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Old 03-17-2004, 09:00 AM   #76  
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Good morning!

I have been OP all week. Eating and drinking water, that is. It has been cloudy and raining, UGH, makes me lazy! Also I am not feeling well again. My stuffed up nose is back, coughing, not alot but enough to make me feel yucky. I am sure my sinus's are infected and won't be shocked if I have upper respiratory infection so I'll be going to the doctor this afternoon. I am hardly ever sick but just seem to keep getting one thing after another this past month.

Kathy, we have Spring Break April 5-9. The break will be nice, I just hope we have nice weather. It usually rains and we go through a couple of tornado warnings and bad storms, we can think of better things to do but that seems to be the Spring pattern around here.

Jordan now has himself a girlfriend. It is so funny to watch him try to secretly call her They have a Jr. High prom next month so I'm kind of excited about that. We are waiting to find out what color she will be wearing so we can get try to coordinate, I know that's spelled wrong! Anyway, we be renting a tux and I just don't think I'm ready for my child to be this grown up!!!!!!

Hi to Happy, Raven, and Chach

Have a great day!
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Old 03-17-2004, 12:13 PM   #77  
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Good morning ladies!

Well, tonight is weigh in night. For all my stressing I have come to a conclusion: One week every month I will probably not show a loss and might show a gain. It's just part of being a woman. I will try to overcome the bad food cravings, but if I only slip up by having a couple extra slices of pizza, than dang-it, that is wonderful compared to what I used to do! It's been over a month since I have had a candy bar and my only vice has been skinny cows. That's good compared to the Phish Food ice cream I used to eat on a semi-regular basis! I need to not beat myself up and realize I'm only human, not a weight loss machine that never has an off week.

Okay, did you all like my self pep talk? I am hoping for a one pound loss this week. That will put me at 10 pounds in a month,which is outstanding for me. I am only 6 pounds from my lowest in 10 years, so that is an accomplishment in and of itself!

Lucky: Did you get your wake up call this morning? I loved that! It's usually my hubby doing that to me, but lately I've looked forward to getting up and working out. How sick is that? SICK SICK SICK! I am loving the Gazelle. I really feel it all over, plus I can watch tv when I am doing it. I turn of the good videos and get moving. Helps me get in all the water also!

Happy: Sorry to hear of your family crisis. That's always hard, especially when there is nothing you can do but listen and hope the best for them. We are all here for you if you need to talk/vent/whine. Bulk up on coffee hopefully you will get a good night's sleep tonight.

Hippy: Sick again? Gosh, woman! Hopefully you will feel better soon. Sounds like you have done well this week, though. Wow, junior prom. How time flies, huh?

These next two days are going to be long for me. I am working 8-4:30, normal shift at work, but also instructing training classes at the jail from 10:00 pm-2:30 am each night. I will hopefully be off on Friday. If only I drank caffeine! I will try to stay OP with these weird hours. Might need to break out the regular Diet Coke for a little staying power!

Hi Raven!

Chach
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Old 03-17-2004, 07:23 PM   #78  
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Hey ladies,
Will try and catch up now tho I am sleep deprived and feeling quite gritty right now so if I don't make sense, don't laugh at me!

Chachee - oh man that schedule with working AND then teaching classes those hours sounds grueling. And I thought I'd be in a fog - don't see how you're going to get any restful sleep. Hopefully it's only for 2 days? I hear the new Diet Coke with lime is quite tasty. But you might need the mega caffine packed Mountain Dew I would have to agree with you completely about not letting a little pizza or water gain get to you. Heck, I think we weigh more when it's raining out! The scale is far more demotivating than motivating so I try to take a passive look at it. I think it's FANTASTIC that you swapped out Ben and Jerry's for Skinny Cows. You should be really proud of yourself. I can't see where we will be perfect in our routines every day. Sometimes we slip, sometimes we can't control it. The most important thing is that you don't let it get you into a downward spiral. Seems like every time I am ounces away from One-der-land (like yesterday morning) something triggers me back up again. The cookies I ate last night were not the best thing for me, but I got off the phone at 10pm and I was starving since I had a light lunch. However my niece really needed someone to support her and I was not going to hang up or eat while on the phone. So I'm trying to be good today to make up for last night. And you just burn up the sliders on the Gazelle girl!!!!

