[coastalsue]

Evening to all,

A long hectic day. I am beat. Kind Dh did make a low cal dinner. Had a great snack of prawns and low cal cocktail sauce first then a hugh salad. Followed by a small portion of basil pasta. We were nicely full, yet i craved more food-not due to hunger but an old pattern of overeating when tired. I kept thinking oh I'll have a bit of ..., no wait I am not hunger but tired. I bet I went over that idea about 20 times -never did eat, but boy it sure was a reoccurring thought.

Maryblu I think my MN Olsen grandparents would be ashamed about what a califorinian I have become-wind chill of -40, burrrrr. One of the reason I like where we live is all the green trees, lots of water (ocean not lakes tho), lots of wildlife and few people-kind of like Northern MN-but almost no time below freezing. Admire your hardiness.
I agree eating a wide selection of food but small portions is a good way, There becomes for me a natural selection to have tasty and often lower cal foods. I am picky- not wanting to waste my daily calorie allotment on oh hum foods nor too much high caloric foods at the expense of staying hungry.
Really been working a eating slowly-finish every bit a food in my mouth before adding more food. It take a long time to really chew every bit of the membrane in an orange.-still all kind of weird to me

HI sue#2-some great things to accomplish-No Binging plus treadmill work. such a "good" excuse to say don't have the my joggers and not do the work-Nice work plus feeling the gain in confidence not to binge-This non-hunger "must have something to eat" really does pass. It is kind of like a 2 year old throwing a temper tanturm, if it does not work they just stop the tantrum. Same truth for us, if we don't reward the impluse to eat (for non hunger reasons) with food, it goes away.

BillBlueEyes-You are best in keeping your food focus. I have been working on have some and then leaving alot of high caloric foods on the plate like you did with the corn muffin. I see my thin friends do that a lot. Get some treat, love it, and then walk away leaving half of it there just because they have had enough. You are becoming a true thin sir.

Heidi-glad Beck is working for you and of course good thought about Henry.

Erika-SuchATwin waving-hope things are going well in your busy lives.

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches - Again, Thank You for your support and kind words; the trip is behind me. I aced the last three meals: breakfast buffet (again without the meats, pancakes, or pastries), incredibly good Indian buffet for lunch (only ONE plate when everyone else had seconds), airport purchased banana and sandwich for dinner. This time I easily skipped the airplane snacks because they didn't fit my plan to only accept "gourmet chocolate." CREDIT moi.

Today I try to shift my focus away from angst about eating. Begin with meeting an old friend for breakfast - a refreshing, spiritual type of discussion. Then catch up on gym and walking. Then some RL stuff.


Sue (CoastalSue) - Kudos for working through the tired evening - such clarity about what you were facing and what you were doing. And thanks for your neat ideas that became my airplane snack plan, LOL. This changing the mindset thing does seem to work.

MaryBlu - Stellar perspective there to read Robin's story as reveling in her advantages of being thin; great reinforcement of our own Advantages Response Cards. I'm going to try that. Kudos for success in serious cold weather. I have this image of you and Dr. Zhivago walking through your house looking for a bite to eat. Seems to me you've succinctly captured a plan for success with "I decided to dance with the one who brought me."

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Continued good thoughts for you, DD, and Henry.

SUE #2 (SPIRITANGEL) - Big kudos for avoiding the binge. And big kudos for your treadmill workout despite having a laughing DH instead of joggers. So, you've reached the dreaded Choose a Diet Coach day. Have you already selected a RL coach? Do you intend to ask this group to be your coach?

Readers - "When I’m tempted to eat something I shouldn’t, I need to pull out my list that contains all the reasons I want to lose weight." Beck, pg 13.
__________________
XXXXXXX 7 XXXXXXX 14 XXXXXXX 21 XXXXXXX 28 XXXXXXX 35 XXXXXXX 42
Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

[maryblu]

Greetings from the frozen northlands. It was a balmy 24 below this morning; it is now a toasty 10 below for a high. It is even freezing my stupid 'puter. I just drafted a long, thoughtful, serious Beck post, and the stupid wireless kicked off and then I am not even sure where my post went, but oh, well, another time.

I just had to say hi to all, credit, all...wow, I LOVE hearing your successes; I see progress!

