[archychick]

Wow, this is a great idea! I commiserate with many confessions and feel so much compassion for others.


~ I confess that I feel that I am keeping myself fat as revenge against my husband for the resentment that he has caused in me over our 20 yr marriage. I love him dearly and he has many good points, but there are things that no amount of reworking and apology can undo.

~ I am afraid of the future slender me as I get more assertive with age.

~ I am afraid of where my new, fit body will lead me in life. I have already made a success of myself fat.

~ I plan my cocktail calories in the morning before my meal calories.

~ I pretend that it doesn't bother me that I am the fattest person among my friends at parties and in my bellydance troupe.

~ I pretend that it doesn't bother me when people raise their eyebrows when I mention that I bellydance.

[AwShucks]

Originally Posted by CarlyY

Newbie here....

I confess....I stress eat because I am still depressed about the 5 miscarriages I had before our 2nd anniversary.

I confess....I stress eat because I will never have my own children.

I confess....I stress eat because my (just turned 18 year old) stepson is hostile when it is just the two of us at home and my husband doesn't back me up when there is an issue.

I confess.....I can't wait for him to leave home, because he will not be moving back once he is gone.

I confess....I have only been married 3 years but I either pretend I am asleep or stay up later than my husband because I can't stand for him to see how fat I have gotten.

It took 10 years to get a doctor to believe me when I told them I had thyroid issues. It caused me to lose my first pregnancy.

I confess....I hate how my skinnier sister treats me like my only use is to go shopping with her and my niece and carry everything since I don't have the money or can fit into most of the stuff at the stores.

I confess...I hate how I still hear my mother telling everyone that I was her "ugly duckling".

I confess....I hate how my mother treated me as a kid and would refuse to buy me clothes until I "lost 10 or 15 lbs" but would buy my sisters anything they wanted. I still feel like I am only good enough to wear clothes off of the 70% off rack....regardless of how bad they fit or look.

Oh Carly. I don't know what to say, but if I was there, I'd give you a big hug. I'm so sorry for your fertility disappointment and harmful childhood memories.

When I was a young teen, my mother described me once as "her beautiful daughter, who happens to have a weight problem." It stung. God knew I didn't need a sister; thankfully, Mom rarely compared me to my brothers. My oldest brother is surprisingly tall and thin, and has tried unsuccessfully to conceal his disgust for me and his overweight younger brother. It sux to have that kind of dynamic in a family. We're blood, for heaven's sake! Why can't we love each other unconditionally?!

[Garnet2727]

~I confess that I'm afraid that I will ultimately fail at this weight loss effort.

~I confess that even though I've lost 53 pounds and my clothes are baggy, I keep wearing them because they make me feel small.

~I confess that thinking about my ultimate goal weight sends my into panic mode. That has led me to set mini-goals of 25 pounds at a time.

~I confess that even though I selected a number right close to the high end of normal BMI, I really don't know what my ultimate goal weight will be.

~I confess that I'm obsessed with tracking every morsel of food that passes my lips. I track three times; on Weight Watchers, on SparkPeople and on My Fitness Pal.

~I confess that the feature I despise the most about myself is my quadruple chin. I'm afraid that even if I lose weight, that blasted thing will never go away.

~I confess that I don't do as much exercise as I should. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I despise it. I haven't found a good middle ground yet.

~I confess that I am worried about becoming a wrinkled bag of skin. I've been obese for most of my life and at 48, my skin just doesn't have a lot of elasticity. I'm watching the growth of batwings on my upper arms with some dismay. Yeah, I need to do strength training. See above.

~I confess that this has been cathartic!

[Chubbygirl253]

-I confess I want to be a runner/jogger but at my weight I'm having a hard time just walking on the treadmill at a brisk pace

-I confess I would like to have a baby but at my weight I'm not healthy enough for pregnancy and I don't know if I can even get pregnant until I lose. I fear by the time I lose enough weight I will be too old. I just turned 35. Clock is ticking.

- I confess I want to get thinner than my twin who is about 100 pounds lighter than me but has been skinnier than me since 5th grade

- I confess I fake confidence. Fake it till ya make it. I also fake sexiness for my boyfriend. Usually I just feel fat but I know that's the last thing on his mind when he's feeling romantic

-I confess I don't just want to get healthy. Pah!!! I want to be hot! I want to look good in pictures. I want to shop in stores for skinny minnies instead of stalking past them like the bride of Godzilla on my way to the plus-size store. Oh! and I want to be able to walk into Victoria's Secret and know I can wear anything in there. Those little panties look like they belong to Thumbelina

[smalltownok]

I confess that I won't drink anything with calories in it, but will pop jelly beans all evening long...

[syndehat]

I confess that I ALWAYS check to see if I am in the fattest person in the room and secretly feel happy when I see someone bigger (pathetic)

I confess that the last plane trip I took, I couldn't buckle the seatbelt so I just tucked it into my shirt to hide this fact (sad)

I confess that I have taken comfort in hiding in my fat for a long time and worry how I will deal with it if it is no longer there to "lean" on (bizarre)

I confess that I am upset with my mother for losing 80 pounds and now being thinner than me (selfish)

I confess that I avoid going anywhere or seeing anyone that I can possibly get out of seeing (isolating)

I confess that I am secretly happy that my DH hasn't approached me sexually for 5+ years because I can't bear the thought of it (WTH??)

