Good morning all you wonderful ladies. Here's to a great month for all of us. Happy, I see you have an inner Viruqua as well. That little spoiled three year old that wants what she wants NOW. I battle her a lot. I think that is the battle between how we have trained ourselves to be and do, and what we know in our minds is the right thing to do. all part of developing new habits.
I have a ton of cleaning, work, horses, gym, and yoga to do today. I hope you all have a great day, and I will check in later.
August is a new beginning for me in so many areas of my life. I reached some important realizations very recently (that you Jolly for letting me ramble on in my e-mails to you).
One, over analyzing gets me stuck in the mire. Two, I do not want to be "normal" I want to be BETTER. Three, my goals and dreams can be integrated, they do not have to be separate issues fighting for my attention.
At some point, I just have to say to myself "do you want this? are you willing to do what it's going to take? yes, or no?" If the answer is yes, then do it. If the answer is no... oh well. It's not going to happen.
If I want to be better, more powerful, stronger, leaner, meaner, tougher, add your preferred adjective here, then I need to understand I must push harder, expect more, and perform to a higher level. That's a fact. The resentment I feel, the chip on my shoulder, has no place in my life if I want this for myself. There is no one to be angry with anymore, this is not being forced on me by anyone. These are MY dreams, MY goals, MY desires. Do I want it, or not?
In February, I will be (assuming my tax return is what I think it will be) getting on a plane to Arizona to attend my orientation training for the AANHCP (American Association of Natural Hoofcare Practitioners). I met one of my mentors on Friday, and she's a very cool chick. I cannot accept that I will get on that plane 50 pounds overweight and out of shape. Also, if I'm going to be running my own business, I need to get organized about money and taxes. So then... my dreams all have become one focused arrow pointing to my passion of working with horses for a living. I knew somehow that would happen, I just wasn't sure how. Now I know.
Yesterday I did my 3 mile walk/run on the treadmill. Between the heat and lack of exercise for the last three months, it nearly killed me. But I did it, and I'll do it again tomorrow. Today, I did my 20 minute pilates routine. I thought I was going to throw a brick through the TV (again). I remember THAT feeling. It kicked my butt. OTOH, I love the way my stomach feels after just ONE session.
I will not spend time on "why did I let myself go for three months!?" I will look forward over the next seven months and observe the changes, focus on the goals, and realize this is the rest of my life I'm talking about, not just a short term thing. The spirit is willing, let the flesh be strong!
Good morning everyone. Raven, thanks for starting up the new thread. It's the 2nd here already and I'm contemplating whether I go to work or not. I'm in a bad way, actually. Too many problems at work. I'm feeling used and then ignored, like a faithful servant who is summoned, then dismissed and never , ever allowed to really be one of the family. I'm surely not the only one who feels this way as this has always been the atmosphere in our company. It is Japanese-run and the foreigners are treated little better than slaves. Recently, however, I'm feeling it more than ever as the company is in dire straits and there seems to be a growing feeling of animosity coming from the Japanese and especially those in charge. The foreigners are demoralized and rightfully so and I'm just giving up hope.
It doesn't help that this seems to be reflected in all aspects of my life, my inability to lose weight or progress in my riding. Yesterday I was very close to tears during my lesson. I try so hard and yet don't seem to make progress. I know that if I don't break from this attitude it will only get worse. But how to break from it when I have absolutely no glimmer of success anywhere. This is really really bad and I'm sorry to dump it on you but I'm slipping into a state of paralysis.
Really need to shake myself out of this.
Raven -- reading your post I think you're similar in that you over-analyze things, feelings and attitudes and yes, if we just keep mulling them we're probably just going to get more of the same. I tried to do the positive thinking approach but it just didn't work. I felt like an idiot saying things are ok to myself when they sure as **** aren't, saying they're going to get better when I haven't seen them get better in years. I think, as you say, the trick may be in just deciding on a plan and sticking to it. This is so hard and because I've let things slide so far little baby steps are almost invisible. They give me no feeling of satisfaction and all the things I don't want to be doing but have to be just to pay the bills give me next to no time to work on myself and these baby steps. But we've got to and what better time than with the beginning of a new month.
