Red - he he i hear you about rich people ruining good horses. It happens everywhere! lol.. ooh 20 mins to go I am soo excited (i know I am being an immature dick here but eeeh..). As for riding instructors.. lets just say ALOT of my self esteem issues are related to my riding instructor I had for 8 years. For various reasons I was subjected to a lot of verbal and emotional abuse.. but I'll talk about that another time.

As for finding a man.. I too am a serious person who loves to kid around.. I miss that a bit in my office at the moment, but I get my fix by organising team building events and working in with the social club for the whole company (my department is a quiet one!!).. anyway I was going to say, that it was kind of when I was happy with who i was and where I am going and had worked out a couple of strategies (like the gym) to get where I wanted that I found my man.. being happy in yourself makes it heaps easier I reckon!! Maybe go on a few dates with a group of people and you never know who you might meet. I made myself go to parties andbbq's whenI didn't even feel like it just so i could meet more people and this is what pretty much led to my current happy situation. I hope I have made sense.

And I won't ever forget about you girls! lol
Tiff

God, you must be excited, NBK!
Thanks for your advice. I agree with you totally. I'll just have to keep working on the things I know will make me feel better, happier with my self, my world, like getting the body I want!
And, yes, I think, with work, I will just have to force myself to go out and CREATE the things I want instead of passively sitting around hoping to find it where I am, then being bummed when I don't.

Have fun!!

P.S. As for your self-esteem issues, if you realize how they came about and why, then I think you're well on way to conquering them. Good luck!

hi guys. I did't make it to the gym. I keep thinking I should go and then telling myself I really don't have any business going.

I use to be on the BC patch and I came off it. I'm remembering how horrible my TOM was before! It's been 2 1/2 days of cramps in my back too and now I have an awful nerve headache shooting into my brain. Yoga helps it and I think I'm finally going to have to take something. I hate taking it because it makes me all groggy the next day but I'm going to have too. I missed an apt today. I had one first thing this morning and I just wasn't thinking straight and convniced myself I didn't have one. I left the poor girl waiting for me and hte worst part is that she scheduled it with ME yesterday because she was in so much pain! I felt horrible - I've never done that before. Hard to tell her I screwed up because I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN TOO.

Anyway, I am not going to the gym, despite the fact that I feel like I should. It wil only make me feel worse at this point. I did sleep today. Eventually my neck and hips will pop and it will all release - until then it's going to suck.

RED - this is the whole pain thing...sorry if I didn't explain it. I'm 5'5" with a small bone build...long legs and arms...porker torso. So I'm looking lean in the legs and arms and strangly plump in the torso

okay guys, I'm reading along but I don't have it in me to respond to everyone yet. I'm eating okay. Not much really. I guess that's a good thing - at least I won't gain weight.

Red, I hope that everything goes well for oyu in your job situation. I know it must be a tough decision. Have you made a pro and con list? I do that often when I am trying to decide what to do. The one with the most pros wins. As far as my patient was concerned he could not crawl, he only had a little use of his upper extremities, he could not use a phone for the same reason. It is a very sad situation. Your poor cats! I hope that they all make it okay. I am sure that you take very good care for them. I can tell you are very loving from the way you take care of your horse and cats. Now about this guy who you still love? Since you broke up with him I guess that the relationship was not good, but to know that you love him enough to buy him all that stuff you said that you would if you could, is pretty amazing.

Jacque, congrats on the gym membership. Now you just have to use it!

NBK, your guy must have a great bod. Being from the coast, 75% of the guys I knew worked off shore. It sucks that he does 2 and 2. My brother in law works 7 weeks on and 7 off. He and my sister really like that.

Hi stormy, the pro and con list I've been making up in my head, but with me, the emotional part always seems to come out ahead, in my head, so I think writing it down will also help. That I haven't done. And I should add, it's the positive emotions that I remember, not the negative ones, so I have to remember that too.

I thought your patient might have had more use of his upper body since you said he was going to feed the horses, though you said he was quadriplegic. It's too tragic. All I can hope is that he died in the midst of the horses that he must have loved. Small solace. Grasping-for-straws kind of solace.

Oh, I don't know if my wanting to do something for the ex is so amazing. I mean, it wouldn't be me doing it, it would be like magic, right? I always have a lot of affection for exes, whether they hurt me or I them, even if necessarily. As for this guy, he is/was an angel but I'm not such an angel. I need someone who can laugh along with my rough edges and even enjoy them. He was just too angelic. It taught me an awful lot but over the long run I just felt so suffocated. I like my bluntness, my anger, my irritation ALONG with everything gentle and harmonic. I like my punk rock hard rock hardass attitude along with the beautiful strains of classical music of a more mellow genre that also are part of me. My seemingly contradictory aspects of personality are what make me up and with him I was always feeling apologetic for the rougher ones. It's no wonder Rob Zombie and Claude Debussy stand side by side as two of my favorites! Now, find me a guy who understands that, loves that and even encourages it and that'll be my kind of guy! Oh, and he has to look like George Clooney. . .!!!

