We had beautiful weather here over the weekend. I got out and enjoyed, ate fairly well and drank alot of water. Big improvement for me!
Raven, 2 pounds is 2 pounds! They all add up!!! I didn't know you home school your kids. I think the school systems in the whole U.S. Stinks. I believe the kids are put into categories depending where there parents work and what the tag says on their blue jeans. I have taught Jordan that the brand of your clothes doesn't make you who you are. I know people think they do. What I see is a bunch of spoiled kids that think they are better than others because they wear $60.00 jeans. I see adults that think they are better than you because their husbands work in the coal mine. Sometimes I would love to show some of those people Gary's paycheck and let them know he makes just as much money as their husbands. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. I had thought about home schooling Jordan but he wanted no part of it. Maybe because he is an only child school is better for him so he can be with other kids. I just think it's great that you take the time in your busy life to teach your kids at home.
Linda, hope things well with you son. How old is he? It's good that he was honest with you so you were able to get him some help. It's hard raising a teenager and for me it's just starting.
Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods
Posts: 8,905
S/C/G: Stuck/Working on it/Good 2 Go
Height: Fun Size
Good morning chickies,
Following along in Hippy's dust, I too have a quick check-in. The weekend was nice, got out and enjoyed some of it. We were actually up in your neck of the woods Jolly - went to some museums.
I will, I will, I will be back on track this week. 'nuff of this messing around. Not that I've been on a bender, I just need to plan the food better, portion control, regular, consistent exercise and water, water, water.
Time for a downward slide on the scales....
Here's to a good week - glass #1 of many glasses of water today! Way to go Raven on the loss for the week
Good morning. I had a very good, but busy weekend. I weighed in this morning, and had a one pound loss. I am kind of surprised, because yesterday I was overtired and overate. I really need a plan B for eating when I am overtired. I didn't go out and get extra stuff, just ate whatever was in the house that sounded good. That is really the area I am having the hardest time with - when I am tired. I am skipping the barn tonight so I can get a little extra sleep, and hope to be back on track tomorrow. Any suggestions are appreciated.
Jolly I wish I had some answers. Being too tired to care about what I'm fixing, or not having the time to spend looking at recipes and trying new ones is a problem I'm battling now. I think if it were just me, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But when I'm faced with fixing healthy, appetizing, filling, quick, cheap meals for all 4 of us.. it just gets to be too much for me to cope with sometimes when I add in everything else I need to be doing. Personally sometimes I think food occupies WAY too much importance as far as selection, etc. We have too many choices, food has become something we not only look forward to for sustinence, but for pleasure. It's not just a social thing to sit down with the family for dinner, it's a sensory thing. It's a time when we can slow down and smell good things, taste good things, relax, enjoy. I think sometimes that whole sensory thing has gotten so wrapped up in EATING that I wonder if I'll ever be able to divorce myself from it. Why can't food just be like going to the bathroom. I mean.. we don't obsess about how often or when or whatever when it comes to that. Or like taking a shower. Sure it feels good, but then it's done and that's that. Just something we need to do to get through. But no, it's more like having sex or doing a drug - it's something we think about even when we're not hungry, it's something we're hit with 25 gazillion times a day. *sigh* I'm ranting. I'm sorry. I just get tired of having to think about this so much.
So I don't LOSE this, I am typing this in another program and then will cut and paste into the 3FC reply section!
I was so annoyed to lose this really long thing I typed on Saturday. I worked very long and hard on what I had to say, then I flipped to see the photo that Raven posted (nice, by the way) and I totally lost everything. I was kind of typing while I was reading along so I could respond to something from everyone. I think we all tend to do that? AT any rate, I am not going to lose this post!!!!!
I had a great, but busy, day yesterday and didn't have time to get here and read. Naturally, the weather was part of why we had a great day. Here in NH it was probably the best day, so far, this summer. In spite of my son's issues, my husband and I went to a local town fair (same one referred to that my son went to later on here) and attended a car show. We have two antique cars and brought one of them along. It was fun! I think they had record attendance. No rain, no humidity, a perfect day - seemed like everyone from all around here was there!
The "fair" atmosphere that surrounded this gorgeous weekend, combined with the emotional stress I was feeling during the week (and still) about my son didn't help my eating this week. I really kind of blew it, but did get exercise walking around - so maybe my weigh in tomorrow will be ok? But, I am not hopeful, and considering that I was on vacation the week before and was kind of "bad", I might have a gain. But, I am solid with what I am doing and a few minor setbacks won't stop me. This is a life-long journey, so the overall success is what is important.
