One thing I'd be very happy for, thank god you didn't marry him or have kids before finding out! He seems like the type that would have tried to get away with it as long as he could.
I was gonna marry my ex, and when he cheated he actually had the balls to say "You have to take me back, who's going to be the mother of my children? My dad cheated on my mom and she took him back"
I'm just glad I got out of that, I'm glad you got out of your relationship too.
Stay strong and keep us updated. We're all hear and listening for you.
Pffft, what a d-bag. You can do MUCH better. As much as it hurts, be thankful you found out now instead of down the road after you were married/had a family.
It's scary being single after being with someone for so long, but a new world and new opportunities await you. Men who respect you. Men who are willing to work at a relationship. Men who don't cheat.
When my ex-bf cheated on me and I took it very hard (who wouldn't?) my coworker gave me the best advice that I still keep with me to this day... the best revenge you can get on your ex is to be happy and successful
You're right, it's not fair. I guess he's got man-child syndrome. In a way, I feel sorry for the kid, because he really is a kid and karma is a B***H! Both my ex and I got chunky when we were together but when we broke up, I lost 30lbs and him? I guess karma decided to give my 30lbs to him
I did the same as you, I moved back to my parents. It was awful. I didn't even have a room to myself. I slept on my sister's bedroom floor and occupied just a small corner in her closet for my clothes and such.
About him being untruthful to his friends, don't worry about that... the truth will come out later. My ex and I had mutual friends and all those mutual friends don't talk to him anymore. I recall having a convo with one of them about a year after it all happened, he said to me "I didn't know he cheated on you... but really, you should've seen that coming"
I am sorry this happened to you, but I am glad that you found out now, before the wedding and all that.
I was friends (he's my husband's college friend, and nice on a surface level) with a guy who cheated on his girl - we tried to warn her. When she called off the wedding (finally!) we all agreed that she was better off. While technically I'm still his friend - I respect HER for having a backbone and leaving with her dignity.
I respect you for sticking up for yourself. I am sorry this had to happen.
So sorry that you have to go through this! It is a very stressful, painful, confusing, heartbreaking time. Remember that the only thing you can control in this situation is Y-O-U! You can't control what he is doing, what he says (aka lies about), or his actions - past or present. Take it one day at a time, because no matter how much you worry or plan or think, the future only comes minute by minute. The good news is, you WILL get through this! And you will be BETTER for it! As they say, time really does heal. It's just the getting-through-it-at-the-moment part that's the problem.
Remember that you are better off without being in a damaging relationship. Take this time to focus on bettering yourself. Spend lots of times with family and friends. It's okay to have fun! Keep your mind off things, stay distracted for a while. Pour yourself into a new, fun project.
I wish there was more any of us could say or do, but unfortunately this is just one of those things where we tell you it will get better with time. We are all here for you, supporting you! Hang in there!!!
I just wanted to add that it sounds like you're being extremely STRONG and you have a lot of tact for getting yourself out of there so quickly, with such integrity.
I also wanted to add that you absolutely DO have a legal right to that ring - as it was gifted to you. You can absolutely pawn it and get that down payment for your own place. Don't split it with him!
What a D!nk. I'd keep the ring then sell it.. Its a gift right? hahaha. I'm mean.
Thank god you got out of that!!! If you knew from the start then its the best way out.. NOW you know 100% and there is no chance of you "taking him back" when he comes crawling.
Good on you Love, good on you! Dont worry
***EDIT***.. sell the ring.. and put it as a down payment! its yours! its a gift!
Last edited by luciddepths; 06-16-2010 at 06:57 PM.
He already took the ring back so I don't have it. He claims since it symbolized a promise for a marriage that didn't take place then it's not mine any more .. WHAT THE F EVER. I know I do think I should have it but I was there alone and was pissed and threw it at him. He already took it to the jeweler he bought it from and supposedly has to wait until it sells so he can get the most money out of it ... otherwise I wouldn't even get what I want him to pay me for all my stuff.
I just really hope it sells and I can get paid for the things I left there other wise I'll have to pay for a moving truck to get it all and then pay to keep it in storage and I don't really want to do that. I want this done as quickly and easily as possible. As of right now he has 2 weeks other wise we will be getting my stuff the week after July 4th ... but I really hope I don't have to do that.
I just can't believe most of all that he was SUCH a jerk about everything ... I swear not even an ounce of remorse or sorrow. UGH ... I just need to move on but it's hard ... I think mostly because I don't know what went so wrong. What did I do to deserve this .. and I know the answer is nothing ... it's all his fault and he is just an a-hole and probably had no good reason ... but I just don't understand how things can go from normal to feeling like he totally hates me and has no feelings for me at all. I don't get it.
True... Selling it is always good, but sometimes you dont get the money back from it that you put in.. BUT best part? if he helped you pick the furnature and you dont like it? you dont gotta keep it
Sh!tty! That he Sob already took it back.
Yah its definitely hard! a BF i had before i met my DH was like that, he didnt want to be together so he would say "i thought about cheating on you" just to hurt my feelings and he acted like nothing was wrong acted like it was an OK thing to say..
BUT just remember he is someone elses problem now! muwahah... If he was cheating too - im sure this is too bold and you DONT want to think about it.. but make sure to go get tested and a check up with the DR. You never know.
Definitely hard! *HUG* sometimes though, as much as it sucks it is needed( him out of your life) I just think of the possibilities!!! Think of what a GREAT guy you will meet in the future! or whatever who will be there because he WANTS to be.
VERY exciting on that front THAT and with you losing weight and what not your ex probably will try and crawl back but you will be too hot/fit/healthy and tell the bum off!
Yeah ... if he buys it I'll get more money out of him. The furniture is only a year old and you can still buy it at the store but now it's half the price I paid ... but I'm making him pay pretty much full price. HA.
Ive been there. I know its extremely hard... **** after 3 years I'm still fragile on the subject. I love my boyfriend to death but there isn't a day that I don't question if he will leave me too, or the fact that maybe its just me, and maybe I'm the one with the issue. It takes a toll on your heart, but I can tell you It will get better. I cant sit here and tell you everything is peachy because I know its not. It hurts! I cried for months, but Im here and I'm happier then I have ever been with a bf who loves me and supports me. Things will get better just keep your head up. He doesnt deserve you and Im sure you will find someone who does. Plus you can rub it in his face how hot you have gotten.....
My ex just got married and he has gained 50+lbs so It totally made my day to see the wedding pics
Hang in there, girl! Keep reminding yourself that YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS! Some people are just jerk faces. Karma, baby. Karma! He'll get what's coming his way sooner or later! And by that time you will be in a much happier, healthier place in your life. You don't need his crap dragging you down.
(just kidding, that's illegal.) Seriously, though, you have a ton of people here who care about you.
