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Old 01-16-2009, 08:01 PM   #61  
Motivated for 2009
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^thank you for that. I am still learning and struggling. Tonight I made the mistake of baking a cake for my family and instead of just serving them and throwing the rest away which is what I should have done I saved it and then gave in to temptation and quickly ate a bunch and then purged. I have been trying not to beat myself up. I have done really well this week overall. It was a slip and I have thrown the rest of the cake away and have learned that I really cannot control myself around sweets and so they just can't be in the house. I always feel this compulsion to eat every last bite and sometimes I reason that I don't want to waste it because that is wasting money but there has been many a time that I have thrown away old produce which is more expensive without batting an eye.

Well on the bright side after my cake binge I did not binge again and threw the cake away. Just a few weeks ago I honestly would have kept binging and purging all day until the entire cake was gone. It might not sound like much but for me that in itself is a huge victory. It is a starting point at least!
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Old 01-18-2009, 01:57 PM   #62  
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My meeting yesterday went great. I really like my sponsor. He has me starting on step 1 this week which is exciting! Right now I kind of feel like I am going through the motions but I know as I keep going I will understand what this is all about. For right now I am faking it till I make it and doing what he tells me. It is really helping me to have some support and direction. Whenever I feel like eating or purging I pull out the big book and do some work and it really helps to motivate and distract me!
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Old 01-18-2009, 04:10 PM   #63  
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Good lesson on the cake! So happy to hear you are connecting with your sponsor and are using the tools you have been given so far. Keep posting. We are here for you.
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Old 01-18-2009, 05:15 PM   #64  
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You're still doing so well. How about doing something so you can see your recovery in a 'real' way? I'm thinking of something like, awarding yourself a gold star each day you don't purge. You'll see that the purging is becoming less and less - you've already made terrific progress

I think you'll enjoy working Step 1 .
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Old 01-18-2009, 07:28 PM   #65  
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That is a great idea! I think I will try that.
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Old 01-18-2009, 08:29 PM   #66  
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Liz, congratulations on that wonderful victory!! Your journey is so inspiring. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability. It's this wonderful sharing and support that makes this site so special.
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Old 01-18-2009, 09:54 PM   #67  
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Thank you so much. Sharing here has really been freeing and a learning experience. I am just so grateful that I found this site, otherwise I don't know if I would have faced up to my eating problems and gone to OA. I really needed a kick in the butt and admitting I had a problem and going to OA has been very humbling for me in a good way.
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Old 01-18-2009, 10:40 PM   #68  
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The Gold star idea is fantastic! I know in the early days I faced temptation multiple times a day and would have loved to have thought of that. In these early days of yours, a gold star every time you do something else instead of the binge/purge would be even better. I know a whole day is sometimes very long and each victory needs it own merit in my opinion.
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Old 01-19-2009, 12:08 AM   #69  
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I agree. A day can seem like a long time and it would be great to have something to reward myself with and show my progress!
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Old 01-19-2009, 01:08 AM   #70  
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i just wanted to let you know ive been follow your thread for a while now.. . i feel like you are definatly on the right track girl. . its admirable that your doing all of this.. your an inspiration. i cant quite get myself to a meeting yet. nor can i admit i have a problem to anyone other than myself. although, in time. im sure i will...

my point is that through your journey.. you never know the true impact you have on other people by laying it all out there, and i want to thank you for sharing. . BTW i love that gold star idea... it would be cool to put them on the inside cover of the 'big book' ( hee hee) so everytime you open it, you can see your progress and know it works. my mother did something similar to this when she was going through AA..

anyways. sorry for rambling on! keep up the GREAT work!
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Old 01-19-2009, 02:59 AM   #71  
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Thank you so much. It really makes me feel good to hear things like that. When I first came to this site reading posts in this section was the thing that helped me gain the courage to tell my story and start going to OA. I was really scared at first, it is a big step. Telling my family, everyone on this board, talking at OA meetings etc has really helped to open me up and has shown me that I have support and I am not in this alone and that makes a huge difference. Good luck to you btw.
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Old 01-21-2009, 01:34 PM   #72  
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Just wanted to let you know I am still keeping up with how you are doing and gaining my own momentum in the process! There is more to this Food Addiction thing than I ever thought there could be. Seems like everything I do that is weird or compulsive has its roots in Food. Finding new ways to deal with the Sh#t is hard, but So Worth It!
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Old 01-21-2009, 08:28 PM   #73  
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I agree and I am glad you are making progress!

Well along with starting the 12 steps I have decided on my abstinence (for now anyway). I am going to abstain from anything with sugar or flour in it. So I will do that for now and see how it goes. I really cannot control myself around anything sweet so I need to totally avoid it.

I also quit smoking 4 days ago and was going through some nasty withdrawls which I combated with lots of water, gum, carrots and reading OA literature. I want to start getting healthy in every way that I can. I am feeling great now though, the cravings and withdrawls are gone so hopefully I am in the clear! I am going to try and go to an OA meeting tomorrow. My sponsor suggested going to 2 meetings a week if I can.
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Old 02-04-2009, 01:04 PM   #74  
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OA is going really well for me. I love my sponsor, he is really great and so helpful! I just started on step 2 this week!

I am trying to go to 2 meetings a week. I would love to go to more but with 2 young kids and a husband that is going to school full time I just can't seem to manage more than two. I have bought a lot of OA literature though so between that and working the steps I have a lot to keep me busy between meetings. I am so glad I found OA, it really is changing my life for the better. The past few weeks I have only binged/purged 2 times which is a huge deal for me. I want to get that number to zero but I am proud of myself.
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Old 02-04-2009, 03:32 PM   #75  
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Good to hear things are going in a positive direction for you 2ndChance.
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