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Old 06-13-2010, 12:59 AM   #1  
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I found out tonight that my fiance and partner for the last 8 1/2 years is cheating on me.

He has had this women in our house.

He is camping with his brother right now (yes I know for sure). So we haven't actually spoken. I found a chat conversation between he and her on his computer with a lot of undeniable details.

I texted him about it. He says we'll talk tomorrow. I am done talking. There is no way he can talk his way out of this. I will never be able to trust him. I can't believe he would throw away 8 1/2 years just like that. If you don't want to be with me then just tell me ... don't do something like this. I despise liars and cheaters. And now him.

I have already started packing my things. I'm going to have to move back to my parents for now. I don't know how we're going to split things up. I've paid for something like furniture and appliances. I don't really have room for them and my parents and he doesn't have the money to pay for them out right.

I don't know what's going to happen. This is the hardest thing ever.
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Old 06-13-2010, 01:07 AM   #2  
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Old 06-13-2010, 01:37 AM   #3  
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Valeri, oh no! I'm very sad to hear the news. I know how it feels to be cheated on after a long relationship. I was with my ex for 7 years and we were engaged when I found out that he was cheating.

Unfortunately, I was one of those that didn't pack up and leave right away... hmm, now that I think about it maybe it was because he lived in my house!

In any event, hugs to you sweetie! I wish you the best in the situation and I hope that you can continue on your journey despite what may be happening.
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Old 06-13-2010, 05:31 AM   #4  
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Oh Valeri I am so sorry to hear that!

You have every right to feel angry and disappointed. I can't believe he did that to you! I am not sure if I can provide you with any comforting word right now but if you need to vent we are here to listen.
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Old 06-13-2010, 06:36 AM   #5  
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That's awful! Don't worry about furniture and appliances right now - you'll figure that out in good time. Take care of yourself. Stay strong.
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Old 06-13-2010, 06:52 AM   #6  
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I know I feel like I should not be thinking so much about all this 'stuff' but I just feel like I need to get out of here as soon as I can and leaving it for a certain amount of time I feel like it will be harder to arrange the details. I just want it to be over.

I haven't slept all night. I tried but couldn't.
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Old 06-13-2010, 07:04 AM   #7  
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I'm so sorry to hear about this, Valeri. No one deserves to be cheated on and I hope you'll be able to sort everything out. I think you're right for leaving, and you can worry about material things later (though I would worry about everything now as well so I don't blame you at all for just wanting to make a clean, but fair, break). Take care of yourself.
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Old 06-13-2010, 07:36 AM   #8  
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If I were you, I'd take a nice long shower (if you haven't already - I take a million showers when I don't know what to do). Breathe deeply. Make some tea. Sit and make a list of all your stuff. Figure out how much you can take with you and store right now; with those parameters figure out what things you absolutely have to take with you. Make a plan for everything else (for example: I will find an affordable storage locker by Wednesday, I will find people to help me move by Friday, by Sunday everything of mine will be out). Right now all of your stuff feels like a dead weight anchoring you to a very bad place, but it's just stuff. You'll get it moved, and even if you don't (but you will!) sacrificing some furniture is ultimately worth getting out of a toxic relationship. You have every right to feel the way you feel, and the situation you're in is hard. It's so hard, but you can do it, and you'll be so proud of yourself when you look back and know how strong you can be.

Try to find some calm in yourself, and focus on one thing at a time.
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Old 06-13-2010, 08:16 AM   #9  
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GoodShadow is right....it'll be hard, but stay calm and focused. I'm so sorry that this happened to you!!!
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Old 06-13-2010, 09:21 AM   #10  
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I'm SO sorry, hon! I hope us supporting you and offering our sympathy can help you in some small way! I think that you should just forget about all the crap and furniture. It's not important right now and you can figure it out later. YOU are the most important thing. Right now and always. You need to take care of yourself and just do what feels right to YOU. I think it's good that you are already packing your things. It's amazing how clearly you can think in such a difficult time. Just know that you have all of us for support if you need it, really.
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Old 06-13-2010, 09:45 AM   #11  
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I'm sorry this happened to you, being cheated on is the worst feeling ever. You are doing the best thing by getting rid of him, I'm proud of you for being strong. This happened to me with my high school sweetheart that I was going to marry. He had been bringing me a single rose at work, which I thought was sweet. Turns out he was seeing a girl who worked across the street from me and taking one rose out of the bunch that he would give her and giving it to me. I signed up on a online social networking site he said he was not a member of, just to find him and see him and her openly talking about times they had been together on each others pages.

It's hard, but we all heal.

Just think of all the women here you have your back and support you! Get out, and get on with your life. If you linger then it will be harder.

Keep us updated.
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Old 06-13-2010, 10:11 AM   #12  
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I'm sorry you're hurting and I hope you are able to get through this with your head held high! Move on and move up!
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Old 06-13-2010, 10:38 AM   #13  
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Take care of yourself in this difficult time. Do the things you have always loved to do but have been set aside as the relationship responsibilities have increased.This is a time to add those back into your life. It will help you grow as an individual. I agree with what everyone else wrote. If you cannot afford storage for your stuff ask coworkers or friends if they have space until you can get everything figured out. Take a bubble bath with candles, music and some calming tea. Go for a nice walk to help destress once you get your important stuff moved. It will help clear your mind even more and give some time to relax. Oh go get a relaxation massage this week..
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Old 06-13-2010, 12:41 PM   #14  
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I'm so sorry for you. While I've never experienced this, I imagine it must be awful. I don't blame you either for dividing the stuff. Perhaps you can enlist a friend or family member to help you move, preferably when he's not there? I can't believe "we'll talk later" text message was the response. Hun, this is bad but atleast you found out now, rather than when you were a few years into the marriage with kids. Take care of yourself and do something especially for you.
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Old 06-13-2010, 12:55 PM   #15  
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I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Sounds like you are doing what's best for yourself in the situation. I know you're hurting...but good luck and hold your head up.
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