Hippy, sorry to hear you aren't feeling good. Those sinuses are a bugger and it seems like they go in cycles, especially this time of year. So you have to get a tux for Jordan???? Ooooh. Mucho bucks! Welcome to an empty wallet for the rest of your life

Kathy, you are my kind of woman. When the hubby is out of town, I have to set at least 3 alarms, one being across the room because I have been known to shut them off, roll over and jump out of bed 2 hours later because I was asleep when I shut the alarms off.

Raven, it is not like you not to post for a day, I hope everything is ok with you! I hope things work out for you with the horse adoption. I have my grill, you have your stables - we all have our vices, eh?

I have to admit that in my current foggy state (or is it just that I'm an old fogey?) I can't remember what I was so fired up to say yesterday. I think Raven mentioned something about sodium. That's been a killer for me too. Most of the stuff I make is fresh or from scratch - got in that habit about 2 years ago so that I could control more of what went into my food. About the only packaged thing I use anymore is canned flavored tomatoes. The pistol is that I can make alot of stuff that is low fat, low carb but then it's got SALT in it! I see people on the WW plan gulping down the V8 juice because it's only 1 point and they feel it's a veggie substitute. Well they drink 2 or 3 cans of the stuff in a day and it's got like 1/3 of a box of salt in it? Follow that with a few bottles of water and talk about bloat I have gotten more experimental in using different seasonings but sometimes it seems like you can't escape the salt. Just have to be a label watcher supreme! That's why it's a quadruple whammy - low fat, low salt, low sugar, low carb. Geez... makes you want to run to well no, but admit it, makes you THINK about it

Gotta run and get din din on the table. Catch you tomorrow. Be good.
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Old 03-18-2004, 09:14 AM   #79  
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'Morning ladies..

So much to catch up on.

Chachee - I'm glad that I can help. Sometimes I really think I just shoot my mouth off too much. I sometimes get a little overenthusiastic or over-intense when I'm trying to help. I will be awaiting your weigh in results with bells on, and you know I'm hoping right along with you! I'm really glad you like your gazelle!! It makes such a big difference if you enjoy the exercise you're doing. Holy cow on that schedule, girl. How long does THAT last? I hope not long!!

Kathy - Thanks! *bow* I have to admit I was laughing like a lunatic after I managed the canter without grabbing mane or feeling airborne... I had Rosa worried till she realized what was going on. Now I just have to pray that the sciatica doesn't flare up like this every time I do it. Much stretching going on in an attempt to stop it from happening again. I hope that as I get better at that hip rocking movement (woohoo baybee) and keeping my butt IN the saddle the aggravation will be minimized. I hope this week is going ok without the husband around. At least you don't have to worry about cooking for him! How is the pilates going?

Hippy - I'm so sorry you aren't feeling well again! Did you pick up some goldenseal? I know I have Nickie here getting all interested in relationships too... she gets frustrated at the typical adolescents, she's old for her age. I swear you couldn't PAY me to go through that again. I just hope her Dad doesn't bail on us again, because it would mean the world to her to have him down here. It's so important right about this age for a girl to have her Dad to talk to, you know? I sure hope you can kick this upper respiritory stuff soon.. I know what that's like.

Happy - Hey girl.. I'm sorry I didn't post. I've been having some things going on in my brain, and it makes it hard sometimes to think of things to say. I probably need to write the stuff out here, but it's stuff that's hard to put out. I don't want to be judged or pitied or counseled or looked down upon, but that's the kind of thing that usually happens when I start talking about some of my deeper issues. So I keep them to myself and try to work through them as best I can. I've made a lot of progress by journaling and posting "around" the issues.. never really hitting the nail on the head but at least dumping some of the emotions surrounding it. It's always couched, always danced around, but at least that much has helped. I just ended up a little twisted up in there, you know? And about the sodium thing.. yeah, that's just one MORE thing to try to track. It's kind of frustrating to me that everything we buy for convenience has loads of sodium in it.

