Hi Carol, just wondering ... has your son been trying to lose weight by dieting?

My son and his wife, both in their 30s, are tall....over 6ft and have gained weight since they got married 5 yr. ago. My DIL has been eating healthy lately and has lot some but is kind of stuck. My son is a gourmet cook though not in that business right now. He has always been big since about age 10. Before that he was skinny. You wonder how the feast or famine cycle gets started. They have both gone to weight watchers. My son just loves to cook and eat. But if he could get ahold of IE, I know it would click with him. By the way, the CD by Tribole an Resch is excellent and there is quite a bit of new stuff on it. I think I'm going to finish it before I give it to my son.

So! A couple of interesting things have happened.

My husband and I have a fabulous relationship except with regard to our sex life. We've tried for years to work through it, and I feel like we've not really made any progress. I get frustrated, but he's so sensitive about the subject that it's the one thing we can't talk about. Over the years I've been "just dealing with it" (with my frustrations). One of the things I've been working on really hard with my therapist is identifying my emotions and finding other ways to deal with them besides eating or "stuffing" them down.

Yesterday afternoon I made a banana bread to use up some ripe bananas. The weather turned grey and cloudly, and that always makes me maudlin. I was suddenly overcome by the urge to eat lots and lots of banana bread. I checked with myself and I wasn't hungry. I had the very conscious thought, "I can either talk to {my husband}, or I can eat the bread." So...I went through and sat and talked to him!

And talk I did! WOW, I said a lot of stuff I've been holding in, and I asked a lot of questions, and I was very clear and calm and reasonable...and then I got frustrated and ranted. He listened to me and supported me and took care of me. Not only did I feel and talk about my emotions like I've really been working on, but I also didn't eat when I wasn't hungry!!

Gee, I wonder where MY food problems have come from. :p (I gained 114 pounds after we got married--married life has been really tumultuous.) I didn't understand in my gut what was going on, but this makes me really see it. I knew conceptually about eating down feelings and emotional eating and that sort of thing, but THIS particular incident, for some reason, really clarified it all for me.

I can work with this. :)

Then I wanted pizza tonight. I wanted to test how my body would react to it. I haven't had pizza in months and months and I really miss it. Pizzas really aren't available with non-wheat crusts, at least not pizzas that have regular toppings. There are some frozen pizzas with gluten-free crusts, but they also have things like organic smoked tofu and herb pate confit whatever for toppings. Anyway, I ordered a pizza. I ate two slices. My tummy started to cramp and I stopped at two pieces, then I just waited to see what would happen. Now I'm hugely gassy :o and my tummy is still sore. Guess I won't be doing THAT again, then. :p

But hey, at least I listened to how my body was reacting, right? So...progress!

Hi Sidhe, do you have Papa John's around? They have a whole wheat pizza. Here's a link for you: http://www.papajohns.com/menu/crust_wheat.shtm I've eaten it before and enjoyed it very much.

According to them: Check with your local restaurant for availability.

Congrats, sidhe, for working through your problems! I think your marriage will make a big turn-around at this point. Marriage is hard work. I didn't realize how hard until I got married. Great job for not turning to food in a stressful situation! :bravo:
I think I had a similar situation to your pizza eating last night. I made dinner. It was very good, but for some reason my stomach didn't like it. It was rumbling and grumbling for a while. I'm not sure what it's problem was, but it didn't like something. :?:
Still haven't had breakfast. Gotta run! Everyone have a great day! :coffee2:

Are they still available in your area? They used to do whole wheat, but for some reason they stopped doing it in our area. I should write to them!

Hmm. Good question. I haven't had Papa John's in a long time. I don't know.

