Well hi there, ladies... bit of a hectic morning here at work.

Chachee - I have used Pilates for Dummies and the Windsor Pilates. Windsor was a little harder in the beginning, the Pilates for Dummies I think does a better job of intro and breathing and position yada yada, plus she includes a few upper body moves in there, too. It feels very awkward at first, but after you get used to it, it feels really good to do the routines. I would highly recommend it, but I'd also recommend using a floor mat to cushion the butt bones. The Pilates for Dummies is a great tape for beginnners. I have to agree with you on the clothes fitting thing. Both sides of it... get rid of the stuff that's too big, and isn't it fabulous to fit into stuff that was too small!?!? I LOVE that! The big deal with me now is that I'm rapidly approaching the smallest clothes I've got, so in about 20 more pounds it's going to be all new clothes. What a total concept. I'm waiting anxiously to hear what the surgeon has to say. I hope things go well!! Oh.. and RE: the weigh in... wow. My approach with myself has been "face the music." If I screw up, I know it's going to show up on the scale. That's just the bottom line, and I don't want to hide from that any more. I spent how many years pretending that what I was eating and doing (or not doing?) wasn't affecting my weight. I'm not going down that road again. But I don't know if that's what would work for you. If you think it would help to avoid the weigh in, then by all means, do so. You don't want to end up getting discouraged when you've been doing so well. OTOH, you don't know that you're going to do badly, really. Why waste a pass on something that may very well be history by your weigh in?

Happy - If you saw my tummy, you'd know why I want a tuck so bad!! At full term with my son, I weighed 265. I dropped 20 pounds after he was born, putting me at 245. I'd had two C-Sections at that point, and now had this great big pouch thing. So as I drop the weight, the fat goes, but all that skin stays. I'm finding I have flaps under my arms, too... you know it's kind of weird, I thought I had such flabby arm muscles (triceps, mostly) but if I tighten the muscle, then draw all that flabby skin stuff tight, you can actually see a very nice tricep definition. Argh! Ok, that's it, I just need a whole body tuck.

Well I started this about an hour ago, and I'm just getting back to it now. Work is just so busy lately. Everyone is stretched to the snapping point here. Where was I?


Happy - Swordfish!! OOOO that sounds GOOD! I'm putting that on the shopping list for Thursday, yes I am. Yes, pilates makes me break a sweat. Does that make me a total weenie? My abs hurt today a little from doing it yesterday, that's a good thing.

Pollen, PMS, eating too much sodium... the scale is up. Kill the scale. Rosa rode our butts into the dirt last night. She's now saying that next week will be posting without stirrups. Great.. I'll have to CRAWL up the stairs to the house. I better get back to work. God is it FRIDAY YET!?!!

Hello ladies!

Okay, so I am going to weigh in. I was almost sure of it when I posted that, but I am going to live by my eating choices. I am okay with the gain, because I choose to eat not so good! Thanks for the encouragement, and I know it won't trip me up because I have wonderful news......

I met with the plastic surgeon today about the breast reduction surgery. He examined me and showed me what the procedure would look like when finished with the scars. He said I was definitely a candidate for a medical-necessity surgery and he is sending off the paperwork this week to have it approved through the insurance agency! If it ends up being outpatient, it should cover 100%. He said he would take me from my 40DD down to around 38C! Oh my gosh, guys, I am so excited about having this done. He said figure 2 weeks off work and then I should be okay to go back to a desk job. I was concerned about the leave time, but he said it shouldn't be a problem with only 4 weeks scheduled off. I am going to calculate my time off tonight, but ballpark figure I know I will have around 30 work days paid leave--like almost 1.5 months. They will get ahold of me once the insurance company approves it and will schedule it at that point. I need to have a deposit of $500 ready in case it's not 100% covered. We are looking at August of this year to have the surgery done, and he is guessing he will take about 10 pounds of skin and fat off. OMG!!!! I can't believe it's going to happen. Now I just gotta keep praying that the insurance gods will be kind to me.

He also said that I've done a great job on the weight loss, but he didn't think any more of a loss would ever affect the cup size, so although it's wonderful for my health and I do need to lose, he won't make that a contingency for the surgery. That was another concern. Never even a second thought to him.