Alright.. I'm still up on the scales, which as much as I know should not even come close to bothering me, still does. I have been stretching for the last couple days, and that seems to be really helping with the sciatica. This morning I was going to do taebo, but .. hmmmmmmmm... my tapes seem to have migrated elsewhere. I'll have to chat with my offspring to find out where they buried my tapes. So I did my treadmill thang. Quarter mile warmup, run a mile, quarter mile walk break, run a half mile. It really wasn't that hard. And since, oddly enough, running has never aggravated my sciatica (walking, however, does bother it. go figure) I was fine physically. Mentally I'm finally getting to the point where the running isn't so hard that I can actually free think while I'm running. I was wondering when that would start happening. In a way I'm almost sorry it has happened because sometimes things come up while I'm working out that I just don't feel ready to deal with. It happened this morning and I ended my run in a good cry. *sigh* All this stuff about weakness and punishment and not feeling like I'm good enough because I let a little sciatica slow me down and on and on and on... I wonder if the men who did those things to me ever realized how badly they were twisting my child's brain? I even remember one time I was told he was doing these things to me so I'd grow up tough and not a wimp. Yeah. Well.. whatever. Now I ride a razor's edge too much of the time. And I skirt issues, and I feel like I live sometimes on the fringe of a society that will never accept, never understand. I'm sorry.. this is too heavy, isn't it.

I guess my food is ok, fitday says it is. Water is .. mediocre. I need to get more in. Running in the morning does help, because I drink two big huge glasses at home before I even leave for work. The drawback to that is I have an hour drive to work and by the time I get here I'm DYING!! Lord help anyone who gets between me and the bathroom when I first get to work. Today is payday! *whee* That, of course, means running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Gotta luv it! Well it's Thursday - one more day closer to the weekend! Am I rambling here or what? Ok.. time to get some work done. Hope everyone is doing great today!
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Old 03-18-2004, 12:52 PM   #80  
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Hi everyone.

I'll be back on later to post longer, but I was down another 0.4 last night. THAT'S RIGHT...NO GAIN! I was doing my Chachee happy dance! C'mon,everyone dance!

Total loss in 4 weeks was 9.4. Wahoo!

I'll chat later this morning. I'm kinda draggin my wagon!!!! One more night, Raven! I didn't get home until 2:30 am and was back at work at 7:45 am. I'm the Walking Dead!

No caffeine needed........yet!

Chach
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Old 03-18-2004, 02:29 PM   #81  
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Okay, I'm back!

Happy: Are you out of your fog yet? I was really looking forward to finding out what had you so riled up! Guess we'll just have to wait. Thank you for all the encouragement yesterday. Really helped me focus on what I was doing, and not just get down for one week's results. I'm feeling good and as minimal as my loss was yesterday, it's still a loss! I'm very excited about that. That darned Ben and Jerrys tempts me sometimes, but there are so many good tasting ice cream treats out there that I can swap them out, it just takes a little looking. I need to not be lazy and grab something I know I'll like. I think that's a big part of being successful, also, is finding new foods. Branching out and trying new things. And yes, I am going to burn that pizza off this week on my Gazelle. I didn't work out this morning, but I'll explain that further down. (And yes, sometimes a McD's run is all I can think about. I've gone there twice in the last three weeks to get my son a Happy Meal and I've resisted everything there. Why does it smell so good when you aren't suppossed to have it??)