I'm glad to hear you're planning to go to see more about this hoof-care education. But Raven, why are you worrying about being 50 lbs overweight at this point? Getting on that plane and getting going in this new endeavor will probably be just what you need for the weight to start coming off seemingly effortlessly. Don't put the cart before the horse. But I know how you feel. Yesterday I spent a ton of money on magazines and books, money I don't have. But I said to myself, I need this, I need the inspiration. I need to give myself something to aim for and to pull myself away from the muck of a mindset I've been wallowing in. So I bought magazines and plan to make a collage of pictures that embody the look I want, and I don't mean that in just the external, cosmetic sense. I mean, for example, a picture that to me symbolizes what I want even in abstract terms, such as a quiet woods for serenity or a smiling child for a curiosity about new things, a blue sky and white clouds for a feeling of calm and hope. Japanese magazines depress me with all their pictures of women with whom I can't, don't want to, relate to. So I splurged on foreign magazines.
Well, I must get moving here so I can at least be ready to go to work if I so decided.
Check on you all later.
Last edited by redballoon; 08-01-2004 at 06:27 PM.
Hey all. Pretty good day here. Hopped on the scale to see how it looked after the family party yesterday. Did a bit more cardio to compensate. Did not do my yoga tape, but did walk down to the local festival going on.
Raven I am so happy for you. The steps you are making. Taking that jump into a new avocation. You are an inspiration. And congrats on getting back to working out. My aerobics instructor had us do some Pilates leg moves Friday - I thought I would die. She said she did them while watching tv. I figure that would be the fastest way to get me to stop watching tv.
Red, I am sorry you are having such a rough time of it right now. There are two things that help me through bad times. 1) remind myself that everything I do is a choice. It helps for me to take the stigma of "good" or "bad" out of myeating. It is just a choice. some choices are better than others. Some choices may make it take longer to get to my goal. But it is just a choice. If I can think about what I am doing a little bit more, it seems to help keep me from sliding into mindless eating, or couch sitting. 2) Have a back up plan. Trying to make major changes in your lifestyle and habits while the world is crashing in around you doesn't work. You have to decide what is ok, while you sort out the top priorities, so you don't backslide or feel bad about yourself, but aren't adding more stress to your world. Like I said - just things that work for me.
Have a great evening (or day) all, and talk more tomorrow. Welcome back Derry.
Can't believe I just typed this enourmously long post and then my computer went nuts and I lost it...... wonder if it's this web site or me?
At any rate, I weighed myself this morning and I stayed exactly the same while away. I guess that is a good thing considering how "bad" I was during the week. I think what saved me from a huge gain was making a promise to myself to spend at least 40 minutes exercising while I was gone.
So, Red, and anyone else who took my challenge for the week? Any losses? Am I donating money to the food pantry or not?
Raven, way to go with those goals! I you set acheivable "sub" goals along your path, I think it will help out. If you say you will lose 50 pounds by February, that is quite overwhelming. Maybe you can divide that into weekly or monthly smaller goals to keep on target? Also, set up rewards (not food!) for when you realize those goals. I still OWE myself a 10 pound reward of a new dress, but I think I am going to change it to pants. Didn't have time to shop while I was on vacation. My budget is a bit low right now, but I can maybe buy them at a thrift shop or on sale?
Red, I feel so badly about your job situation. Sounds like you've been really having rough times. But, as the old saying goes.....when the going get's tough, the tough get going. Maybe you should look for another job? Is that possible for you to do? Maybe putting on a happy face and setting your mind to a positive stance might help combat these things as well. I know how defeating having a rough job situation can be due to Lancelot's job thing with his boss "Whacky", wasn't that what we called him? Lancelot spent time every day on his laptop and was on the cell phone while we were on vacation, but I ignored it and didn't make matters worse by making remarks about his lack of freedom, etc.
