melissa, i agree. vickie needs hunter's orange on or something bright like that. i am sorry you're not having a good evening. i hope you have a good day at work tomorrow. did you apply for another job? i'm thinking you were looking into doing that here while back.

I sent my resume in for one and am working on a cover letter for another. But honestly I don't have much hope for moving, and I haven't found anything that I REALLY want to do anyway. I miss doing youth ministry like crazy but there just doesn't seem to be a place for me to do that right now. I don't know what to do.

Vickie - come out come out wherever you are???? How was the game?

Lisa

Kathy - how are you doing today? Hope you are feeling better with daylight and some sleep???

Melissa -I so agree about the "sunday night back to work blues" - both dh and I suffer terribly from this and try not to talk about anything super important or make any difficult decisions - seems we just need to relax and stop worrying about things (which I confess I was doing while falling asleep - was running thru all Monday's meetings and work to be done and had to make myself stop so I could eventually get to sleep!)

Vickie - hope you have thawed out and that you enjoyed yourself at the game!

Sandra - how are you doing today? I am trying to focus on "one day at a time" or even one meal at a time - and keep count of all my nsv's in one day - hoping this will help keep me motivated?

So far (11:45 am) I am on track and PROUD OF IT - as I avoided a big basket of chewy chocolate chip cookies and a box of doughnuts at our two hour meeting this morning. I had my 2 cups of decaf w/light cream (and had my cottage cheese before the meeting). I did sample a few banana chips which a work colleague just brought back from her trip to South America - but at least that was the most "core like" snack available!

I am gearing up for my couscous salad lunch w/lots of water - wish me luck!

I did do some thinking last night too based on what my gf was telling me (why do I overeat) and the saddest thing of all is I think I eat to cover my pain! I am numbing myself w/food! How horrible is that? I also realized that feeling the pain is so OVERWHELMING FOR ME I can't imagine doing that too much. I have so many things I am sad about and that can't be fixed right now - and it really hurts me deep down. But I don't want to feel that pain cuz it is too much - like I need to shut myself into a padded insulated room and just cry my brains out - and the truth is I don't think that would even help! Yes I would feel the pain - but so much of it at one time would just crush me and I don't think I could survive! So I am going to try not to eat to numb or anesthesize myself - yet I can't truly let all that pain out right now? Will see how this goes? Anyone else feel like this?

Frouf

Frouf, I know exactly what you mean about the pain. Exactly. I just use other self-destructive means to mask mine. There are times when I don't think I can take it one more minute. The emotional roller-coaster I ride every day has worn me down to a big pile of nothingness, and it feels pretty depressing to know there's no solution.

The evening was horrible, and I didn't sleep, and now I sit here at work with a big stomachache and headache and heartache. I sure wish things were better, but wishing doesn't make it so.

I suspect Vickie followed thru with her plan to sleep in this morning. Hopefully she'll be here with a game report later. At least they won, though I'm sure the fans were starting to worry toward the end.

I have decided that no non-Core foods will pass these lips for at least a week, except of course for my morning Coke which will come from the 35 WPAs. If I make it a week, I'll try for another week. Then another. We'll see. I'm hoping that by Christmas I can be to a stopping point and then try and maintain that.

Froufy and Kathy you need to release that stress somehow. I recently found out that if you take a film canister(from cameras) and fill it half full with your tears , then have a spider drink it,,,do you know what happens to the spider?? He dies!(true) Our bodies have toxins in them that arent healthy for us....so go ahead and cry if thats what it takes to release stress.....its good for you. It may not solve your problems or get rid of whats creating the stress but it will do your body good.......and hopefully your mind and heart too.

Boy howdy, I'd have to do a whole lot of crying to fill half a film canister. One of my problems is that I always feel like I'm on the verge of tears, but nothing happens. I guess I'm not a cryer. :(

Oh i could sure fill a few canisters - I don't just want to cry - but loud sobbing works best for me - likely I could kill a whole colony of spiders! I obviously have a lot to cry about - I know I can't turn the clock back, and that's part of the pain I guess. That I did not see what was happening - that I should have done things differently. Now it's too late - of course I am doing damage control and trying to "repair" what I can - but it won't be the same. Like a broken bone - of course you can mend it - and it might almost work like it used to - but in reality - it will never be as strong or good or useful as it was before the damage was done! This makes me the saddest of all!

Frouf:(

:wave: Here I am! :wave: I went to bed at 2:45 this morning and didn't get up until 10:45 this morning when our telephone started to ring off the hook. Seems all our our close friends and family (even the non-sports, non-White Sox fans) wanted to call to see how happy we were and to hear all about the game. It's been no secret with all of our friends and coworkers how rabid and loyal we've been all these years.

