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Old 01-15-2008, 04:29 PM   #91  
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Morning to all,

It is behavior s.t.u.p.i.d. I like this motto Maryblu. I changed it to s.t.u.p.i.d. to Sticking to useful program is daily.

Just got my book back so I am attempting to review day 4. To learn to give oneself credit. Why-build your confidence . For me it is undo years of feeling helpless after regaining weight after getting off many strict but “miracle” diet.

Remember every time you are self critical- you undermine your confidence

How to give your self credit
While the act of giving myself credit is very hard for me, if I reframe it to the act of giving credit to building my confidence to be healthy then it is much easier for me.

Beck has some of the following ways to increase giving yourself credit.

Acknowledge your good choices with phrase-great!, I did it ( I am more likely to say great healthy choice!!, your joints will like that choice, Here’s to shrinking fat cells!!. I like visualize healing versus just being a "good" girl.
Reading a response card-stating give yourself credit for the what you did during the day.
Checking off to-do lists
Putting pennies in a container for each positive behavior you acknowledge
Treat yourself like you would your best friend talking about his/her successes and failures.-aknowledgement and support. Words to increase confidence and not to undermine their abilities.

Why is this hard- what are your reasons?

My two biggies are
1. This feels childish
Helpful -This is working on the permanent weight loss by acknowledging my changes.

2. I don’t deserve credit- If I make any food “mistakes” during the day.
Helpful- I read that we make an average of 200 food choices each day. I made a heck of lot of good ones. Beating myself up only increase my sense of helplessness. My goal is build my confidence- heck I have done many healthy things today. Change the mistake into a learning prompt on how not to do that again.-

Thanks-doing and posting a chapter really helped me get it. I'll do day5 in a couple of days. I really encourage folks to review a chapter on the forum
it helps focus the thinking.

Met friends and swam today. they are both very active thin folks and I they commented on strong and fast I was in the pool. It felt to good to get any compliments for being physical as I am very slow walker using a cane. I alway feel like I am 20 yrs and 135 lbs in the pool-plus no pain on my joints.


BillBlueEyes-what a great meal-You just can't get such exotic foods at a chain or hotel.( or within 150 miles of where I live) Relish you chances for such a treat. Remember that you so enjoyed it and remained on plan-got alot of excellent behaviors going there. Your trip will be a food success. The Calif weather has left Boston and today we have had a cool but finally a sunny day. I love to look at snow but no longer know how drive nor walk in it.

Big wave to everyone
sue
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Old 01-15-2008, 11:09 PM   #92  
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Hi everyone,

Not too bad of a day today. Got up early and did yoga; stuck to plan. credit moi! i am on day 15 right now - monitor your eating - which I was doing anyway, but it's quite powerful combined with day 14 - plan your food in advance. So I just enter the choices in my online WW tracker the night before and then - NO CHOICE! simple yet brilliant.

SuchATwin - Congrats and major credit to you for your 1.5-pound loss!!! I am so happy that the suggestions are working for you!!

Welcome SPIRITANGEL! I have done the binge thing and I know that for me it is not really about the food. I think these guidelines are just the thing ... but then of course for me it's also addressing the underlying issues ... am hoping CBT will work for that as well.

MaryBlu - So true, just do it!! fake it till you make it, as it were. Overthinking is certainly what got me into this mess in the first place.

Heidi - Kudos for a great day and great to hear that Henry is doing better!! V. interesting approach by your therapist re: 'brainwashing' ... I like it <g> sneaky yet effective!!

sue - I have just bought that book you suggested ... thank you!! I have been a big Kabat-Zinn fan for years and I recognize some of his techniques on the meditation CD. One thing I am concerned about though. An hour a day!!!!! I do realize that I have to make my mental health a priority ... but I am already getting up super early to do yoga, etc., practising 2+ extra hours a day for this concerto, taking time to record my food, plan meals, eat slowly, post here ... and I already don't watch TV at all!! I can see that it is important but I am concerned that I will overwhelm myself with daily must-dos and end up in the pit again ... any suggestions???

I really admire how you take this process so seriously and thoughtfully ... your posts are much appreciated!

Bill - Kudos to you for keeping up healthy eating and exercise on yr trip!! Way to go!