Happy: Where are my left overs? I want to try some swordfish. Never had it but heard it's wonderful. I've always love salmon, also. I broil mine with onions, lemons and a little butter on the grill. Oh, yummy!

Raven: I know how badly you want that tummy tuck. I can't believe you are running out of clothes. Oh shucks, time to go shopping. Can I come???? I am weighing in tomorrow night. I gotta "face the music". I am okay with it and know it will make me stronger.

Okay, so my new goal is to get 2 pounds a week off, except for the pms weeks. Then if I break even I'm good. That's 6-8 pounds a month, 30 more pounds by the surgery in August. I'm on a mission now, as if I wasn't before, huh?

Happy Wednesday and keep those good weigh in vibes coming!!

Chach

Yay Chachee - perky boobies here you come That is WONDERFUL news, so happy for you.

I'm supposed to be doing my homework now and not peeking on the forum... but mom's not here to Let me finish up and I'll be back later if it's not too late.

Ok, I'm back. Geez so much time spent on homework for just a measly 10 points. No wonder the kids complain

Raven, sounds like you are getting a kick butt workout just riding. Add that to your regular workouts and no wonder the muscles are showing up. I can see where a tummy tuck would be on the "some day" wistful list. It has to be frustrating to be able to tone other things and not have any success with the tummy. Does Pilates help any or do you just get more benefit from the legs and overall posture for yourself?

We're in for a few days of cold and crappy ahead of us. Wish spring would get here already. I have a ton of work to do outside. We can't really plant anything and be safe until at least mid May. It's annoying because each year they come out with the flowers earlier and earlier. You sort of feel pushed to get them even tho there's still a chance of frost only because everyone buys them up and you're stuck with petunias if you wait too long. I did try planting seasonal bulbs one year that should have bloomed continuously from spring to summer but the rat @#$$*@# squirrels dug them all up and ran off with them. I have also thought of concreting everything because I plant all this stuff and then I have to go water and weed it and don't have the time for it. Never satisfied, eh?

Chachee, good luck with your weigh in tomorrow. I hope you are pleasantly surprised. I will cross fingers and toes for the insurance gods to look kindly on you.

Best get my keester in bed. We're supposed to get a mix of rain and snow tomorrow. Lovely as I have to drive to the office and then out for a meeting. Better go turn up the electric blanket a notch or two. 'Night all...

good mornin´ girlie friends!! ~grinz~ great news from all of you across the boards! what a fabulous way to start my day!!

Cachee: if it were me i would don one of those smaller outfit like... the skirt that you didnt have to undo to get up. coupled with one of those sweaters that fits so nicely now around the tum, walk up to that scale with all the grace and poise of Princess Diana and let the numbers be danged!! i am so serious about that. i would put on my face, do my hair the works. you know you can move those numbers in the right direction. look at what your wearing ~smiling brightly~ man i am so happy for you!!
~ rolling her arm thru the air screaming with glee~ WHOOOP WHOOOP!!

oh and Cachee i am so taking you up on your offer of sending me recipes and stuffs from your meetings. please, please, please....and thank you!! i am positive there are different things we could be sharing with each other. but at this point in time....... i couldnt tell you what they are ~laughing~ all my materials come in german. so i take my lil bits of paper (thats what i tell myself , that there lil bits of paper ~nodnodnod~ not a gazillion & 2 words that i havent a clue as to what its saying) grab my Deutsch-English Dictionary and commence to decyphering. yes, its a wonderful exercise in learning this langauge. how they construct sentences and what varying words mean. but its a pain! i am so eager and excited that this is not feeding my instant gratification side. my biggest need, is the need to know dag gone it! ~laughing~

