Hi everyone,
Back @ school this week so pretty busy.
I'm on day 4 and feeling in control. I haven't lost a thing yet, but I'm so happy to feel in control.
I'm doing this watcher technique that's in the 4-day Win Beck book, and I th ink it might be helping with compulsive eating, and I'm really enjoying the Weight Watchers plan. I think there is something really great about not depriving yourself of any food. I tell myself I can have anything, and I even can have a large portion, but I just have to be careful the rest of the day or couple days.
Hey Girly! Glad to see you're back on track. 4 whole days must be a real accomplishment. I succumbed to cookies tonight but I will just do as you're doing: be careful the next day or so. In the long run, it will all work out.
Hey you other chicks! Hope you're still doing well.
L
EDITED TO ADD SOME EARLY FRIDAY MORNING THOUGHTS:
Hey all fellow thinkers,
I'm really struggling with the desire to comfort-eat these days. My job is so stressful, my boss (a real devil-in-prada type who has no life and doesn't seem to want anyone else to have one either) is so disorganized and so uncommunicative which creates frequent unnecessary emergencies for the rest of us, that I sometimes wake up with this heavy dreadful feeling inside because I have to go to work. I struggle through each day, wanting to quit but knowing I have to stay to at least the end of the year and feeling trapped like a rat in a cage. I can see life outside the cage but just cant get to it. Sometimes that takes away the energy for exercise and often it causes food cravings that overwhelm my desire to deprive myself of those foods so that I can enjoy the longer term goal of a thinner healthier body. I just want to say that it's SO HARD to work on having a healthy "state of body" when you're in an unhealthy state of mind. I WILL do this. I WILL get there. It's just going to take longer than I want it to.
I thank you all for your support and companionship. I'm hoping your successes will give me that burst of energy that will help me get over the mountain of misery that is standing between me and my willpower....or whatever it is that gives us those long strings of "good days" that add up to weight loss.
Thanks for being here. And now I'm going to work.
L
Liannie, it was painful even to read your post. I'm sorry you have to go through that. That would be hard for me as well. I don't function well in disorder or chaos. I can really understand where you would want to soothe with food. Really understand.
Since you have decided to stay to the end of the year, can you *OK, don't hate* make an appreciation list of where you are? I learned this in a spiritual group, and it has helped to feel better about my job until I get the next one. Just a list of what IS good. Like *I'm making a nice salary, and i can buy lots of nice meals out and wine and things for my beautiful new home.* *I get to see the mountains on my drive to work and that fills me up* *I enjoy talking with X* *I am learning great things for my next job* *I have a great office* *I have the most comfortable work chair and my butt feels good sitting in it *I feel proud to be employed* *They have the best coffee at work and it's free* etc., etc. It's a really effective exercise.
I did this just for my job, a few times, and then eventually I was able to do a similar appreciation list for a young supervisor at work that was giving me all kinds of grief. I tried to do the appreciation list for her at first but couldn't.
Just seeing her would make me tense up and start feeling hatred. Anyhow, eventually doing the appreciation list for her, which took some baby steps, has made a HUGE difference. I can almost get into a peaceful place about her, and feel much better when I see her. The hatred is *poof* gone. (as of this week actually) I realized later that my feelings about her were mostly connected to my wanting to be in a new job, and feeling unhappy and unappreciated there (long before she came around), just manifested as her unappreciating.
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How are the Beck techniques going for you all?
I haven't looked at the BDS in a while, but what I still do on a regular basis is
~sit down for my meals way more often
~enjoy/focus on every bite. This has become close to ingrained now.
~record my food (I can't seem to plan every meal and stick to it, tho...I really find my inner self resisting that so I"m letting it go for now. )
~stopped deluding myself
I could do a little better on planned exercise, but I have learned to do a lot more spontaneous exercise. Wow, you can really get in a lot of exercise just from parking far, walking to drop a letter in the mailbox, etc...
I'm still loving her 4-day Win book, and would love to chat about that if anyone reads it.
I'm feeling in control. I don't know when the shift happened, but it feels really great. Now hopefully I'll have some weight loss to go with all my new-found ways. I'm down a pound. Honestly, I reached such a low (a low with compulsive eating, most certainly not a low in weight) this time that I think I would even be happy with a pound a week, and I never in a million years thought I'd say that. I just don't want to be in that compulsive place.
WOW. What powerful stuff, Girly! Thanks for the hand-up out of the dark pit I've been in. YES I CAN make that list. I just never thought of making one. THERE ARE things I used to appreciate but they have been drowned by this wave of anxiety that has been washing over me in recently. I will work on the list this weekend and let you know what changes it makes.