Anyway, sleep is priority #1 now so off i go. have a great wednesday all,
Erika
p.s. shout out to Ann and Lori , my fellow canucks ... hope you are doing well!

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Old 01-15-2008, 11:51 PM   #93  
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Can you feel it? I can. It's partly picking up new Beckie friends, and partly we seem to be really getting serious. A little success goes along way, and shared success is the best!

BillBE, wherever did you get the idea that I have trouble giving myself credit??Moi? Little ol' moi? CoastalSue said it all for me! Everything she said. And speaking of CoastalSue, friend, even though the thought does come first, boy, I couldn't have said it any better:

"While I agree that a thought does come first, I have become a master of hiding them from my consciousness."

You nailed it exactly. Just exactly. We do have the thought, though, and more awareness now, and many of us have said, if we can just stop for a moment, anything that can buy us a little time to think through a helpful response, it does get easier.

Thanks to all for the great thoughts and support.
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Old 01-16-2008, 05:52 AM   #94  
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Thumbs up Wednesday - Leaving, on a jet plane

Diet Coaches - This afternoon starts the rescheduled trip. DW "found" some lentils last night so we had her really wonderful dal with nan (curried lentils with Indian flat bread). Some on-plan eating is soooooo much better than some of my previous meat-centric eating. "Here's to starving my fat cells." Did my reduced gym sets, pushing myself by extending the reps to get a little muscle burn. Rewarded myself with a protein shake because those of us building muscle (LOL) need the extra protein. CREDIT moi.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Thanks for the review of Give Yourself Credit. I was struck by the thought of taking credit for the majority of 200 food decisions in the day, rather than beating myself up for the "mistakes". I just love the image of your proficiency in the water and receiving the compliments for it. Kudos to you.

MaryBlu - The idea is more visible after you write it, "anything that can buy us a little time to think through a helpful response." It's like the old count to ten before yelling at your kids kind of thing. Perhaps it's a similar ponder for ten before putting anything in my mouth to give my brain time to ask if I'm about to eat to solve a hunger problem. At the sight of food my brain tends to go Homer Simpson, do-nuts, LOL.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Thinking about you, your wise 5 year old, and Henry.

Erika (eusebius) – Kudos to you; kudos are due for every day on plan. The issue you raise about adding too many "daily must-dos" events in the day reminds me how drummers can quiet a chanting crowd at concerts - they drive the crowd to chant faster and faster until they all stop from exhaustion. Must remember that making choices is part of my life, even when I'm choosing between multiple good for me and should be high priority activities. I am capable of beating myself up for not going to the gym even though it was a day that I spent many hours shoveling snow - a high priority responsibility as well as a terrific arm exercise. I'm also aware that if I spend too much time on Beck and food thinking that I'm capable of dropping out rather than just decreasing the time. Last thought: working this might help me with my clutter issue. I was struck once when I read that the difficulty of downsizing possessions isn't just getting rid of the useless clutter that never should have been saved, but in choosing between two cherished, valuable items when you only have room for one.

SPIRITANGEL - You're the first person who has reported listening to Beck on an iPod while walking; what a neat way to do it. Good insight to see the need to counter the Sabotaging Thought that a "mistake" justifies ditching the whole day. What Helpful Responses might work for you in that situation?

Readers - "Whether you’re depressed or content, a stay-at-home or working parent, a binge eater or social eater, a dieting novice or dieting pro, the Beck Diet Solution can help you." Beck, pg 22.

