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Old 01-03-2008, 12:13 PM   #16  
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Dear Beck Buddies,

Some powerful musings on the role of overeating and the role of personal responsiblity in all area of a healthy life-both spiritual and physically. For me the most difficulty part of Beck is that while doing the to-do list I did not change my core attitudes toward food-I have given food emotional powers to comfort, dull and reward. This power results in my yo-yo maintence of the food plan.

I wish to release the power of food versus my old approach which is to be periodically dieting/eating healthy with a sense of rigid control? While I have made some excellent healthy changes, I have a level of tension doing the numerous Beck steps which often increases with time that I finally deal with it by have by a food binge with company. Any help on releasing this food attitude/tension? Ann I am pondering you ideas of adding some planned treats to my menu. How do folks make sure treats don't become triggers-my big fear?

After reading Maryblu posting, I just starting thinking about the power of my attitude to food, and then you BillBlueEyes post your number one reason on your advantage card-about personal and spiritual growth. I know food is my favorite coping method for dealing with unmet or hidden needs. I guess I have the sabatoging thought when tense enough that-"But eating this right now will make me happy and poor me I deserve this bit of happiness and I will eat better tomarrow" Any ideas on this crazy thought?

Anyway thanks for letting me babble on-I have gotten back to weighing, preplanning, and recording and staying with a healthy amount of cals. but I do so worry about the next binge.

sue
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Old 01-03-2008, 04:27 PM   #17  
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Default Another neophyte...

I'm just beginning the diet phase of Beck, and haven't been able to find a "diet coach" who really understands cbt. The members here look amazing - there's a whole lot of introspection and thoughtfulness. Here's hoping you all can shoulder yet one more beginner!
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Old 01-03-2008, 05:58 PM   #18  
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Thumbs up Welcome avvocata

to the Beck discussion thread, avvocata, and to 3FC

We're all relatively beginners here - since the book has only been out since May 2007 - and we're looking for different perspectives. Please join right in the current discussion, even though you've already passed this point.

P.S. Neat avatar.

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Old 01-03-2008, 07:28 PM   #19  
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Hello everyone,
I hope each of you had success in your day, no let me reword that, I hope each of you realize you do have success in your day.
Welcome avvocata.
One main thing I am more aware of is that we need to be aware of the sabotaging thoughts, it is so easy for negative thoughts to sneak into our minds, but all the positives we don't focus on, or at least I don't. Note to self, work on this....
Sue, I have found that I plan foods into my day. For example if I want to have two cookies, I will count the points/calories for them and since that is all that is in my bag that is all I get. When I measure out a portion I do much better than if I say, I will take out say one handful and leave the bag on the counter. I have friends who eliminated treats all together for 21 days and then they re-introduced them, once a week. For me, I pack a bag each day, it has my fruits, vegetables, treats, in it. If I want something else I exchange what is in my bag. It works really easy now, at the beginning it was diffiuclt.
I know when Beck is evaluating your diet plan, it does ask if I can live with this plan for the long term. I know for me that is key for me as if I restrict myself completely I feel deprived and then think, once I reach my goal weight I can eat a, b and c and then I think I would just gain it back.
My advantage cards are: I will be healthier,
I'll be able to keep us with my DS,
I will feel better physically,
and I'll be more comfortable eating infront of others.

I don't like that this book makes me think. This is uncomfortable for me. I think I prefer to go through the motion..... My response is just do it anyway....

Have a wonderful night everyone.

be good to yourselves.

Ann
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Old 01-03-2008, 07:32 PM   #20  
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Sue, You wrote this

Some powerful musings on the role of overeating and the role of personal responsiblity in all area of a healthy life-both spiritual and physically. For me the most difficulty part of Beck is that while doing the to-do list I did not change my core attitudes toward food-I have given food emotional powers to comfort, dull and reward. This power results in my yo-yo maintence of the food plan.

This reminds me that people often let their money control them rather than controlling their money.....wow this is a big one for me, why am I letting food control me? I should be controlling my food. Somehow I learned to give control away. I am not sure if this makes sense. It is an Aha moment for me.
Thanks Sue,
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Old 01-03-2008, 08:14 PM   #21  
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Red face The Power of Beck!

Wow! This is really getting exciting. I am just fired up to get on the thread and read all the insight you all have been so willing to share. Being this open is hard. Credit ALL!

We are growing in #s and that is great, too...more collective wisdom, experiences, problem solving.

BillBlueEyes...wow. such incredible eloquence......and so powerful.
"Remaining responsible for myself allows me to be available to confront other issues and opportunities in my life. Each unsolved problem that I carry dulls my ability to be responsible in all areas of my life. Knowing that I was living an unhealthy lifestyle was costing me more than just the health issues."