Raven: My friend, big hug your way! I know how hard it is to deal with things at times. Let me just say to anyone, anything put out here needs to be put without fear of being pittied, ashamed, and judged. We are all here to lift each other up, and that is a big thing for me. Sometimes I can't wait to get on here and see what someone has posted. A lot of it hits home with me and I can relate to a lot of it. I know everyone has issues, and different ways of dealing with them. Please remember we are all here for each other and this is a positive place. What's that thing my mom always said??? "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I love that and try to apply it to my everyday life.

Now, that's not to say we don't need the occasional tongue lashing from our Drill Sergeant Raven!!!

Okay, I am off tomorrow because of working this CRAZY shift. I didn't get home until 2:30 am this morning. I will try to get on here and post sometime during the weekend, because it takes me so long to catch up with you all on Monday!!!

Have a great weekend and here's to a great week for all of us--physically, emotionally,and health wise!!!

Oh, and my hubby is for sure deploying to Thailand. He's gone 6-8 weeks. I think I can try and lose about 15 pounds while he's gone. That will be my challenge to myself. Oh, and Raven, did you see how close I am to hitting my 40 pounds lost?? I'm trying to copy you!

Chach
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Old 03-18-2004, 03:57 PM   #82  
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Just checking in on everyone! I'll post more positive "great job girls" posts later.

As for myself, fever, sinus infection, both ears infected, bronchial infection. To be honest I feel like sh*t.

Just wanted to whine a little!

Take care girls and I'll catch up with you in a day or two.
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Old 03-19-2004, 10:03 AM   #83  
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Good morning ladies!!

I'm feeling much better today, much more positive. I hate to say it but I wonder if the drop on my scale had a lot to do with it. Or maybe it was that yesterday I thought about all the NSVs I've had lately, and that brought me out of the doldrums. I don't know, but today is a good day. I'm at 180.5 again, and I will say that's a relief. I've been doing my stretches and the pilates I remember, and it feels good. I've decided not to buy the DVD player because I'm planning on buying a PS2 for the family in another month anyway. I'll just buy a cheap VHS tape for now and use it till then. I also got a recommendation from one of the ladies on the other thread I follow for a stretch called the piriformis stretch. It looks like exactly what I need, and I'm going to try that one out tonight. Today I'm in my 14s again, and wearing a button down shirt that I couldn't even close across my chest and tummy. Maybe I'm in such a good mood because I'm going to get my hair cut really short in back again tomorrow and I just LOVE the way that feels. All soft and fuzzy. Or maybe I feel so good because I realized that my favorite sandwich at subway only has 370 calories for the 6" size. It was nice to feel like I was eating something I shouldn't. And I brought the other 6" for lunch today. That's a little more than I usually eat for lunch, but considering how late a day today is going to be, I'm not worried about it. I may even prepare for tomorrow by getting some to take with us to eat for lunch while we're working the pony rides. I'm so rambling today.

Chachee! Congratulations!! I have a feeling that working out on that gazelle is going to be a very good thing for you. And I'm not sure if this is appropriae to say or what, but girl I'm darned proud of you! Look at how far you've come! It's going to be interesting to see which one of us hits the 40 pound mark first, eh?? And you don't know how much it means to me to have you all here to provide support. I am twisted up in my brain, I know I am. There are a lot of things I have to work through that would make a lot of people uncomfortable to talk about, to hear, to accept. That is why I have a hard time putting it out. I have ended up skewed. I just need to make myself understand that it's not important that other people accept me, I just need to accept myself. But there is nothing more touching to me right now than people accepting me for who I am. Probably because for so long even I couldn't do that. Because of the way I'm bent, I find it necessary to contstantly quantify how much I care for my boyfriend and my kids, to prove that my choices (do I really have a choice?) are not harmful to them or to myself. I realize I'm probably making no sense here, I apologise. In any case, thank you. Have you found that it's easier to stay OP when your husband is out of town? I'm just curious.

Hippy - I'm so sorry you've been hit so hard!! I remember several years ago I had ear infections in both ears and honestly - the pain in one ear felt like someone taking an ice pick and shoving it in there. It HURTS!! I hope you can get on antibiotics and get that under control quick! Get rest, drink lots, and I hope you feel better soon!!