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Old 01-16-2008, 09:18 AM   #95  
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Fell out of plan, off the wagon, ran off in a ditch…how do you say en Francais… stupido. I mention the negative here for the sake of analysis. Here is what happened. After a long day at work, I met my husband at a local restaurant for dinner where we proceeded to order and consume big hamburgers and French fries. If I could rewind the event and listen to myself my thoughts were something like this, “ I deserve this. I worked hard today, chose wisely earlier, I am starving and I don’t care.” Plus, Bill, get this, it was free thanks to a gift card. Beckies, watch out for those freebies. There must be a bad seed element in getting something for free. Anybody remember “The Bad Seed” movie? In a conversation with myself I could have said: “ You have done well and you should feel good. Will you feel good 10 mins. after you leave your plan?” (Credit that thought to Beck—Chapter 16.) “You can enjoy a beer, hamburger patty with cheese and mushrooms and a salad. Your satisfaction with yourself will feel better than less than satisfactory French fries tastes.” I am grateful for the sunset and sunrise, for a new day and another chance.
Did I welcome you, Spirit Angel? Hello. You deserve big credit for setting a goal and a reward. Think of that as gas in your tank.
Sue: LOVE the anagram--especially the last initial which you made stand for "daily". Life and choices are daily and we all will do well to remember that.
Maryblu: yeah, if we could just "stop for a moment". I am thinking I need to visualize one of Erika's yoga poses where I can breath and release long enough to gather a positive thought when in those tempting free public food situations. Bill: thanks for sharing your exotic food choices as they sound interesting enough to challenge me to look for new happy and healthy eating opportunities. Erika: I admire your disciplined approach to planning your day. By the way, I read your blog site and really enjoyed it. Knitting is a great way to keep the mind and the hands away from food.
Waving to the non-posting for the moment Beckies!
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Old 01-16-2008, 11:28 PM   #96  
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Sue: I am going to check out the book you recommended about depression. VERY good that you are finding a plan that is working. It is so smart to plan a bit of the spontaneous stuff to avoid the feeling of deprivation. Brrrr is right –double credit to you for swimming in the COLD!

BillBlueEyes: I am making the card for the “brainwashing” idea too…wise response to it! Thanks for the support about my dog!

Spiritangel: great idea to listen to the book while walking! Yes, “blowing the whole day” is a thought that most of us have come to act on in the past. There is a part of the book where she spells out eating one high calorie item…then adds on the next high calorie item, etc.. and then she adds up all the calories and it is obviously not pretty and seems so illogical to binge after eating one unplanned thing after reading that part (at least for me). Easier to read when we are not sitting there with the munchies or with tempting food in front of us!

Sue (again since I am now responding as I read...): Thanks for going over Day 4! It is a great reminder-200 food choices each day? Yes, we are all doing really well! I am truly impressed that you swam but mostly enjoyed reading how good you feel in the pool.

Maryblu: Yes, the momentum we all are experiencing is GREAT. This group has such wonderful energy.

NOthing really to speak of here... just doing my thing and coming down from being in some serious anxiety about my dog. Now I am giving him 15 pills per day and enjoying all the little things he is doing that is "back to what he normally would do". Hoping that momentum continues! I did some step aerobics last night and will hop on the treadmill tonight. LOVE that feeling of post exercise. Shoveling snow sounds like a bear of a job but what a workout! I am still enjoying some of the yummy food I cooked this weekend-credit moi.

Til tomorrow, Heidi
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Old 01-16-2008, 11:29 PM   #97  
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Hi All,
Less than 2 months to go on my pregnancy and then I'll be back to join you! Unlike my last pregnancy where I gained nearly 70 lbs , this time I hope to keep it around 40 (already up 30, so we'll see). I think the Beck plan really helped me with not losing total control this time around, although I certainly have eaten wayyyy too many cookies to consider it a total success! I am totally confident that I can get back on track right away and look forward to getting to know those of you who have joined since July.

Sue--I'm so happy to see you've had such success over the past 7 months! You are such an inspiration to me, and I can't wait to chat with you more in just a few months!

Take care, and I'll be back soon!
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Old 01-17-2008, 06:57 AM   #98  
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Thumbs up Thursday - Second day on travel

Diet Coaches - Good news: dinner at Ranch 1 at the airport was tasty grilled chicken over greens - on plan. GREAT NEWS: snack on both flights was baby carrots and a small Gala apple from my briefcase. I refused the airline's little baggies of FREE nibbles for the first time in my life. TWICE. A major motivation was just thinking that I could report that to my diet coaches. So, thanks to you all for being here. And, ta da, CREDIT moi.
Sabotaging Thought: You are Wimp One for making a big deal of a 100 calorie snack pack.
Helpful Response: Who cares. Refusing FREE food from an airline is a step in my journey toward responsible eating.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Duh. I didn't catch the cleverness of your "s.t.u.p.i.d." until Kitt (SuchAtwin) pointed it out. Nice.

