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Old 06-19-2010, 01:06 AM   #46  
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This is so depressing. I did a relay for life walk tonight with the girls from work. Then we went out for a couple drinks after we left.
Then I had to come back to my parents house ... alone. I just feel so sad and lonely. I am crying writing this. I just don't understand why this happened. How could he do this. After all this time. What did I ever do to him to deserve this. I don't want to be alone. He's the only one I've been with for so long I don't even know how to go about meeting other people ... or who I want to meet ... or who I want to be ... or who I am without him. It's been us for so long. It's so heartbreaking.
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Old 06-19-2010, 10:21 AM   #47  
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Aww *hugs*

Things will get better, though it may not seem that way right now, they will! It's devestating when you leave a long relationship, you don't know how to act or be without them. What your feeling is normal, and it sucks.

One day, you will look back on this and say "I am so happy I do not have to deal with him anymore"

You will feel good again, it's just going to take time.
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Old 06-19-2010, 11:03 AM   #48  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BassAckwards View Post
I don't even know how to go about meeting other people ... or who I want to meet ... or who I want to be ... or who I am without him.
Sweetheart this is exactly why you're so lucky that this happened now...

you need to be YOU and have your own life and be happy and content on your own...don't rely on another person to be half of you...be whole on your own first.

Lonely is normal...but surround yourself with people...do things you've never done before... get a hobby...the only way is up and you will be so much better for it.

I broke up with an ex after a long time... and it was my choice but I then became sad... but it was because I was bored and lonely and missed having someone to do stuff with...I didnt actually miss him.

You have an amazing life ahead of you...get out there and live it
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Old 06-27-2010, 02:29 PM   #49  
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Curious how your making out, hope everything is going ok!
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Old 06-27-2010, 03:01 PM   #50  
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Thanks. I'm doing alright. Trying to stay occupied and hang out with friends. At my parents still which is ok for now. Still don't know 100% whats going to happen with all my things ... hopefully he can come up with the money to buy them. I told him he has until next weekend. Keep your fingers crossed!
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Old 06-27-2010, 04:20 PM   #51  
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*CROSSED* well keep us updated!
I'm glad your doing alright and keeping busy!
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Old 06-27-2010, 10:35 PM   #52  
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Hang in there! You situation made me think of the Missy Higgins song Where I Stood. Music that spells out my current feelings really helps me, maybe it'll help you:

"Where I Stood"

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
LIttle voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do
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Old 06-27-2010, 11:26 PM   #53  
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I looked the song up on YouTube ... very nice. Making me cry though ... sigh.
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Old 06-28-2010, 04:50 AM   #54  
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Hang in there. I know it feels like you will never get over this or move on or move forward, but you will. The more time that passes, the better you will feel.

You didn't do anything to deserve this. You didn't deserve this. You deserve to be respected and loved. Some people are selfish, and make poor decisions with little regard to how it will affect others. You got stuck on the receiving end of one of these. But believe that the pain will pass. Each day will get easier. We're all here for you and believe in you. <3333

I can never listen to sad music when I'm sad over something. Even uplifting songs with a saddish tune make me more sad. I listen to upbeat stuff. When this one guy smooshed my heart, I listened to "Fall Back Down" by Rancid a lot. It really picked me up and helped me move on, and appreciate the friends that helped me get there. It's punk rock, I dunno if that's your cup of tea. But punk rock is undeniably upbeat, so maybe give it a listen.
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Old 06-28-2010, 07:38 AM   #55  
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I have to agree with Haley. Often times we think we're lonely (which you can be) but really we miss the HABIT of the relationship. For instance, you're checking your phone every 5 minutes for a text that you would've gotten. You aren't missing the text itself, you're just so used to checking your phone. That's just an example.

Take the time to go out and try new things. Maybe there is a gym nearby that offers classes? I've heard that's a great way to meet new people. Maybe you could check out meetup.org. I haven't ever gone to one of the events but I've heard of the site. Basically anything you could possibly be interested is on there and there are groups in your area that do meet ups.

Is there something you always wanted to do but never had the time/courage? Just go check it out. I had a friend that always wanted to do Tai Kwan Do and has recently started a fitness kickboxing class and loves it.

Things won't change for you over night. I got out of a very long, complicated relationship and had to take over a year to myself before I even started dating someone. You know what? That was one of the best investments I've ever made in myself.

Good luck and I hope you get the furniture thing resolved.

Last edited by Feral; 06-28-2010 at 07:39 AM.
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Old 06-28-2010, 08:34 AM   #56  
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I agree with Feral, now's the time to start a new exciting chapter in your life!

(sorry didn't mean to make you cry )
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Old 06-28-2010, 01:02 PM   #57  
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I am currently in a very similar situation. I was supposed to get married May 1st after being with my fiance for 6 years. A MONTH before the wedding, he told me that he had been cheating on me for the last month with a coworker and that he had feelings for the girl. Stupid me even offered to still marry him and work through the problem but he refused to stop seeing her.

To make matters worse we had bought a house together a year ago, even though he now says he already felt us drifting apart at that point and just went along for the ride. I ended up moving out and into a condo that my parents own and we are in the process of dealing with the house. AND I am about to turn 27!! Totally know how you feel on the moving back home front...it sucks!! Let me tell you though, the moment that house is out of my name...I never plan on speaking to him again!

Just like your guy, he actually has the audacity to get mad at me and act like its my fault that all of this happened!! He keeps sending me these angry text messages about ridiculous crap.

Anyways I didn't mean to hijack your thread...I just wanted to let you know that I really do know what you are going through and maybe we could talk sometime....even if its just to vent!

p.s.- It has been about three months since everything went down and I am already getting to the point where I am so thankful that it ended and that I am on my own. You will make it through...it does get better...i swear!!
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Old 06-28-2010, 07:10 PM   #58  
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Thanks Bright. Good to know it wont take years to get over haha. I mean I feel like I do miss him. The old him. The 'him' who would never have done this, the one who was sweet and loved me and would do anything for me and never hurt me. I just have to remember that he isn't that person anymore. And that I am better off without him. Of course all the good memories make it hard but I just have to remind myself of all the bad things to keep me on track and realize that this is for the best and I will be way better off without him. I just wish I could stop wondering now what he's doing and who he is with and if he is having a good old time and not even thinking about me while I am thinking about him ... ugh.
I will get through it. It's getting easier. The sadness is fading and it turned to anger ... and I'm sure that will fade too.
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Old 06-28-2010, 09:19 PM   #59  
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I cant even imagine what you are going through sweetheart.
Big hugs to you.
Hope things are getting easier. xx
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Old 07-01-2010, 10:47 PM   #60  
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Sooo. I'm back here again. I talked to him tonight. He was a total a-hole. Basically telling me how happy he was ... trying to say it was my fault ... made me feel like total crap that he doesn't care one bit about me .... and that he is so freaking happy supposedly. And proud of what he did ... doesn't seem to care at all. So irritating. I feel like I have lost faith in people. And I know that's not right because look at all you who don't even really know me giving me support ... and all my friends and family ... yet I feel like people just SUCK ...
I wish I could just run away from everything and never look back.
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