Sidhe, just reading your posts makes me hope I'm not getting sick. Awful. Hope you're feeling better today.

Sidhe, I'm sorry you had a bad day. Hope you don't get your hubby's illness. Don't beat yourself up about your eating. It will just make you feel bad. :hug:

Unfortunately, I am getting sick. My husband came home 2 days ago with a sore throat, and now he is coughing and sniffling all over the place. So last night I came down with a sore throat. It's just a cold, though. At least it's not the swine flu! My kids have been off for fall break. I hope they don't get sick just in time to go to school tomorrow. :( Oh, well, what can you do?

Hope everyone has a great day! :coffee2:

Thanks everyone for your steadying thoughts. :hug: I really appreciate it. Julie, your post totally made sense to me, and I managed to slow myself down and understand what happened yesterday. I think it did all start with the insomnia, and the combination of stressors on top of that sent me looking for some way to keep myself going. So at least I learned something to use in the future, right? :^:

I collapsed last night and slept 12 hours. This morning my stomach hurts and my liver is swollen and tender, my whole torso is bloated and even my hands are puffy. Ugh, ugh, ugh. But instead of feeling angry and upset with myself, I'm just taking notes. This, to me, is really solid proof that my body definitely doesn't like that much wheat. I'm sitting here drinking a pot of tea (very slowly) and seeing how my body takes it. Maybe later, if I'm hungry, I'll have some salad or something else light. I'm definitely listening to my stomach/liver on this one, and trying to help myself feel better.

Hubby is definitely sick, and is on the couch watching old movies right now. I've declared this a day to lay low and take it easy. A load of laundry just finished and needs to be swapped over, but other than that I'm really not making demands on myself.

I hope no one else gets sick. Carol, I'm trying hard not to jinx you from here! CandEs, take care of yourself. Lots of vitamin C. :) I hope your kids don't catch it, too. Here's to a better day, all. :goodvibes:

Oh, I'm so sorry you feel so sick! Feel better soon!

How can you tell that your liver is swollen? I have never felt my liver....or at least I don't think I have.

That's an excellent way to put it. :)

Your liver sits smack in the center of your body, right below your ribcage (your stomach is off to the left). I was swollen and sore when I woke up this morning, and palpating (touching) I could tell the approximate shape/size. and the tenderness/swelling...was liver-shaped. ;)

Ah, I was wondering this, too. Good to know. :D

Well, hello, everyone!
I'm coming off a totally crappy day. I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't rate up there with supremely terrible, but it was one I don't care to relive.
Food wise, it was perfect up until this evening. I didn't realize I had an emotional eating problem until tonight. I guess that is a plus, though. At least I am well aware of it now. :( Rotten day + stress = overeating (next time I'll remember). Still, I tried to eat something healthy, but it turned out to be really yuck, so I had to throw it away. Note: cottage cheese sold with the pineapple already in it is not good. From now on buy them separate and mix them yourself. From my disappointment, I moved on to the good stuff, and stuffed my face.
Oh, well. As Scarlett O'Hara says, "Tomorrow is another day!"

Hi everyone have been so busy with garden and all. but is done and i am still here. doing same losing and exercising still. in curves and love it. glad to hear everyone is doing good. sorry bout the sickness and all. LaDean

Hi LaDean. CandEs, I had a bad day too, but I worked all day with Dh at son's house he is fixing up to sell to I figure the damage wasn't too bad. We went out for Mexican and though I really like it, I think I can leave it alone for awhile now.

I've been pretty happy about my eating this week. I don't think I've overeaten (by fullness) at all, and my sweet tooth has been hiding in a corner somewhere. But I'm babysitting two of my nieces Saturday night, and that's what always trips me up - My siblings' homes all have all kinds of junk in them that I never keep at home. It's not that I'm not allowing myself to eat certain things. It's that I eat those things when I'm not even hungry. So I'm going to focus on not eating when I'm not hungry. :)

Julie--good luck with tonight! :)

Nice evening. I ate a Subway sandwich I brought before taking my nieces to McDonald's. No temptation for me there, even though I was slightly hungry, being vegetarian - the only options really are the yogurt parfait and the fruit/walnut/yogurt salad thing - both just too sweet for me anymore. I'm used to unsweetened Greek yogurt. Or maybe it's something else. My sweet tooth has just been really tame recently for some reason.