MaryBlu - Kudos to you again. (Someone has to do it, LOL)

Kitt (SuchAtwin) - Ouch!! Sorry that FREE food gets under your radar also. Thanks for sharing such clarity about your thinking in a hypothetical conversation with yourself.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Glad that Henry remains alert; will continue to send positive thoughts.

SPIRITANGEL - Just thinking about how exciting it is to get started on Beck. Have you worked up an initial Advantages Response Card?

Karina - Hi Karina. It's great to see another contributer to the first Beck thread, The Beck Diet Solution - support group?, from months before I even discovered 3FC. You guys on that thread inspired me to take Beck seriously. Congrats on your pregnancy - wishing you continued success.

Readers - "You’ll get to the point where you react differently when you see food you know you shouldn’t eat." Beck, pg 24.

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Old 01-17-2008, 09:49 AM   #99  
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Hi everyone. Just taking time out from my practising to check in.

So far so good. Today is day 17, "end overeating" day. I will be putting extra in my pasta plate at dinner tonight and stopping when I'm full. Nice! Amazingly, I am getting results with this plan even though I'm not doing cardio or strength right now ... "just" yoga - but every day, religiously, with a 90-min class on Saturdays.

Maryblu - So true, I am loving the momentum of this group! Credit to all!!

Bill - Credit to you for keeping up the healthy eating and exercise - both planned and spontaneous! I *love* Indian food. Dal with nan sounds just scrumptious to me.

You have great thoughts about choosing between important activities. I studied for a weekend at Kripalu with the Buddhist teacher Tara Brach. One night she was lecturing, but there was also a concert/presentation about the effect of yoga on classical music performance ... a major, major interest for me. I presented her with my dilemma, and she said: "Abandon yourself to your choice." Wiser words were never spoken!! I went to the concert and have never regretted it.

SuchAtwin - Thanks for visiting my blog I really have to update it!! I'm just about to finish a pair of socks so that will probably be the next entry. Ah, burgers and fries. Even worse: FREE burgers and fries. You are wise in your response to the event - a new sunrise and a new day gives us all a new chance!

Heidi - Continued good thoughts to you and Henry. Kudos to you for your advance-cooked yummy food and your dedication to exercise!!!

Karina - Hi there I gained 65 with my pregnancy so I understand completely the desire to keep it lower this time. Best wishes for a wonderful third trimester & birth experience!

OK, back to the second movement. I wish this headache would go AWAY!!!! Gee, could all this time on the computer (Australian Open, Canadian figure skating nationals ....) have anything to do with it? Nahhhhh ....

cheers
Erika
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Old 01-17-2008, 07:55 PM   #100  
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Hello eveyone,

This is day 2 of glorious sun-flat calm pacific ocean-stunning. The entire little burg is in such a good mood-sitting out side, walking -nice break from the winter storms. Stores even stocking ice cream again.

This Beck stuff is working for me- I had a horrible last 2 day-was very angry with some close friends along- with fight with DH-came home and announced tonight I was having a cocktail (or else) Got my diet drink, did some computer work and completely forgot to have drink, even felt the bad mood pass, -Big Hurray for me for changing an ingrained habit-not just white knuckling it, but just plain forgot to have a drink or to overeat- another favorite tension reducer. Plus I managed to lose .8 of lb even while upset for 2 days. credit-saved much needed brain cells-reduced fat cells.

Erika, read you concerns of how to balance all the time needed in order do time consuming but helpful practices. Loved the idea of abandon your self to your choice. I tend be to a slow intergrated of new actions into my live- I keep the successful-and add bits of some new stuff. I did not add more meditate, yet the book gave me some great concept which I bring up when upset. My life is like a silent motion picture and I add all the dialogue-got to watch what I put in the script. Also to understand rummination (a common late night practice) was very helpful. It seemed to deal with depression without so much value judgements. Anything which helps me stop focusing on my "mistakes" or "failures" is a big help for me. Hope you like the book Heidi. Erika, I also don't have any TV-cancelled it 2 yrs ago and thought I have all this time for crafts and reading-so don't know where the time goes-few books or projects done in the last 2 years.