Happy - Are you out there? I know you're busy, just want to make sure you're ok!
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Old 03-19-2004, 10:10 AM   #84  
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Hi girls,
Raven - GREAT post in your journal this morning.

The last few days have been rather hectic for me. Tonight after work I am going into the city - the first of my childhood friends is turning the big 5-0 and we are having a small get together. Part of me wants to really harass her and get my last shot in but I have to contain myself - my turn is next month and we all know what goes around, comes around. Since I don't drive the highways with all the freaks on the road, and my friend lives just down the street from my mom, I will be spending the weekend at my mom's. I'm looking forward to it because though we talk on the phone all the time, I don't get to spend much face to face time with her. It will be a challenge tho because I'm sure all weekend she will be pushing food at me. Since I'll be away most of the weekend, I've been rushing about at night trying to get all the usual weekend chore stuff done so that I'm not overwhelmed when I come back Sunday afternoon. Eeegads!

I have not been dilligent on plan this week - not enough veggies or water or fruit. It's been sort of hit or miss - either something fast on the run or not that hungry. So I've just been bouncing around 2 pounds on the scale all week. Even though I am at the low end of the trampoline, I can't chalk it up to a success. Today's mantra is ... if not now, WHEN? It's all a matter of making it a priority, isn't it? Your journal entry Raven talking of feeling muscles and a tight body was quite inspiring. And also, when you're eating "clean" you feel so much better. It's just that you notice the bad feelings more than the good reminders. When things are going well, I think it's more of a taking it for granted.

How wonderful it would be to have enough time and money so you can just focus on one thing exclusively, wouldn't it? But alas, life isn't like that so I must learn to be a better juggler

Gotta get rollin' - have a great weekend everyone, I'll be back Sunday!
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Old 03-19-2004, 10:12 AM   #85  
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Boy, I wish technology would let us talk into a microphone and transcribe our thoughts. As I was rushing around last night in the background I kept having conversations with myself about our compelling need to have other people "accept and approve" of us and insecurities that drive us and the like... kinda what you're going through Raven. I just didn't have enough time to post them but I hear what you're saying...
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Old 03-19-2004, 06:04 PM   #86  
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Hello wonderful ladies!!

Raven: Thank you so much for your nice words. I am proud of myself also. I'm going to share something very personal and I'm going to put it out there. If you are going out on a limb, then I will too!

About 4 years ago I had a bad accident and ended up tearing the miniscus in my left knee. I was in physical therapy and doing all kinds of meds to keep the pain and swelling down. After about 6 months of physical therapy, wearing a splint on my entire left leg (which I even had to wear for my wedding), and tons of doctor's visits, I ended up going in for an MRI prior to surgery. Well, when I took my information over to the MRI place, I noticed on the paperwork under "Other comments" it noted "Patient weighs 283 pounds". That was the first time I had to see in writing how very out of control I had let myself get. What was I thinking? Didn't I know how badly I was treating my own body and spirit? I was getting ready to walk down the aisle and I was heavier than I had ever been.

And, yes, I did know I was overweight, but seeing it written down on a piece of paper by a medical proffessional really upset me. Why did they need to note that, I wondered. Why write it down. It's obvious I'm not a normal weight, but dang, was it that bad?

Well, when I went in to have the MRI, it was tough. I carry most of my weight in my midsection and my thighs. That darn MRI machine was so tight because I was so fat. I remember never wanting to feel that way again. I had to admit I had a serious weight problem, and that was the worst day of my life. Because of how my body is built, and the fact I am tall, a lot of people never knew (and still don't) how heavy I had gotten. I know now that at that point I would have had to call myself obese, and it pains me even to this day to say that.

Granted, I am not close to my goal of 150, but hey, I am now under 100 pounds from it. It has been so long since I was under 100 away that the last time I remember that was about 7 years ago. How sad is that?