CoastalSue: now I *get* our connection. ..Olsen grandparents....lol....the Danish spelling......I am not a good Dane; I am a GREAT DANE!!!

BillBE, you are in a great spot, so to speak, to be able to let up on the "constant vigilance" and have a non-food focused day. I think I can't take my eye off the ball quite yet!

Time to stoke the furnace.

[coastalsue]

HI folks,

Maryblu-brrr-love your humorous description of the weather. I was born in Ely MN-boundary water plance near Canada I remember snow in June. Inspite of the spelling- my family was Norwegian -probable spelled wrong by some immigration officer in the early 1800's-but the 1st names were Anna, Carl, Ole-But the Danes are great folks!! -let stay connected.

BillBlueEyes-your day sounds like fun-Hope you and your friend have a great conversation. Your resolve with the trip is quite an achievement to be with all that free but caloric food and not indulge. -plus conferences (to me)can be rather boring, stifling, and often I get feeling of being trapped and stiff due to underexercising. So not giving into free, abundant food while being bored, caged up and watching other over eat- much much credit for the stead fastness.

I have closely following many of Beck concepts and I have taken all but 0.4 lb of the holiday wt gain. I do remain focus but this is a real "eatty" day-just want treats. I know I am not hunger and therefore not having any thing-but lusting thoughts of ice cream, ect keep coming into my head. I had a delicious and hardy lunch-I need nothing until dinner. Like Jimmy Carter I have lust in my heart, but remiaining loyal to Beck.

Day 5-
Eat slow and mindfully.

another hard to do yet useful practice. Even my Dh has learned to wait 20 minutes after food and alway finds out then that he is full. This has all help me learn that hunger rarely the reason for me to want to eat.

My portions may be small, but I am going to enjoy them by slowly eating.- let chocolate completely melt in my mouth, chew eact bit of an apple or orange before adding more fruit.

Beck mentions a possible sabatoging thought of it being unnatural-honestly I have been embrassed about how quickly I can finish a meal with company and then worry about how long to waiting when can I have seconds while they're just starting on their plate. I think my speed unnatural.

I do try drink water during to meal to slow down and will sometime put my fork down while I chew. My biggest mantra is to tell myself to have an empty mouth before adding any thing else into it. This does take focus for me-if stimulated-others eating fast, passionate conversation, exciting entertainment. I forget for some bites and in it quickly goes. I am starting to catch myself more and more. I truly believe that key to my weight loss and maintainance is small portions-I better learn to savor each bite because that is all there is baby for this meal.

Hope all is well for everyone.

sue

[wendylan]

Hello everyone,I would like to join the group if you have room for one more.I have been reading the Beck program for awhile now and am reviewing days 23-26 focused on sabotaging thoughts and changing my thinking. This is the most difficult part for me.I am following the Weight Watchers flex plan and have just started a 8 week Weight Watchers at work program. We are in week 3,I need alot more than just the Weight Watchers meetings to lose this weight.I lost 3.4 the first week but stayed the same the second.I get so frustrated and I just want to give up,what makes it worse is my coworkers are doing better and losing faster than me.I know why this is though,I eat more than I have allotted points and I love sweets,I get very cranky when I can't have them.Some of my sabotaging thoughts are:I want to quit,This is too hard,It's not worth it,It's not fair,I can't stop myself and This sucks!!! I am working on responses to these thoughts and the workbook is helpful also.I want to join this group to be accountable.Beck really is the only way.I believe CT works and can work for me,I am a psychiatric nurse and I was looking for a plan like this.I know people can change and I see these kind of therapies help others.I especially like "do it anyway Even if I don't feel like using a diet skill,I have to do it anyway.If I do only what I feel like doing,I won't be able to lose weight and keep it off" quote from the workbook advantage cards.Also "NO CHOICE". Sometimes you just have to be strong and just say no.Well my name is Wendy,I am fast approaching 40 and have 80 pounds to lose.I am married with two boys and two mini poodles,I work as a psychiatric nurse with chronic adults.thank you wendy

[maryblu]

Welcome, Wendy!

It sounds as if you are well on your way to sorting through the sabotaging thoughts and replacing with helpful ones. 80#s is what I lost initially (pre-Beck) and I was older than 40 at the time, so I know you can do it! I just hope I can get this da@$^%@%^ regained 14 off, because it feels like about 45!