How long have you been married? It's amazing, isn't it, how hard this is. My parents have been married 40 years, and I'm continually awed by it. Our next anniversary is nine years, and I've been really tempted to strangle DH many, many times already! :lol:

Fingers crossed that things start turning around from here. I'd really rather NOT live without that part of my life, thankyouverymuch. :p Another thing that is amazing is how hard it is to actually recognize and honor emotions before doing something like eating banana bread to make them go away! I never, ever have been one to do something like "eat half a pan of brownies" or "polish off a gallon of ice cream", but I certainly do eat for emotional reasons. My particular version is just constant eating. Generally in sane individual servings, but lots and lots and lots of different foods. Oi. :o

I hope your entire digestive system is happier this morning. ;) What a weird thing to say, but you know what I mean! :lol:

sidhe, I've been married now for 10 years and it's been mostly wonderful, with a few bumps. I find it's better to get everything out in the open if there is something bothering you. I don't mean fight all the time or anything, just get it out in the open. That way, you can deal with it. That said, I have been guilty of holding things in, too, especially if it is something embarrassing. :o

Huh, that's funny. I don't usually binge on anything, either. If I'm really hungry, I will grab the most convenient thing, though. I love lots of different foods, too. If it's food, I will eat it. :p

My stomach and I worked things out. It seems all right now. I don't know what it's problem was. :lol: Very tired again this morning. I really need to finish this book I'm reading so I can get some sleep. I'm almost done with it.

Hope you all have a great day! :coffee:

Hello, everybody!
Made some not-so-good choices today. Trying not to dwell on it too much. :( I have a salad planned for tonight. I'm kinda looking forward to it.
How are y'all doing? :D

The cold weather is making me hungry!!!

Hubby is venting his stress at house-buying in my direction, so I'm giving him space. And had cake for breakfast. And am sitting here trying not to eat apple crisp just because it's there...I keep telling myself it won't taste as great as it is if I'm not hungry, my body won't be so pleased with it if I am not hungry, and I can absolutely have it later when I am hungry. So far, this line of thought is working. But I make no promises!!

I'm also a bit dismayed that I've noticed I have gained a few pounds (from the fit of my clothing). I'm trying to just grit my teeth and keep going, keep eating when I'm hungry, keep stopping when I should. There's half a thought in my brain about "metabolically active tissue" that doesn't want to solidify yet. I think it would help me figure out the whole "your body will find its natural weight" thing, but until it takes shape I won't know for sure.

So yeah. Staying out of the apple crisp. Trying to buy a house and not strangle my husband in the process. Trying to stay calm about a small gain. That's where I am.

Maybe you could get the Intuitive Eating CD by Tribole and Resch from the library and get a little boost, Sidhe.

Hmm, have the book...I'll have to see if I can grab the CD...thanks!

Hi Ladies,

Haven't been here in a while. Just wanted to check in and say I'm still here and I think of all of you everyday. Still doing IE, but not losing. Just seem to hang around the same numbers bouncing back and forth. I figure if I keep at it that something has to give some time. I don't get hungry like I did so that is a plus. Started adding exercise. Hurts my back and hip, but I'm doing it very easy so hopefully that will help get things going.

Hope everyone is doing well.
Have a great evening.

Hi Trish. Great to see you. Strange thing happened to me. I have a temporary aversion to candy.

Hello Sidhe, Trish, and Carol,
How is everyone today? So, I've had 2 days of splurging and I'm trying to get a grip on myself. Carol, that's funny you said that. I gave away my salt water taffy this morning to my son's class. I ate 4 pieces in a row yesterday and then I felt sick. :p Not good. I figured I didn't need it if it was going to make me sick. I guess it's just too much sugar for me.

Hope everyone has a great day!
:D

Hi Everyone,

Carolr & CandEs I've gone through that too. Just realized that maybe it has something to do with October being the "candy" month. Remember all that junk we got on Halloween night as kids?

I've just done some research for DH because he has not been feeling well and the doctors can't find out what the problem is. Years ago I was told that I shouldn't eat anything with gluten. Not much was known about it back then and it seemed like to much work to fool with so I more or less forgot about it. I thought of it after seeing Hasselback talking about it on tv. So decided to research it and found a place where you could take a test. I don't have Celiac, but I am gluten intolerant. Read the symptoms and so much makes sense to me now of how I have felt over the years and why lowcarb eating has worked for me in the past. Lowcarb probably helped because I wasn't eating any grains so no gluten intake. So while I still intend to do everything with IE guidelines, I will use the non-gluten foods when doing it.

