PCOS/Insulin Resistance SupportSupport for us with any of the following: Insulin Resistance, Syndrome X, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or other endocrine disorders.
An old farmer in Kansas had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't
been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon
bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices
shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not
coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned and grumbled, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket high in the air, he told them, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Moral:Age and wisdom will triumph over youth and enthusiasm every time.
The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy....... The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Share this with other women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked!
However, Men are like grapes......
Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the @$#% out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks.
Says he'll call, and won't wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed.
When I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh, send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never attempt to hit on my friend. Amen.
Man's Prayer
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store
and a boat. Amen
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as
airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in
and they had nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something
to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a
buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they poured themselves a couple of glasses of high-octane
hooch and got completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.
In fact he feels great, no hangover, no bad side effects. Nothing at all.
Then the phone rings...its Jim. Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff -no hangover, nothing.
We ought to do this more often."
An airplane was about to crash. There were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.
The first passenger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the NBA's best basketball
player. I am about to beat a rape charge and make millions in free agency. I can't afford to die."So he took the first pack and left the plane.
The second passenger, Hillary Clinton said, "I am the wife of the former U.S. President, a Senator from New York, and a potential future president. And I am the smartest woman in American history, so America's people don't want me to die." She took the second pack and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, John Kerry, said, " I am going to be my party's nominee for President. I survived Vietnam and received the Purple Heart. The country needs heroes like me." So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped.
The fourth passenger, President George W. Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country well, I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."
The girl said, "That's okay. There's a parachute left for you, Mr. President.. America's smartest woman took my schoolbag."
A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present "Seven Wonders of the World." Although there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:
> > > 1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
> > >
> > > 2. Taj Mahal
> > >
> > > 3. Grand Canyon
> > >
> > > 4. Panama Canal
> > >
> > > 5. Empire State Building
> > >
> > > 6. St. Peter's Basilica
> > >
> > > 7. China's Great Wall
While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list.
The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."
The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help.
"The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the 'Seven Wonders of the World' are:
> > > 1. To See
> > >
> > > 2. To Hear
> > >
> > > 3. To Touch
> > >
> > > 4. To Taste
> > >
> > > 5. To Feel
> > >
> > > 6. To Laugh
> > > 7. And to Love."
The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous!
A gentle reminder -- that the most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man.
A burglar was cruising through a posh suburb looking for an opportunity. At one house he saw a truck unloading a big screen television, stereo, and video outfit. That night, without a moon in the sky and a heavy fog, he drove up to the house. He rang the doorbell and when no one answered, broke the lock on the kitchen door and went in.
It was pitch black inside as he made his way through the kitchen, then the dining room and into the den where he expected to find the things he wanted to steal.
"I see you and Jesus sees you," a voice said. The burglar froze in his tracks.
"I see you and Jesus sees you," the voice said again.
When nothing more happened, the burglar took out his flashlight and shined it in the direction of the voice. All he saw was a parrot on its perch.
"I see you and Jesus sees you."
The burglar laughed. "Just a dumb bird," he said. The burglar closed the drapes before turning on a lamp and that's when he saw a big and mean looking Doberman Pincher sitting beneath the parrot's perch.
What's holding you back from beginning to lose weight, once-and-for-all?
What are you afraid of? What would happen if you really lost weight and solved your weight problem forever?
Would your success be too much to handle? Are you supposed to be overweight, unhealthy, unhappy, unsuccessful? Is that what you're programmed to be?
Or are you waiting for some really serious, life threatening illness to force you to solve the weight problem? (By then, it may be too late. The damage could be irreversible.)
Ask yourself these questions, in a loving, caring way. Let them help you unravel some personal mysteries as to why you're holding onto the excess weight.
Did you get enough love as a baby? Did your parents hold you, feed you enough, and help you when you needed it?
Many problems in later life are solved when you trace your life back to the very earliest years of your existence. When you begin to see that things were not completely perfect, and that you may not have had all of your needs met, then you begin to put the pieces of the life puzzle together.
Consider for a moment: If you have an eating disorder, it may be possible that you did not get enough food, or love, or attention when you were an infant. Or it may be possible that you were given too much food, as a substitute for love and care. Or (like me) you may have been mistreated or even injured, and the only source of comfort was food.
Consider these ideas. Let them really sink in. See if any of these thoughts have the slightest "ring of truth" in you. If so, then pay attention and give them even more thought.
Halloween Things That Sound Dirty but Aren't <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
1. So...What did you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks.
5. You scared me stiff!
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling.
8. Can I eat your Zagnuts?
9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed but couldn't get my mouth around it.
11. She's a goblin!
12. I'd like to get a little something in the sack tonight.
13. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor!
14. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
15. If you just lick it, it'll last longer.
16. Let me see your big sack!
17. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use two hands.
18. Have your mom check it before you put it inyour mouth.
19. I got the best piece from that house.
20. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
October 26, 2004
May I suggest that you un-complicate your life?
Keep things on the simple side. Try to see difficult, all-consuming problems in another light -- as the sum of a lot of little parts. Break down tasks into manageable, little steps.
Only do things that are going to bring you joy, peace, and prosperity. Don't do it unless there's some good to come of it. Don't do anything out of guilt, shame, resentment, anger, dread, hostility, or if you are forced or coerced.
Look at your schedule, and everything you want or need to do today. Is everything on that big list completely necessary? Can some things wait, or be put aside?
Finally, be sure to include some re-creation and reflection time for yourself today—and every day.
True Bravery
The Farmers Pond...
Women & Apples
Women's Prayer vs. Man's Prayer
Jet Fuel Drunks
Why Weight??