Then I had to take them to Dairy Queen, which their dad had promised them. Again, turned out to be easy, as it's only soft serve, and surprisingly that doesn't sound any good to me anymore now that I've embraced premium full-fat ice cream :) That felt really good.

Then after I got the kids to bed, I had a few bites of really good "real" ice cream from the fridge. Thought I could eat a lot of this, it's really, really good! I tried to pay attention to each bite - you know, the theory that the first bite is the best, and it goes down hill. Wasn't really going downhill ;). Anyway, I put it away and got ready for bed. That's when I realized I didn't want anymore ice cream. Not at all. I could remember how good it was, and that was nice, and I didn't want any more. Didn't have to even think about resisting for any reason.

That was a revelation. I understand about waiting to get full. But this wasn't about fullness. I only had a wee bit of ice cream, and in fact was still slightly hungry. But putting just a little bit of space in, I guess that let the taste satisfaction register. Nice. I hope this experience is repeatable.

Well, that was rambling!

Night all.

Well, it feels like I was doing so well, and now I'm having a setback. :( I'm hoping a will get past this soon. So far, today has been good, and I don't think I did badly yesterday, so maybe I'm going to make it through this. I've gained my "lost" pound back, but not any more than that. Maybe I am destined to be this weight forever? :(

I don't think so, CandEs. It just takes time. So if you go about your everyday life and don't dwell on losing weight, one of these days you will find that you have....eating between hunger and satisfaction, that is.

I think you have to consider how/why you're using the terms "good" and "bad." IE is not really about that. It can really be hard get past that or find a way for it to be healthy for you.

Carol and Julie, I know you are right, but I guess I just want to lose weight so desperately, I can't help but think that way. I know it's years of the 'diet mentality' that has caused me to think that way. Maybe I need to take a look at the book again. Thank you!

theCandEs, I know it's hard! I think most of us struggle with that. It's so ingrained. As an example:

I went a little overboard last night with the big bag of Jelly Flops my dad like to give to all us kids now and then. I've now given the rest to my nephews :). Mostly the problem was that I kept eating them even though they're too sweet for me. It was kinda (not severely) compulsive. If I had been more mindful, I would have eaten a few, and put them away because they were too sweet to really enjoy.

So I mostly think of that as an IE success. But probably I'm fooling myself a little bit. There's a little bit of good/bad thinking in there, and a little bit of dieting mentality. It's everywhere in our society, so don't feel bad about having trouble with it.

Hi, Julie!
Thank you so much for your support! It helps to know that I'm not alone with this. I look at the rest of the boards and I get sucked in to the "diet" way of thinking, so it makes me feel bad if I overeat or eat the "wrong thing."

I do think it was a success that you gave the candy away. Before IE, I would have kept my salt water taffy (from a few weeks ago) and eaten it, even though I don't really like it that much. Giving it away to my son's class was so freeing, and I don't even miss it.

Right now, it's the things I do like that are tripping me up, and my husband is overjoyed that there is so much "not-diet" food in the house. He's been going a bit overboard, and lately I've been right there with him.

I'm going to find time to sit down with the book today and go over some points. Maybe that will help me feel more in control.

Hope you have a great day, and thank you again!

Carol--Keeping my fingers crossed! I'm trying really hard not to dwell, too. :^:

Julie--I'd call that a success! You recognized it, and you stopped. Sounds like success to me! :D

CandEs--How timely!! This is the same issue I've been struggling with for the last couple of days, and I've been really trying to get all the ideas down in words. I also have been struggling with having gained a few pounds (I don't know how many, I haven't weighed myself) and a large, uncomfortable bloat in the last couple days since it's nearly TOM. I've been sore, uncomfortable, and PANICKED!!

Oh, yes, the panic. The panic has been relatively pervasive. I've been unable to think of much else, honestly, except "oh crap going through this AGAIN?? I can't diet again I can't I can't Ican'tIcan'tIcan't..." The thought of counting calories or Points or fat grams or veggie servings or pounds or ANYTHING makes me feel like I'm going to just lose it--and not in the good way!!