Happy: impressive is what comes to my mind reading your post. your To-Do lists and what it took to do your lists ~grinz~ wtg! at one time i lived by To-Do´s too. but they (oh alright ~blush~) I got compulsive about them. i slowly had to deprioritize them. what i didnt get done today would go on tomorrows, to the point of not even writing them anymore. (unless it one of those days where so much is going on that you gotta.) i went from one extreme to another. i so have to find a happy medium here. you seem to have your finger on the pulse of what makes you tic. i think thats absolutely wonderful. i adore my carb´s but you know they dont agree with you. and actively associate and work towards whats better for you. setting that date for quiting smoking ( from what i have read so far.....~smiling brightly~ you can do it! ) good for you! i am living vicariously thru you and hippy right now. go ladies go!! i dont know if this will help you or not but hopefully ~crosses her fingers and grinz~ on the flights to and from Austria they ranged anywhere from 10-14 hours. i had bought the Wal-Mart brand nicotine gum, i believe it was 16.00 for 22 or 42 chews. to help me get thru the flights. funny thing was though after i got the gum just knowing i had it, i didnt have the cigarette cravings. having my bases covered, like you with the patches, works wonders on the mind set. good luck tooteroo´s i am behind you 100%.

Hippy: your doing so good i dont even know what to say to you ~grinz~ but bravo babes, wtg!!

Raven: same with you. everytime i read one of your posts..... there good things, theres (some) bad things, but in all things you persevier (sp?). your amazing, your all amazing women and i am so happy to have found you. ~ grinning like the cheshire cat who snagged all the cream~

okies quick (let´s hope ~grinz n winks~) blip on where i am at. being the sponge that i am right now. liking to have my bases covered or at least a saftey net if something unexpected happens. needing to find that happy medium in my organizational area ~pant pant~ that was going to be one of the longest run on sentences ever ~laughing~ i have aquired MasterCook 7.0 AND DietPower to go along with my WW Palm! loving these software programs!! had my face in them for days. i could go on and on extolling their virtues and how wonderful they are for me. if any of these programs could be of use or service to you........ i am but a pm/e-mail away ~smiling her bestest and brightest~ thats what we are here for to back up and support one another, so please if there´s anything i can do to help you in your journey......... nutrition analasys, points......whatnots, anythings, joe-whose-so-phats....just ask!!

as its March 31 here are my stats for the month. we are suppose to do this right? ~sheepish grin~

i have walked that dog o´ mine 30 out of the 31 days, most times twice a day. ( alex and i have a schedule, i do mornings, he afternoons, and we evenings ~grinz~) starting out at 15 minutes wheezing walks going up to 45 with no problems!! yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh me!

March 1st i weighed in at 211 ( i cant believe how hard that was to write, i have never ever been so heavy. if i went over 175 i used to panic...... old tapes ...going back )

March 31st weighed in at 202.
this should be so exciting for me i know, 9 pounds gone. but its not. isnt that awful, i wont be getting excited until i am in the 180´s and still losing. getting back to the old me as far as figure and shape. right now i still see the roly poly wench, hating what i see. but on the brighter side....... there will come a day.......~wink~

goals for April.... last week i stair stepped twice (man were my legs sore doing that and walking). i adore house invaders and wont miss it. so i decided that while it was on i would step up ~sniggering at her pun~ and do some step work on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays. on tuesdays, thursdays, and saturdays...... to rest my sore legs, i will stationary row for my arms.

i will keep walking Bosko ( of course , spoiled pup cant get enough of these walks. he fetches his own leash when we say the word.....laughing) but here is my goal. our path is gorgeous, wooded, on a hill, where you can look down and see the Enns river back dropped Austrians call them hills, being from Michigan them thar hills look like Mini Mountains to me ~laughing~ anyhoo..... there are these stairs that twist and turn that i am terrfied of. not because there dangerous or anything, but beacause what goes down....~swallows hard~ yes.......... must go back up. alright which one of you can throw a bullet the hardest!! ~laughing~ shoot me now for even thinking about these stairs..........Motivation behind this endeavor, that pampered pooch and his needs. ya see i have met along this path 2 adorable lil old austrians who walk their dogs every morning as well. warm, friendly, just the sweetest peeps who speak english with me. bless their lil hearts. her dogs love Bosko and they get along famously. his little corgie on the other hand is older and does not like this young studley movin in on his territory.. Bosko likes him though, so hopefully they can come to a truce of sorts soon. back to why....... down the stairs, across the bridge, and to the left is a doggie play area where everyone congregates with their pooches letting them roam free and socialize, while we catch up on the latest happenings in the nieghborhood. doesnt that sound nice??!! nice enough to get me down those stairs come mid month?? hey happy, how bout i use the date you set to quit smoking. you put them down and i will go up......... (this all looks good on paper ladies. i am soooooo going to need you come the 16th)

food and program wise, keep setting up and doing what i am doing, cuz so far its working!! there are 5 fridays in April, and 5 saturdays in May, toss in tuesdays in April, and wednesdays in May for weigh in´s and come the first Saturday in June (my wedding day) how could i not be lighter then what i am now. it is so hard not to be number obsessive.