Upon return home, yesterday, he spent time on line seeking out other jobs and sent his resume in of a few of them. I'm hopeful.
So, before my computer goes nuts again, I'm going to finish this post!
Going grocery shopping this morning with the intent of buying very healthy items to have on hand this week!
Take care and have a good Monday (or Tuesday???) to all!
Linda
Oh yes, don't know if this link will work, but here are a few family photos I took this past week. None of me, though, I was the photographer! My kids, family, summer camp, boats, Lancelot sailing and cat watching the squirrel on the birdfeeder are there. You guys might like to see what summer in the mountains on a lake in NH looks like! http://www.ofoto.com/BrowsePhotos.js...1&sort_order=0
Good morning all. Derry, congrats on staying the same. It is great that you were able to go, have a good time, not feel like you had to sacrifice anything, and not gain weight. Way to go!
Well, in spite of the fact that I'm feeling a little puny ... (my tummy is upset, yuck) I did my standard 2 miles on the treadmill. Again, it took me longer than it would have 3 months ago, but that is understandable. Tomorrow morning it will be pilates again.
My eating is fairly good, could be better, but that will take care of itself.
Derry - Good work on keeping the weight the same during the vacation! Yes, I do set mini goals for myself. But I also know I have a long term goal, and it helps me to see a long term path. I aim for 7 pounds a month. As far as rewards? My reward is my weight loss. I've never been able to get anything out of spending money on myself because I lost weight - that's never been an incentive. My reward really is the goal achieved. That feeling beats anything else I've ever tried.
Jolly - I love the idea of using pilates as a reason to not watch TV. It is still about the most effective program I have found for working the core muscles.
Red - I wish I could reach through the monitor and give you a big hug. I know what it's like to be stuck. To feel unappreciated, taken advantage of in a work situation. I know there aren't any easy answers, too. And sometimes it just poisons everything else in your life. It becomes very difficult to sort out what you really feel bad about, and what you feel bad about because it's bleedover from the work situation. And I think that's why I had to step back for these last several months. I needed to figure out exactly what direction I was headed in... if any. It's very difficult to focus on losing weight, eating right, working out - if what you are REALLY concerned about is something else altogether. Resentment about being stuck in a deadend job that is frustrating for you can cause resentment in so many other areas. As far as why I'm worrying about being 50 pounds overweight when I (hopefully) start my certification program in February... For so many reasons, it is simply not acceptable to me. I know what to do, I know how to do this, and using waiting to start my new path is simply allowing myself to use another excuse, allowing myself to rationalize 7 more months away. Every once in a while, you just know the time is right to strike. Right now, I know I can do this. In 3 months, or 5, or 7, I might stumble and fall again. I've learned to take advantage of motivation when it crawls into my life.
A saying I saw today.. "A goal is just a dream with a deadline." It made me smile when I read that... though I will say that for me it isn't so much a "deadline" as it is an ETA. So I have dreams, and I'm making them goals, and I'll get there as soon as I can. That works for me.
Jolly: OH MY GOSH! FIVE POUNDS?? Way to go, girl. I'm so proud of you and need to get my butt back to being focused. Just one of those things.
Raven: I'm so happy you are pursuing your dream. I am so excited for you!
Derry: Welcome back. Great job on staying the same.
Happy: Howdy! Here's to getting back in the swing of things.
Okay, ladies, although I've done well these past two months, it's no where near where I want to be. I've been slacking where the eating has been concerned, so that stops today. I'm tired of working out so much just to undo what I did wrong with food choices.
Surgery is next week for me. I want to have 35 pounds gone by then, which is only two more pounds. I weighed this morning at home and am up three pounds from the weekend, which isn't bad considering I'm usually up twice that much. Gosh, I'd be a heck of a lot skinnier had I not been messing up a lot.
So, my goals for this month are:
1. Lose 35 WW pounds by Wednesday, August 11th. (Surgery date) I am going to weighin at WW on Tuesday so I can have an official weight before the surgery.
2. Stick to the food plan exactly. I won't have the luxury of exercise for a couple of weeks, so I need to be extra careful with food.
