Ouch! I've never been engaged, but I do know what it's like to be cheated on and it is definitely not a good feeling. But I agree with GoodShadow, sit down and make a plan and get the heck out of there! As far as support, look to your friends and family, thats what they are there for and of course, we are all here as well. But as unsure as it may seem now, everything happens for a reason and i'm sure you will find some else who's much better for you. Good luck and remind yourself that you are better than this and hes not worth your tears
Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts. I am at my parents house now. Everything is moved except the big stuff. I am going to rent a truck to get my furniture and appliances and stuff and then going to need a storage facility.
We 'talked' when he got home. He didn't have too much to say I heard "I don't know" a lot. I told him exactly what I thought of him and I hope he feels horrible although I'm sure he doesn't. I still don't know if it's really settled in yet. I am going to be 26 in July and am now living back with my parents ... having no idea what it's like to be single in my 20's ... no idea if/who/what kind of guy is out there for me in the future. It's just all so unknown right now.
I wish I could say something and make it magically better but I know I cant. I had a similar situation but he didn't cheat on me but instead after 4 years just lost love for me and left me. I am also 26 and living back at home, but I can tell you I am now happier than I have ever been. Things work out I promise. I have a more supportive/loving bf now and I wouldn't have changed a thing.
I am sorry Valeri. I am sure you are hurting now, but keep your chin up and know that you deserve someone better. I wish I could give you a hug in person! (((HUGS)))
You are getting a lot of advice commin your way. Take it, filter it, and do your best. My advice is to take this opportunity to start anew! Your weight loss, and new singledom are big changes. Your heart wont stop hurting soon, too many of us know that. But you come off as a worth while woman. I am willing to bet you will come out of this a better woman.
It's hard to loose your base. But - this will help you to find who YOU truly are without anyone else.
Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about CREATING yourself
You've been handed a fresh start, and luckily you're not 40 It's time to start a new life, a better life, a stronger life. Plus you are on your weight loss journey, just imagine how strong and grounded you will be as time passes. It's going to be a rough journey and it will take time, but be patient, and enjoy the steps when you are ready. but until then - be angry - it's good for you I think
Being single in your mid to later twenties is about confidence, beginning our REAL lives, our careers, meeting men who'll treat us with respect, meeting men who have already had plenty of time to be single and fool around, me who have more life goals planned.
I'm sending a huge hug your way. I am so sorry this has happenened to you. But the future will be fine, even if the present feels awful.
Each bad thing that happens in our lives opens the door to something wonderful. I'm a firm believer in this as it's never let me down.
I've had some nasty breakups, I've been cheated on and worse... but all of that lead me to my husband who treats me like gold. Can't regret the past when you're living a dream.
Like the most recent girls have posted, you now have an opportunity to become who you are meant to be. Don't worry about the future but embrace it as there's so much potential. Hang in there and good luck
Val, 7 years ago I was in your same exact shoes and all I can say is my heart breaks for you because I can literally feel your pain. Chin up girl, and you don't have to think about guys just yet (although, they'll have you drooling over them soon enough). As for the furnature and appliances, why not just sell them, they will just be bad memories later on. And, you can always get new stuff...trust me...I'm an ancient 31 year old and I'm tired of the crappy furnature I bought when I was 23 thinking it was going to be a good investment.
You're so young! And you're really at a wonderful age to meet the right person. You have soooo much time to do so, too, but I have no doubt you aren't going to need it.
Good for you for standing up for yourself and your right to be loved exclusively. It's much better to be living back at home with parents who love you than to be living with someone who doesn't give you the love that you deserve.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 06-14-2010 at 06:04 PM.
I am very sorry! Many good pieces of advice, and may i add one more- don't forget to eat! I know it can be hard to take care of yourself physically during such an emotional time but try and eat something healthy to give yourself some physical energy to get through the day! All the best to you...
Yeah I am hoping he will just buy the stuff that is still there. Since he asked for my engagement ring back (A-HOLE) I told him to sell it and pay me for what's mine. I know I have no legal right to that ring but I think I deserve it after what he put me through ... it would be nice to have for a down payment for a place of my own or whatever else. I just can't believe after all these years and even acting like he loved me ... we set a wedding date in January ... how long was he going to let this go ya know? He claims he wasn't happy but I guess I wasn't good enough for an adult conversation and instead he decided to just move on without me and screw around.
Plus I had found e-mails from him to other girls before a long time ago and he always denied sending them ... and don't ask why I stuck around then. I never did believe him or feel I could trust him fully but I couldn't let go. The other emails were years ago ... if only I had listened to my gut then. He admitted now to sending those and said it was 'no big deal' because it didn't lead to anything ... well obviously you had the intent for it to lead to something. So maybe it's true he was unhappy but all those years ago I know he was and he was still a cheating ******* then.
It seems unfair ... I feel like he is already way passed our relationship and moved on to someone else.
Plus the fact that he is telling all his friends that it's not true! That I accused him of cheating but he didn't BS ... too bad I have proof AND he admitted it. I just don't get why he can't be a man and tell the world what he did. He put himself in this position so have the balls to own up to it. It just makes me so mad he will have people feeling sorry for him and the only one who should feel sorry for him is himself.
My advice is to take this opportunity to start anew! Your weight loss, and new singledom are big changes. Your heart wont stop hurting soon, too many of us know that. But you come off as a worth while woman. I am willing to bet you will come out of this a better woman.