Blue, Julie, Sidhe and everyone else:wave:

Have great evening Everyone.

Hi, Trish,

They make a lot of gluten free products nowadays, but I've heard it is really hard to get rid of them entirely. I think Hasselbeck has a book out now that talks about it. Maybe it could work for you.

Good afternoon, all. :wave:

I have decided to pay really close attention, and thus have pulled out my journal! I'm writing the time, some sort of blurb about my emotional state, and then if I chose to eat something. Then I'm also writing how I feel after I eat, physically and emotionally. I figure, if I never learned when to stop eating, I've got to pay attention for awhile and see if I can learn it now. For example,this is what I have for today so far:

"8:15: Tired. Kinda groggy. Not really hungry, but hollow. Will have tea + milk + sugar.
9:00--Had a whole pot with 7 sugars and about 4/5 of a creamer of milk. Tummy feels sloshy--kinda queasy.
10:00--Krak [a local coffee shop]. Bought chocolate macaroons. Not hungry so I didn't eat them, but wanted to have them.
11:00--Looking at houses with April. Still a bit sloshy, but more toward hollow now.
12:30--I WANT to feel hungry. Still feel hollow. Is that a precursor of hungry, or is that how my body does hungry?
1:15--Did some grocery shopping, now headed home. No growling but I'm intensely aware of food and my stomach right now. Tummy hurts.
2:00--Ate a cucumber sandwich and a drink. Tummy still hurts but maybe not as much."

I plan to just take little notes like this and see what consistencies and awarenesses I can build. I was very interested by the fact that when I was driving home from seeing houses (12:30) I was thinking that I would go to Souplantation for lunch. I started to ask myself if I was hungry, started to tell myself that I could eat whatever I wanted, all that sort of patter. I wasn't terribly hungry (I didn't think--like I said, I'm learning!) and decided I would pick up some groceries that we needed and then see if I was more hungry later.

I was reviewing the groceries we needed in my head and the thought of a cucumber sandwich popped to mind, and suddenly THAT was what I wanted. A lot. I tried a bit to steer myself back toward Souplantation (I'll admit that part of me was thinking, "there's more food there!!") but really I wanted a cucumber sandwich. So I went to the store, got what I needed, came home and ate my sandwich. I was perfectly content, too. Hmm.

I will also admit that all of the education I have in the direction of "healthy eating" and "fitness eating" and such things is going nuts in my head. Thoughts are bouncing around like caffeinated monkeys on trampolines! :lol: I've only had tea with sugar and milk and a cucumber sandwich today. How many hours have I been up? How big is my body? How many calories do I need? How long has it been between meals (such as they are)? What about vegetables? Protein? Am I eating enough? :blah: :blah: :blah: I'm trying to ignore it all and make decisions based entirely off of what my body is telling me.

We'll see where it goes!

Hope everyone else is doing wonderfully today, hope you all check in!

Trish--I'm also not a celiac (my father in law is), but I definitely notice that wheat products affect me. They say it's becoming more common, and some experts have blamed it on the presence of processed foods in our diets (so the body 'forgets' how to digest them, and doesn't make the right enzymes in the right amounts). I don't know about that part, all I know is I feel better with less processed foods. :)

Because it's becoming so much more common, though, you have a lot of options for gluten-free foods. I don't know if you live near a Whole Foods or a Trader Joe's, but they both have lots of gluten free products (my father in law goes nuts when they visit from England). It's become so common that our local grocery stores even have gluten-free Betty Crocker cake and brownie mixes! :lol:

Good luck!