My son is going to the doctor this morning, but I am really glad to report that he seems so much better. He went out with a few friends, 16 of them in fact, for pizza last night. They were mostly kids from his old school before we moved. He went to the same local fair/celebration that was held in the neighboring town and bumped into several of them. Soon, they were all calling each other on cell phones and they all met, and caravanned together to the local pizza place. Wish I had a cell phone, and my friends did, when I was a teenager! They are so connected with each other nowadays. I am feeling good that he actually left the house, and that he met up with people and DID something for a change. He's been alone a great deal, hiding out in his room, and not seeing many other kids - not good for anyone. Maybe his meds are finally kicking in a bit as he went out? He has what is called "social anxiety" in addition to depression. If you can't bring yourself to socialize, then you get further and further depressed, it's kind of one of those viscious circle things, I guess?
That seemed to help him with his attitude, but he seems to have some very good days and some very bad says, it seems. We're going to the doctor and will be talking about those very bad days/nights for sure.
Raven, thanks for your understanding and kind words. My kids are so precious to me and there are times, with teens, that we parents seem to clash with them. I remember those days so well from when I was growing up. We need to stay close, understanding their needs and to try very hard to be there when they need us and know when to "let go", it's a very hard line to walk. I have to keep reminding myself, when my temper flares about things like not picking up after themselves, and other issues that I must retain my friendship with them, above all. So hard.
So glad some of you seem to be quite successful with your efforts to lose weight and keep on track. I'm going to do it this week as well!
We are going away, again, next week..... boy am I heading for trouble!
Linda
Hello all, no time to catch up here. Just wanted to check in. Am heading to the gym soon. Trying to rev up again after a very unusual afternoon nap. Boy, do I need them? This thread was getting a ways down there. Wanted to bump it up. Will try to write later.
Wishing you all the best. Hope you're accumulating NSVs and otherwise and will report in soon!
Just a quickie... Virus infected my machine at work, so yesterday worked late getting it squared away as best I could. This morning more time cleaning off files from my machine and a co-worker's machine. Woo.
I must be doing something right, the scale is moving down slowly but surely. MUCH better than moving up, like it was.
Linda - I'm so glad your weekend was a good one, and that your son was able to spend time with his friends. It's amazing how we withdraw so much when we need people the most.
Red - If I nap, I'm useless. Course there are those who would argue I don't need a nap to achieve that status.
Getting better at staying OP foodwise. Still not perfect... when I was here past 6 last night I had a meltdown and grabbed a snickers bar. Between the frustration of the virus, the hunger, and the tiredness... yeah well, it was a lost cause, I'm afraid. Spent some hours alone at the barn last night surrounded by my horses. No kids. I needed the quiet. I just went out to the pasture, fed them and listened to the wonderful munching sounds in the twilight and breathed in their smell and leaned against them. There is no better therapy, I swear it.
Hey all. I need some kicks in the rear. I am not making horrible choices. No pints of ice cream, pounds of cookies, etc. But, I am self medicating with food right now. I don't want to do that, even if it isn't with really really bad food. I just refuse to go back down that path. It is funny, too, as part of it is due to increased expectations of myself. I expect to eat healthier. so, one day of not so good eating, I felt bad, so ate some more. Then, 2 days of bad eating, and I feel worse, so here I am eating more today. At least I am still exercising well. And, I am not withdrawing from everyone. I am trying to fix it.
I will remind myself it is all about choices. All poor choices do is make my journey to good health take longer. It does not define who I am. I WILL have a good day.
Raven, your self therapy with the horses sounds really cool. I'm not a horse person, but there are times when I need peace and it sounds like you were able to do just that!
Jolly, I think you and I are in some limbo kind of thing together. I got weighed this morning and was down .2, big F'n deal....No NSVs, just .2, blah..... At least I am now back t what I was before going on vacation. I want some progress, yet yesterday I couldn't stop myself from eating Lancelot's bag (the big sized bag, not the candy bar sized bag guys!) of peanut butter M&Ms. Boy was I bad.
Today, I've been better, at least, but don't feel as if I'm in good shape. For some reason, I am not as committed as I should be these last few days. Next week, we go to Rhode Island for another vacation, but will only be gone Sunday through Wednesday. I'd better be careful!
Linda
Well I know for the non-horse types this won't mean much, but I had a huge self esteem boost today in training. I put Eve (our Thoroughbred) in the round pen and taught her the difference between outside and inside turns, as well as stop and come to me. She is SO smart!!! There was a big part of me that didn't think I could do it. When I did, and then we put on a demonstration for Nickie, I was flying. What a huge rush!!
Next, my pudgy little Arashi. Getting him to even move is a success.
Food has been very good today so far. Dinner is smoked turkey sandwiches with lots of veggies.
Linda - I've been fighting that for a long time. I lost 45 pounds, I was so into it, working out 6 times a week, really enjoying everything, then... I just slid. I don't even know for sure what happened. I'm slowly turning it around again and getting back into a healthier lifestyle, but for about 2-3 months I've been really struggling.
