Big thank you for that wonderful load of information which I shall read and inwardly digest again.
I'm still enjoying the gym and it is no hardship to get up and go in the morning apart from the rush, rush, rush of walking a slow dog, and getting my sh*t together, only mornings like today tend to get at me. I'll do silly things when stressed and tired. I've promised myself an early night tonight.
I sing in the car. I have a bunch of CD's of oldie but goodie songs and tunes and I sing and hum and beat drums until I see people looking at me weirdly - then I get a fit in my head that I should stick my tongue out or something equally childish. Doesn't happen though.
I shall mention to MEL that she might like to put the odd entry into our thread. She and Teel could be good for each other, since they both have problems that I would find exceedingly burdensome, but they both come up smiling and entertaining us! They could have us in fits about mishaps and accidents in wheelchairs!

Anyway, I'll best be off and unpack todays gym gear (ughhhh) and pack tomorrows stuff! Then get emotionally prepared for this trainers workshop. Ah well they are feeding us for the 3 days.

I seem to have descended into a blue funk. Tears are not far away and I have to try to pull myself together for this workshop.
There are times when I just feel that I will never get out from under with all the tasks I have set myself. I'm tired of living in the way that I do and tired of the job and yes probably a bit lonely too.
Sorry to dump this lot on you all, but it is at the moment just getting too much and I need to get out from under. If you don't hear from me for a day or so, don't worry I will be back.

Hey now....here is a huggle, no, not a bear hug, more like a gentle squeeze.I have no pearls of wisdom to offer you, dear Shad....I am probably the last person you should ask for hints on surviving a depressive brick landing on your head.But I will remind you again that we are all here for you, so you can dump all this on us any time you need to. I am sure Happy would agree with me. You have been such a strong tower of cement to me all through recent times and I can only pour love and strength down the airwaves of cyberspace and hope they know which galxy highway to take to reach you in Australia.
Do not take too much time out, my friend, for we shall be missing you and greatly awaiting your return, but return strengthened and renewed in body and spirit.

Lots of love coming over to you.

Hi ladies, Shad you cheer up you have a lot to be proud of yourself for.. staying on this site and encouraging all those ladies when they needed it!!.. Don't let work get to you as it is only a job and you have more imporant things than letting that drag you down.

Annie is still in Wollongong and has managed to loose quite a few pounds which is good news! I myself am doing very well and had a great Xmas and New Years as have the rest of you. Summer is here and we love it, have spent lots of time on the beach and walking etc.. Shad we did hear occasionally that you are going through the heatwave, my family live over your way in Camira so know doubt they will be feeling it to!!
I still stick to the ww eating habits although get sidetracked with the odd crazy diet plan every now and then - managed to stick with bfl for 8wks and got some muscles with that, they soon disappeared though and made me realise I must do something that suits my lifestyle that I can keep up.. haha!!! I have adopted Leslie Kenton's book as my new best friend and only eat High GI carbs now, no bread or rice or porridge and boy I tell you when you drop those from the equation the weight drops off - that is what our annie is doing. Takes a few days to get off the carb crave but if you can hang in there is certainly worth it.. if you want to try just do the no carb in the evening's first (meaning potatoes etc).. carbs from fruit, vege etc are good ones.

Well have a nice day all, I am leaving work early to do the groceries and go enjoy the sunshine, think we have had a bit more this year, but I must say that it takes about 5mins to get sunburnt...eeekss.. guess the ozone is disappearing a little bit more each year... soon we will be all the same colour.. red.. byeeee

Oh Shad, I too join the others in reaching out sending some comforting vibrations over to you. Not sure if you're east or west so I stood in both directions and reached out. Figured one way or another they will catch up with you. If you by chance feel a slight breeze russle your hair, it's just me patting you on the head. I do not want to see you sad, you are a great and caring friend to us all. Hope you de-funk quickly as we will miss you. But take the time you need to sort out your thoughts - tip your head to the side, dump the bad ones out, let the sun put good ones back in again.

Provided you are not standing next to Shaker or anywhere in Kiwi-land, you could probably do this for a bit of time without fear of getting burned to a crisp.

Shaker and Teel, good to have you checking in with us again. Also thanks Shaker for the update on Annie. I dare say she is approaching the stick insect she has always aspired to be. And it appears her DH did not drag her off to Sydney as he wanted to.