Heidi, to have a some calories each day for spontaneous eating has been a hugh help for me. Thanks!! It actually add a bit adventure for me to the day. So far it has not been a trigger but actually I put more thought into how I am going to spend the calories. So i am less impulsive. Kind like the kid in the candy store who only has $0.75 to spend and make a slow thought out purchase.

BillBlueEyes-not eating the airline snack-great choice. I found your sabataging thought interesting calling your self a wimp for making a big deal of the snack- I think your appreciation of great food just doesn't include some pathetic snack food made to the specification of free airline food and then stored in hot warehouses for many months. Now, if was some gourmet chocolate-ummm tough choice. Congradulation for sticking to such yummy and healthy foods. I agree posting here adds a sense (in a good way) of being accountable for food choices.

SucATwin-what a great description of going off the food plan. We have all done it! Then being free removed last part of resistance. Yep maybe there is a "bad Seed" to the free food. I do remember that movie-I think that Gregory Peck was the dad. I am going to use the phrase- Is this free the planting of the bad seed? to slow down the haste to consume.

Karina-what a delight to hear from you. Keep us update on your baby. Pretty exciting-all my babies are now close to 40 but we have delightful grandbabies to keep us young.

MaryBlu-what are your techniques to remain conscious around food? In my Buddhist study group we did a great exercise to use our senses-including taste-to be mindful and then I came home and inhaled lunch. Honestly, what does take me to learn this!

How are you doing SpritiAngel?

HI to all the readers.

Remember all of us are smarter together than one of us alone.

sue

Last edited by coastalsue; 01-18-2008 at 01:42 AM.
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Old 01-17-2008, 10:27 PM   #101  
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Hello Dear Beckies,

Quick answer to my dear CoastalSue: "what are your techniques to remain conscious around food?"

It takes Beck; it really does. Before Beck, when I lost my 80#s, I swear it was a gift. I just got full. I just ate less and lost weight. Who knew? Since my relapse, and getting all focused on food again, it takes Beck. It takes those mechanical, black and white, no choice, tried and true behaviors...it is so helpful to know that the BDS works. If you do it, all of it, you will succeed. Wow.

Today I did my day 12.....skip lunch. Didn't plan it, but by 2:00 and no lunch yet and still much running and work to do, I thought what the hay? Even if I didn't plan it, it still counts, right? Hard for me to gauge on a 1-10 scale, but it certainly wasn't a big deal. What am I supposed to do now? hmmmm..
credit moi? hmmmm. More than giving myself credit; I am laughing. I did it!

Will be thinking of Sue and anyone else with weather that is not below zero. We are not forecast to get about zero even in the daytime for at least the next 4 days...20 below at night is one thing, but not above 0 during the daytime is rough. Windchill is worse -40 or so! We are a hardy lot....also Norwegian.....

Great to hear from all..keep in touch!
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Old 01-17-2008, 11:58 PM   #102  
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Hello there friends,
Love the idea of "abandoning yourself for your choice". Sometimes I have so many choices that I end up not doing anything for a short spell (sometimes long spell). Applies to many areas of life.

Great work on that plane Bill!

You guys REALLY inspire me! I really feel like Beck is working for me as well. It is so encouraging to hear others feel the same way-reinforces that these habits we are developing are forever.

Gotta hit the hay-I am exhausted... residual of the emotional energy expenditure that seems to be behind me (I am cautiously optimistic...he SEEMS to be doing a bit better everyday..nothing medical confirms or negates that...). Happy Friday to everyone tomorrow... appreciating all of you and what you share/contribute about yourselves and of course your support of what others are dealing with.

Til tomorrow, Heidi
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Old 01-18-2008, 06:15 AM   #103  
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Thumbs up Friday - Third (final) day on travel

Diet Coaches - Thanks for all the support. I aced three meals that offered abundant opportunities for mindless eating. At breakfast I ignored the FREE bacon, sausages, pastries galore. At lunch I accepted the large cornbread muffin and left 2/3 of it on the plate - an UNUSUAL behavior for me. At dinner I skipped the offered pot stickers and mounds of Korean BBQ meats and had a "spicy trout" hot pot because I'd never had that (it reached the upper range of my hot tolerance) but I was delighted with my adventurous choice rather than a belly stuffing choice. CREDIT moi.