well thats my plan. as always ladies wishing you and yours nothing but the very best that life has to offer and continued success in our programs!

sincerely,

sassy

p.s. the edited thingie was because i had hit something and lord knows what but next thing i knew i had posted before i was thru.......~laughing as she tuggles, none to gently at her blonde puter kinks~

Morning Girls,

I haven't been able to post in days. Had to pop in for support.

Sniffle, tear drop running down cheek I am having a terrible time. I am smoking about 2 cigarettes a day and I have gained 5 pounds. I'm tired, have no energy and today I just can't stop crying.

Happy, I give Smoke Away ALOT of credit. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to stop smoking.

Here's my problem. I did really well until the weekend. We had friends over and barbequed. Built a big fire and had some drinks. All of my friends are smokers. I resisted really well until I had a few drinks and I just wanted a cigarette. I thought I would have a smoke with the girls and be done with it. Gary got all bent out of shape and told me that I could not smoke. Telling me he thought I wanted to quite for him and Jordan and did I want to die from lung cancer and so on. I felt like a 2 year old kid in front of everyone that was here. I was so embarrassed. My inner ***** kicked in and I informed him that I'm 38 years old and he will not tell me that I cannot smoke. Needless to say I had several drinks and several cigarettes. I have had 2 a day since. Now he followes me into the store saying he has to go to the bathroom but I know he's looking to see if I'm buying cigarettes. He calls me from work and asks me if I'm smoking. It makes me so damn that I can't see straight. I am still eating like a pig, a 5 pound gain in a week is alot. I can't be doing that. I feel so much pressure that I can't seem to get my eating under control and can't let go of these few cigarettes which will lead to packs again if I don't get the upper hand. My Smoke Away program is finished but I'm thinking about getting another one and going through it again. I really believe that it cleansed the nicotine from my system but I'm putting more back into myself. My cravings I brought on myself when I would relate lighting a cigarette to whatever I was getting ready to do.

I feel like a heel right now, you all have had such positive posts for me and I feel like a big LOSER. I feel like I can't control anything in my life. I can give weightloss and not smoking a **** of a shot but why can't I ever carry through? Why did Gary have to be so nasty? I know he had good intentions but he went about it all in the wrong way. I won't be told what I can and can't do. That's it, It's my attitude right? I keep thinking, "I'll show him" but the minute the pressure gets to be too much I go have a drag or two and I feel much better. I think I do anyway. I can feel the smoke making my belly feel yucky and my lungs ache so I put it out and go get something to eat. By the end of the day I am so bloated because I am soooooooo full that I feel sick. I have a viscious cycle going and don't know how to stop it.

Okay, I'm rambling and I'm afraid I'm going to short out the keyboard with tears. I'm going to go and take a walk. Thanks for listening!

This is a majorly quick one, as I have 400 gazillion things going on at once here. Hippy sweetie, I sent you an e-mail. And this is for you, I think it bears repeating, forgive me if I am getting monotonous with this...

Keep going

Some days it's difficult to see the progress you're making. Some days it may even seem that you're moving backwards. Keep going. The moment you've been working toward gets ever closer as you move persistently through each day.

Each effort, whether you can see it or not, moves you forward. Even the seeming failures make you stronger and push you in the direction of your goal.

Those who keep going only when the going is good, will never make it all the way. The value of achievement is built upon the difficulties you must cross through in order to reach it.

Keep going not only when the going is good. Persist in your efforts even when they seem to be pointless, even when you cannot feel any progress. For the progress is most certainly there. Keep going, and you will surely see it soon enough.

