! Glad your gardens are sprouting; it can be so nice to get out into the dirt. Keep up the grat attitude – you’ll nip that gain in no time.

Susi: Glad work is calming down. Good for you for the 2 days of exercise. You have succeeded right there! Don’t get discouraged – you’re on the right track.

Debbie: Hope your active day is going well. Don’t feel too bad about the fried chicken – today is a new day!

Well, ate badly last night at dinner, but am back on track today. Found out last night that BF has high cholesterol! Yikes! He is awfully young to have any health concerns; we’re not even 30 yet! And his dad was just diagnosed with colon cancer, so he is rather worried about his health. Poor guy. I really want to help him with this and be supportive. No more french fries and cheeseburgers. I am going to really commit to cooking healthy low-fat meals and not giving in to fast-food cravings. It’s funny, I am terrible at doing that for myself to lose weight, but now that it’s a concern for him, I don’t think I’ll have much trouble. It’s funny how easy it is to do things for other people, but when it’s just for me, I balk. We are going to start walking together too. I’m rather excited at the thought of doing this whole healthy/active thing with him. In the past I have not wanted to bother him with it (not that he would mind), and I felt shy and self-conscious about it. But the prospect of doing it together, as a team, makes it so much less daunting. I just want him to be healthy; and me too, of course.

Good morning,
I just realized when I was typing that it was Friday the 13th!! Makes me want to go and rent the movie.

I had my TOPS weigh-in last night. I was down .25 lbs...not much..but I'll take it.

I've got a busy weekend. My family reunion is tomorrow, and it's suppossed to rain. We are having it at the local park. At least we have a shelter house. I just hope the whole day isn't a wash out.

I also have a take home Accounting test. I know that sounds easy, but it isn't. The problems take a long time to work out, that's why she lets us take them home. The last test took me 4 hours to complete.

My TOPS group put out a challenge for next weeks weigh-in that we have all losses. The last two weeks have not been good for us. So, that's the challenge. We are calling it, all in the black...meaning that the weight recorder will not have to use her red pen. So, I need to work hard on that this weekend.

Holly: That's great about the handbook.

Spores: I'm really excited about you and BF being able to work on this healthy lifestyle together. I think it will be a big help to you.

Jodi: I missed responding to your post the other day. You should take a picture of all your gardening for us. I'm starting to get interested in it. I"m not much of an "outside" chore person, but I'm starting to like to look at flowers and such and I think to myself, I should just try that. I did some planters last summer and will be doing some more. My Father-in-law loves to garden and plant, so he's helping me.

Debbie, Girlie, Judy...and anyone else I'm missing....hope you are all doing well.

Ok..ladies...got to run.

I won't be around much this weekend. Hopefully I'll make it here on Sunday.
Susie

What am I stuffing down?????
I have been eating things like icecream mid aft and again before bed.I made roast beef, potatoes and gravy the other night. Definitely comfort food. As with anything it is never simple or any one single thing. Physically it is allergies. This is the worst time of year for me. Meds help but I drag and I get a little down. I just plain dont have my usual energy. In the evenings all I can do is lay down and rest by about 9pm.
I feel frustrated. I think I am craving carbs for the energy. If I was thinking I would grab some fresh veg!
It makes me sad that my family does not value me. As a parent I can not imagine not going all the way no matter what it was my kids needed.I dont make it about me and as exhausting as it is I never dont want to be the best parent I can. My son is a royal pain in the ***. I cant imagine thinking, saying or behaving as if it was too hard to be his parent. That was my childhood. AND i was not as difficult as my son.
Breaks my heart.
So 40 years into this life I still have underlying feelings of ......... something. Loneliness. Disappointment. Why am I so hard to love?......
The upside is that I am true to myself, totally love myself, deeply loved by hubby and my kids, loved by the friends who matter......................it is good balance.

Anyhow those are today’s thoughts. I will give them wings and not eat icecream for lunch today!!!

Hello Ladies....

I have missed so much I cannot possibly do personals, however I read every one of them. You all sound great. Even the negative isn't that negative. Congrats to all.