That is exactly what I was trying to say yesterday! You voiced it perfectly. And great credit to you for an Advantage Response so well thought out..I think Beck would be delighted!

CoastalSue, and all who have posted about the power food has to hold us, hold our attention, it is puzzling, isn't it? But so, well......powerful

I would like to put this out there for all and see what you think. The thing I like best about CBT and particularly Beck's step by step, detailed, methodical approach is simply that. I love a mechanical, routine, step-by-step action plan. Beck does lay it out for us and does assure us that it becomes routine.

Everytime we follow the plan, practice in advance our helpful responses, exercise our "resistance muscle", it becomes more routine and more the way we behave. We don't have to worry about our behavior tomorrow; what counts is our behavior each time we have to respond to whatever food stimulus we are confronting. We just have to have our plan ready, our responses and strategies in place. Just this moment is what counts.

Pretty soon we begin to think of ourselves as "in control". It is kinda the old wisdom, behave "as if". If you are sad and want to cheer up, behave as if you are happy.

I am happy we haven't moved onto day 2 yet and the diet discussion. There is alot of meat here to discuss first....ahhh.....sic.....cheap shot, I know.

Need to read my Advantage cards!
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Old 01-04-2008, 01:32 AM   #22  
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Hello friends,
This is such a wonderful group-I really appreciate reading other's thoughts and experiences and being able to share my own.

BillBlueEyes: I think that I was tired when I wrote my bit about my diet coach last night-that diet coach/friend started to have some personal crises and just couldn't make time for our weekly phone call. I began looking for another coach and found this group! I have not defined exactly what a coach does but love this group and another one that I am a part of because 1. they are groups of people who understand the Beck philosophy and can therefore help me problem solve and I can learn from issues that they deal with in ways that I may want to use since we have BDS in common 2. it is here 24/7 -I was having a hard time thinking that one person could be as available for this as I was interpreting in the book that they needed to be... I also have a hard time asking someone to sacrifice a lot for me (in this case, time to listen to my progress and issues).

Coastalsue: My sabotaging thoughts tend to run in the "I deserve this" category frequently as well. I also REALLY want to overcome that feeling of going on "autopilot" that I get myself into when I lose weight. I am REALLY trusting BDS to help me change my thoughts about food-you have articulated what I am feeling so well about this-this is for the long haul. Beck would probably say that we could counteract that type of thinking with "I deserve to take really great care of my body" or "I deserve to be happy but eating this xyz will only make me happy temporarily and I will surely regret eating it later"...

maryblu: I believe that you are right about us behaving our way into changing. My problem in the past has been that I do that but then get tired of the "behaving" (exercise, being hungry, etc...) and slowly slack off and gradually get used to the new levels (or lack of) of effort to stay healthy. I really think that, in this case, the power for me with this program is addressing my sabotaging thoughts. It has been very difficult for me to identify what I am thinking when eating something I don't really want to eat.

You are all so inspiring. I also love your ARC Billblueeyes....

Goodnight friends....kudos to me-I have now lost 10% of my starting weight!
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Old 01-04-2008, 05:50 AM   #23  
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Thumbs up Friday - More bitter cold

Another item on my Advantage Response Card:
Weight distorts all other medical advice (e.g “But you should lose weight first.”)
Whatever issue I brought to a doctor (other than a wart, LOL) losing weight seemed to influence the discussion. Was never really sure that my issue was fully probed since weight was a plausible cause that relieved the tension of uncertainty.


Sue (CoastalSue) - With this thought, "I have given food emotional powers to comfort, dull and reward.", you're reminding me that a goal is to reduce a donut to just being a donut. If I can demystify food, then i can create space in my head to see what I am about to do, then can think, and then can employ a Beck strategy.

MaryBlu - Good thought for me: "It is kinda the old wisdom, behave "as if". " The trick for me to convert that thought into doing the Beck strategies is to remember to ask myself if I have an alternative to the harmful behavior that I'm about to do. I am better at this when I spot situations in advance, like mentally preparing myself before going to a restaurant. I have to give up the belief that I shouldn't have to do any work to make this happen.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - You raise the notion that by working on giving ourselves credit we will increase our ability to spot the negative Sabotaging Thoughts. What a good incentive to confront the Sabotaging Thoughts about giving myself credit. CREDIT moi for being able to hear that. Your Advantage, "I will feel better physically" reminds me that I hadn't expected to feel better ALL THE TIME after losing weight, but I do.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos to you for losing 10% of your body weight. I tend to also have this problem: "It has been very difficult for me to identify what I am thinking when eating something I don't really want to eat." For me, it's a new notion to even question what I was thinking. Lots of room for my growth here.

Readers - "Just as the decision to eat can reduce tension, the decision not to eat can reduce tension." Beck, pg 31.