I still don't have the 4-Day Win book but I just ordered it from Amazon's website and should have it within the next 10 days. I would love to start a discussion about it. If I focus on happiness and self-improvement, I think I can get through these next few months. AND I want to join you in feeling that sense of control! I hate myself for the way I ate yesterday. Instead of getting back on track, I fell into fast-food frenzy because I let myself get too hungry (guess why? work, of course) and then followed the cravings all the way to Compulsion Central.
Today is a new day though, and these are the Beck Principles I am generally following:
--recording (on most days)
--sitting down to eat (almost every day)
--following an exercise plan (restarting today)
--getting incidental exercise (every day)
--practicing hunger tolerance (most days)
--not overeating (most days)
What do I really stink at?
--overcoming cravings
--emotional eating
Since it's the emotional eating of the bad stuff that leads to the cravings, I see that as my next project. I will start by making that list.
This is why I LOVE THIS GROUP! Just talking to you all lifts my spirits and enhances what little wisdom I have. Thanks for giving me some joy today.
I hope a happy Saturday is had by all. I will holler back later or tomorrow.
G and L some inspiring concepts for dealing with a sense of overwhelming stress. For me the learning how to cope with my emotions and the NOT using food to calm, reward , energize or (over) celebrate is my true diet challenge. I truly know my "shoulds" it is my "don't want to do it" that keeps me fat.
Most all of my work has been in the non-profit/service sector -being understaff dealing with a needy population along with ineffectual management-uggh. It sound like you have jobs that can be be so demanding with no time for acknowlegment of your accomplishments -in fact management may even limit you success. I have empathy but little advice about how to cope-love the list idea G. In a small way i work on the somewhat the same concept. I try to remind myself to focus on all that is going well in my life and appreciating that. Sometime I just want some force in the universe to tell me I am doing great and my efforts are so appreciated. -maybe a couple a times a week would be great-mean while back to reality.
Right now I am using food to energize me. It has been very busy-much very good but I am exhausted with very painful and stiff joints. The big new is that we have a beautiful grand daughter-who had some stress moments in delivery but arrive being very healthy. We spend 9 hrs in the car to get a precious 1 hr visit with the happy family. Also was called in to work some days and my husband family visited. I am exhausted and know that hauling this extra 150 lb really adds being so tired. Here come the really illogical part-I have being eating high carbs and sweets. The very thing that made the extra fat- I crave. That crazed illogical brain.
G- so glad to hear you are in control and feel good. Being in control is so powerful. Even if the scales don't move, you know that they will soon. Plus you did loose a LB. I am not even going to look at the scales until I am back on program a number of days. L, you are doing alot of the beck stuff-keep that up.- you have more than a little wisdom-you are one wise lady-plus being very witty. I hope to be joining you both soon modifiy my mindless eating. I don't have the 4 day book yet, but got a book on cd of Marths beck- the joy diet. Even in that she works on getting the old brain to be positive.
sue
Last edited by coastalsue; 09-08-2007 at 03:37 PM.
A friend will be here shortly and we are going to ...imagine this....cook! lol.
Fresh basil demands pesto.......and we are doing the tomato, fresh basil, fresh mozzerella, olive oil thing....there is a name for that.....but with all this fresh garden produce, oh...fresh cantaloupe..gotta do it.
I have been so caught up in the openness of all your frank feelings....and some great wisdom from you all..I had forgotten about Beck! lol.....still haven't bought myself another book, but will be at B and N for a meeting on Wednesday, so plan to get both...haven't heard much about the new one.
The appreciation list is a great idea.......I had a similiar issue with someone at work...it took a year with my psychologist to let go of it! Then I just let it go! It was *that* easy...who knew? lol.
There are a couple of people I give way too much power to.......I let them punch my buttons...and the negativity comes out.....one is just the black and white kind...if I say up, she says down........if had said down, she would have said up......I just can't seem not to get caught up in trying to justify, defend what I have said...just a vicious circle.....why don't I just let it go??
I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying this fine almost-fall day!
Thanks for a great discussion about how we give our power away to others by letting them inflict anxiety upon us which we mistakenly try to blunt with food. Your ideas have shown me that this is exactly what it is--letting buttons be pushed (thanks for that Maryblu), dwelling on the negatives (thanks Girly), looking for validation outside ourselves (a big thanks to Sue for that one). It reminded me of a conversation I had last week. A recovering addict I was working with told me the best lesson he learned in one of his 12-step programs was this: There are only 2 rules in life. #1-Life is not fair. #2-Never forget Rule #1. It really makes sense.