Hi, Sidhe,

I understand the hollow feeling you're talking about. I have that feeling often, and I think it is actual hunger. For me, it feels almost beyond normal hunger and into starvation. I'm not sure if that is what is happening with you or not, but that is the way it makes me feel. Good idea about the emotional journal. I was thinking of trying that, too. Today, I feel as if I'm back on track. I have been examining my calories at the end of each day to get an idea of how much I've been eating.
2 days ago -- 1500 cal
yesterday -- 2000 cal
today -- 1700 cal

Hmm.... Well, I don't know what to think of that so I will let it go. Night all!

I think they even have gluten free at Walmart. Here's a question for you all. Sometimes I go to bed a little hungry and wake in the night really hungry. Too tired to get up and eat, I am amazed in the morning I'm not hungry! What is that? Also I had to eat right away today because we are going to my son's to help him with his house. Didn't feel really hungry early on.

Carol,
I don't know what is up with that, but it has happened to me, too.

So far, I'm doing better today. Did not finish my breakfast because I was full. I'm resolving my "eat it because it's there" problems by giving my leftovers to the dogs. :) At least this way I don't feel it's going to waste.

How is everyone today? I didn't have cream for my coffee, so I used milk. Yuck! :p Oh, well, I know it's just a petty thing. Hope everyone has a great day!

Carol--I very rarely eat in the middle of the night. Or even in the evening, really. My body seems to stop with dinner. I usually wake up hungry, though. Do you possibly wake up with a different kind of hunger signal? Maybe...I don't know...how do you feel when you wake up? Do you bounce out of bed, or drag yourself out?

CandEs--How brave of you to count calories! Just the idea makes me feel hysterical and examined and HUGELY stressed, like I'm failing everything and can never, ever redeem myself. I would guess that your approach to notice but just let it go is a good one. :)

An idea I had about not wanting to "waste" leftovers is to take a really small amount in the first place. Like, half a serving. I consciously tell myself that I can have more if I'm still hungry, or I can eat later if I'm still hungry, or I can eat whenever my body needs to, or...well, there's lots of little things I tell myself, but they all essentially boil down to "you can have any food the next time you want it." I'm astonished at how quickly I get full! :lol: You always hear about how your stomach is about the size of your fist, and I have actually held a human stomach in my hands. And it STILL blows my mind how little I can eat and stop getting the "feed me" signals! :lol:

I finally got hungry, growling-stomach hungry, around 7:30 last night. My body told me I really wanted protein, too, which was startling. (Seriously--I'm not used to craving chicken!!) My husband wanted mexican food, so we stopped at Rubio's. I got a Health Mex chicken burrito and ate half of it. Put it down, walked away, decided I was still hungry half an hour later, and ate the other half. Then I was content. :) I am still updating my journal today. I only drank half my tea this morning, and the sloshy feeling was not there. Duh. :rolleyes: Now to just deal with the caffeine issue...

Off this morning to look at more houses. A house we really liked but lost to an all-cash offer is back on the market, so fingers crossed! :crossed:

Have a good day, everyone, I'll check back later. :)

Hello, Sidhe,
Well, :lol: I didn't know I was being brave! My reasoning for checking my calories was to see if I could actually lose weight while doing this. I wonder if I'm eating more or less than I did before I became so hyper-conscious of my eating habits. If I'm eating less calories than I did before, then I figure I will lose weight. If not, then I guess I won't. If only I had a day of eating written down from before so I could compare. I think I am actually eating less, but I'm not sure. I feel pretty good. Today, I figured it up again and I think I had about 1200 cal so far. I think writing it down has helped.

And, I know you probably won't believe this, but after breakfast I came to the same conclusion as you. :lol: I decided to put less lunch on my plate. I told myself I could go back and get the rest if I was still hungry. It almost worked. I was full for an hour, but then I ate a cereal bar because I was hungry again. I'm having to relearn everything again on this "not-diet". I remember doing this before. I remember my MIL complaining because I didn't put much on my plate, and I also remember getting angry with her! :D I guess I'm going to have to go through all of that again.


Good luck on your house offer! Hope it comes through!