-- Ralph Marston

awwwwwwwwww huggles Hippy. it hurts to see you so broke up by this set back. have a heart to heart with your husband. let him know that you appreciate his concern and care for your well being but at this stage in the game that you both need to change the tactics for this to succeed. let him know how his new approach is making you feel and react. and right now your just to fragile not to react. with weight loss, quiting smoking, winter turning into spring everything looks to be needing this or that done, a wife, a mother, it can get so overwhelming. acknowledge that it probably wasnt the smartest idea to of been serving drinks so fresh out of the gate. work together on solutions for not only the next get together but the here and now.

i know The American Cancer Soceity has " the Great Smoke Out" every November. before i left they were showing an 800 # for free help with quiting smoking. yes its April but here´s the link, surely you can find the number within it along with all sorts of tips and stradegties to aid you. http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/ped_10_4.asp

your post touched me so much. i dont want to see you backsldie or even worse quit quiting. so i had done a quick Google search and came across this as well.....

<<Aromatherapy
One study demonstrated that inhaling the vapor from black pepper extract can reduce symptoms associated with smoking withdrawal. Other essential oils can be used for relieving the anxiety a smoker often experiences while quitting.

Herbs
A variety of herbs can help smokers reduce their cravings for nicotine, calm their irritability, and even reverse the oxidative cellular damage done by smoking. Lobelia, sometimes called Indian tobacco, has historically been used as a substitute for tobacco. It contains a substance called lobeline, which decreases the craving for nicotine by bolstering the nervous system and calming the smoker. In high doses, lobelia can cause vomiting, but the average dose-about 10 drops per day-should pose no problems.

Herbs that can help relax a smoker during withdrawal include wild oats and kava kava.

To reduce the oral fixation supplied by a nicotine habit, a smoker can chew on licorice root-the plant, not the candy. Licorice is good for the liver, which is a major player in the body's detoxification process. Licorice also acts as a tonic for the adrenal system, which helps reduce stress. And there's an added benefit: If a smoker tries to light up after chewing on licorice root, the cigarette tastes like burned cardboard.

Other botanicals that can help repair free-radical damage to the lungs and cardiovascular system are those high in flavonoids, such as hawthorn, gingko biloba, and bilberry, as well as antioxidants such as vitamin A, vitamin C, zinc, and selenium.>>

dont worry so much about your weight right now. we have the tools, support and know how to compat/ repair whatever may happen. first things first babes.

sending you as many positive vibes and warm fuzzies as i can. i am here for you, these ladies are here for you, your husband in his misguided way is here for you, and most of all Your here for You. wishing you nothing but the very best sweetling....chin up

Hello Ladies!

First of all, Hippy, big hugs from Alaska. I kow how hard it is, as I have seen my father struggle for about 35 years. I can't imagine the addiction, and that is truly what it is. I am just like you when someone tells me that I can't do/have something, damnit, I'm having/doing it! I'm so sorry that he treated you that way and I would have slugged him if I were there. He has a good point that he only wants you to be healthy and be there for him and Jordan, but his manner in which he conveyed that message was totally inappropriate! He needs to know that in front of friends with drinks in hand is not the right time to discuss these types of things.

I'm so sad you had your setback and sometimes it seems like life is out of control. I am going to think of something to support you today. If I make a small sacrifice to help support you, then I think it might help. (Hint, hint, all you ladies here, lets think of something to show our support to Hippy.) Okay, until you get those five pounds off, I am off the ice cream/skinny cows/ww desserts. It may not seem like a sacrifice to some, but today is weigh in day for me, therefore my new goals day. Here goes:

In support of Hippy and her struggles, I will not induldge in any frozen desserts, which averages two a day for me. Once her five pound gain is gone, then I will reconsider my support goal.

Anyone else want to join in? I am giving this up to show you that friends can make a big difference in weight loss and life success. You let me know when those five pounds are gone, and we will celebrate together!!

Sassy: 9 pounds in a month is wonderful. It's a slow loss, but it's going to stay off. I am going to take your advice. I am going to put on that big skirt and smaller shirt and shimmy off to WW to let that scale know a thing or two tonight. It's not going to get the better of me, and I'm going to show it I am not afraid of what it's going to say to me. Keep up your wonderful goals and I will share any advice/recipes I get from WW.

Raven: I know you are busy, but great job on posting the Keep Going. I enjoy reading that and it keeps me encouraged.