Now I am on the right track and you guys want to know what has helped me so much and made a lot of difference??? All of you that post with me. Your struggles are my struggles. My biggest downfall is boredom and emotional eating. I don't ever feel better after I have done it, but it's hard for me to control. I know where it comes from. It was my dealing mechanism when I was growing up because my father was an alcoholic. Never violent, just verbally abusive to my mom when he was drunk. I remember a lot of very tough times and that was how my mom dealt with it, therefore it found it's way to me. I've not ever had to go through that with any of my relationships, but seeing that always stuck in my head. I'm working to correct that and realize that there are different ways of dealing with bad memories other than eating. NOW I SHOP! Heehee. Just kidding. Now I analyze why I want to eat. And, truthfully, the knitting has helped me so much. It keeps my hands busy and I don't want to get the yarn dirty, so I don't eat when I am doing it.

Okay, I know I have rambled. I just know that one of my friends puts herself out there, and I wanted her to know how much I care and that I can put myself out there too. I have to admit these thing and make them my driving force, not my hinderance anymore!

Happy: Good luck on staying OP. I know it's hard when you are with other people. Now, with WW, I know I can have things, just need to cut the portions back.

Raven: I find it so much easier when hubby is gone to stay OP. I am going to start a mini-challenge when he's gone. He's going to be gone 6-8 weeks, and I want to lose 15 pounds while he's gone. I'll settle for 10. He leaves April 20th, give or take a couple of days. I'll be stocking up on WW frozen meals, low in sodium of course!! Thanks for being such a great motivator and encourager!

Talk to you all later! Feel free to analyze and give input on what I wrote. I always enjoy reading other people's POSITIVE reactions.

Chach
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Old 03-20-2004, 08:28 AM   #87  
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Good Morning

Wow! I have missed alot since I have been away! I am happy to report that I feel among the living again! I am still coughing and blowing my nose but am feeling better today. I am taking antibiotics but I have had better ones that worked faster. I'm just glad to be somewhere other than in bed

Chach, the emotional eating is a killer. I eat when I'm happy, sad, stressed, it doesn't matter. I don't even have to be hungry to eat. Isn't it funny how we know we are overweight but it takes something eyeopening to make us see how overweight we really are? For me, it was pictures of myself that had been taken last Summer. I knew I was fat but when I saw those to be honest I couldn't believe how fat I had really gotten. The scale said 285 I just sat there and looked at those pics and new that if I kept it up I was going to weigh 300 pounds. I weighed 55 pounds more than I did when I was 9 months pregnant I still have 100 pounds to lose to meet my goal of 150. I try not to look at it like that because it's so overwhelming for me. That's alot of pounds but I plan to get there. You are doing an excellent job and you will meet your goal. Hang in there

Happy, I have picked Monday as my stop smoking day. Care to join me? This is going to be hard but I can't keep putting it off. I always say I will quit after I lose weight but I have to do it now! I know it's going to be hard because I am really going to have to watch my diet and increase exercise to help keep me from gaining weight, I hope it works. I have been sick, as you know, coughing my head off and my lungs and bronchial tubes hurt and I have been thinking about being like for the rest of my life of my life from smoking. I don't want to be sick and coughing and not able to breath. I don't know how well it works but I have heard great things about the Smoke Away system. Have you heard of it? It is suppose to cleanse your system of nicotine and so on with natural ingredients. No nicotine replacement. You can be smoke free in 7 days. I know a few people have used it and say it's wonderful. I know that I have to do my part but I'm hopeing it will help with the cravings and so on.

I have to get Jordan fit for a tux and order his girlfriend a corsage and so on for their dance. I'm excited but Jordan is dreading me wanting to take pictures! This little deal is very expensive! $80.00 for tux rental, I have no idea what the flowers will cost, pictures to pay for. I agree with high school proms but Jr. High proms??? I thin it's a little much for 13 year old kids.

Raven, hope all works out with the ex keeping his word. Is he moving there soon?