I've actually had some success lately with not eating food just because it's there and "reasonable." For the last three days, I've had uneaten bites left of my breakfast Swiss muesli. Tonight I didn't finish my sushi and barely touched the sumi (cabbage) salad. I've eaten part of an apple without finishing the rest. Not that there weren't other things I finished without particular attention to hunger :) (although definitely not until over-full). Feels good. Now I need to start moving more. I really feel the need for it, I'm just world-class at procrastinating for no apparent reason.

I don't usually bounce out of bed. ha! Last night we went to a Mexican place with 13 of our family. I don't usually like Mexican but my DH and I shared carne asada and it was wonderful! Can't wait to go there again. We are working one day a week at my son's who is remodeling a house to sell. Poor guy...it has taken him a lot longer than he thought it would. Now today all I can think about is that carne asada and how I can't have it again for a week. Probably not good to think like that.

Hi, Julie,
I am a fellow procrastinator! :wave: I have the 8 Minutes in the Morning book and I started using it again this week, but I have been thinking about doing it for weeks. I like the book because I actually saw results and it didn't take a lot of time, although it does take longer than 8 minutes! He lies! I don't bother with the diet info he gives out. I just do the workout.

Carol,
I love Mexican food. We don't go out to eat much, so I sometimes make it myself. Hmmm. good idea for dinner tonight! :D

I think I'm doing better with IE this time because I found this site. I didn't have any support last time and I think that is why it fell apart. Thanks to everyone, and hope you have a nice weekend! :dancer:

My goodness, I couldn't live without mexican food!! I (mostly) grew up in Southern California, 20 miles from the US/Mexico border. Mexican food is just...part of the culture. We have mexican (either out, or homemade) several days a week. When I lived in London it almost killed me! They don't have mexican...even the last known :barf: Taco Bell :barf: closed, and I could find only refried beans and taco shells in the stores. That was 10 months of pain. ;)

Now, hotdish...I could live without that. ;) Corn on the cob, too. I'm very picky about the texure of my foods, actually, and there's a lot of midwestern foods I just can't touch. As for the east, well, I've never been there except when I was too little for it to matter (I was born in Connecticut) so I have no real idea what the food is like there. :dizzy:

Carol--Maybe you dragging out of bed is a sign your body needs food/fuel? Dunno. I have sleeping issues so I can't judge by when I'm tired/not tired, but if you don't have problems with sleeping then maybe it's an indication that your body is slap out of fuel and needs more. :shrug:

Julie--For some reason the idea of leaving part of an apple seems very odd to me. I don't think it ever occurred to me that I could! :dizzy: Leaving part of any fruit, really...for some reason I can't imagine it. I mean, can you picture leaving half an orange? For some reason that's just a revolutionary idea to me. What a novel concept! :lol:

CandEs--I agree, you guys are wonderful! I've been feeling so good, emotionally, lately. I look forward to coming in here and seeing what's new, and checking in myself. I think I've finally found my place. :hug:

I had a bit of something for breakfast then went to the gym this morning, and then got dressed to go to high tea. I go every saturday and it's a wonderful part of my life. The place is http://www.theaubreyrosetearoom.com, if you're curious. I didn't eat everything by any stretch of the imagination and felt really good when I left. Aaaaahhhh. :)

I'll eat when I get hungry, but I don't anticipate that being for another few hours yet! :lol: Have a great saturday, all, I'll check back later.

O M G, Sidhe!!! I would sooooo love to go to tea there! But, I live on the east coast, so I don't think that will be happening any time soon. I grew up out west, too. We lived in Nevada when I was little, so I understand about Mexican cuisine being a part of life. :lol: I really am making tacos for dinner! And Spanish rice with fat free refried beans (you can't tell the difference!).

Talk later! :D

Doesn't the tea room look lovely? I assure you, it's just a lovely as you can imagine it is! It's owned by a former patient of mine. I was telling her today that it's like Disneyland: nobody is unhappy there, and there's a sense of happiness and peacefulness (okay, maybe that's not like Disneyland ;) ) and joy there. It's my sanctuary. I go every saturday, take my book and just sit and drink my tea and soak it all in. There is peace there, and for 2 hours I Don't have to take care of anyone else, worry about anyone else, I can sit and read my book and be taken care of. :) If you ever come out to this coast I will TOTALLY take you there!!