I was sick last week with the URI, ear infection, and sinus, missed one day at my new job. I hated that. I felt guilty but was truly sick. This week has been better, however have ate like a pig, and am starting to oink.

Did not make it to TOPS last week, was sick, and this week I had my standing hair appt., which I got moved from Tuesday to Thursday, so I won't miss anymore TOPS meetings. A little scared to step on the scales, for fear of failure. I can tell it will be bad cause my panties don't fit me well.

Anyway, all have a wonderful weekend.

Hugs Annie

Annieeeeeee!!!! missed you. You have til next Tues to pull it together. Start right now!!!!

Hello everyone...I'm SO sorry for being so...well, gone!
Today has been kinda crazy. Computer crashes, billing and I accepted a job offer...

...so the next two weeks are going to be crazy with trying to roll over my projects and duties to someone else and getting everything updated and ready to transition.AHHH

BUt I start vacation on May 25th, and will be gone until June 4th...then I start my new job on June 6th.

Very eventful and stressful yet exciting. I just keep thinking...two weeks from today, I'll be in rural Virginia, enjoying the mountains, the small town and southern home cooking....GULP...did I say that?!!!!

Our computer crashed at home as my husband was working on his final paper to graduate from grad school...so, I doubt I'll be able to update at all this weekend.

So have a great weekend all, and I'll post on Monday.

girlie

Hi, I've just joined up and I'd love to be 199 sometime soon! I'm trying to focus on getting fit and eating more fresh fruit and veg rather than following any particular plan. I'm just about able to run 5km now, so I'm hoping to keep that up to get the weight falling off. It's worked so far, so I'm hoping I can keep it up!

Welcome YP1!!!!! You are doing great!!!!!!!!

To the Dump, the dump the dump,dump dump.........
Spring cleanup day!!!!! The trailer is full for trip 1! I am feeling all the bunged up karma flowing away!!!!! Weeeeeeeee

Going to get my hair done...ALONE! DD is at a sleepover DS is hanging out with Daddy!!!!!!!!!!
Rainy day. I got lots of cleaning done yesterday. More today. Paint those darn stairs.
Had a big long sleep.
I didn’t eat icecream for lunch but I did eat WAY too much bread. One step forward. Another one today.

GIRLIE!!!!! wow and yeah!!!!!!!!!

Have a groovy day chicks!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Morning Ladies,

Boy I have been swamped with school. Late nights getting ready for the last week. 4 school days and counting. It snowed this morning in ND, and my tulips look awful chilly out there.
Weigh-in was Tues. didn't lose, didn't gain. I was bummed. But, I do know I am responsible for that. Last week, was Educators week, and for some reason, administration thinks we would all LOVE food in the teachers lounge EVERYDAY. So, needless to say, nibble nibble, and no weight loss. :devil:

I have missed all of you, and thought I would get to post, so now it is going to take forever to do personals. I will try.

Holly- YOU are loved, valued, and respected. I hope you can take that to heart, and just mark off the other day as a YUCKY day. :grouphug:

Welcome YPI, you will love it here. We are a great support staff and we have great listening ears. Welcome to the Race.

Girlie--Congrats on new job. I am thrilled for you. Bravo

Annie, glad you are back. I have wondered about you. Sorry about your illness, that is no fun.

MyChoice2bfit-- congrats on the loss, any loss is better than a gain. Take it and be thrilled as it was 3 #.

Spores, sorry about your BF family and his cholestrol. You both will inspire each other and be strong when one is not. That is wonderful. Have fun

Hi Debbie- I've used fitday, and i find it cumbersome. I need to take some time and really try to get it to work easier.

justjodi--isn't that the way TOM can be. Last month, I grabbed a small choc. bar, and put it in the jacket pocket that I wear out to recess. It is there still, however, I put there because I wanted to eat it. I knew it was always going to be there, and I have been fine knowing if I want it, it was there. It is still in my pocket a week later, and I am just at peace somedays knowing if I want it, it is there. very weird I know. Obsessive/Compulsion?

Ladies, have a good weekend. Get love, rest and whatever else you need.