3. Exercise as I can. I know it's going to be tough getting back into the swing of things once I have surgery, so I must not push myself too much.
4. Be down 40 pounds by the end of the month on WW scales. That will put me at needing to be down 7 pounds this month, and I think I can do that.
I'd love to write more, but don't really have time this morning. Be good this month and I'll check in as time permits until next Tuesday.
I didn't realize it had been so long since I had been here! Things are crazy, trying to fit in last minute trips and preparing for school to start Wednesday.
We went to Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom last week and had a ball. My brother had his son for a week so we took a mini vacation.
Shopping for school is finished except for supplies, waiting for a list, my brother is now divorced and came out of it pretty good, she tried to screw him but it didn't work Gary put in his notice on his second job, I'm so glad, maybe things will be a little more normal around here.
Didn't read all of the posts that I missed so I'm assuming all of you have done well on weight loss? I haven't done worth This week I have had more than one cookie and twinkie fest. I feel like a stuffed Christmas turkey. Fat, bloated, no self control. I get up everyday thinking today is going to be that day that I make all the way through without cheating. Yeah right, I haven't seen the day yet. I have no idea why I'm having such a hard time getting control over myself. I guess I will kep working on myself and go from there.
We are having a luau later this month. I can't wait. I have wanted to have one for the past few years but have not got around to it. We have beachcomber hats, grass skirts, luau decorations, the whole nine yards. I just can't wait! It will be so much fun.
Hope everyone here is doing well and being very sucessful. Have a wonderful day girls, talk to you later
Hey all. Just a quick check in. Looks like we have all found our motivation for the month. Hurray for us. Welcome back, Hippee. Glad to hear from you again. Hope things are going better for your brother and his son.
I have to finish stuff up for TOPS tomorrow. will post more tomorrow. Congrats on the workout, Raven. Slow and steady. YOu can do it.
Quickie check in - my stomach isn't upset today, which is a relief. Now my throat is sore. *sigh* Last night I decided to give myself this morning off to get in more sleep and let my abs heal because they are still sore from the pilates on *Sunday!* Tomorrow will be treadmill again, then pilates on Thu, etc. I'm starting on the Couch Potato to 5K, so we'll see how it goes.
My food isn't great because of the money *again* so it's what I can afford/scrounge up in the house. Thursday is payday, so I'll be doing my grocery shopping for the healthy stuff. I'm not eating really badly, though, just not as well as I could be.
Water hasn't been great because the thought of drinking water with an upset stomach was not appetizing at all. Hopefully today I'll be able to get back to that. Stupid virus, go away!
Chachee - Surgery is next week.. wow! Time flies.... Hang in there, girl!
Jolly - Sounds like you're back in the groove and doing fine.. good for you!
Good morning all. I picked up some information on my gym's dietician services. I figure, right now I am losing weight with making small changes in diet, and exercising like crazy. Eventually though, this will slow down. I will have to really look at diet to get the last pounds off. So, I will have the information so I can get the help I need when I need it.
Rears in Gear for the New Year - August
I guess that is a good thing considering how "bad" I was during the week. I think what saved me from a huge gain was making a promise to myself to spend at least 40 minutes exercising while I was gone. 
I know how defeating having a rough job situation can be due to Lancelot's job thing with his boss "Whacky", wasn't that what we called him? Lancelot spent time every day on his laptop and was on the cell phone while we were on vacation, but I ignored it and didn't make matters worse by making remarks about his lack of freedom, etc.
I love the idea of using pilates as a reason to not watch TV. It is still about the most effective program I have found for working the core muscles. 
Gary put in his notice on his second job, I'm so glad, maybe things will be a little more normal around here.
This week I have had more than one cookie and twinkie fest. I feel like a stuffed Christmas turkey. Fat, bloated, no self control. I get up everyday thinking today is going to be that day that I make all the way through without cheating. Yeah right, I haven't seen the day yet. I have no idea why I'm having such a hard time getting control over myself. I guess I will kep working on myself and go from there.