Jolly - All I know to tell you is that if you let the days turn into weeks, they will turn into months. Do you want that to happen? The only way to avoid that is to find that core of resolve and just grit your teeth and stay OP. But you already know that... just like I do. *hug*
Congrats on the training success!
Speaking of successes, I had a horrible lesson on my birthday where I wasn't getting through to my stoic mare. Yesterday I decided to just start thinking as IF I was a good rider, an excellent rider in fact, and something clicked and clicked with her. I was sharp, right there with the leg and whip and just an overall much more wake-up-and-listen-NOW!! attitude got through. I think she is looking for that. When the male owner of the club rides her she suddenly turns into the most tuned-in dressage horse you could want (at the lower levels, at least). When others ride, she turns into a plug. I think I'm onto something there. It's all attitude and belief in what we're capable of.
OK, gotta run, just had to write when I saw your message. You said, not a big thing for non-horsey types, so I think, well, that means jolly and myself have got to hit the keys!! Good for you, Raven/
Huge congrats, Raven. You are learning to be a good trainer. You can do this. Have faith in yourself. Way to go to you too, Red, on your epiphany.
I almost did not go to my TOPS meeting last night. I have been in this spiral since Sunday. I have not been eating as well as I would like to (though really, not all THAT horribly), I feel bad about myself, I eat some more. Again, wasn't binging on large amounts of junk food, but was eating too much overall. And even little things add up. Even if I wasn't overeating, I knew I was self medicating with food. I want to stop doing that. so, I was feeling bad, and didn't want to go to my meeting. I made myself go. I knew that support and facing up to things is what I needed, so I went. And, had a loss. How? Who knows. But, that little victory was enough to help me put the last couple of days back in perspective, and move on today. Choices. Perspective. Hmmmmm.
Hope everyone else is having a great day. Talk soon
Red - thank you! And as Jolly said, congrats on your epiphany. It is the truth that if we approach our horses with a positive and clear picture of what we want, we generally get it. I think sometimes it's us that needs the training, not the horses.
Jolly - Here's something I keep seeing in your posts (paraphrased)... "I'm eating badly! (Ok, not THAT badly...)" You know what? It's bad enough to make you feel crappy about it. Perspective? Rationalizing? Are you *really* making a choice when you eat badly? Or are you eating, then rationalizing it later that it wasn't really that bad, and it was a choice, and you'll accept the consequences. Well, of course you will, you don't have much of a choice once it's on your hips. I just recognized that as something I do, too. The "it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission" routine. Sometimes I think we're getting too good at owning up to our slip-ups and getting too comfortable with them. Something for me to think about. And thank you so much for the support on the training issue. I continue to feel as though I'm a wannabe. Maybe one of these days I'll feel like I'm actually training.
On the fly here, but just wanted to comment. Jolly, I think Raven has a good point (and one for all of us). "Getting too good at owning up to our slipups," yes, I think this happens a lot with me. And yes, I'm eating a lot better than years ago, but is that my goal? ****, no! Is my eating now getting me to where I see myself a couple months down the road?! I don't think soooo..... If your choices as you like to say ARE getting you where you want to go, then fine. You did see a loss. If you want to see a bigger loss, if you want to hurry things up, or feel better about things, then maybe you need to crack the whip. If not, then relax and stop beating yourself up! It sounds like you've come very far recently so I tend to think it's the latter case. Not so with me, maybe not so with Raven. You decide.
Ok, gotta run. . . Sorry, everyone I've been not talking to. I'm reading. I will get to you. Very sorry! Please don't feel left out. I'm just in a hectic phase again. . .
Well, guys . .. Do I think that how I ate earlier this week was good? No. Is that how I want to eat? Again, no. Was I self medicating with food? Yes.
But, on the flip side, my "sins" were eating too large a portion size, and eating for the wrong reasons. But I was feeling like I had sat down to a whole pizza, half gallon of ice cream, pound of chips and dip, and a 2 pound bag of ice cream. Just for breakfast. And feeling that badly about what I ate, was making me feel worse, which led me to eat more for comfort.
That is why I said I need to keep perspective. "Cracking the whip" just makes me feel bad about myself, which is what leads me to overeat. If I can keep this in perspective, I do better and lose weight. To be succesful, I HAVE to take it out of the context of being a bad person with no self control who will never succeed always be fat and never be loved. I made a bad choice. Period. All it does is slow down my progress. And as far as rationalizing, again, my eating couldn't have been that bad, as I still had a one pound loss for the week. I was taking it out of perspective.
I know we are all different, and what we need is different. For me, I need to find that balance. Even more than a certain number on the scale, size off the rack, or even good physical health, I need self esteem. As I am finding the self esteem, the rest is falling into place. I want to develop healthy habits, so whatever weight I end up at, I stay at. I refuse to be one of the 96% that gains the weight back. Been there, done that, not gonna do it again.
- glass #1 of many glasses of water today! Way to go Raven on the loss for the week 
Bleh.
Monday morning