Red! You crack me up!! he he..A George clooney classical metal fan. he he he.. But I sooo hear you! he he The disco boy drove me nuts with his music... My lovely boy, who I must say I have just had the most fantastic "lunch" with is about as schizo as I am about music and stuff. he likes latin, african, jazz, cuban as well as all the hard rock stuff that i do too! we are freaks.. but we have each other. We will also do weird things, like on the extremely rare occasion we get pizza have a 1/2 meatlovers with extra bbq sauce and 1 side vegetarian with extra toppings...

Stormy - he does have a nice body.. well he has awesome shoulers and arms and that's my big thing so yay!! he he.. working offshore is a toughy.. I don't know if I could cope with 7/7 I get edgy enough with 2 but in some ways it does make life really easy to plan, I mean you always know when one of you has time off or is going to be around all the time.

LGH - you poor thing. I am so sorry to hear you are in so much pain! Have you gone off the patch because you are trying to concieve? or is it another part of your holistic treatment - reducing the levels or artificial hormones in your body? Why not try hugging a wheat pack to your stomach and lying in the fetal positon? I can understand your reluctance to take pain killers, they have a similar effect on me (which my doctors think is weird.. but I think they just don't understand that people can be sensitive to sedatives!)

Take care all...
Tiff

whoops! grass, I missed your post. Gosh, so sorry to hear about all the pain!?! I'm late out the door now. Interviewing some racing official. Will be in touch later. Hope you feel better real soon!!

NBK, 7 and 7 as 7 days on and 7 days off. I must have said weeks, I apologize. My mind is a little burnt out.

Red, he was giving the horses sugar cubes. He did have finger flexion which allowed him to grasp a little. You will eventually find the right guy. I think that everyone has a soulmate, the tough thing is finding them.

Ahhh Stormy, that sounds heaps better. Actually BF went for a job, in a slightly different discipline last year that would have meant 7/7.. he had it too from the sounds of things, but due to internal company politics and I think being too good at what he does now (no one to replace him) he didn't get it.. but management have offered him the chance to move into another way later on this year, so hopefully we will get the 7/7 ideal! he he.. the nice thing is that he wants to be home just as much as I want him there! (home means my flat.. he lives at home with his mum at the moment)..

Stormy, that is so sad about your patient, especially as he ws going out to give them sugar cubes, thats so sweet and the enjoyment he must have got from his horses..I am just about to cry.. oh..

I know a while back people were talking about extreme home makeover..we get that programme here and on monday there was this one for a solo mum who had taken in two drug addicted babies and brought them up, and had had her house ruined by a contractor.. it was so sad, and I DID cry at the end, with the reaction of the kids..but mostly at how excited they were for their mum being able to have her own room more than anything else.. I mean that was their first instinct. what sweet kids... and then the building crew gave the kids scholarships for college.. wow. I was wondering if anyone knows if they have an "update" page or something so you can find out how the families are finding life in their new house.

Hi all....

I'm still here, although really busy. You guys are posting machines, I can't even keep up!

I am doing great with my eating, but sucking it up at working out. My alarm went off this morning and I just couldn't do it. I think part of that is because I had that extra day off this week, and my schedule was all thrown off. I'm hoping that tomorrow morning I can do it, because I need to stay on track. Someone kick my butt, ok???

Gotta go - you are all doing fabulously, keep it up!!!!

Kelly

KJK, get your rear in gear! C'mon girl you can do it.

NBK, there is a show on Mondays here that gives an update plus behind the scenes info on how they get it done. I have not seen it though and I am not sure what it is called. It is a new series that just started a couple of weeks ago.

Stormy - thanks!!! I actually got my butt in gear after that post. I decided that if I was just going to be watching TV, I might as well work out too. So I walked for 20 minutes and then did a 25 minute weight routine.....so I'm sort of back on track. Thank you for your encouragement!!!

Ladies - the show is called Extreme Makeover: How'd They Do That? It shows a lot of the projects that they don't show on Sundays, as well as some of the other neat things that the cast does while on location. I watched last night, and it showed the British carpenter guy going on a tour of a gang neighborhood with the sheriff, very eye-opening. And it showed how they planned the wedding for the disabled young man and his wife....so cute!!! That show makes me cry EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! But I continue to watch....because Ty rocks!

Ok, watching Law & Order: SVU......I'll check in some time tomorrow.

Kelly

KJK - welcome back! nice to see you again..and well done on the working out! I am off to the gym now. Then hopefully a nice evening in with my boy.. but we'll see.. knowing my luck the surf will be awesome and he'll be out till 9

Anyway I hope everyone has an OP evening and I'll catch you alligators later!
Take care
Tiff

Hey Girls, this ones quick... it's been one heck of a day

I joined a gym!! And spent 30 minutes of cardio and made arrangements to meet with a trainor on Monday!!

Then on my way home I got pulled over for... an out headlight...and if that's not bad enough... my insurance had expired So I freaked out... and ate 4 rice krispy bars Oh well... back on track now...

Did I hear Ty?!?!? I Tivo all the shows (including the How'd they do that's!!) Ty is my boyfriend But as I explained to my husband the thing that is so darn attractive about Ty is how much he helps out these people! And I cry so hard at every episode... This time I bawled through the monday night show too because this poor guy just broke my heart