Happy: Keep everything crossed for me and the insurance company!!!! heehee. Thanks for the support on the weigh in. I'm ready to face the music and know that next week is going to be better. Our weather is cold up here again. It went from being in the 40's to being -11 this morning. Brrr... My poor puppies don't even want to go outside and do their business as it's so darned cold!

Okay, ladies, I have a very important date with the scale tonight. I am going to probably be up 2 pounds, but that's okay. I plan on that leaving by the end of the week! I might try to get on here and post tonight after weigh in, but it's doubtful!

Have a great day!!!!

Chach

Finally a bit of a break at work. What a day... what a week!!

Chachee - I know that I read that Keep Going thing usually a couple times a day. And when it's as hard as it is right now with me PMSing and the stress, I read it almost every hour. I have it printed out and I just glance at it, and the one part that always jumps out at me is the part about those who keep going only when the going is good and the value of the achievement. I just hope ya'll don't get tired of me repeating myself. Fantastic news on the surgery front for you!!! I'll keep everything here crossed for you too hoping that the insurance will cover it all. That would be fabulous! You must be so excited! And chickie, I'm proud of you for taking the weigh-in, no matter what the results are. You know that we're here to pat you on the back for all the great work you're doing, and the plain fact is that life is about enjoying food sometimes. I have birthdays coming up in April and May, so I know at least one day of each of the next two months is going to be all about eating stuff that is NOT conducive to weight loss. But I'm just going to enjoy it, celebrate the birth of my children, and move on. I figure they're worth it, yes? Most days, anyway. You're doing great!! Oh .. and though you definitely have me beat on the temperature (thank god I'm not there anymore) we did have hail today! Springtime in GA... 80 one day, hail the next.

Happy - Ack homework. Hey. That's all my kids ever do. Well, ok, they're homeschooled. What do they know. Now my problem is they're smarter than I am. Riding is developing muscles I never knew existed. I'm going to start doing squats and lunges again to work those adducters (inside thigh muscles) so I can grip well enough to post without stirrups. Right now they're getting stronger, but they're little. My daughter's are huge... what a picture, two ladies poking each other's inner thighs comparing the muscle. We're such dorks. I have her beat on the calves, though. Mine are GREAT from running now. Pilates helps a lot with the abs. My tummy muscles are getting more and more developed, and I can poke through the flab now to a solid wall of nice muscle. But no matter how much muscle I develop there, that skin is still gonna be hanging around. Blah. I just have to keep moving forward and not let that discourage me. It's rough to do all the work and not have the figure to show for it, but .. one day. I love doing the outside plants thing.. but I'm like you, I don't have time to take care of it!! I need more days off, I need more hours in the day. So many things I want to do, not enough time to do them all. So I guess you used your super-grill to do the swordfish?? That sounds so delicious. I hope your blankie kept you warm and cozy!

Sassy - I'll be starting a new thread tomorrow for April, which is where I usually throw my results from the last month and the goals for the new month. WTG girl!!! You're so close to One-derland!! You'll be there soon! I know how you feel about being at a certain weight and feeling like *then* you can start feeling good about yourself. But really.. look at you! Look at what you've accomplished! My goodness, lady... moved to a new country, took on all the challenges, what a woman! You should be very proud of yourself NOW! The weight will come off, but you will always be you, regardless of how much you weigh, and you seem like a very lovely, intelligent, giving, humorous, strong, compassionate, delightful person. Give yourself a hug from me. And regarding those stairs... that sounds like an absolutely WONDERFUL walk. I wish I could join you!!! I need to start walking my dogs for longer distances now that the weather is nice, but unfortunately there are no nice walking paths anywhere near me. I just get to stroll around the neighborhood, which gets kind of boring after a while. But.. it's good for them and for me, so I should hush and just do. And do I have to fly to Austria and boot your rear down those stairs on the 16th? You can do it, it might be a little tough at first, but embrace the pain!! Think of poor Boscoe and how much his little doggie heart yearns to be down there... *big sad puppy eyes* OTOH if I had the money I'd fly there just because it sounds so freaking gorgeous.