I confess that I put off starting my weight loss process as long as possible and have just begun it at the insistence of my DH (angry)

This is only the beginning but it feels good to get this much out. Thank you

[GemIAm]

I confess that I now have "wrinkly thighs" (excess skin) like an elephants legs, and I'm afraid my DH will notice & think it looks as gross as I think it looks.

[janeybabs]

Here goes... I confess:
* I felt full after half my dinner in the airport last night but I finished it anyway
*every time I stand on the scales and there is no movement I want to give up and eat what I want and stop going to the gym.
* I worry about the fact people must think I'm lying when I say the amount of exercise I do as I am still a weeble wobble
* I get embarrassed that I still go bright red with the smallest amount of exercise
* I look round the room in my exercise class hoping there is someone heavier than me and feel good if they can't manage the exercises I can (and feel awful if the are fitter than
me)
* I feel smug when skinny people at the class seem less fit than me.
* I have started judging my bigger friends wandering why they won't do anything about their weight.
*there have been times in the last year and half when diet and exercise have dictated my life
* I have cried so many times that I am no lighter despite the hard work
* I still want to stuff my face with cake and sweeties.
* I feel duped by the world after watching the men who make us fat and the truth about sports aids
* I still equate thin with fitness and beauty.
* I want to be a size 10 even though I tell people I'm aiming for comfortable 14.
Oh that is strangely cathartic.

[InATizzy]

*I obsessively weigh myself, 3-10 times per day.
* when I rollover my stomach rolls too

[Garnet2727]

~I confess that I'm starting to get both complacent and whiny. The luster has worn off this weight loss effort and things that I used to be pretty zen about are starting to bug me.

~I confess that traveling for business has made it much harder for me to stay on plan.

~I confess to falling off my weight loss wagon for two days this week.

~I confess that I'm scared of gaining weight back.

~I confess that I'm not too sure about my will power any more.

[guacamole]

Garnet2727 - I can really relate to everything you wrote right now. I think this thread is what I need right now because I also have some new confessions.

-I confess that my eating since August has been for the most part off plan.

-I confess that since August I got out of the habit of logging my daily calories and food and still don't regularly log them.

-I confess that I no longer know exactly how many calories I am eating per day (much less how many micro-nutrients like carbs/sodium/sugars that I used to track).

-I confess that my clothing is getting tighter.

-I confess that I try to reassure myself that the exercise I do makes up for any extra calories - but there are days when I don't exercise.

-I confess that I feel like I am hanging onto the weight loss ledge by my fingertips and they are slowly slipping off.

-I confess that I envision myself 1 year from now once more fat and unhappy, having regained all of the weight I worked hard to lose.

-I confess that I feel out of control with my eating.

-I confess that I am terrified to step on the scale right now.

That felt good to get off my chest. I feel rather selfish for being so upset over something like weight loss and falling of the wagon when there are so many people with much more serious problems in the world. Maybe it is shallow - but it's about more than looks. For the first time in a long time I ate until I felt sick and bloated these last few days. My stomach has been bothering me and I have felt like I need to undo the top button on my pants. All the old "overeating" symptoms. I don't want to go back to being practically immobile and spending an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom! I don't want unpleasant side effects of overeating like gas and stomach cramps and joint pain and high blood pressure. I don't want to not be able to fit into any of the clothing in my closet - I can't imagine having to give away all of the new clothes that I have bought over the past year. I did that once and never want to do it again unless it is for the next size down!

Thanks for listening.

[Garnet2727]

*hugs guacamole*

[Brandnewday]

I confess that I have put life on hold until I am thin enough to enjoy it, thus depriving my whole family of my company and a lot of experiences.

I confess that I am already worried about how I will look in my daughter's wedding pictures next September. I worry about this more than I worry about any other aspect of the wedding.

I confess that I worry that future generations will have no idea what I looked like, because I have not willingly posed for a picture in 20 years, and no one tries to sneak shots of me anymore because of the way I react.

I confess that I worry that I have already done irreversible damage to my body.

I confess that I laid such a load of bs on my gyno last year that if I don't show some results when I go back in May she will scold me and remind me of my big talk.

[FirstLove]

Wow, what a great thread. I guess it's time for ME to visit the confession booth:

• Because I've regained the 40-lb weightloss my doctor praised, I haven't seen her for three years (and have no immediate plan to do so)
• I spritz the seat & thighs of my jeans with water before I put them on so I can move in them
• I fake pleasure during intimacy, because in reality I'm mortified being touched and simply can't get into the mood
• Whenever I'm eating sensibly, I'm self-righteously repulsed by how my overweight friend inhales his food
• I automatically feel inferior to any thin woman
• I automatically feel "safe" with any overweight woman
• I'm bothered that men don't look at me anymore, even though it makes me uncomfortable
• I have this weird, low-grade animosity (hidden) toward a group of female co-workers who have lost weight and are now tiny, fit exercise fanatics

I'm sure there's more to come. Thanks for listening and for your honesty in sharing, everyone! When we voice our hidden fears, we take away their power.

[olleharr]

Hi all, newbie here and I do have a few confessions to make;

~ I confess that I am a cronic yo-yo- dieter. One step forward, two steps back.
~ I confess that I sabotaged myself with my favorite hobby; cake decorating. Bakers do like to taste test.
~ I confess that my feet hurt at the end of the day not because of my poor choice of shoes but because of my poor food choices.
~ I confess that once again I had to fib my weight on my drivers license.
~ I confess that revealing my true weight on this site scares the **** out of me.