Dinner sounds good, I want to invite myself! :lol: Hope you enjoy it!

It looks so beautiful! I know what you mean about it being like Disney. I'm always amazed by how wonderful it is there. If I'm ever out west, I'm looking you up so we can go. I will even bring a book! I wish they had something like that here, but as far as I know, they don't. Hmm.... maybe I could start one? That might be a good business idea.

Dinner was good, even if I do say so myself! :lol:

It's a deal, CandEs. :) (is your name Candice? Just wondering...) Glad to hear dinner was good. I've got leftovers that I'm really looking forward to for dinner. It's a recipe my family always used to make when I was little for scalloped potatoes with ham, and I looooove it. :)

I just had lunch, and I was really quite happy with myself. I had a doner kebab with a side of french fries, and I left a bit less than half of both. Now, I'm not congratulating myself on how much I left per se, but I'm very very thrilled that I managed to honor how my body was feeling and just leave it when I had had enough. I also intentionally "saved room" for a piece of baklava. It seems like such an exotic, "rare treat" kind of thing, one of those things that I'd glance at and not even consider a posibility for myself. So I bought it. And I ate it. I could taste all the different parts--the phyllo, the honey, the butter, the nuts. It was amazing and exquisite. In retrospect I think I had one bite too many (I ate the whole triangle), but on the whole I'm comfortable and content.

I remain, though, absolutely terrified of trying ice cream of any description. I haven't had actual ICE CREAM in nearly 3 years, and I'm completely overwhelmed by the idea of going anywhere near it. I try to avoid even looking at it in the grocery store! :lol: So maybe that's an issue I need to deal with. I don't know. Do you guys think it's okay to keep some foods on the "do not touch" list? Ice cream and cake/cookies...I just don't feel like I can cope with those, and I don't see where they need to have a spot in my diet. I mean, it's not like I'm cutting out some exclusive source of some vital nutrient! :lol: I don't know, what do you think?

sidhe, I think that's perfectly fine if you're doing what feels right to you, and not what you think you *should* do. And that goes both ways. Having ice cream because you think you *should*, even if you feel in your heart you're happier, at least at this point, without it, isn't being intuitive, in my opinion. I don't think it's the actual action chosen that matters, but the reason behind it.

Julie, I think that's a fine, logical, very intelligent perspective. Thank so much! :)

Honestly, when I allowed all foods at home, they lost their appeal. They are all the same now and many times I just don't want ice cream or candy or even cake which used to be my favorite but somehow lost its glamor.

Right now, I have ice cream, cake, cookies, uncooked cinnamon rolls, and it does not bother me at all. My family, on the other hand, has been going nuts. I think my husband is gaining weight. :o I didn't tell them I have started my "not-diet" again. I thought if I could have it around, then any cravings I had would dissipate. You know, it is there if I want it, and I really don't want it right now for the most part. I think it is somewhat relaxing for me to have it there. However, I think Julie is right. If you don't think you can handle it being around, then you don't have to have it there.

P.S. no, my name is not Candice, but I kinda like that. :lol: No, really, I tried to get my user name as The C & E's, but it would not let me have that for some reason. I didn't think about it saying "candees" until I saw it later on my posts. Someone I know works in a church, and she said they call people who only show up on Christmas and Easter "the C and E's". I thought it was funny. Now, I've been going almost every Sunday, so it doesn't apply to me anymore. :lol:

Hmmm. Given what's going on today, I don't know if I can let ANYTHING I feel unsteady about back in my life!!