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Old 01-04-2008, 08:58 PM   #24  
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Hello everyone and Happy New Year!

Wow, you guys are moving right along here! So much to catch up on.

I returned last night. It was an amazing trip, I had a wonderful time! Paris was COLD, but beautiful. I'm still trying to figure out how those Parisian women stay so slim when they barely cook and eat out all the time!

I did indulge in the food, perhaps a bit much, but it was worth it I think. I didn't have a bad meal while I was there.

The sights were breathtaking as well, I was just so excited to be there! So many monuments and museums and churches; the Eiffel Tower, the Lourve Notre Dame, just amazing. I took over 500 pictures in 6 days!

Anyhoo, I am going to my WW meeting tomorrow morning, checking out the damage and starting new for the new year. I'm tired and trying to rest my body from the jet lag, so I'll do my best to catch up on all the posts this weekend and see what you guys have been up to.
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Old 01-04-2008, 10:34 PM   #25  
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Dear All,

Worried about CoastSue.......the storm news sounds dreadful. We are all holding a good thought, and we will be soooooo happy when you check in with us to say all is over and OK.

Welcome home, CammieCam. What is the name of that book? The French Paradox?? Is that it? The fact that the French eat fatty foods, drink wine, and are much thinner than Americans? I didn't read it, but the summaries concluded that smaller portions, slow eating, much walking pretty much did the trick. Yes?

BillBE..again thanks for being able to say exactly, so clearly, the pure kernel of the issue: "The trick for me to convert that thought into doing the Beck strategies is to remember to ask myself if I have an alternative to the harmful behavior that I'm about to do. I am better at this when I spot situations in advance, like mentally preparing myself before going to a restaurant. I have to give up the belief that I shouldn't have to do any work to make this
happen."


That is sooo why I love the routine......just do it......just plan ahead.......have your response cards......do it so automatically...

If we are a healthcare practioner, there is a routine, there is a standard practice, there is something we do, as a matter of course, automatically. That is what happens with Beck......we do it, with prompts, practice, do... until it is automatic......BillBE would say it is getting more automatic, I do think!

I have had a few interesting days, getting hungry again.....it feels good...it has been awhile! ...more on that later......that lesson is later.......lol


Our Advantage Response Cards....

"I want my clothes to hang on me again". That is more thought out than it sounds, because it comes with the memory of how that felt..without the clothes getting caught up on a lump or a bump......I can feel it.


"Another item on my Advantage Response Card:
Weight distorts all other medical advice (e.g “But you should lose weight first.”)

Whatever issue I brought to a doctor (other than a wart, LOL) losing weight seemed to influence the discussion. Was never really sure that my issue was fully probed since weight was a plausible cause that relieved the tension of uncertainty."
BillBlueEyes


Kudos, BillBE, for another well thought out Advantage Response. It is also so true!

How about this one?

Being a normal weight takes that issue/reason/factor out of every life equation...being over weight is no longer a factor in relationships, job performance and rewards, electability..lol......sic......whatever, pick a catergory..or add to it! It no longer is the overwhelming elephant in the room.

Enjoy thinking about a LONG list of advantages to losing the weight for good, all my Beck friends.

Some of us just starting out are thinking about our primary diet plan and a back up plan....and are looking forward to next week and the next two lessons.......or we are forging on where ever we are in the BDS
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Old 01-04-2008, 11:06 PM   #26  
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Hello Group

I am new to this thread. Your Beck plan seems to offer some hope, where the last diet book that I read offered dismal failure. Unfortunately holding it in the back of my mind gave me permission to throw the diet out and unfortunately over the holiday months (Oct _ Dec) I managed to regain a lot of weight....with out any effort at all. LOL

I too resented thin people who don't seem to have any trouble keeping their weight in normal perspective. While "thin" people may make decisions regarding their eating habits, I still don't think they have the same problems that fat people have. I find that stress is my brains signal to eat. Thin people seem to be unable to eat when stressed or emotional. I finally realized that the first thing I need to address when my brain is yelling at me to eat (inappropritely) is to ask myself what am I stressing about???? Amazingly I am able to put my finger on it.....usually I ask myself how eating will solve this stess problem........usually that takes care of the "eat signal".

Please forgive my ramblings...I don't have the book, but based on what I have read here, I will probably get it fairly soon.....I ordered from Amazon once before and it took me over a month to get the book.

I have had another brain adjustment in the diet department, and I am wondering if it is a fly by or if it will last. Right now I have noticed that as a result of the last cycle of regaining which naturally included a lot of binging, I now feel better feeling "in control" when I am dieting. Where as previously I just felt deprived. Now I don't feel deprived, I feel more like I am in control because of the "diet program" I am following. Somehow, it just feels better to be "on program". (does Beck have a comment on this?)