We aren't going racing this weekend. It snowed, so we are going to go into Grand Forks, and just do some errands. I'll check in soon.
Love Sandi

Hi, thanks for the welcomes. I'm 3lb down on last saturday, unfortunately last Sunday was a freakily low weight and I ill advisedly took that as my weigh in instead of Saturday (the vanity of it) so based on that measurement I've stayed the same over the week. Still, it's better than gaining.

I've been running and swimming this morning, have just done a bit of light gardening (mowing the lawn) and will probably go for a walk later so I'm feeling very virtuous. The fridge is full of fruit and veggies too, although that doesn't necessarily mean I'll eat them all...

Dear Chicks,
I need you very much right now. I am very angry, relieved ,happy, sad and I want to hug my Grandma.
I definitely know what I have been “stuffing down”.

I received an email form my Aunt and I have replied. It is sooo over.
Here it is. Needing a collective hug in a huge way!!!

H,( this is from the Aunt)
Although I was not going to respond to your emails from last Sunday and Tuesday, I have decided that there are a few things that you need to know.

I will respond firstly, to your Tuesday message.
Perhaps you need to pay attention to your own words of advice and “Do” rather than just “Dish out.” I think, if you went to take a course on caring for the elderly, the very first lesson would probably be that a must is to be very discrete when a person has confided in you.
As far as communicating, I think that has been done.

I will comment on your Sunday email even though I am still almost too angry to do so.
I cannot believe that you were so cruel and inconsiderate of your Grandmother when you wrote all of her business to more than me. How could you do this to someone that you care so much about? If I choose to show her or read to her your email, it would kill her. All this to get at me? The whole email was pretty well irrelevent to anything I said or asked you. I am aware what you do. I am aware of what B does. I am aware of what I do as well. Besides these things that are done on a regular basis, there are other things that need doing. They have been mentioned to you and others and have not been done. The 3 things that I talked about in the email to you were what I did in 2 days(not a week). They were looking after cleaning curtains, arranging for a painter, and cleaning the basement. The only one you may not have known about was the basement. I thought I was doing you a favour by asking you to look at some poles rather than just throw them out. I thought maybe I was doing you a favour by putting them out for you if you did not want them. Apparently not. If you did not understand what I was talking about, would it not have been more appropriate to be in touch with ME to find out what I was talking about?

I am at a stage in my life where I have to look after my own health and have decided that it is time to make some changes. I am just not finding it in my heart to forgive you for what you did to your Grandma. I have also decided that, after about 30 years of taking verbal abuse from you, I am not doing it any more. I have so many friends both young and older who care about me, respect me and don’t really think that I am all that bad. You seem to be able to dish out abuse and then tomorrow is a new day and it is all over. For me, it takes longer to get over the hurt. I have tried to do so to keep peace in the family. I have decided that I am not doing it any more. For now, at least, I do not want to have you in my life. I would appreciate it if you didn’t contact me in any way. I love your children and will continue to support them. I know that it may be difficult at times to be in the same building but you can just ignore me. I have not told Grandma what you wrote, but have told her that you wrote some pretty awful words and sent them out to many people. I also told her that I do not want anything to do with you.

My advice to you would be to be careful about what you write about other people and send out all over. One day you may find it gets you into a lot of trouble. M.

and from me........

Well, that must feel good. I think it is the first time you have ever been honest with me in 40 years. I am quite relieved.
You have accused me of the very same things you have done so I guess it is a draw.(projection?).
I ,unlike you, have nothing to hide from you, Grandma or anyone in my life. I emailed concerned family members, whom you have alienated with your negativity.This is about Grandma’s care and certainly my father needs to know these things. Everyone has had to listen to you for years and has bad feelings about it. It is better in the open.You have NOT communitcated what has needed to be done clearly to anyone!

I was not trying to get at you.I dont play those kinds of games. I was trying to let everyone know that you cant handle it and they need to wake up and step in.

My children do not need your love or support. We are a family unit and come as a whole package. Besides, if you were never capable of loving and supporting me, how can you possible give that to my kids? They are a part of me too.
I also, have many people in my life who love and appreciate me. You will not be missed.