Hippy - Just another *hug* from me. We are so behind you on this, girl. I hope your walk went well, and you're feeling a little more centered now.

I think Chachee has a really good idea there. The one thing I can think of to support our friend is that I've been slacking off a bit on the exercise. So .. Hippy.. to support you and until you can lose that 5 pounds, I will make a committment to work out in one form or another 6 days a week, regardless whether I want to or not! (Please lose it soon?)

I'm PMSing SOOOO bad chickies. I am craving chocolate like nobody's bidness here. I even hear that evil little voice in my head saying "hey ... you didn't get a chance to eat your cheerios this morning because work was so hectic, so .. why not just skip your healthy afternoon snack too and eat a snickers bar instead?" *grr* Nasty little voice. It doesn't help that I'm blowing up like a water balloon, or that I have been so broke the last couple days (tomorrow is payday, YAY!) that eating has been of the high sodium cheapness variety. This morning my weigh in nearly turned into a scene from Psycho with the scale being the hapless victim. So even though I did actually hit and maintain 176 for a few days there, the water weight is piling on this week and there is no hope for that to be my April 1 weight. *sigh* Kind of depressing BUT I have to keep in mind that I started March at 186, and realize that means I have dropped a significant amount of weight this month. And I'm building muscle. So... all in all I'm pretty tickled, really. I just waffle alot lately. I'm hitting my 3 month mark now on doing really well, and I can feel that temptation starting to "take a break." I need to remember this isn't a diet, this is my life. I need to keep in mind what is important to me. If I hit the end of this year and I haven't reached goal, will "taking a break" have been worth it? My guess would be that I'd answer that with a resounding NO! It doesn't help that I ended the month with PMS coming on, I hate that timing. Ok .. back to work, keep going.

(p.s. where's Lucky lately?)

Hello Ladies,

Weigh in tonight was face the music night. Okay, so maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Actually, it was really good. I was not up, not down, stayed the same. Amazing how that can happen with those scales accurate to the 0.1, but it said the same, so I stayed the same.

My goals for this week:

1. No ice cream/dessert stuff for support of Hippy.
2. Have at least 2 points left over each day.

I'm getting ready to head out, so I will check in tomorrow morning with everyone! Raven, great job on exercising. I sure do hope she loses that 5 pounds soon!!!

Okay, off to get ready for training tonight.

Chach

Whew Chachee, bet you were sooooo stunned not to see a gain. That's fantastic! See you would have wasted your weigh in skip pass. Sometimes, tho rarely, the scale gods take pity on us

Raven, ah yes, big sigh - Snickers - I think Eve tempted Adam with a Snickers instead of an apple Those things are banned from my life because they send me on an instant bender. There's not much you can do about working around the food choices when funds are limited, but if salt is the most evil thing, guess that's not the worst, is it? Water's gotta be easier to dump than fat. It's interesting that you mention about "taking a break" after a few months - the temptation is strong but remember too how it's a fast slide off the wagon and a killer to get your momentum going again. Go back to your posts at the beginning of the year and re-read your frustration at trying to get back in the swing of things should you be tempted. And if that fails, remember what 198 pounds felt like! Thanks for starting the new thread, I'll look for it tomorrow.

Sassy, congrats on the weight loss for the month. Your walks in the "hills" sound absolutely wonderful. It seems like you have a very well laid out plan - although I have to say that it must be one heckofa challenge converting diet materials from German to English Do you get the same kinds of fruits and vegetables and meats we have in the states or are you having to learn to cook and make diet plans with all new foods? I will accept your challenge for April 16th - you take the stairs and I'll give up my crutch ~~shudder, shudder, shudder, shake rattle and roll ~~~

Hello to Lucky before I forget...

Which brings me to dear Hippy BIG Oh man, I read your post and I SOOOOOOOO know that horrible place you are in. Frustration, anger, dissapointment, rage and helplessness. Been there myself. And to be perfectly honest, it scares the heck out of me facing it again. I KNOW I need to quit but there's this teeny piece of me that just doesn't want to give it up and I'm afraid it's enough to keep me from being successful. You have to be strong for a long, long time to get over this. And I think it's far more a mental thing than a physical one. I sometimes thought of doing hypnosis - make me think I never was a smoker and the very smell of it would make me turn my head in disgust just like I feel about cigars. But everything you are feeling is totally normal, it just illustrates how really difficult kicking this addiction can be.