So basically. Given that I can't go back to dieting, what's my option? I have several, actually.

a) Eat entirely according to what my emotions want--which means a lot of empty calories, too many calories overall, and foods that make my body feel horrible. Guaranteed weight gain, and guaranteed deepening panic and disgust with myself every day.

b) Continue on the approach I am on. Stay with this level of effort and understanding of myself and my relationship with food, and how food affects me. Deal with the occasional bouts of panic and guilt. Generally be comfortable, in a certain definition of comfortable.

c) Accept that I still have a lot to learn about my body and how it responds to food, and work hard to deepen that relationship. Really be conscious of how food is affecting me IN ALL WAYS, and be conscious also of how I'm affected emotionally. Attempt to orchestrate both outcomes to my highest benefit.

So, I've chosen C. I've been keeping my notebook, but I've also been thinking long and hard about the idea that excess weight IS input from my body, and part of the way my body is trying to communicate with me about the food I give it. Not necessarily about the food itself, mind you--nothing so direct as being lactose intolerant or anything like that. But still, if I'm carrying excess weight then I am eating too many calories for my body and lifestyle right now. Which I've mentioned, but, um, never toward myself. :dizzy: Anyway.

I AM NOT DIETING. I'm not counting anything. I had one hysterical moment yesterday morning when I wrote down everything I had had for brunch, and that pushed me so far into the realm of browbeating myself that it pretty much cemented that practice as a bad idea. :lol: What I AM doing is:

*Notice that either I'm thinking about food, stomach is growling, I'm craving something, whatever. The topic comes up. I write it down.
*If I decide it's time to eat, I accept that my body needs food right now and look around for options.
*Of my options, I think really hard about how it will make me feel physically and emotionally, if it's something I need to be careful with, and what feedback I anticipate getting from my body after I've eaten whatever it is.
*If something is screaming at me to eat it, I kinda figure there's something else going on. So I try to figure out what's going on. I go back to my journal and write it out until either the craving goes away, or I have figured out that my body will be okay with me eating whatever it is.
*I eat it. :D I try to pay attention as I'm eating to when the food stops tasting marvelous (there's usually a point). At that point I go very, very slowly, bite by bite, to try to figure out when I've had enough. I'm kinda figuring "tummy full" is a feeling that's gotten me in trouble in the past, so I'm really trying to pay attention to how things taste. :dizzy:
*As you already know, I write, after I've eaten whatever it is, about how I feel. I kinda compare notes, to see if how I THINK I will respond is how I ACTUALLY respond.


Yes, this is a laborious process!!! :lol: But I kinda figure, if I want a different life then I have to live my life differently, right? I'm also pushing myself and challenging myself at the gym and with my activity level, but really that's not what this post is about so I'll leave it at that.

I also wanted to say that I spend a lot of time...talking myself down from the ledge, basically. In both directions. I try to be gentle and nonjudgmental, and just get myself to slow down so that I can hear myself think. I spend a lot of time thinking about consequences. I'm trying to be understanding and supportive of myself and my panic, right now, but also realistic. Do I want to regain weight I've lost? Well, no. Is it worth that risk and that fear for 5 minutes of candy? No, it's not. Do I want to go back to obsessing about everything, to browbeating and abusing myself about every single bite of food I put (or don't put) in my mouth? No, I don't. Then I'll put my energy into IE, instead.

That's a nice way to put it. It's not whether something is bad according to someone's rules. It's whether we're paying attention to what our bodies tell us. Sometimes they say that junk will make you feel awful - and then sometimes we ignore that. Sometimes they say, a little bit of that will really hit the spot and won't make me ill - and sometimes we ignore *that.* Neither one is right :)

I think both of those are things that we will probably spend a lot more time on at first, but necessarily forever. I think it will get easier. Like any new thing we learn.

Your whole post is great. Thanks.

Julie--Thanks. :) Yeah, I'm trying to keep telling myself that I'm learning. Now granted, some people know this stuff from the get-go, but they're not me and I'm not them. I guess I was so busy learning other stuff when I was little that I missed this part! :lol:

I think we all still have days when we eat for other reasons than hunger. I do. Last night I went a long time without eating and finally had a BLT with DH at home. Wow did that taste good. Hunger is the best seasoning, as they say. I'm off to the dentist today. Hope this is the last visit for awhile.