Kathy, how are you?

I am so behind on housework and laundry so that's what I will be doing today. Have a great weekend!
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Old 03-20-2004, 12:20 PM   #88  
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Hi everyone and HAPPY SATURDAY

Well what a week, what a week.

Hippy, I am so sorry that you are sick. I hope that you are able to get lots of rest this weekend so that you are up and about by Monday. Wow Monday for quitting smoking! Good luck and remember to post so that we can try and help you through it. I think I have seen the commercials for the smoke away system, but they never show the price so I would think that it is quite expensive. (My hubby was going to look into that to help him quit smoking.) If you try it you will have to let me know if it really works and if it would be benificial to him.
Jr. High Prom....Well if that wouldn't make a mother proud and teary eyed to see him all dressed up in a tux, with his date in her beautiful dress.... ahhh *sniffle and sigh* maybe you could post some pictures so that we could be all proud with you.

Chachee I see that you are still knitting, and I am still waiting for my nice green scarf that would match my coat. Last night I actually dreamt that I had bought a gazelle myself and was working out on it in my closet. So your hubby is off once again for a few weeks. I had a hard time with just one week. Although he is gone again next week also. Hey I am a shopper also. It worked well for me when I worked in a store, as I could shop all day long. Now, I actually have to go out after work to shop.

Happy I hope that you have a wonderful weekend with your friends and your mom. Are you leaving hubby a to do list while you are gone? I have been catching myself in the thinking lately that it would sure be much easier if I had alot of money, and then I could eat much healthier and not have to work so that I would have time to go to the gym. Yes I know this is bad thinking, and it is just an excuse to make me feel better. But it is just so easy to keep those thoughts.

Raven, so big plans for the weekend out at the stable? It is rodeo weekend here, so Kristi is wanting to go with her friend....just to check out the cowboys and the horses, not the actual events, although she says she enjoys the barrel racing. I am glad that you are feeling better, and more positive. Well now that you got your running down and it is easier, maybe I should issue a little challenge. What is your best time now for your 2 mile? Challenge, cut 10 seconds off your best time. Oh yeah and your challenge for me is to get my large butt onto my treadmill and just try and walk a mile or 2.

Well now, the manager of our new office, is not doing his job really well, and he has been blaming everyone else but himself. So of course others are not doing their jobs and blaming everyone else also. Of course we all know that the blame eventually comes back to one person, and that would be me. So my higher boss came in and had a fit, at which I ended up literally telling him off yes I did use words that I shouldn't have. I finally told him to teach me to drive a truck so that I could do everything at work myself, and then I really could take the blame for everything. But yesterday we let everything go, what could he do when the stress finally got to much and I started to cry.... Him and the drivers were wondering what they could buy me to cheer me up!!! The straw that finally broke the camels back GIRL GUIDE COOKIES. The thousands of cases that I had worked for 2 weeks arranging delivery times for and then at the last minute it all fell apart. Man I am so glad that it is the weekend. The owner of the company is going to spend 3 weeks at our office trying to get the manager up to doing his job now. But I am pleased to say that I actually was only late for work on Tuesday and only 15 minutes. (No one had a lunch made and had to buy lunch) but Cody got up 15 minutes early for the rest of the week and packed us all a lunch. Good thing is the three of us worked together (Yes I hang my head in shame Mark makes the lunches in the mornings as I have such a hard time getting my butt up) and we now appreciate all the work that Mark does in the morning to get us all going for the day. Cody says that he will continue to make lunches. What a kid. Ok Sorry that I rambled on for so long. I must go and try and get caught up on some things.



Hi to Sassy if she is still out there.