I am the happiest White Sox fan (with the exception of Jim) on this earth this afternoon. I'll be back with a report. But first, I have to go read what's been up with all of you.

It's a good thing that I can type to talk to all of you since I have no voice.

:grouphug: Wow, girls we all need to give group hugs all around. :grouphug: I'm so sad :stress: to hear how everyone is struggling. I can tell you that emotional eating has been a problem for me all my life. For many years I have eaten to cover my anger. I was taught as a child that anger was not an appropriate emotional response to display. So, whenever I got angry, I'd eat. Food has become a comfort to me over the years. Eventually, I'd eat in response to any negative emotions. I think we just have to keep reminding ourselves that eating, just like alcohol or any other drug, is ONLY A MOMENTARY FIX. When we are done eating, and gaining, we still have the original problem or sadness added to the depression about gaining weight.

It seems to me that many of us share a syndrome. I wish I was clever enough to coin a phrase for it. We are peacemakers and put everyone else first in our lives. In my opinion, we CANNOT continue to behave in this way if we truly want to achieve our weight loss goals.

Kathy and Frouf have talked about needing "me" time. I say GO FOR IT ladies. Both of your lives are so tumultuous that I don't know how you ever lose any weight at all or keep off what you have lost, for that matter. If you don't start to take care of yourselves or put yourselves first once in a while there may be no you left for your families. I think sometimes families take advantage. But you guys are my friends and I'd like to see you take care of yourselves for a change. My only comparison is my decision when I retired. Now, I don't have kids and all the drama that is associated with them so this way easier for me. But, I said after retirement it is ALL going to be about me. The diet plan, the exercise, etc. If it doesn't fit into my plan it ain't happening. If you won't eat Core with me or let me eat Core by myself, then you aren't my friend. I also got out of my toxic relationships. Those I couldn't get out of, I minimized. Now I know you can't be this extreme, but I'm begging you to put yourselves first just once in a while. Ok, I'm off my soapbox now. But you all know that it comes from a very loving place, don't you?

Melissa, you are tired and stressed, I'm sure because you are unhappy with your job. Now that Aaron is working, I hope you find something that will give you joy and I hope you find it soon. Nothing should be more important than finding a new job for yourself. I bet you'll see soon that you'll be feeling better.

Sandra, I'm so happy to hear that your trip was beautiful. I'm especially happy to hear that your Coach is so fabulous. Curtis must have felt proud that he is teaching the same things that this world renowned Coach is teaching. You and I are in similar places. Life is good, we're retired, and can afford to be relaxed and carefree. Sometimes it's hard to focus but we need to so that we can be happy and healthy with Curtis and Jim for a long time.

Kath, our friend made Jim a White Sox quilt for his 50th. It has the Scoreboard and our friend the organist on it (and us) and all kinds of beautiful memories. It is one of our prized possessions. You are a talented and wonderful woman. I hope you can celebrate that.

Patti, I too, believe in the power of releasing toxins through tears. I cry easily and often and always feel better later.

I'll be back in a bit! I hope I can find a way to inspire us all into losing mode again soon. :cheer:

Well, here is the post game report! First of all thanks to all of you for being ever so patient with your White Sox Friend. I've been a little out of my mind. I'll try to give you all the short version. And Melissa, you just might be the sweetest ever. I can't believe you turned on the game and don't even like baseball! Don't I feel special!

We didn't go to our seats until the game started because it was raining....hard. Dried off the seat and were fine until the 4th inning when it started to rain again, first lightly then......hard. I put up my hood and stayed in the seats. I was soaked through by the end of the game. I was so happy that I didn't care. I wish we had purchased the plastic ponchos for over our coats. We were never able to get into the gift shop because the wait in the line would have made us miss a few innings, which we were NOT willing to do.

The Paul Konerko grand slam came directly to our section. It probably landed in row 6 and we were in row 25. I CANNOT explain the feeling of that ball coming out to the outfield. Everything was in slow motion and the ball just kept getting larger and larger. At some point my brain registered that with the speed and height and the sound it made coming off the bat that it was indeed going to be a grand slam home run to give us the lead. I jumped up and down with Jim and screamed so loud and so long that I thought I was going to faint. Yeah, I gotta tell you that I'm sure I broke some eardrums. I could hear myself. It was that high loud pitched girlie scream. We high fived and hugged strangers and I cried (what a surprise)! I never saw the homerun fireworks that went off right over my head because I was still screaming and jumping. I've never heard noise like that in a crowd ever before in my life (at least not again until the bottom of the 9th).