CoastalSue...Norwegian is OK with me, too! I am 1/2 Swede, 3/8 Norwegian, and 1/8 Dane. How Minne-sodan is that?? I do speak Minne-sodan, too!

Now, for a roll-up-my-sleeves thoughtful posting on the BDS. As you all know by now, it takes me a while to ponder previous posts....and then, allofasudden, I spout forth! :-)

I have been thinking about the binging challenge identified by SPIRITANGEL. Here is what stopped me COLD, Sue#2. This was pre-Beck, but after I had my relapse and had gained wt. back, and was back so $%@^@^%@ pre-occupied with food. However you define a binge, to me it means eating when not hungry, eating way past full, and being more focused on food than anything else.

This is the hardest of the Beck strategies for me to do, but the single most effective one. It is only hard because you have to do it. You have to do day 15, you have to write down every single mouthful of food that you eat. It was impossible for me to binge when I did that faithfully. If you have to stop to write it down, stop to think about how much did I have....for me, it bought me the time to realize it was just nuts.....it wasn't any fun any more (not that it is *fun to binge)...I just find it impossible to eat beyond waaaayyy full, to eat stuff that I am not thoroughly enjoying (or even identifying, to some extent) to eat mindlessly when I am writing it down.

Beck lists a lot of reasons for monitoring and writing in the day 15 chapter, but she doesn't address this binge-stopper phenomenon much. It can't be only I who reacts this way, can it? For me, anything that buys me that moment, that pause to stop-the-madness......works.

I jumped us ahead a bit, but I really wanted to put that out there in the hope that it helps.

Stayin' warm.........NOT.

[BillBlueEyes]

wendylan

And, in case you didn't received a proper one (5 years ago !!!):

Welcome to the Beck Diet Solution discussion group, support group, diet coach group - certainly there's room for one more!!

You've moved pretty far along in the Beck 42 day program! Feel free to jump right in with discussion on any part, or, to get in sync with our current discussion starting from the beginning, perhaps to post a few top items on your Advantages Response Card - or all of it - to let us get to know you. We're on Program-day 5 which Sue (CoastalSue) started. She committed to start the discussion about Program-days 5 and 6, then we'll need someone to start Program-days 7 and 8 in the week after that.

__________________
XXXXXXX 7 XXXXXXX 14 XXXXXXX 21 XXXXXXX 28 XXXXXXX 35 XXXXXXX 42
Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches - Dropped my pedometer yesterday, then stepped on it. RIP. The bummer is that I'm not that honest when estimating my own steps for the day. But, it'll only take me a couple days to get a replacement. Oh Well. Did OK at breakfast at Au Bon Pain yesterday. It's been years since I've had their croissants. I lightened up on my snacks during the day to cover all the hidden butter, LOL. Those French certainly know how to put butter in food.

I do like the Program-day 5, Eat Slowly and Mindfully, notion of savoring each bite. So much pleasure to be had from food when eating with awareness.


Sue (CoastalSue) - Congrats on your progress in losing the holidays' gains. I've caught myself shoveling in a new fork of food while still chewing the last. Working on that helps to slow me down.

MaryBlu - Good grief ! "it is now a toasty 10 below for a high." Hearty folk you Minni-sodans. I feel a tension between my focus on food which, presumably, led to my successful weight loss and maintenance, and my desire to reduce food to a smaller place in my daily existence. I want to think like a thin person, but not all the time.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Good thoughts for you, DD, and Henry.

SUE #2 (SPIRITANGEL) - Hope your weekend is going well.

wendy (wendylan) - Congratulations for the loss in your first two weeks of WW. I know that it's frustrating when the scale doesn't show consistent losses from week to week. Oh Well. The body tends to meet it's own needs. It's great to have the affirmation from someone in the business that Cognitive Therapy (CT) works; it's new for me and I carry this Sabotaging Thought that it's just smoke and mirrors because it isn't complicated, LOL. I hear you on the Sabotaging Thought: "I can't stop myself." I like that Beck is convincing me that each time I stop I'm further developing the skill to stop, even if phrased as strengthening my resistance muscle.

Readers - "Just because I’m hungry doesn’t necessarily mean I should eat." Beck, pg 13.

__________________
XXXXXXX 7 XXXXXXX 14 XXXXXXX 21 XXXXXXX 28 XXXXXXX 35 XXXXXXX 42
Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

[hbuchwald]

Hi there everyone..
Still laughing at the visual of Spiritangel in high heels on that treadmill! HA!!