Enjoy the weekend.
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Old 03-22-2004, 01:56 AM   #89  
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Hi ladies I'm back. I had such a great weekend with my mom. I realized that I have to make a committment to spend more time with her. We laughed and talked and she was so happy that I went to church with her The church rumbled a bit on it's foundation but held up. Been a long time since I was in church. I still have my faith, believe in God, say my prayers and try to be a good Christian but I feel distanced from organized religion. My church is in my heart. I felt really sad at one point as we were talking at home when she said she doesn't get much company any more. She said she knows we are busy but it made me almost want to cry. We talk on the phone several times a week but I guess the face to face is important too. So I will make a better effort to get over by her more often. I tell you though, it's a good thing I don't live at home anymore or else I'd weigh 400 pounds for sure. Every hour she was pushing food at me. Want some soda, tea, coffee, juice, milk? How about a sandwich, piece of chicken, orange, bananna, apple, piece of pie, ice cream, chips? MOM we just ate an HOUR ago! She does love to nibble she does. We took a walk down the road to a new fruit and vegetable store and of course I went hog wild - my vice used to be clothing, now it's grocery stores I picked up lots of tasty fruits and veggies so I can get back on plan and work off the sinful eating of the weekend. Got home in the late afternoon and then it was rushing around trying to finish out the weekend chores. Now it's almost 1am and I should be in bed but I wanted to do a quick post.

Mom and I did a fair bit of walking around and I realized I REALLY need to get walking again - whether on the treadmill (probably not as DH was sanding and painting while I was away) or I just have to brave the blustery cold outside and take a walk around the neighborhood. Vacation is only 4 weeks away and hubby is talking about kayaking, hikes in the woods and renting a bikes and peddling along the Monterey coast line. I am definitely NOT in shape for that! At least not at the minute but I have 4 weeks to "train" definitely starting tomorrow for sure.

Hippy, good luck with the smoking. I do the same as you - keep saying I want to lose some weight first but like you said, it just puts it off. I know from quitting before that my problem is habit much more than nicotine dependency. When I quit in '98 I went through a program at the hospital - the American Lung Association cessation program and I used the nicotine patch. The patch didn't really do anything for me except that it kept me from smoking because it's very dangerous to smoke while you are using the patch - you can cause a stroke from too much nicotine and I was terrified of that. Since it's transdermal you can't just rip the patch off and light up - you have to wait for the nicotine to dissapate. My doctor said I might have better luck with Zyban. Do I want to take an anti-depressant? Not sure... BUT in a show of support for you I will make the following committments. I will no longer smoke when driving. My husband washed my car this weekend and it's totally clean inside and out. I don't smoke at all when he's in the car and I don't smoke in his so there's no reason to smoke in mine. Also I haven't smoked in my house since 1998. I go outside or when it's cold, I go in the garage. Starting Monday I will only smoke outside. And since it's cold and windy and awful out there right now, this will not be pleasant. I had to stand outside when I was at my mom's and we had gusty terrible winds and no where to hide and I was thinking if I had to stand outside all the time, I'd probably quit. I will also go back to the Lung Association program - the part that preps you for quitting. I might be a little bit behind you, but you are right - it is time to give it up once and for all. I'd quit on Monday too but I need a little more prep time. I wish you the best of success and we can whine to each other, okay???

To the rest of you, I'm sorry but I really need to get to bed now. I will catch up with you tomorrow - hope you all had a good weekend!
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Old 03-22-2004, 09:25 AM   #90  
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Good morning girls!

Happy, sounds like you had a wonderful visit with your mom. I am so glad you are going to take steps to stop smoking. I'm really glad you are willing to hear me whine I know my smoking is a habit more than being addicted to nicotine. I smoke so much I never have a chance to crave one! For me smoking is like eating, I don't have to want it I just do do it! This is going to be hard. I can sit and talk myself into wanting to smoke so I am going to really have to control my way of thinking. This program lasts for 7 days and just try to focus on staying strong so in 7 days I will be smoke free.

Kathy, I will gladly let you know if this works! I bought mine at Wal Mart. It is way too expensive online. I paid $37.00 for the 5 step program. Do you smoke or just your hubby?

Raven, how are you? Hope you had a good weekend!

Better run, must keep busy!!
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