Today was a total FAIL in terms of IE. :( I got up late--I had problems sleeping last night, fell asleep after midnight and was up from 4am-6:30am, then slept from 6:30am-8:30am--and woke up hungry. I grabbed some nuts on the way out the door (hubby was late getting to work). Got a message from our realtor telling us that the house had one offer on it over the weekend: all-cash, but significantly less than our offer. It's Columbus Day, so the banks are closed and we won't find out what the bank decides until probably wednesday. Um....imagine a string of ugly words here. :tantrum:

Made it to the coffeehouse to meet my friend and ordered cranberry-orange-cinnamon toast spread with ricotta cheese and topped with strawberries, and a chai latte made with soymilk. And chocolate macaroons. I put the macaroons in my purse and ate the toast, drank the latte and was off to do tasks for the day. Went back to my friend's house while she took care of some stuff, ate the macaroons even though I definitely, assuredly was not hungry. Then we went to lunch with my husband.

Half a mile walk to lunch from the parking garage. At lunch I consciously thought, "aaaah, screw it" and ordered a hamburger with french fries. I ate most of the meat, left the bun, ate all the french fries. Hubby went back to work and my friend and I sat and talked, and I gave in to the urge to order dessert. I ate most of it, with her son (3 years old) helping. Walk half a mile back to the car on a miserable right foot (strained my right plantaris yesterday), head off for more errands.

Hubby calls and asks me where I am, and can I easily come get him? I said no, I'm halfway across the city and we have my friend's car, I'd have to take her home, get our car, then get down to his office. He tells me he's not feeling well and he'll get a workmate to run him home. Um....okay.

Friend finishes her things, we drop her off and trade cars and I head home.

Hubby is home already and is bundled on the couch in a blanket, burning up to the touch and tells me he feels sweaty, cold, and nauseous, and his workmates all agree that he's caught whatever's going around the office right now. It's a 2 day thing, apparently. I go to the store, get him orange juice and other bits&pieces. I wandered around the store for a long time. I was thinking about ice cream, about the fact that I could HAVE ice cream, or wait I could have cake...or cookies...or cheesecake...wait, macaroni and cheese in the deli case!! The I realized I didn't actually want any of it. I totally was ready to buy something, but I really didn't want it. I asked myself what I wanted, if I could have anything in this world, and the thought, "a hug" (as corny as that sounds) came to mind. So I got my husband's things and left the store.

Now, hubby is sick. And hot. And REALLY does not want me close to him. Which I respect. So the hug thing is out of the question. I decided to order pizza, instead. Oi.

Let's just say that my tummy hurts now (Too much wheat, too much grease, too much FOOD). Because I didn't stop at two pieces. Oh no. I stopped at FOUR pieces. And a glass (maybe 4 ounces) of blackberry honeywine mixed with Asti.

I was going to make gluten-free pineapple upside down cake, too. Even went to the store, AGAIN, to get vanilla. It's still all in the packages sitting on my counter, though, because really, I'm just exhausted. Cuz really, baking a cake on top of a day dealing with insomnia and lack of sleep, housing woes/stress, my friend's very hyper and unruly 3-year-old, very sore feet from the 7-mile hike yesterday, a sick husband, and general run-a-house stress is just more than I can deal with.

I'm going to bed. Yes, it's not even 8pm. I'm going to bed anyway. Hubby's already dozing. I'll curl up in the spare bed and see if I can sleep at all.

I feel really hot, too. I am NOT getting sick!!!! :tantrum:

sidhe, your post reminds me a lot of another thread today about the snowball effect.

But what I mean by snowball effect is that it started (maybe; this is just me speculating) when you ate when you weren't really hungry, and got worse from there.

I'm sure some of us are more affected than others, and even the same person may be more affected one day than another. I bet your sleep deprivation was probably a big part of it (especially with all the other stressors). I bet on another day those macaroons might have just hit the spot and not set off a whole cycle of worsening. On another day maybe *resisting* the macaroons would set you up for problems. Today, maybe resisting, and instead consciously recognizing that you're sleep deprived and need *extra* care of your healthy today (and still fully giving yourself to have what you want when you know your body isn't out of whack), would have worked.

Maybe not. Just thoughts. Goodness knows I've been there and not always followed my own advice!

My answer probably reflects issues I'm working on - telling the difference between what I superficially want, and what I *really* want, if that makes any sense.