I will have to find the success stories Mary-Robin sounds so inspirational. And what you say about her solidifies what we all know about BDS...it may also be an example for us that the steps we are doing don't have to feel "canned" or artificial like they do sometimes (crediting onesself, etc..). I am going to read the success stories.

Really bad news about my doggie-he took a turn and spent last night in the hospital on iv...we will visit him this morning and I have to decide if I need to euthanize. My heart is broken.

BIG sabotaging thought: "This is a very hard and emotional time...I would rather put my energy here and not worry about what I eat right now. I deserve to eat to comfort my aching heart." Response: "During emotionally difficult times, more than ever, it is important for me to take care of my body. I cannot be strong for my daughter if I dont' take good care of myself first. I have chosen to be on a plan to lose weight. My body needs to be on my plan under all circumstances."

Off to plan what I will eat today and read my ARC's. I really need strength today...I can do it though.. til tomorrow, Heidi

[coastalsue]

Dear Heidi,

This is a heart breaking day-So sorry to hear how ill your pup now is. You. your pup and your daughter will be in my thoughts today- sending healing thoughts.

sue

[maryblu]

Oh, Heidi,

I am so sorry about the situation. I wish I had some wisdom to share, but I don't; I can only say that I am thinking of you.

to you and your DD and to Henry.

[BillBlueEyes]

Heidi - Ouch! Sending my best healing thoughts for all of you.

__________________
XXXXXXX 7 XXXXXXX 14 XXXXXXX 21 XXXXXXX 28 XXXXXXX 35 XXXXXXX 42
Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

[wendylan]

Heidi,this is just awful news about your doggie,thay are members of our family.I hope things will work out for the best for you and your family.Stresses like this can derail a diet quickly but it sounds like you have it under control.It will not make it better to overeat and you would probably feel worse after but that is hard to see when you are going through it.I have sat many nights with a big bag of sour candy or peanutbutter cups eating them till I felt numb but this is no help.
Today I have managed to stay on program and got to the ymca to swim,36 laps=1/2 mile.I have been working on building up to that number over the last month.I take my boys with me and they swim in rec swim while I am in the lap lane.I try for 3 times a week.I went Sat and Sunday because of my weekend off.Swimming is my favorite exercise so we signed up for the indoor pool.
I was thinking about the binge topic,I do sometimes binge at night.I love to start with pizza and chicken wings and then eat candy[sweet tarts,sprees,taffy] the rest of the evening.I don't feel uncomfortable from eating that much,perhaps because it is over a period of time or my stomach is streched real big.But it is definetly a binge and I am doing it to feel emotionally better.This is something I stuggle with at times,especially when I start thinking"I deserve this,I worked all day or week I'm tired and I am not cooking!" Response I do deserve a reward but it does not have to be food,I can stop and get a movie to watch or a new book to read.I can pick up rotissiere chicken and salad or even pizza with lite cheese and vegetable toppings.I try to have things on hand so I can eat soup,salad,sanwiches and some quick things for the rest of the family.Also I binge more when I have been depriving myself,I have to leave room for small treats.
I hope everyone is having a good day,wendy

[wendylan]

just wanted to try my tracker

[SPIRITANGEL]

Fellow Beckers I have had a horrible eating day. I have binged and made myself very SAD!!!!!!!!
It was okay calorie wise yesterday but my eating was chaotic. I didn't eat proper meals, just grazed and impulsively ate. This morning I woke up and ate when I felt like it........eventually became a binge.
I have eaten many many bad foods. My calorie limit must be about 4000!

PLEASE TAKE IT FROM ME- I HAVE EATEN ICE CREAM, CHOCOLATE, DESSERTS ETC AND NONE OF THEM EVEN TASTED THAT GOOD. BEING HEALTHY AND KEEPING TO PLAN FEELS WAY BETTER!

Well I had 8 days of binge free eating and that is very good for me.
Time to get back on track and LEARN from this.
I need to eat 3 proper meals a day like a normal person and snacks when hungry. I'm going to listen to my beck audio disk now.

Hope everyone has had a nice weekend. Thinking of you all!
Wendy- Welcome aboard! Nice to have you on here.

Love Sue #2-