It does seem like everyone is jumping on the carb bandwagon. I am giving that a bit of a try myself but it's still hard to accept after all these years that fat is not so bad but sugar is worse. I have heard that people said get the carbs in during the morning. There might be something to that. Have been watching what I eat and if I had something rather sweet at dinner, seems by 9pm I am hunting the house down to look for something to stuff my face. Tonight I had orange roughy, brown rice and a salad for dinner. The munchies struck again around 9pm but nowhere near the intensity of the last 2 nights. I was pretty much able to ignore them. So maybe there is something to the High GI afterall.

It's off to bed for me. I've been trying to go to sleep earlier but am slowly shifting back to late night habits. Tah for now. Keep posting, I hate talking to myself.

Good morning all, well yes I will try and be more regular - in a nice way.. ha ha. Annies hubby tried a lot to get her to Sydney nearly destroyed the family but they seem to be working it better now and he stays in the city a few nights a week to save all that nasty driving

As for the carb thing well I went cold turkey on it.. such wit this morning!.. for about 2 days I felt sick and shakey and just really amazed me what an addiction carbs is, once you start you want more and more.. well that was what I was like. So now I can take or leave them and I tend to leave or just say no and have other things, for my sweet I make a bowl of that ww jelly, 1/2 punnet strawberries (only .5pt) and a couple of big tablespoons of diet yoghurt, considering you can eat the whole bowl of jelly with the rest of it I am yet to manage it. So that could be a good evening thing to have, although I suppose you might have to repalce the strawberries for something else.. what sort of winter fruit do you get happy???

I am glad Teel is still around as well and still fighting the system. boy that suxs.. DH is on leave now for a few weeks with the kids, he sowed a new lawn yest, OK not new just killed the prickles from the old one and put some new nice stuff down.. but this morning I took a peek out the window and although it said it had bird deterrent in it (.sp?) they were still a few there pecking at it..(maybe needs detergent for the birds??) So I guess it may take a while to grow

It is rainy today and looking forward to a lovely w/end.. DH is going fishing with a couple of mates as one has bought a boat so we are going out to the beach on Sunday as well for a bit of boating and frolicking with the kids.. Well hope you feel more groovy soon Shad.. you certainly have a lot of friends to to here!!!

Shaker, I am jealous that you are going on a beach and out on a boat but I am not jealous that you can't stay out longer than 5 minutes without getting sunburned. Good to see that you have overcome the carbs. I have been paying close attention to food lately and what it does to me. I would have to agree with the "more I have the more I want" philosophy. It's like opening a black hole. I am trying to cut the carbs - have to fool my brain because the minute I say I won't have something, I immediately want it. I did notice if I have anything too sweet at dinner, I get made cravings for food a few hours later. Cut the simple carbs out and come 9pm I'm just looking for something to snack on but I can generally ignore it or have a small piece of fruit.

There was a time when our winter fruits consisted only of apples, oranges and banannas. But now we get a lot of imported fruit from other countries having summer during our winter. We get oranges from Australia, grapes from South America and last week I have a real adventure with a mango from Ecuador. To this point I had only seen them peeled in jars or cans. I had no idea what to do with a real, live one until Shad gave me instructions. We get berries all summer long and for a short season like now over the winter. They are priced dearly but fairly good tasting. We get pineapple all year from Hawaii. The pears aren't bad either. However some of the fruit that comes from out of the country out of season - peaches, nectrarines and especially melons in particular are pretty terrible tasting and definitely not worth the extra marked up price. There is more variety now, I just tend to eat more fruit in the summer when I want something cool and it tastes better.

I have yet to find something that keeps the birds off the lawn when you seed. People here used to buy pre-grown squares of grass (sod) but have found that seeding a lawn produces better results. They often throw hay on the soil to cover the seed and keep it from blowing away until it takes root.

I swear aliens must capture me at night or something. It was 10:30 on the clock and now it's almost 1am and I don't know where the time went. I am falling down on the mark with my promise to get to bed before midnight.

Good to have you back with us again Shaker. Try to drag Annie on in if you can. Even as a special guest appearance and good going on the carb plan - you can keep giving us tips!

Good morning .. well another beautiful day in the city of sails, I love waking up to sunshine and feel sorry for you happy with the winter there.. summer goes so quickly though in this place, not like Shad and her lovely climate all year long! We should maybe get another month and then will be all over.