Anyway, I am glad I found this group, and find your inputs fascinating.
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Old 01-05-2008, 06:32 AM   #27  
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Thumbs up Welcome moxiesd

to the Beck thread, moxiesd,

What a great job of condensing The Beck Diet Solution into one sentence:
Quote:
Amazingly I am able to put my finger on it.....usually I ask myself how eating will solve this stess problem........usually that takes care of the "eat signal".
Do get the book; our snippets here convey the concepts but the power is achieved by working the to-do lists and writing our responses to the exercises of each Program-day. Some people use only the book, some only the workbook, some swear by using both. My Amazon experience has always been less than a week delivery - two days since I've started using their two day service. You might have hit a glitch, it's worth trying again.

P.S. Like you name; is moxie a commonly understood word in your part of the world?

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Old 01-05-2008, 07:38 AM   #28  
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Thumbs up Saturday - East Coast milder, California hit by storm

Another item on my Advantages Response Card:
Buy clothes that fit. Be proud of clothes and select ones I like.
OK, I have that guy-thing indifference to clothes, except that I DO notice when I LIKE the clothes I'm wearing. When I have a negative image of my body, I buy stuff on sale that doesn't fit, that I'd never wear, that doesn't feel good to me. And, biggest thing, I lose the connection that I can change that.


MaryBlu - You capture, in one choice word, the feeling that I was chasing above with: "I want my clothes to hang on me again." Ouch!

And you again capture another big feeling with the "overwhelming elephant in the room". I think you're really on to chasing down the way that weight seeps into all aspects of our life.


Sue (CoastalSue) - Hope you're OK Sue. Ominous news reports from California: "600,000 in the dark ... as much as 10 feet of snow for the Sierra Nevada."

Cammie (CammieCam) - Welcome home!!! Can't wait to hear your stories from Paris.

moxiesd - You wrote: "I now feel better feeling "in control" when I am dieting. Where as previously I just felt deprived. ... (does Beck have a comment on this?)" The first chapters and the first Program-days speak a lot about avoiding being deprived. One quote is:
Quote:
Once I accept the fact that I have to follow a healthy eating plan for life, dieting will be easier.
To my ears, your phrase "feel better" is stronger, more encouraging than Beck's phrase "easier."


Readers - "Eating is not automatic. You can learn how to take control." Beck, pg 32.

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Old 01-05-2008, 11:58 AM   #29  
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Dear All,

To say that patience is not my strong suit would be a laughable understatement. No matter how much I watch CNN or monitor things online, I have to accept the fact that we won't get news of CoastalSue until she checks in. Thoughts are with you, friend Sue. Maybe a little Beck wisdom is transposing itself into other areas of my life, hmmmm? We can only hope; I know some of my family would appreciate a little more patience in the house!

I am amazed, but shouldn't be surprised, that the Beck wisdom is just really adapting and learning from past experience (mistakes AND successes). This is so well stated..and btw......welcome...moxieds...wow! You are so READY for Beck..."Right now I have noticed that as a result of the last cycle of regaining which naturally included a lot of binging, I now feel better feeling "in control" when I am dieting. Where as previously I just felt deprived. Now I don't feel deprived, I feel more like I am in control because of the "diet program" I am following. Somehow, it just feels better to be "on program". (does Beck have a comment on this?)" moxiesd

For me, the "control" comes from the step-by-step, routine, very scripted methodology of Beck..it really lays it out for you, step by step, and then even has you plan for the unexpected, the possible trouble you may encounter.

As I am watching the storms on CNN, I am thinking of how effectively Walmart tracks what people need to buy for hurricanes...and they stock it...have it ready for purchase. Effective retail success and for a profit to be sure, but FEMA should take note, and we can all take note, and have a plan in place! We, too, will profit.

I know one thing for certain. To use Beck effectively, you need to read, and reread the book...I have no experience with the workbook, so maybe that would suffice, but you need to read and reread....that is why this online study group is something to which I have committed..well, and then there is the affection I feel for all here......

The Beck Diet Solution

"In order to lose weight this time, you'll learn crucial Cognitive Therapy techniques that you'll use for the rest of your life. They include planning what you'll eat, choosing healthy foods, resisting cravings, soothing yourself without turning to food ..you'll also learn essential skills to counter sabotaging thoughts....the good news is that once you learn these skills, dieting becomes much easier..".Beck, pg. 41

Credit to moxiesd..you are a quick study!!
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Old 01-05-2008, 12:10 PM   #30  
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Hi everyone,

thanks for the conerns-The storm not as bad as thought- we have been out of power since Thurs wasn't expected back on until Sunday Morning-but we got some on today-But things are flickering so I am signing off until I can trust that there will be no brown or black outs.
sue
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