Plan for today's flight home:
Reject: All "pathetic snack food made to the specification of free airline food and then stored in hot warehouses for many months."
Accept: All "gourmet chocolate" offered by the airline. Ask for seconds.

Another plan is to log off 3FC and write my power point slides for today's presentation.


Sue (CoastalSue) - Kudos for dealing with anger, tension, and upset without using food or drink. Double kudos for doing it with equanimity rather than white knuckling it. You deserve that glorious sun.

MaryBlu - Kudos for the skipping lunch exercise, double kudos for doing it with laughter, triple kudos for doing it below 0 degrees F, LOL.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Good to hear that Henry isn't exhibiting the previous symptoms. Kudos to you for being aware that you've taken an emotional hit and need to take care of yourself. Continuing to send best thoughts your way.

Erika (eusebius) – What a beautiful piece of wisdom from Tara Brach, "Abandon yourself to your choice," from right here in the Berkshires, no less. Kudos for persistence with your yoga and moving forward with the Beck exercises. Good luck with leaving food on your plate - despite my reported success yesterday, that's still a hurdle for me. I'm a plate cleaner - grrrrrrr.

Readers - "I can control my eating if I plan in advance what I need to do and if I practice what I need to say over and over to myself." Beck, pg 13.

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Old 01-18-2008, 01:39 PM   #104  
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Hi Everyone,
Beck is really working for me! I'm so excited. Yesterday I avoided a binge!!!!! I can't believe it because I am a terrible binge eater and have been that way for years. I'm now on day 6 of Beck.
I had left my joggers at the lake house and didn't have them on me last night. I was thinking it was time to use my treadmill that was collecting dust. So I did a slow walk in my work heels for 20 mins on an incline of 5. My husband was laughing at me. I was proud of my commitment.

Bill- Great news about the plane flight. I find it very hard to pass up FREE food.
Heidi- Hope you got a good nights sleep
Maryblu- Wow that is cold! You poor things up there. I hate the wind.I've been whining about the weather in Nashville being 16 tomorrow.
Sue- Thanks for asking how I am. I'm doing better then ever.A big wave to you.
Erika- I hope to get into yoga. I'm so glad you're getting results with Beck
SuchAtwin- Your post made me laugh. A free dinner he he. I have trouble eating Mexican because I get the free corn chips. I remember the 'bad seed' movie. That little girl was scary. I think you did well. At least you didn't keep eating. That's what I usually do. I think 'I've blown it, may aswell make it a party and start new tomorrow.......bring on dessert.''

A big wave to everyone!
Love SpiritAngel (SUE #2)
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Old 01-18-2008, 05:40 PM   #105  
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I've been thinking about the success stories on 3fc....all the inspirational stories. The one that moves me most, and there are several, but the one I always come back to is Robin. She did all the things that Beck outlines, without the help we have available through the BDS.

I think about how "they" always say that before an alcoholic can finally stop drinking he/she first has to hit rock bottom. I don't know if that is true or not, but in every success story I read on here, each of these women and men, said "something had to change. I knew I had to do it." One even said, "if one way hadn't worked, I would have found another, because I knew I had to succeed."

When I read Robin's story, listen to what she outlines as the joys of living life thin, it strikes me she is living the Advantage Cards everyday. She is positively over-joyed. She revels in that everyday. What Beck is arming us to do with the Advantage cards is to create that same drive, same incentives, keeping our eye on the prize. As Covey says, "begin with the end in mind." If we haven't hit rock bottom, if that snap of determination hasn't happened, we can cling to the cards, read, read, read, just do the steps, everything is there, turn-key ready for us. If we do the program, it is not possible to fail...it takes alot of effort, but we just have to do it.

I am just doing what I did the first time, just eating less. Eating exactly what I want, just less. I decided to dance with the one who brought me, and I definitely feel the fat cells shrinking. Incidious little ulgy blobs that they are. Since it did not get above 10 below today, I am thinking I might want to hang onto a few for now! brrrrrrr.
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