You know, I know the stuff mentally. But *really* knowing it is a different thing.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their help. :) I'm feeling much better today. DH finished off the strudel and that has helped me. lol

Hi. Haven't posted here in a while. Well, I now take mood stabilizing medicatons who's main side effect is weight gain. It's been difficult to swallow, I just wanna go on a diet. I really have to ell myself that the weight gain isn't my fault, and, as long as I exercise, it will not be too bad, and, more important, I'll be healthy. When someone asked me what was more important, my weight or being happy, I actually had to think about it, which, sadly, shows how brainwashed I still am by diet mentality.
I enjoy food more than I ever have, and don't find myself binging, like Iused to. I made a huge batch of cookies, and only had one. It's good to be back.
Amie

Hey, Amie, nice to meet you. :wave: I know some medications can cause weight gain, but if you need them, then what can you do? I took Lexapro after my youngest son was born, and it really helped me get through the "baby blues." If you feel better, then it is worth it. Plus, you might even feel like exercising now, too.

I'm still trying to get used to this IE thing again. I tried to do it a few years ago. I'm really hopeful this time.

Everyone have a great day! :coffee:

Hey, Candes. Yeah, I definitely feel better. Sometimes this IE thing takes some time to stick, it runs counter to the messages that bombard us from everywhere, about how we must be thin to be successful, and dieting is the only way to get there.

Hi Amie. Yes, IE is contrary to what you've always thought. I'm getting close to a 50lb loss but I'm not in any hurry. That is just opposite of what I used to feel. I want to start a thread on exercise but not for weight loss. I am procrastinating. I started exercising just lately for blood pressure and to improve my kidney function. I feel better.

Hi Amie!!! i know what you are going through. I gained a ton of weight on Depokote a while back. I am now taking Geodon and it is much better. More weight neutral. I also feel better. I was also asked that question, about what is more important and I also hesitated. It is just hard to take something when you feel like it is ruining your progress. But if you need it and it helps it is worth it. My weight loss is slow but at least I'm losing.

I love this way of eating. I am reading the book Thin Within. I ate Pizza last night from Pizza Hut and had a salad. I still lost a pound when I weighed in this morning. I will never diet again. I found out about this way back in 2001 after the birth of my son and I tried the Weigh Down Book and tapes. Lost a good amount of weight and got down to a size 12 before I got pregnant with my daughter in 2003. I gained it all back and much more along with the meds. I am confident that I can lose this weight now. I'm following the principles in the Thin Within Book and it is working. I still refer back to the Weigh Down books also cause they are similar principles involved. Thanks for starting this Thread. I feel like I belong here.

Amie, yes, I agree 100%. They may call it a "lifestyle change" or whatever, but if there are restrictions, it's a diet! I don't need a diet. I need a way to make it through the world we live in today. I need to know how to not put so much emphasis on "good" and "bad," and just think of it as neutral.

Carol! You give be so much hope! I'm striving to be like you.

Natoshial, your weight gain sounds similar to mine. I gained during my first pregnancy. Lost the weight with WW, then put it back on with number 2, and here I am, wanting to lose again. I'm going to do it the "right" way this time, though. With WW, I just felt so washed out. It was easy to put the weight back on. I felt like I desperately needed nourishment. I don't want to feel that way again. What is this Thin Within book? Maybe a trip to the library is warranted.

P. S. Carol -- what sort of exercising do you do?

I use an eliptical and do body flex.

Oh, I guess you have your own equipment. I have been using a book for some exercises. It's not cardio, though, so I will probably do some walking for that.

We live in the country and a long way from any gym so my DH bought the eliptical. I have just become faithful about using it, however.

Hey, everyone. I'm new to this thread, and pretty new to the forums. I hang out in the "Chicks in Control" section a lot, because I tend to eat when I'm not hungry. Then I heard about Intuitive Eating -- and -- wow! It sounds marvelous! Especially since I've learned from past experience that counting calories a) makes me crazy and b) just makes me binge more.

At any rate, I really want to get to a point where IE is a way of life for me, and I hope that there'll be enough info & support here for me to get there. :)

Hi, Skyra! Nice to meet you. I am relatively new here myself. I am really glad for my new IE friends. They have helped me a lot. IE is wonderful, but for me it has been hard to get used to. However, I think we all have the ability to become intuitive eaters.

:welcome:

Welcome, Skyra! The more points of view the better :)

There are now 10 threads without about 500 posts in each so that is a lot of reading if you have the time, Skyra. Welcome.