We stood for the entire 8th inning. When the Astros tied up the game we were sad but of course never gave up hope. I told Jim that we would win in the bottom of the 9th with a walk off home run. And....we did! The fans went wild. A half hour after the game ended, no one wanted to go home. We stayed about an hour after the game and went home happy campers. I'm still VERY tired and I'm thinking that there is a nap in my immediate future. Dinner will be late tonight and I have no idea what it will be.

I heard from the doctor that I do not have a UTI but have some type of cystitis (irritation). The ultrasound is Wednesay and we should know more by then. He won't give me more antibiotics so I'm not sure what I'll do to manage the pain. They suggested ibuprofen (which irritates my stomach) or Uristat until Thursday. My heel is killing me too. So, I'm a bit disabled at the moment but very happy!

omg Vickie,,,,,,,what a game!! I dont watch baseball (except when Toronto wonhaha)
but soundslike you had the most fantastic time. Good for you........sorry about the irratation,,,,hope it clears up soon. Good thing you got to the dr to check it out.

Wow - Vickie - even i got excited about baseball after reading your report - How exciting for you and I can certainly see how you are hoarse and tired today. Hope the soaking does not have any aftereffects and that you catch up on your rest.

Sorry about the cystitis and I hope you can get some good treatment for that!

I am proud to say i MADE IT THRU THE DAY - YES I HAD A MODICUM OF CONTROL FOR ONE ENTIRE DAY - I feel kinda silly saying this but for me it is a breakthrough really - there were a few tense moments when I got home from work and kitchen was a mess, and dh was napping yet again and I just lost it - had marinated chicken yesterday and assumed (wrongly?) that maybe some cooking would be happening?

My first instinct was to just give up and eat anything - I was so frustrated with the situation. Instead I maded dh empty and reload dishwasher and make order in the kitchen. I hauled the frying pan, sliced some mushrooms and onions and sauteed the marinated chicken breasts. Cooked up some brocolli in the microwave - then tossed the whole wheat pasta w/the brocolli and cut up chicken and onion/shrooms - it was very, very good!

Then went out with dd and ds for costume shopping and dance class. I was still PRETTY HUNGRY and not sure what to do! Ended up taking ds to Starbucks while dd danced and thank goodness they had a FRESH FRUIT SALAD so I had that w/my fave decaf nf cappucino and while I am still feeling a bit empty I intend to go to bed very soon. I am very proud of myself at least for this one day!

Melissa - what are you up to? Sandra - where r you? Kathy - how are you feeling tonight?

Now dh is home and big ds is in BIG TROUBLE - he is on the phone in the den - and dh hears his shower running! He is livid now - and ds still on the phone - says he is steaming his sweater to get the wrinkles out?? Can you believe this? All lights on in the basement (remember he's upstairs in the den) and the bathroom is dripping and wet with steam pouring out everywhere so his precious sweater is not wrinkled! I of course will need to "blast" him for hit - he has so sense of $$ or anything - we have no idea how long the water was running and let's hope the water tank refills before morning showers! (did I mention washer/dryer also running?).

Oh ya - and there was a nice bright pink/orange stain on my kitchen floor which I noticed this evening - looks like big ds had a run in with a can of tomato soup - obviously fell on the floor? He made a feeble attempt at cleaning it up - but obviously still very noticeable (along with tomato soup splotches on counters, cabinets and burner knobs). Had to call him on his cell to see what happened - he played pretty dumb, had no idea what I was talking about. Told him there better be a sparkling clean floor when i got home - while I like pink - I don't like it on my white speckled kitchen floor!

Yes Vickie I definitely need some "me" time - maybe a month or two should do it?

Frouf

Frouf, it does sound like you had a day to be proud of. DH should be grounded for not helping out. The least he could do is cook dinner. When Jim retired before me for those 18 months, he did all the laundry, grocery shopping and all the errands. The only think I had to do was cook the entree when I came home. He had done most of the prep. I wish there was some way to get him to realize that he SHOULD be doing that stuff for you without making you tell him. Kinda can't blame DH for being made at bid DS. It kinda sounds like he is taking advantage and doesn't respect the impact his actions are having on your financial situation. Surprising since it sounds like he's really a bright kid.

Patti, you're sweet and thanks for the good wishes on my medical situation. I'm sure hoping it's nothing serious.

Well, I'm off to shower. I'll be back here in the morning and I'll be on program!

Wow......no Sandra or Melissa today. Certainly not a good sign.

I am a Dodger fan, here in Los Angeles, but the first World Series I ever went to was the 1959 World Series with the White Sox. This year, they deserve to win and you fans who have stuck by them through thick and thin .. deserve it also. I watched the game last night while eating my Jenny Craig popcorn .. able to enjoy baseball and my snack at the same time. Go White Sox!