I have been asked by a very good friend of mine to be her bridesmaid at her wedding in March back in my home town so I am really looking forward to that. Hopefully within the next few days i will receive the pattern and material and will find a dressmaker to put it together for me.. so well worth losing those extra pounds for! It will be a reunion of sorts as I don't go to my home town anymore and will have plenty of people to catch up with.

I too had an episode with a mango a few weeks ago, the kids insisted I buy one as I never have as I am not that keen on them. I puzzled over how I was going to cut it and then thought I would cut it like and avocado and take the stone out.. ha ha.. no go.. anyway got some decent sized pieces off it, the kids hated it and I got to eat it all.. ha ha. The nectarines and peaches we get here now are nothing like we used too, they go off in a few days and are very small and sometimes hard. I remember when they used to be huge and juicy.. they only come up from a few hours away but I guess all the best gets exported these days.

Well I won't be back till Monday so hope to see you then Shad and have a good w/end all.. my new years resolution was not to spend money on junk and I tell you that is harder than losing weight!!! ka kite..

Funny story about the mango Shaker, that's about the same way it went down with me too. Guess we both learned it's not like an avocado! Your peaches and nectarines sound like what we get over the winter. They are pretty looking on the outside but rock hard. When you get them ripened they wither quickly and are rather "chewy". I stick with the summer ones which are ripe and juicy and just what they should be. We must both import from the same country - haha.

Your friend's wedding sounds like fun, especially being able to go back to the hometown. And if you are feeling all that much better about yourself, all the better. Is DH enjoying his Harley?

So will it be a lonely weekend on the thread for me here all alone? Perhaps it is a sign that I should tackle my own to-do list also.

I went and got my hair cut and colored again tonight. When I got home DH said the school called and they have once again cancelled my class due to low enrollment. I was supposed to start next week. Ordinarilly I would be happy but this is the second time they cancelled it and I need it for my certificate program completion. Because they gave me enough notice, I can still register for another class next week without losing any class time. And I have to keep plugging away with school because I refuse to do the accellerated summer semester and if I stop now, I won't go back again.

I have been doing well on plan this week. Not perfect but watching portion control, trying to control cravings and starting back with exercise again. Not sure if I will see a loss this week but I do have the satisfaction of knowing I have made success in other areas.

Little by little, I say. Have a good weekend everyone!

Oh bother.I lost the original post so I will start again.No news really.Why is it that if I eat more at lunchtime, I feel hungrier during the afternoon than if I simply have a cup-a-soup? I have been trying to follow the eDiets plan so had a grilled bacon sandwich for breakfast and a grilled cheese sandwich and tomatos for lunch.Now, one hour later, I am hungry
Today I feel in quite a grumpy mood. Sorry. It is all to do with the fact that 20 years ago today, I started my general nurse training, expecting to be still in the thick of it for some 40 years, instead of which here am I, medically retired, rising 40 years old and unhappy, dissatisfied and with no real (or imaginary) plan for the rest of my life.Hmmmmmn.I think I had better go and come back tomorrow when, hopefully, my mood will be more sanguine!!

Shad, SHAD!!!Where are you?????Come back, we need you!!:

Well now, I thought I would have a new look for the new year! Shame that is not the same as changing your body image!!

What?? No-one in this evening!!Ah well, thought I had better bump us up from page 1-near-the-bottom!!

Sorry Teel, at the time you were posting, that was just as I was finishing up work for the day, putting dinner in the oven and getting ready to exercise. I really like your new Avatar. Why are skies always bluer the colder it is outside?

I see that you said you are hungry. Perhaps you are getting too much bread and not enough protein. Maybe it's time to drag out the crockpot again and make yourself some nice soups and stews with lots of meat and veggies. Stick to the ribs kind of stuff. I've been paying close attention to what I eat and how I feel afterwards. Found that if I have something sweet with the meal it really brings on the cravings for more food in a short while. Not craving anything specific, just more food to stuff in my mouth. I made a sausage and bean stew in the slow cooker last week. It was warm and quite filling.

I know that your life of late has been full of pain and stress and probably some justified anger but please do not dwell on what might have been. I have 2 friends who have been nurses for over 25 years. They both speak of the toll the job has taken on their bodies - with our private health care the the continuing practice of insurance companies trying to keep their practice, our health care has been compromised. Not only are my friends bodies worn out, but they are also made to do the work of 3 people and they simply can't give the kind of care to patients that they want to. And that makes them sad and angry. Both said they do not know any other kind of work and are counting the days to retirement. One in fact was looking at the possibility of doing medical billing as an alternate career.