In fact, Girly, that's a "positive" to put on my list. My job gives me the opportunity to interact with people I may never have met otherwise and learn from them as well as helping them. Actually, that's what I love the most about it. It's management and the political crap that sometimes overshadows the pure pleasure of helping fellow human beings. But I'm not letting it bother me today. And I'm darn sure not overeating because of it for today. I guess I'll take it one day at a time, and today will be a good day. I'm determined to make it so.
My Beck lesson for the day today will be overcoming cravings. I will stay on plan today and avoid sweets. And I will make a plan for next week, then buy only the groceries required for it. My overall goal is NO fast food during the week.
How about you ladies? What's the plan for the coming week? What lessons do you plan to work on?
In a small way i work on the somewhat the same concept. I try to remind myself to focus on all that is going well in my life and appreciating that.
sue
That's great that you do this naturally. I don't know why being grateful was hard for me. It's not hard at all for people I care about and am around, but beyond that, it's natural for me to complain. So changing that (except for the occasional times I slip back in that groove) has done wonders for my life.
Liannie, I'm so glad you are feeling better and that we all had some small part in it. You have helped me out of the hole a few times; specifically I can remember one time I had a total hissy fit a while back and both you and Sue were just fine about it. It helped that you didn't react and that I was still welcome here.
Maryblu, your fresh food sounded AwESOME...hope it was fun. Yummy.
My goals are to just *stick* to the new food plan, and to take time to relax--next week's going to be really busy.
thanks for sharing your insights. I struggle all of that stuff - letting go of angry-sometimes decades old, validating my own self worth (inspite of other's attitude), and appreciating all that is going right. One of the appeals of Beck is that changing the mind can affect the brain. I am always trying to read more stuff on mind changing-cognitive therapy ideas, meditation ideas ect. I am trying to understand and practice being mindful and being in the moment. Stop the brain chatter of "why did that happen", "what will happen" "why did they say that" and "if only". I have seconds of success in hours of rumminating. Love the rule #1 and #2 about life is not fair. It is so true and yet we are the lucky ones on this planet. While I hate being fat-unfair genes ect.-I am lucky that I have a disease that is curable- I have option to get healthier.
It is time for me to return to an eating plan. Would love some feedback on which one. The past 50 lb were lost on a rather strict plan of 1400-1600cals a day and swimming 3-4 hrs a week which counted as 500 cals for each hr of swimming. Fitday showed I need over 3000 cals a day to maintain my weight so I should have lost between about 3 lb a week-It was much slower - more like 3 -4 lb a month.
WW shows I should eat 33 pnts or about 1650 cals a day. Plus 35 flex pnts to be used over the week for another 1750 cals. There is a plan called Wendie which has a pattern for using the flex pnts so that each day you eat a varied amount of cals so the body doesn't get use to a set/fixed cals and doesn't adjusted to it-hopefully does not plateau so easily. I am actually scared to eat so much but tried of being so restricted all the time. Any info or suggestions about diets or ww in general? I don't have any ww meeting locally -can either use my old ww info or go on line.
M- I love that basil and tomatoe dish-I think it has an italian name. yumm
Sue,
I'm finishing a week on WW with a weigh-in tomorrow. I was afraid of being starving all the time because that's how I remember WW, but so far, I've been fine (and I've lost 2#s now). The flex points are really cool b/c it helps to counter that deprivation beast that can get us all. Before I ate at about 18 points--that was the only way I lost. And I WAS starving all the time. Now with a heavier weight and their modified plan, I'm at 25 + the flex points.
What Ive noticed after a week of playing around with points online is that they have made some newer adjustments on their plan for carbs. Like 1 C of onions is 0 but if the onions are cooked (onions are esp carby when cooked)then it's 1 point. Same with carrots. I think that's a change from when I did it many years ago.
Also, all veggies are not free. Like I made a version of the old weight watchers soup and 1 cup is 0 points, but 2 cups is 1 point. So they've built in some (I think smart) new stuff into their plan. I thought before it was unlimited veggies pretty much across the board. (?)
I'm afraid of if I can go down lower when my weight drops--you know, as they drop your points as your weight goes down.
I was also afraid that I wouldn't lose eating that way, so I got onto their board and I asked if they new anyone in their experience who it hadn't worked for, who couldn't lose despite following the plan, and 9 people responded, some with many friends or workmates who had done it, and none of them knew of anyone for whom it didn't work. (when following plan)
Right now they have a 1 week online FREE trial, which is what I've been doing. I will say their website is awesome and it makes tracking way easier via computer. For me, I didn't enjoy the meetings much, so for now I'm just going to try the online service, which is also cheaper than meetings.