Generally they tell you to avoid situations like the barbeque and bars and stuff for about a month as you are detoxing. But sometimes that's not always possible. And I think you need to have a talk with Gary. Sometimes tough love and good intentions are a good thing, but not in this case. It just pushes you over the edge. Support and kind words and understanding sympathy (even if they DON'T understand) will take you alot farther. My husband is the type who sometimes pounds his chest and says "it's all about making up your mind and doing it" whether it's diet or exercise or taking care of your to-do list or whatever. He quit smoking 30 years ago - the kind of person who just said I'm not smoking anymore, threw his cigs away and that was it. But I was suprised and pleased that he was really sympathetic and supportive as I occasionally whined about how I wanted a cigarette all during the 7 weeks I stayed smoke free. It really hurt me to tell him and my mom and my sister (my cheerleaders) that I decided I couldn't stick with it. So ask him to bear with you and cut you some slack. I'm sure you know his intentions were good, even if the delivery part was not.

And accept that you will gain weight for a while. The nicotine boosts your metabolism and no matter what, you'll gain weight. I gained 10 pounds in 7 weeks eating clean for the first time in my life and exercising like a maniac when I quit. The number one reason most women return to smoking is because of the weight gain. But I can tell you from personal experience that if you start smoking again, you won't lose that weight. And you'll have to go through the withdrawal again and more weight gain the next time around. One thing you can do to counteract it is to boost the metabolism with exercise. Try to race walk or something that will get you winded. Jump rope, jog in place... And you can lose 5 pounds easier than you can clean out the inside of your lungs even if it doesn't seem like it now.

I have not tried any of the herbs that Sassy recommended but I will say PLEASE DON'T even consider Kava Kava. There is a definite link between that and big time liver problems. We used to take that and dumped the stuff out after I did some research on it.

I really understand your frustration about feeling like a loser between the weight loss and the cigs - it's like you are speaking my own thoughts. I hate the stubborn part of me that just digs it's heels in and has it's way with me. But you are NOT a loser and neither am I. If we were we'd just quietly go away from these boards and go stuff ourselves with chips and beers and cigs, wouldn't we? The fact that we're still here hanging on - even if by a thread means there's hope for us. And I'm going to need support too come April 16th. I really am nervous about quitting.

What I can suggest to you is some things I did from the program I was in:
1) If you're still smoking, even if it's 2 cigarettes, switch brands immediately! If you smoke methols, go to non menthols. If you smoke lights, go to the full lung sucking regular brand. Make it yukky to smoke. I have a few packs of my brand left and after they are gone I'm going to buy a pack at a time of either Salems or Winstons - both make me gag.
2) warning - this one's gross. Eeeewwwwww. Take your used butts, put them in a bottle or jar with a lid on it and add some water. After a few hours it will get nice and brown and ugly and stinky - especially as the days go by. When you get an urge to smoke, go open the cap and take a big old whiff of that bottle. Honest, they had us to do that from the hospital program and it IS a deterrent.
3) Take a pin and put a bunch of pin pricks in the cigarette so it doesn't smoke right. Smoke but don't inhale - easier said than done. Smoke 3 in a row one right after the other - and finish them all - that'll leave you disgusted.
4) Take a thick rubber band and put it on your wrist. When you want a cigarette, pull it back and snap it. Enough to say ow but don't leave welts Chant "I am a non smoker" I don't smoke anymore. I like that cigarettes no longer control me or my life. Think about it, you don't like someone telling you what to do but cigarettes actually DO control your life, your thoughts and the way you look, feel and smell.
5) Imagine in your head how you would look Jordan in the eye and explain to him that mommy has cancer and may not be around to see him grow up, get married or see his children. Do this as you snap the rubber band - is smoking worth that possibility?

I know, it's easy to sit here and give you advice when I'm going to be a basket case in 2 weeks myself. We have like minds and we have to help each other through this. We are not losers, we can do this. Remember that.

wow Happy, that was a very powerful post. I'll just wipe the tears out of my eyes now and go start that new thread. *blink*