You are kind and compassionate and know what it's like to deal with incredible pain. There are many people who could use a loving hand and emotional support. It is indeed not fair what life has dealt but you are by no means finished with your work here. The hardest part is finding the next step.

to you

Shad, I hope we hear from you soon. I am starting to encounter withdrawal symptoms...

Yep, c'est moi and it is 10 to 6 on a sunny Queensland Sunday. We will all begin to dry out today I think.
First a huge thanks to you ladies on this thread and also to Mooz and MEL for the care and love I felt flowing across the world. I am pleased to say the worst is over now and I have lost the totally overwhelmed feeling I had. Also I have lost a fairly large list of things to do. They have been scattered to the four winds. This is not to say that they don't still need doing, they do, but I have adopted a theory from a female accountant I knew some years ago who said that if the problem sat in her in box for six months, then it wasn't much of a problem. If it reared it's ugly head before that then it would get done. Otherwise it died a slow death in the inbox. Actually she also had a saying about her inboxes - There was the impending file (inbox) the expending file (the out box) and the depending file (depending on when she felt like doing it!)
I've been carrying on at the gym. I have a small program mapped out for me by the trainer, however I don't think that it will end up all that small. I have already upped the weights that he gave me as it did not feel like I was stretching or pulling anything. And there is not enough cardio in there. Weights alone will not shift the flab. I did a pump class the other day but have not got back for the body balance yet. The timetable doesn't always suit.
The last week has been a time of what is known in Queensland as 'The Big Wet'. We have had buckets of rain dumped on us and also storms nearly every day. Some places north and south of here have had hail and wind damage to their houses and yards. We had a storm blow up out of nowhere yesterday afternoon and that same storm caused a problem with one of the theme park rides at Dreamworld on the Gold Coast. People stuck on the ride for more than an hour after a tree blew over onto the ride and injured several people. My front yard has been underwater for several days as the drainage has not been able to cope with the deluge (Shad the Engineer did not allow for the slope of the land and the water in summer when planning out the garden. Shad the Engineer has learned much since!). We are told that this is the wettest summer all over the State in 12 years. But at least the raintank is now full.
Today I have a couple of jobs on my plate and I also need to pack for Perth. I wasn't supposed to be going there, but someone else decided not to go and I got the job. I'll be gone for a week and possibly the following weekend being Australia Day Weekend. Because this is a long weekend I have asked them to put back my Friday flight and I will spend the weekend in Western Australia to try to get some touristy things done and maybe also meet with a lady whom I speak to on the phone once or twice a year and whom I have never met. We got to know each other through a job about 1990-91.
It's good to be back and great to see Shaker back and hanging on to the reins of a family racing in different directions household. Cherish the good weather Shaker. They are having some good stuff in Wellington and the SI as well. I used to really love those hot summers in the South Island. Mind you everytime you walked out into the sun you burned to a crisp. It was so dry. None of the humidity that we get here with the heat. I don't burn here, just turn a bit red and go brown overnight.
Must be time for Kim to come in and report on things as well!
Teel, there is something out there for you. It's a matter of finding the door that will open and show you the way. You have a valuable hunk of knowledge floating in that brain. Just where to use it and how.
One thing I have found over the years is that there are two varieties of people who have pensions.
The first is the person who doesn't really want to be there. They have a vast store of personal integrity and are usually bright, friendly and educated. They are there through no fault of their own and they do not get what they deserve. These are the people that this system was set up for. These people also tend to get very depressed because they can not contribute the way that they used to.
The other is the hanger on, the one who takes, takes, takes and takes some more and when the going gets rough tries to take more advantage of their sometimes minor situation. They do not want to work, or contribute anything to this world.
You my friend belong in the first category. And the DSW is treating you very badly indeed. It always amazes me how they can intimidate the helpless and hold little accountability themselves. Try taking them to court! Anyway what is your SW doing about it?
Maybe we should find some Psych doc who needs his experimental note typed up for his lectures on the intractable pulsating brain nodes or something.
Well I think I have rambled enough for my first day back. I'll try to catch up as and when I can in Perth.
Have a good weekend Happy and a good Sunday to Teel, and Shaker is probably getting close to Sunday lunch.
to you all. Your kept me going upwards again.