Hey Ladies, hope you all had good weekends. I really appreciate the discussion on here! I think sometimes even if we can't master our crazy compulsions yet, there's something empowering about recognizing them and saying "I know you're there and I'm going to let you win this time, but it's my choice" or something similar.
coastalsue - Congrats on the new grand-baby!
maryblu - Your tomato/mozzerella salad sounds so good!
girlythin - Glad you're enjoying WW! I'm thinking I may do that plan as well, I have all my materials from last time still.
I had a crazy end of week here. I had a migraine for two days and of course had to take care of myself with ice cream and other junk-y, delicious food. :P I'm trying not to let it get me down. Because of being out-of commission for that, I didn't get the details of my diet and planning hammered down. I think I'm going to spend another week just recording everything after I eat it. Seems to be working okay so far.
My parents came to visit, I haven't seen them in 3 weeks or so and they both said I look like I'd lost a couple pounds, so that's always encouraging!
I just gave my 14-month old daughter some crackers and she's lying on her back, a cracker in each hand, so happy to eat them. I really don't want to pass on my food issues to her. I'm certain that my mom had a big hand in mine, although I have forgiven her for that, it would be better if Layla never has to deal with all this.
G-thanks for ww info-and the heads up about the changes. I am going for the free week. Got a make a change quick to avoid regaining weight. You have been struggling and it is great to hear your success both in losing weight and finding it easy to do. Congradulations.
Veronica-sorry to hear about your migraine-hear they are horrible. I understand you wanting to break old unhealthy habits so your children don't have worry about weight issues. None of my kids are big foodie like me,
Keep up with recording food, some say that is one of the best things to do to change eating patterns.
I like the fact that I work with some really cool people; that my salary is better than before I got a degree and now it has enabled me to have the brand new house I never imagined I would have; that I interact with people as a result of my job whom I may not otherwise have met; that I am able to touch people's lives now instead of merely punching a clock and pushing papers. OK, those are 4 things I like about this job I'm going to leave soon. I think I can hang on to those for a while. (Just wanted to get that said since I promised to post it over the weekend...)
And CONGRATS to you Girly for a successful week on WW! Yay! Get in that groove and stay there! Your success will carry the rest of us along in your tailwind.
Sue, are you going to do WW too? I've done the calorie-count myself and have only been successful when very organized and fairly stringent. Is it easier to do points?
Maryblu, I saw you over on Fat Smash saying you're starting tomorrow. Good for you! That has a lot of veggies, right? I love to eat them but can't seem to keep up with all the prep before they spoil in my crisper. Hopefully you'll teach us something about that.
Veronica, so sorry to hear about the migraine. Something like that can really get in the way of a diet plan. Just hang in there and pick up where you left off when you can.
As for my plan, I had a good day today foodwise and did my second workout in 3 days. I'm starting a 12 week challenge on the 22nd and I'm gearing up for all the weight lifting that will be involved. Building muscle will burn those calories and that's what will melt this blubber! Bye bye blubber!
I like the fact that I work with some really cool people; that my salary is better than before I got a degree and now it has enabled me to have the brand new house I never imagined I would have; that I interact with people as a result of my job whom I may not otherwise have met; that I am able to touch people's lives now instead of merely punching a clock and pushing papers. OK, those are 4 things I like about this job I'm going to leave soon. I think I can hang on to those for a while. (Just wanted to get that said since I promised to post it over the weekend...)
See, the thing is...about starting Fat Smash.....see.........weelllll.....
I have been so caught up in my "diet dispair".....do this, do that....I did Fat Smash Phase I detox for 4 days awhile back and loved it......so why did I stop? dunno......it really makes me feel good.....I ran it through myfitday, and was getting over 35 gms. of fiber....about 1400 calories.....and really felt great. The biggest challenge is the meals away from home...the only restaraunt I have found where you can get a true FS lunch is Ruby Tuesday's salad bar.....and if you haven't tried it, it is awesome. All FS friendly, and great, great food. Of course any salad bar with Edamame on it is tops for me.
So, No, have not started FS..or the diet QOD...have any of you seen that one? There is a website....it is intriguing....I was considering it, but never could make it through the fasting day! lol.
The one good note to report, we are starting our study group week after next....there are 3 of us, and I am asking one more friend to join......it will be an odd assortment......good odd, not bad, and the big bonus for me is that they are 3 of my favorite friends, but they don't know each other.....yet....so, I think that will help a lot.......thanks all, for caring!
I posted on another thread on gardening, so wanted to share this pic of my garden last July with all of you.....I have added lots more since then! (and, my beloved Plum tree is gone, but not yet "stumped", so I can't get the replacement in yet. *sigh)
*I feel proud to be employed* *They have the best coffee at work and it's free* etc., etc. It's a really effective exercise.