Funny, I have been forgiving you and turning the other cheek all my life. Amazing, that a wise, educated, Christian person like yourself can’t do the same.

We may be on an even playing field now, but ask yourself, how fair was it to to be petty and cruel to a young child and teen? You are 22 years older than me and you were an adult, I was an innocent child.

I do like and admire some things about you. I have genuinely tried( for years) to love you as part of this family.I have also been very forgiving and tried to understand you but it is hard when you are not open and honest with me and ALWAYS play games.

How can you say you love your Mother and say and do the things you do?? H

Holly, I'm so sorry that the drama continues. Here's a hug: :grouphug:

judy

Holly,

:grouphug: I am here for you. I know that confrontations are extremely painful.

It may be a little overwhelming right now, but don't lose track of your self, your goals, your ideas, and your sucess. YOU are strong, she apparently was a weak link. Let it go, get on track, and know you are supported and cared for here. As hard as it is, try not to pull other family members into this. They will see her for who she is on their own. More times than not, they (family) already knew it. :ziplip:

Sending a TON of love to you, :balloons:

Hopefully, tommorrow there will be NO rain.:rain:

Love to you
Sandi

Afternoon everyone,
Hope everyone is having a great sunday.
I've not done too well this week on my food. Bad choices. Still working on portion control. I know when I weigh in mon nite I'll be up. DARN IT!!!
Just been puttering around today. Did some light mending. Good grief.., I lead a dull life. I never have anything interesting to post.

Holly: BIG HUGS!! My prayers are with you. I hope you feel them. Embrace the loved ones you are close to. Know that you are loved and appreciated.
I only have one aunt living and she absolutly hates me and only because she hated my mother. If she had had her way I would not have been able to attend my father funeral. It still hurts to know how she feels. I have no parents, grandparents or aunts and uncles living except her. I have 1 sister and 1 brother. I'm the oldest.
So I hold my little family close.

YPI: WELCOME.. and CONGRATES on the loss.

Sandi: snow? It really makes you realize how far apart we are. I'm running my a/c. My tomato's are the size of golf balls. I've been thru ND several time and liked it alot, except for being in whiteout conditions a couple of times. (A truckers nightmare)
Fitday can be a real challenge. I've never heard of some of the food listed. I had to enter most of my own.

Girlie: I wish I was brave enough to try a new job. Mine is so deadend and
very low paying only plus is the working outdoors and the walking. And thats not a plus in August.

Judy, Annie, Susie and anyone else I missed: Hope you are all doing well.

Hello all…
I would like to join in if I may!?!

I have been on various threads over the past year of so and just saw this one and it fits for me! I was once up to 320, but lost about 80 some years ago…..now I find that when I don’t watch what I eat I fluctuate up to 245-250, but with diligence and work I can get it down to 235….but then seem to get stuck……I am 43 and I know age does not help!!!

Oh well, my goal is to get to 190…a weight I think I could live with…..I once was done to 130…but never could maintain that….I just want to be a comfortable weight, feel good about myself, and not to have to wear plus size clothes!!! Right now I am an XL, 1X, or 18-20, but would love to be a L or 16…doesn’t seem unreasonable does it???

Well like I said I am 43, single, no kids, just 3 cats. I work in education and am looking forward to some time off VERY soon!!!!

I am happy to join you!
Lilybutt

Welcome Lilybutt!! I am not always an emotional trainwreck!! LOL!

Thank you chicks. I adore you.
My emotions have been all over the place today. Swinging from extreme happiness to deep anxiety. Church this morning was very emotional and powerful for me. I am feeling incredibly close to my husband and children. I went to give my Grandma a perm today and was there for 3 hours. It was peaceful being there. I actually fell asleep when she was under the dryer. I feel sad but haven't put my finger on why. I am focussing on the positive things in my life, like you chicks, and the appreciation I get from our minister, and school principal for the work I do there.It seems that every time I let go of part of my past I find a new deeper connection with my husband. I love that.
This is the life I dreamed of as a little girl and the life I waited for and then fought for....dreams do come true. I will let my heart be filled with the blessings of my marriage and sweet babies.