Interpersonal conflict is so often unnecessary but present in all work situations (unless you work from home 100% of the time). Why would your neighbor care about your use of VOIP being competent or otherwise? Whether you're talking on a headset or into a standard phone, the noise level is the same to her, right? I'm indignant on your behalf.

I've gone a bit off course in the last week. Too much time spent on other things and not enough on shopping (to ensure enough that I want/need to eat) and on food planning. Hard exercise has also given way. In my defence, the 'other things' I've been focusing on are areas of the house that have been left for months/years until time made itself available. It seems as though the time arrived this week and I've made brilliant headway.

Off to my mum's on Saturday. Really, I should recognise that I don't have a very regular lifestyle. Doing that might help and I might be able to cobble together some kind of plan to assist myself in these different situations I find myself in.

saef, I agree completely with JayZeeJay. How are things going with leads to other employment?

Shannon, how are things going?

Really really hating my job these last few months. Nothing has gone right since November, when we elected a corrupt, narcissistic sociopath to lead our country and (unrelatedly) I got rejected by the NIH for a clinical trial application that they had strung me along about for the better part of a year. Since then, (1) the university forced me to "let go" of the wonderfully competent and energetic nurse that I hired to help me with my clinical work overload; (2) my longtime study coordinator retired, leaving me with a newly hired, wet-behind-the-ears director for my research operation; (3) our clinics, long a disaster due to insufficient (and insufficiently trained) staff and a terrible electronic medical record program (EMR), became even worse when we transitioned to a new EMR without enough planning or forethought, leaving everyone with seemingly double the "paper"work of the old system; (4) an always-antagonistic relationship with the senior research associate in our department has become nearly unbearable as she has had more and more work dumped on her, so she is responding by reneging on the commitments she made to support my research studies. The net effect of these 4 issues (I'm sure I've left something out) is that I am literally NEVER caught up, never done, perpetually bouncing from crisis to crisis without making a bit of headway in any on my longer-term projects. I have a constant knot in the pit of my stomach which I of course can't resist trying to soothe with food. I think I must be up to 135 but I don't have the courage to get on the scale. Pants are either tight or don't fit at all, and I am near tears practically every day. If you've been wondering why I've mostly stopped posting, now you know.

Sending supportive thoughts, Andrea, for finding a path through this jungle.

Down a pound, to 156.1. And I made an appointment for my yearly physical, deferred for about two months now, where my doctor will point out how much weight I've gained. My dread of hearing this from a doctor is intense.

Andrea, I agree, when work isn't going right, it's hard to make the rest of your life go right.

I had a calm, competent day at work yesterday, never making eye contact with the admin. I think she made a conciliatory gesture yesterday as she emailed our facilities team to get my cubicle name label corrected. (My first name is misspelled.) I ignored it. You can't rat me out with my supervisor and still be my friend. We are just coworkers. How I hate this kind of stuff, as I don't think it would happen within a group of men.

I think the men do it, just differently. And it's based more on what they achieve at work, rather than ratting out each other or shunning or gossip or any of those other lovely things groups of women still seem to do.

I have been the target of a "mean girls" campaign for a couple of years now. I just do my job, enjoy being out with the dogs, and talk to some of the male and younger female dogwalkers who are not part of the mean girls clique.

I was a loner in high school and this reminds me why. Silly but still painful.

Dagmar

To me it seems the phrase "work is h*ll" has become quite literal for you Andrea.

Dagmar

I'm okay. They released my grandfather from the hospital last night, after two weeks. That is a lot of weight off. I'm recovering from the flu that has had me down for about a week. Feeling a little better.

Andrea -

Saef - that kind of catty happens with men too, but in more direct ways I think.

Andrea, I'm so sorry. As if running a research program and being a clinician at the same time wasn't challenging enough already. What a mess; when all you are trying to do is help sick people and make forward progress in biomedical research and healthcare. The only consolation I've found in such situations is that nothing remains the same forever; time alone will solve/change some of this. But it's small consolation when you're in the middle of it.

"Nobody knew healthcare could be so complicated!" - our orange moron-in-chief.

Nobody except ALL OF US.

Saturday morning, and a small mercy: I'm at 155.8, when I thought my weight would spike from a rather salty lunch yesterday.

I don't have to work this weekend. It feels strange. I can catch up on deferred domestic tasks and maybe even have some fun. Mostly the former, as my mother arrives on Friday when my vacation days begin. What happens when the cage door opens but you're so used to living within the boundaries that you're not sure just how to venture out? There are so many choices to make, it's hard to know what to do. I suppose I should do what feels good. But what feels good?

Sunday morning, 156.5, after a Saturday of domestic tasks, including a long stint at the ironing board that felt like it ought to count toward the day's total steps or some form of exercise, just from standing, pacing and hanging up shirts. I like crisp shirts.

So bitter cold outside that leaving my apartment is not appealing.

I agree with you. I sometimes call it 'aerobic ironing'. It's also very good for loosening muscles if you're feeling a bit creaky and jammed up. And warming you up if it's very cold outside. I spent most of an afternoon ironing last week for these very reasons.

I'm trying to focus on regulating my food intake with patchy results. I packed food for the train - good. I ate at a cafe in an attempt to warm up - not so good. I went shopping this morning and body-swerved some of the things I sometimes buy when I'm at my mother's - good. But I'm not happy at how different my tummy looks in the bathroom mirror here since Christmas.

I say about decluttering that it all came into the house one thing at a time. I suppose body fat was created one mouthful at a time. My thought for the day - I'll see how useful it is to me.

I'm still plugging along, trying to ignore the endless grey cold wet weather. One day it was almost 50 - but that didn't last. No glimpse of the sun for a long time. But it's making me tougher (maybe); I ride my bike or run in the 35-40 degree pelting rain and wind on many days. It's miserable, though.

I was still managing to maintain my weight through this season and work stress, but last week I started backsliding. My mainstay of maintenance/slight loss is eating lightly at night and going to bed a bit hungry. I need to get back to that. Yesterday was DH's birthday so we ate out; I was fine at the restaurant but ate too much of the cake I made later. Today some coworkers are having us over for dinner. I never struggle with eating too much in front of other people, but the drinking tends to be an issue. I just can't drink more than half a glass of white wine or beer anymore, and they're all "substantial" drinkers. I think I'm developing an intolerance - my face gets very red immediately these days. My mom is entirely intolerant of alcohol now.

That's what started to happen to me too, JayZeeJay, and I've been entirely intolerant since I was about 55. Red face and breathing affected too. And so are a number of women I know around or beyond menopause. A few can no longer drink spirits or wine but can drink beer.

(There's a PhD in it??)

I'm in the same state - red face and then break into a sweat. Also seems to affect my sleep for days afterwards. Started after menopause.

Dagmar